Chapter 19: As Time Goes On

Up until his death, Kuroba Toichi never scolded Kaito or discouraged him from expressing his fear when it came to what Kaito had begun to refer to as "finny things," "scaly monsters," and sometimes "f-f-f-f-f-fish." The word fish alone scared the boy and got caught in his throat whenever he tried to speak it, but Toichi didn't mind. Even as he taught Kaito the all-consuming importance of a Poker Face, he didn't reprimand him or show even the slightest sign of disappointment when fish were involved, and Kaito would try desperately for all of two seconds to hold onto his Poker Face before becoming too frightened and acting in hysterics.

How could he, after all, possibly be disappointed in his wonderful, amazing boy? Everything Kaito did, even when it was mildly irritating or bothersome, was endearing to the man. To most people, for that matter. Everyone who met him loved the boy, even if they claimed to hate him, and Toichi just knew that his son would reach all-new heights in life.

So, he allowed Kaito that one, single fault which made him human, and imperfect, and somehow all the more perfect because of that imperfection. And even when Toichi felt the urge on occasion to tell Kaito to keep it together and get over his fear, he would push it away and remind himself that it was his own mistakes which had caused his precious little Dove his trauma, and he would settle instead for just being glad that Kaito had come out as together and darling as he did. It could have turned out so much worse. Kaito could have been depressed, could have lost all faith in him and humanity and in himself. He could have been damaged beyond repair but, in the end, Toichi had been graced with a happy, optimistic, strong young man as his son...

Even if he was deathly afraid of fish...

And Toichi thanked his lucky stars every night as he peered up at the sky under the moonlight for allowing things to turn out well despite his horrible mistake. Chikage would often tell him that it wasn't his fault, but Toichi knew better. It was his job to protect the boy, yet he'd nearly failed him beyond reconciliation.

Besides, it was as he'd told Kaito, everyone had a fear. Something that could wipe even the most carefully crafted of Poker Faces off a person's features. For him, that fear was losing Kaito.

And by extension, because he loved Kaito so dearly and wanted to protect him at all costs, and because he had been there that night in that hellish RV, Toichi, too, was a bit scared of fish himself. He was thankful to see the decorations go, and glad he wouldn't have to eat the scaly animals anymore. He would never let it show, but that night had been enough to turn him off of fish forever too, so it was entirely understandable that his young child was scarred for life because of it.

Toichi would never know it, but Kaito was immensely grateful, years after his death and forevermore, that his father had been so understanding and accepting of him, and that he'd loved him so deeply despite his flaws.

A/N: Reviews appreciated~! One more little chapter to go! ;)