Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.

The three women had been talking for the last half hour when Nina heard steps approaching quickly.

"They're coming." She said looking directly at Alex who sighed.

"If you want to keep resting that's fine, honestly." Susan put a hand on the queen's shoulder in a reassuring way.

Decisions, decisions.

She was very tired, yes. But it was certainly refreshing to talk to her friends, it almost felt as if she had never left. It was so uncomplicated, she didn't feel judged, not for one moment. She even had thought about their reactions when she told them the truth, and the picture she got this time, in contrast to all the other times, was so good she felt like crying.

Maybe she was so scared to tell them everything and thought they would hate her simply because she had spent so much time apart from them that she couldn't really remember how caring and loving they truly were. Maybe they'd understand.

There was a soft knock on the door, but the two Pevensie queens didn't say a word until Alex nodded approvingly.

She owed not only them, but herself, to at least face them.

"Come on in." The oldest of the three said, moving her stare slightly from Alex to the door.

The wooden door slowly opened to reveal the three men that had left a little while ago. Alex noticed Edmund had changed his clothes. When they noticed that she was awake they rushed inside like little kids, making the lost queen smile.

Boys will be boys.

"It's good to see you guys too." Alexandra chuckled.

"How are you feeling?" Caspian beat Edmund to ask her that question.

"A little more rested, thank you. And I'm sorry for frightening you all before." She apologized looking at each of them briefly. Her eyes settled on Edmund, who was shamelessly looking right back at her.

He still couldn't believe his eyes. She was even more gorgeous than he allowed himself to remember.

"We're just glad you're okay Alex, and that you're back." Peter said in his usual brotherly voice.

"Oh dear, we haven't yet cared about food for you, I'll go get someone right away." Susan said worriedly and Alexandra couldn't stop herself from half smiling at her motherly instinct.

"It's okay Sue, I'm not hungry right now." She said.

"You haven't eaten since Aslan knows when, food is necessary." Edmund nodded at his sister to continue her way while he said these words.

"But…"Alexandra tried to protest.

Key word. Tried.

All Edmund had to do was look at her for her to shut her mouth.

"Fine, but I can go get it myself, I'm not physically impaired." Alex said. If she was going to comply, it would be in her own terms.

"Alright, I felt like a snack anyway." Lucy shrugged said and both, Alex and she smiled. She was too cute for her own good.

"Need any help getting up?" Nina asked eying Alex carefully, it was all for show, but the guys didn't know that.

"No no, I'm fine, thank you." She said getting Nina's intention and slowly stood up.

Soon enough, the whole group was walking towards the dining hall. They had crossed roads with a servant who Susan had sent directly to the kitchens to deliver the order to have food done for both, Alex and Lucy. Ignoring Alexandra's protests on how she could make her own food.

"Alex." Lucy called for the attention of the older queen. "I've been meaning to ask you…"

"Yes?" The brunette encouraged her.

"Where did you get your dress? It's beautiful!" She exclaimed smiling. But she got a different reaction than she expected.

Alexandra stopped walking and her breath seemed as if it was knocked out of her.

Lucy's smile vanished.

"Alex? Are you alright?"

But the brunette, who had managed until that very moment to maintain those thoughts that could bring her to the top of the world one moment and drag her to hell the next instant, buried in the back of her brain, didn't know what to say.

Ninarika could feel her mistress's thoughts spiral out of control. She was losing her composure.

"Alex. Don't. Not right now. Not in front of them." The tigress tried to calm her friend down. It seemed like the first meltdown she had but if it was going to be exactly as the ones she used to have back on earth when Edmund's name was even mentioned, then nothing good could come out of it.

Alexandra fought with the images that haunted her mercilessly, what had been a blissful day now it turned to be the biggest of her nightmares. But it was her secret, she couldn't let them know, they weren't ready, she wasn't ready. She had to compose herself and keep her façade up, it was for the best.

"I'm fine Lu, just a little out of breath." She lied through her teeth, trying to diminish the impact of her little episode. But none of them had any of it, they all had stopped and were intently looking at her. "I-I, my best friend on earth is a designer, he made this dress especially for me."

"He?" Caspian asked surprised, making Alex smile forcefully.

"Yes." She said and started walking again. All of them hot on her heels, but this time no one besides her.

"You know the way right?" She asked Nina mentally.

"Absolutely. I'm proud of you, you know?"

"You shouldn't be. I'm nothing but a liar." Alexandra said drily.

"Alex…"

"Let's just get this over with."

To say that the tigress was worried was an understatement. Alexandra was the strongest person she had ever met, she took the hardest decisions and stuck by them no matter what and the tigress admired that to no end. But she hated how it made her so miserable all the time. Even if she made an effort to hide it, for their sake, Nina was her best friend, she knew right away.

Edmund on his part, also knew something was very wrong with his wife. He hated feeling at a disadvantage to Ninarika. He should've been by her side all of these years, they had promised each other that. He thought and thought about it, but at the end of the day, he couldn't understand what could have possibly changed.

Finally they made it to the dining hall, in silence, they sat, and in very few seconds their food arrived, although it was needless to say that Alexandra didn't feel hungry anymore, not at all.

She managed to eat up a whole apple, after a lot of effort. But the images kept her too distracted, enough to not notice how all of their eyes were once more on her, as if she was an animal in a zoo. Not for a little while though.

After she realized how they were looking at her, pretty much with a question sign in their stares, the queen figured out a way to get out of eating anything else. Something that would definitely distract them all, or so she hoped.

Alexandra sighed and looked up, arching one of her eyebrows in a chastising way to the rest who were looking at her way too intently.

"This is going to be awkward no matter what we do, we might disagree, yell at each other and why not, end up with a few slaps. So why don't we start already?"

"Alex..." Susan tried to reassure her that it wouldn't be that way, but she didn't even know that herself, as none of them was certain of what would the explanation that came out of her mouth consist of.

"No Sue, just start asking." She insisted and reclined back a little, this would no doubt be a long night, she might as well get comfortable.

Peter signaled the servants to leave them alone immediately, whatever was they were going to find out on Alex's disappearance, it was meant for their ears only.

"Where have you been all this time?" He was the first to ask, knowing that his question was kind of dumb, as they knew that information already, he was just making sure.

"We were on Earth."

"How long has it been there?"

"About five years." She answered calmly and they looked at each other, quite surprised. Alex frowned, a question of her own arising. "How long has it been here since I…"

"Five years too." Caspian answered.

Now Alex was the one surprised. Nathan had mentioned something about five years, but she thought he had been talking about her time on earth, not time in general. She looked at Nina briefly and then back at them.

"How was Nathan involved in your return?" Caspian was up next.

"I'm not quite sure yet, but we believe that he used his magic mixed up with someone else's to bring us back."

"What was he looking for?" Susan inquired.

"We aren't sure." Alex said, looking at Nina briefly again.

'She's lying.' They all thought.

"How did you manage to leave?" Lucy asked innocently. "I thought only Aslan could make that happen."

Alex breathed in deeply, positioning her eyes on Edmund. He would be hurt by this next explanation, she knew it. As she also knew what question would follow up.

"My magic at that moment was on its strongest moment. I managed to open a door between this world and our own."

"Why?" Edmund asked and Alex closed her eyes tightly. This was exactly where the screaming would begin.

"I can't…I can't talk about it yet." She said surprising them all.

She was denying them the truth they deserved.

"Excuse me?" Edmund said.

"I'm sorry." She said looking at him and reflected in her eyes he could see her determination.

"I can't believe you!" He raised his voice. "We've been worried sick for you all this time, we at least deserve this!"

"I know you do." She sighed. "But I just can't do it."

"Why? What's so bad that you can't tell us? That you can't tell me?" He kept yelling.

Alexandra just shook her head.

"I'm truly sorry." She said getting up from her seat and attempting to walk away, although a part of her wanted to simply tell them everything, let them help her with the burden the secret weighed upon her.

"Don't walk away from this." She felt her wrist being grabbed from behind. Nina bared her teeth.

"Ed, please, I'm asking you for some space, try to understand." She tried to reason with him.

"NO! YOU try to understand." He said desperately. His other siblings felt awkward, this was their moment, and as much as their curiosity was eating them alive, they thought of leaving them to it, eventually deciding against it to stay and monitor Edmund's increasing temper. "You left me alone! After you promised we'd be together forever, you left, without telling me why. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I couldn't believe you were gone Alexandra!"

Edmund still didn't let go of her. So he immediately noticed how her hand turned into fists, her knuckles white.

"Edmund."

"You promised…How could you be so selfish?!" He raised his voice again.

"STOP!" She yelled now, fully turning around and prying his fingers off of her wrist. He was impressed with her strength, she had always been strong, but gentle. That day she wasn't.

"What? Did I hit a soft spot? Is it true?" He insisted, thinking he could crack her cover by applying a little pressure.

She was looking towards the floor, but when she heard his words her head snapped up, surprising them all when they saw all the tears running down her face.

"I said stop. You don't get to accuse me of anything Edmund Pevensie, as I already told you; you know nothing." She said sternly, pointing at him with her index finger, but the feature that most struck him was to see how her eyes changed its characteristic color while she spoke her sentence.

After that, and it was difficult to the Kings and Queens to say exactly when, Alexandra and Ninarika abandoned the room, leaving a petrified Edmund staring at the door.

"Ed! Are you alright?" Lucy ran to his side, but he still couldn't move from his spot. He was too shocked.

'Her eyes…' He thought, a million theories rushing around his brain. He was looking for a logical explanation for what he had just seen, but none seemed to fit properly. 'They were black...'