Disclaimer: Same as chapter 1.
Chapter 6: Losing her Mind All Over Again
She had known what she was going to say to her therapist; she was going to tell the doctor all about her newest hallucinations. Well she might have left out a few details here and there, but she was going to tell the woman the majority of the truth. At least that was until she stood in the hallway with a very confused Winter staring at her as if Rian had suddenly declared her undying love for the older girl.
Rian searched the hallway, for some reason that she could not understand, looking for the thing that had kept her up so many nights. Emmett Cullen was a freaking vampire. Now her infatuation with him was mixed with fear for her life.
How can vampires be real? Why have they plagued her since she could remember? Had she met one before?
The loud ringing of a bell sounded in her ears, making her jump. Her thoughts were disrupted as she fought the urge to run and hide under her covers and continuing life as if nothing happened.
Then she got another scary thought, possibly one more frightening than the fact that vampires were real: was she having another psychotic break and Winter wasn't actually there. She was beginning to question everything, she wasn't sure what was real anymore and what was fantasy.
Panic swelled in her stomach. Her thoughts became cloudy as she attempted to figure out what was going on, she put her back against the wall of the school. Luckily for her, most students were in their classes by this time. The only ones in the hall were her and 'Winter'. "Are you okay?" Winter said quietly.
Two days back and she was already losing her mind. Two days back and she realized all her nightmares and hallucinations could possibly be real. Two days back and she was already sleeping with someone she barely knew…someone who was a member of the species that haunts her. Two days back and she was falling apart.
Rian didn't notice, but tears were streaming down her face nor did she notice that she was crouched down pushing herself as close to the wall as she could. When she felt pressure on her shoulder, she nearly screamed. Winter was mouthing something to her but she couldn't understand what the other girl was saying.
Instead of trying to figure it out, Rian jumped up and grabbed the other girl's hand and ran to the bathroom. It was quiet, no one else was there. Rian quickly locked the door so no one would walk in on them. The younger girl pulled her shirt off and her pants. "How many bruises do you see?"
Winter quickly counted. "Umm… just three. The biggest one on your shoulder. Are you okay?"
"I-ugh, I got them in the hallucinations yesterday. I think I did anyway."
"Maybe you did them to yourself?" Winter's logical mind refusing to believe the irrational thoughts that Rian's so readily believed.
Rian looked at herself in the mirror. "Yeah, maybe." But she was unconvinced. That had never happened before. And she could feel the truth, she had always known the truth. Vampires did exist, creatures do go bump in the night.
She quickly pulled her clothes on and unlocked the door. She now had another dilemma to attend to: what was she going to tell her therapist at her next appointment? Would she tell her that it was all a hallucination and that she didn't believe any of it? That option would probably keep her out of the hospital. Or would she tell her she was losing her grip on reality again? She would be thrown in the box and the key tossed in the trash if she told them the truth.
Winter and Rian walked to their art class quietly, all the while both girl's minds on very troubling questions.
Rian knew one thing for certain, she would stay away from Emmett Cullen. She was not going to chance her life on his restraint.
Staying away was no easy task. Emmett kept looking at her with concern written in his beautiful honey eyes. And between Emmett's concern (and his determination to make sure Rian was fine) and Rian's own feelings drawing her towards the man, she found that staying away took all her determination, all her strength.
Emmett has tried to corner the redhead three times in the following week, one time only successful. Rian was eating the lunch she had packed for herself outside. She was trying to avoid his glances, knowing her resolve would break the more she saw his saddened eyes. What she hadn't counted on was him finding her and all be demanding what her problem with him all of a sudden was.
To which her response had been along the lines of, "Shove it, bloodsucker." She didn't really remember what her phrasing had been, the shock and hurt that rippled throughout his expression tore her to pieces and she had instantly wanted to take the words back. She couldn't understand why she felt this way about something she has feared since she was young enough to remember her dreams. Then came the anger that has frightened her many times before. He quickly pinned her body to the wall of the school, some several feet away from where they had been. But for some reason she was not frightened this time, maybe it was because she truly believed he would not harm her, or maybe because she was just to stubborn to allow him to see her fear.
His eyes were once again an incredibly dark shade, one she couldn't quiet describe. She wanted nothing more to reach up and kiss him, standing here looking up at him it was very tempting. But she narrowed her eyes at him instead. "You were fine a couple days ago. Why do you hate me now?" Emmett's voice was almost a growl, this farther pissed her off.
Her anger now reaching the boiling point, she forgot to restrain herself. "Because I didn't think that was real. I never believed vampires were real, at least I was in the process of convincing myself they weren't. It was the only way I could keep living with the nightmares and hallucinations of you people draining me dry. The pain that came with your bites were driving me crazy."
Again confusion passed across his face. Shit, she had let her secret out, not that he would understand probably. "Hell, I'm still probably insane and none of this is real." Rian pushed her way by him, him letting her by.