A/N: This chapter is lengthier by far than any of my others. I just couldn't seem to get my thoughts out in a concise manner. There's some slow burn fluff towards the bottom of the chapter that won't matter a whole lot if you decide to skip over it, dear readers.
"Where did you find these? Seeing da Vinci's Vitruvian man- subtly altered of course- in each of these three distinct entities is astounding!" Elliot asked over the sound of Brenna 4.0 playing from the holotape once more.
"A place called Med-Tek Research. A guy by the name of MacCready took me out there. That patch was on a lab coat from one of the skeletons. Homeskillet was holding the holotape." I said smugly.
"Finally have one up on this pompous ass." I thought.
I never particularly liked being lectured to, which had made my college days difficult to say the least. It wasn't so much that McAllister was a douchebag or anything. It was the way he had presented his information, as though I were simply another part of a walking medical experiment and not a person. It was also that my mind was whirling with all the new information about these other versions of myself. More than anything, I wanted to get to the bottom of this. We needed some help. We needed Nick.
Oliver beat me to it.
"Time to hire a detective. Grab your gear, friends and other fine folks. We're off to Diamond City." he said.
Dan shook his head vehemently. He still began packing up our stuff, but the look on his face told me he had no intention of following us.
"Ghouls aren't exactly welcomed with open arms in Diamond City, and you know that, Ollie. We've got to come up with a better plan. I'm not leaving Brenna unless I absolutely have to." Dan said.
I looked up from where I was sitting while Dr. Amari bandaged my busted knuckles after admonishing me to not allow my temper to cause bodily harm to myself or those on my side.
"If we need to find another way to contact Nick, or some other way to go about finding the information we need, we can do it. I have faith in all of us." I said.
I wasn't about to be separated from Dan or any of my friends for that matter. Hell, not even Elliot. Doing this alone was now out of the question.
Everyone had shouldered their crap, and we left the Memory Den with the promise from Dr. Amari that she would continue going over her notes from Elliot's information. Hopefully, Lady Luck would be on our side, and the doc would find something more to go on. Elliot showered me with questions about the holotape until I snapped at him.
"Would you fucking shut up, McAllister? I'm trying to think, and you are pushing my limits. Don't make me put you in time out, mister!" I said, my irritation evident.
"Time out? Seriously? You sound like a mother." he laughed.
"She is a mom, you know. Better watch out. She'll spank us all." Melissa said.
"Dan might like that." Sandra added with a mischievous grin.
"You have children?" Elliot asked, sounding surprised.
"Did you miss her mention of them earlier?" Dan asked.
"I have three kids. My older boys, and my little girl. They were- are- fifteen, twelve, and five. They're good kids." I said, missing my babies.
"You're the only one of these women to have given birth, to the best of my knowledge. Maybe that's another clue." he replied.
"Anything that helps, I guess." I said sadly.
Remembering my kids knocked my mood down several notches. Everyone seemed to pick up on that, and they all quieted their conversations as we left.
In short order, we'd reached the gate leaving Goodneighbor. More than anything, I wanted a way to find Nick that didn't require my little team to be split up. We needed help putting the pieces together. As strange as this all seemed, maybe once we figured it out, I'd have a way home. Returning to Connecticut would mean leaving a piece of my heart back here, but that was no different than the missing piece from back in my world.
"Getting to Diamond City through the streets means dealing with big green uglies. Think you guys can handle it without needing hand holding?" Elliot asked.
"Uh huh. Just watch and learn, buddy boy." said Ollie.
Shifting my rucksack, I loaded the 10mm and strapped on its leather holster that Dan had acquired for me through his trades. I had only needed it as backup twice in my time in the Commonwealth. But I'd already learned that people who traveled with only one weapon were more likely to end up as paste smeared along the ground. Taking my anger and frustration out on whatever stood in my way seemed like a good idea at that moment.
Sandra's voice calling my name brought me back to reality and redirected me towards the shops at the gate. K-LEO was more than agreeable to offer us suggestions for all our weaponry needs. The Strykers kept their power armor, but the rest of us sold ours. We had no idea just how many caps we would need for this hunt we were on. Dan and I popped by to see Daisy, and buy whatever helpful items most folks traveled with that we might need.
"Awww look at the two of you! Looks like our Dan did win you over. You treat him well. About time he had his first love." she said smiling.
I swore I could see him blush at her words.
"Still cute as hell. But where'd she come up with 'first' love? I doubt that." I thought.
Dan purchased a variety of ammo, Stimpaks, and some RadAway for me, all while trying to avoid either my questioning looks, or Daisy's tickled one. In the blink of an eye, we were back with our friends.
It was time to make a Diamond City decision. For now, we would make our way through the back streets. Between the six of us, we'd come up with something more solid as we went. I gave my Helga a once over, making sure the rifle was in fighting condition. Locked, stocked, and loaded, we left Goodneighbor behind.
Mel and Ollie took point, despite Elliot's objections. He may have still considered himself Brotherhood deep down subconsciously, but that didn't hold water with us.
"Tough shit, sugarpie. We work well as a team already, and you need to find your place among us. Just watch our backs, and we'll do the same for you. Fuck us over at your own peril." Ollie told him, not bothering to suppress his over the top maniacal laughter.
We fanned out as best we could in the crowded and destroyed streets. Even though we moved as quietly and carefully as possible, the revolting mutant hounds caught wind of us. Dan and I aimed low to pick off the hounds. Mel leapt atop a billboard left leaning against a building, and shot at the first greenskin to show its ugly mug. Ollie went running into the fray, his new shotgun needing closer range to be as effective as we needed. Sandra pulled her sniper rifle in the blink of an eye, killing the skirmisher firing at Elliot from the scaffolding to our right. Watching her in action reminded me of the night she saved my hide against the same nasty creatures at Sanctuary.
An odd beeping sound in the distance was becoming closer by the second.
"What the hell is that now?!" I wondered.
"Suicider!" screamed Elliot.
"Brenna, get back by McAllister! Now!" yelled Dan.
Not questioning his sudden fear, I ran to the back of our group. I could see Ollie taking shots at a crazed mutant with a damn nuke cradled in its arm. Mel shouted at him to just run, and for once, he didn't mouth off and immediately complied with her command instead. That's when I knew this was some serious shit.
Mel yanked several frags from her belt, and heaved them with all her might at the suicider. Each grenade exploded in near proximity to the mutant in question. Although they had little impact to the suicider that we were all desperate to kill, they did take out three of the usual greenskins. So that was a bonus, right?
"Everybody, down!" McAllister hollered while finally pulling his gun.
Having learned the hard way to not question orders from each other in the midst of danger like this, we all ducked down or hid behind the nearest debris pile. Peering from behind the remaining hunks of wall, I watched helplessly as Elliot aimed, uttered a quick prayer, and shot his BOS-issued laser rifle directly at the mini nuke. The explosion shook the street, and warm bits of freshly disintegrated mutant rained down on us.
"Oh ick." Sandra said, trying to shake the gore out of her curly red hair.
"Nah, this stuff is yummy. The nuke cooks it to perfection every time." said Elliot, scooping some green bits from the ground near him.
We all gaped at him in shock.
"Joking? It's a damn joke." he said while tossing his handful in Dan's general direction.
Ollie groaned, and told him to come up with a better act. We resumed picking our way through the desolate remains of a once thriving city. Despite all the time spent in the wastes, it still left me with a sense of mourning. I never knew this world before nuclear devastation, but it must have been quite the place here in Massachusetts.
"So any ideas about what to do with our ghoulish friend here? Backdoor to Diamond City? A hooded cloak? Ooh. Or how about some truly righteous make-up?" Elliot asked.
"I haven't a clue. I remember the Fenway Park of my world, but I doubt that's much help here." I replied, ignoring his attempts at humor.
"There has been talk amongst the Minutemen who deal with the Commonwealth's ghoul communities. A lady up at that tarberry farm mentioned a hidden passage of sorts near the rear of the 'great green jewel'. We may be able to stay together." Mel told us.
"I've heard of it too, but from Hancock. He's the only one ballsy enough to simply strut into Diamond City, but he is the mayor's brother after all. John has apparently had some of his people smuggle the last remaining ghoul families out of the city and home to Goodneighbor in the past. " Dan shared before adding "That doesn't mean that I'm entirely comfortable with all of this."
"We should send some of us in the regular way. Guards will be less likely to question the arrival of two extra people than six." Ollie offered.
"Two? Great! I was worried that you'd all expect Dan to sneak in on his own." I said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"Why think that? Of course we assumed that you'd follow your lover." Elliot asked, mildly confused.
Sandra opened her mouth to answer with only Goddess knew what, but Dan pointed a finger of warning in her direction. She raised her eyebrow and made the zipping her mouth shut gesture that was apparently known worlds around.
"In the meantime, we can rent a few rooms at the Dugout Inn. Vadim has dealt with our odd requests before, so this is nothing new. We can wait it out until we ascertain that Valentine is indeed back in his office before all six of us head over for a nice chat." Ollie interrupted.
It was early evening by the time we approached Diamond City. Just barely within the guard stations, we parted ways with the other four members of our party. Mel gave us the best directions that she could to the passageway Dan and I would take. Sandra was digging around in her pack, and jogged to catch up with us. Her gift was a working flashlight. We had no idea what this secret entrance to the city would be like, and I couldn't have been happier about having some light for our trip. Dan and I both hugged her, then sent her on back to everyone else. We walked as casually as we could muster past the two guards watching over the rear of the walled city. On our right about 35 feet away from the guards was the landmark we'd been told to watch for.
"Clever. A blue radiation sign." Dan chuckled.
"I don't get it." I said, cocking my head this way and that to spot an entrance into the area the sign apparently marked.
"Love, ghouls are immune to radiation. And blue is not the color associated with radiation warnings. A safe way out for our kind signaled this way is subtle. It's…perfect actually." he replied with a touch of wonder in his voice.
"I trust you. Perfect it is then. Any ideas on how to continue this mad scavenger hunt?" I asked him.
"I'm not sure. Maybe feel along the wall for a hidden door? Or is that too cliché?" he inquired.
"Sounds as good a place to start with anyway, cliché or not. Let's feel up the Commonwealth's Great Green Jewel, shall we?" I said while placing my hands on opposite sides of the warning sign.
Dan stood and watched me run my hands over every bit of the wall that I could touch. His laughter grew until I shot him a dirty look.
"Having a good time over there?" I asked with a frown.
"Maybe. You do look pretty funny. Cute, but funny." he replied, a teasing sparkle dancing in his eyes.
I sauntered over to him, letting my hips sway as I went. His eyes were easily diverted where I wanted them. He was wearing a white button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and jeans. I wiped my dirty hands down the front of his shirt.
"Who's laughing now?" I said with a smirk.
He just shook his head in exasperation, but his smile said that he was as amused as I was.
"Ok, how about we keep walking past this sign and keep a lookout for others like it?" Dan suggested.
"Works for me." I responded, taking his hand in mine as we set off.
It wasn't more than another 20 feet when we spotted another blue sign, this time with a small arrow pointing first to the right, then sharply downward. Following the trail led us to what looked suspiciously like a service entrance to the former stadium.
"This has got to be it. I should've thought about these old corridors that contemporary people wouldn't even begin to remember." I said, feeling incredibly stupid.
"Hey, don't blame yourself, love. I could've just as easily tried to think of this as well." Dan said, trying to ease my anger at myself.
Shaking off my emotions, I felt my way along the industrial sliding metal door. Dan was kneeling, helping me find purchase on the bottom of the door. Finally, he was able to slip his fingers beneath it, and pull it up a few inches.
"Huh. It rolls up pretty easily from here. Should we go slowly in case it starts screeching?" he asked.
"Probably. I'll get the flashlight ready. We'll have to close it behind us." I said.
With daylight rapidly fading, we scooted under the partially opened door on our butts. Once I turned on the flashlight, Dan began carefully lowering the metal hatch that hid the escape tunnel quite well. Shining our light through the darkened hallway, we could easily see that we were correct about our assumptions. I could make out some faded posters, and delivery schedules stuck to the walls. We began walking deliberately down the corridor. Our footfalls sounded deafeningly loud despite the muffling effects of the thick dust and dirt that coated every possible surface. Not even a mere 15 feet into the passageway, the flashlight died.
"Motherfuck! Batteries aren't a thing anymore?" I asked in my frustration, slapping the thing to maybe turn it on.
I've always been afraid of the dark. Give me lamp, a night light, a fire, a candle, even a gods be damned flashlight. So long as it works.
I tossed the now dead lifeline into my rucksack, and waited for my other senses to adjust. I heard Dan's steady breathing come from near my left side.
"Just stay where you are, love. I'll find you." came his whisper in the blackness.
It was just moments later that I felt his fingertips graze over my stomach, provoking a fit of giggles from me. Rather than pull away from the contact, he skimmed his hand smoothly over my middle, around my waist, and down to my hip. Dan pulled me close to him, and I wrapped my arms around his waist.
"Gotcha." he whispered in my ear.
"More than you know." I told him.
He let go of me and took my hand. We recommenced our slow descent down the lightly inclined access strip. I couldn't imagine how terrified I'd be alone here without Dan to cling to. The fucking darkness, man. I must've been squeezing his hand harder than I intended because he wiggled out of my grasp, and held onto my waist instead to guide me forward. It was so quiet there in the escape tunnel. I opened my mouth to break the silence, but couldn't bring myself to speak.
I don't know what there is about being in absolute shadow that brings forth the need for people to talk, whether to themselves or any others available to hear their voice. Perhaps we feel our own mortality, or reflect upon a lifetime of mistakes and regrets more profoundly when the void of the grave surrounds us.
Dan exhaled heavily, and began his confession.
"Love, I haven't been entirely truthful with you. Maybe it's time you knew."
Sudden doubt hit me, I stopped walking, and prepared to listen to his words like a blow to my heart. Conversations that start like this never have a happy ending in my experience.
"Don't keep me hanging, sweetheart." I said softly into emptiness of the complete obscurity of the corridor.
"You… You're only the second woman I've ever kissed, let alone anything else. And the only one to return my affections." he said, the fear of rejection clear in both words and tone.
"I find that difficult to believe. You mean, since the Great War, right?" I asked, almost apprehensive of his response.
"I mean in my whole life. All these long years alone take a toll on a man." he whispered.
"So who was she?" I couldn't help but ask.
He chuckled deprecatingly.
"You've actually seen her before. In that photo from the company picnic the year before everything was destroyed in a matter of a few measly hours. She was sitting in the row in front of me. Her name was Felicia Roland. I thought I loved her more than life itself sometimes. Until…" he said.
"What? Until what?" I asked with bated breath.
"Until the Vault-Tec Christmas party that year. She was standing beneath the mistletoe, looking radiant. I thought that it was her signal to me. We'd chatted plenty of times at work." he huffed a disgusted noise and went on, "I walked up to Felicia, and she smiled. I kissed her. Not the way I kiss you. It was a chaste one, I suppose. She didn't slap my face or anything like that. She just…froze up. At that moment, I knew I'd made a terrible mistake. She hadn't cared for me in return." Dan finished.
I truly did not know what to say. The things he just told me… That meant he was a virgin. I blurted out the first thing to come to mind. You know, because I'm an idiot with no filter sometimes.
"So you've never… Did you ever… just want…sex? I mean, that explains so much." I stammered.
Dan barked a short laugh, and tried to move his arm away from me. I wouldn't let him. I suspect he felt that I wouldn't want him in my life anymore, knowing what I knew now.
"Sweetheart, it's ok. I don't expect you to run away from me, or hell, just fall into bed with me now that I know. In a way, it's taken a load off my mind. I thought you didn't want me beyond…" I trailed off, losing my train of thought.
I felt his roughly scarred hands tenderly stroke my neck and cheeks. He must have known just how much I loved it when he touched me like that. I melted into his hands, giving myself permission to abandon all thought and enjoy the moment. I couldn't stop the soft sigh of pleasure that burbled up from me, nor did I truly want to. Maybe if he knew more about how badly I wanted him, he would gain a little confidence in himself.
Dan kissed my cheek, then pulled away.
"What the hell? Things were just starting to get good!" I thought.
Despite Sandra's admonishment to let him take the lead in romance, I couldn't do it. I'd have to go ghoul myself were I to give him the time he needed.
"Once we're out of this tunnel and safely ensconced at the Dugout Inn, we need a few moments. Private moments." I said.
Dan's nervous titter echoed down the ramp. In response, we heard a rustle and a moan.
"Shit. Ferals. Be as quiet as you can, and get your 10mm ready. The rifle won't help here, before you protest, love." Dan whispered, his lips so close to my ear that I could feel the heat of him.
I nodded, and did as he said. By the movements next to me, I knew he had armed himself as well. I would've given anything to have night vision goggles at that moment.
What we got instead was a glowing one amidst the small circle of regular ferals becoming aware enough to find us.
"At least we can see now. Time to find out what we can do when it's just the two of us." I said, aiming for the glowing ghoul first.
"Take down that green bastard before the others!" Dan shouted.
We moved fluidly together. I crouched down on one knee and began shooting at the thing's legs, slowing it down. Dan stood behind and above me, popping the regular ferals in the face with more precision than I'd seen from him before. Each shot that found its way into a feral added some fire to the mix. Dan began reloading his pistol while I kept on shooting at the one source of light in the tunnel. With the typical zombies dispatched, we concentrated our fire on the glowing one. The thing had no legs yet kept pulling itself along towards us. Dan finished reloading, and got the ghoul square in its face.
As we were plunged back into darkness, I felt Dan begin to search through my rucksack for something. It must've been critically important because he hadn't even asked me to take it off.
"What are you looking for, sweetheart?" I asked while my shoulders were jerked around by his frantic need for whatever was hidden in the leather pack.
Dan shushed me and said "I know I packed them. I know it!"
I stopped his hands by tugging on the straps and dropping my rucksack to the floor. Suddenly I felt ill, and more tired than I ought to.
"Shit. You mean the Rad-x and RadAway, don't you?" I asked.
"Bingo, love. In this closed in space, the glowing one's radiation spike became more concentrated than you can handle. It doesn't bother me in the least bit, but I won't let you get sick." he explained.
I sat down in the dust and dirt while Dan continued his search. Moments later, he found them. He felt his way over to me, and his searching hands brushed against my breasts before settling on my upper arms. I couldn't help but find the humor in the situation.
"If it only takes a hefty dose of rads to get you to touch me, count me in!" I laughed.
"Only you, love, would find that humorous. Now hold still while I get the RadAway going, and you can pop a few of the Rad-x for good measure." he replied with a little chuckle.
A few minutes later, I was feeling back to my normal self. We continued our walk into Diamond City, and I kicked the feral corpses as we passed. The remaining distance wasn't as exciting as it was with the glowing one. A few molerats and radroaches later, we came upon a hatch that was obviously put in after the bombs dropped. It looked more like the doors to the basement of my house in Connecticut than what I'd expected to find in a former baseball stadium.
"Hey, hold up. I can actually see a bit of this exit. There's light coming through the cracks around it!" I said excitedly.
"You're right! Oh thank God. I don't think I could've taken much longer in that darkness. Let's get out of here." Dan said with relief.
With our pistols out just in case, I pushed up on the hatch experimentally. It wasn't locked, and we took that as a good sign. After we hit the point where it was opened about six inches, we took a peek at where we'd ended up.
"About time you two showed up. What were you doing down there, taking an educational tour or something?" Sandra said.
Sweet relief washed over me. The underground trek was over. Mel and Ollie helped Dan and I up and over the final abrupt step into what looked like a hotel room.
"Welcome to the Dugout. Time to assign rooms for the night." Elliot said, a little smirk on his face.
I barged past my crew, and sprinted out of the room. I passed a few confused patrons of the lounge, and threw open the door to the outside. I pulled in deep breaths of the fresh night air. I truly do not believe that I have ever felt so much relief at being outside.
The bright luminosity Diamond City's market caught my eye. Waves of déjà vu rolled over me, halting the breath in my lungs. Memories of my first night here in this world felt haunting in the realization that the woman who woke in Nick's office had died. I was hardened by my months in the Commonwealth; born anew in the nuclear wastes. I gazed at the city in wonder. I was now a citizen of this world unlike any other. It felt right, and that frightened me.