Sleeping Beetle

A Beetlejuice fan fiction by Lady Norbert

A/N: Anybody wondering where that bolt of purple lightning-ish magic came from? You'll find out soon. Many thanks to Ada for her help with this chapter - I knew something about the original draft didn't quite sit right with me, but she helped me understand why.

Chapter Seventeen: True Love Conquers All

Beetlejuice had, naturally, been listening very intently to everything said in the meeting between his brother, Vince, and the Fairy Godfather. He desperately wanted to get their attention, and tried his hardest - but he was less than shade at this point. He couldn't so much as ruffle the curtains or make Vince's hair stand on end. He was the Ghost of the Ghost With the Most, so to speak. It was almost as though there was no essence to him at all, and his personality had simply gone for a walk while leaving his body behind.

Compared to everything else that was going on, that idea wasn't as weird as he would have thought.

They were going to send help to Lyds. Good. He wanted to make his approval known, but again, his condition stifled him. Donny had been doing research, huh? Eh, little brothers had their uses, he supposed. He was totally in favor of burning down the castle, though of course not while she was in it.

He hovered behind Vince, reading over his shoulder as he penned the sonnet. "You don't know how to just say something straightforward, do you?" he muttered. "Oh well. Lyds'll probably appreciate the diversion - almost as much as she appreciates the food. Looks like you've got everything here under control, so I should probably get back and check on her."

He arrived at the castle in time to witness the attack on the little bird by the Vasile owl.

Ordinarily, he might not have cared very much. But he saw Lydia at the window, saw the bird struggling with all its might to get to her and, knowing her affinity for animals, very quickly put two and two together. She'd found herself a tiny ally, in the time since he disappeared, and Vasile was trying to take it away. That was all he really needed to know.

"You miserable fang-faced son of a bitch!" Beetlejuice didn't swear often - Lydia didn't like it much and besides, the show was rated G - but occasionally it was warranted. However, when the purple lightning-ish bolt of magic came screaming out of nowhere to knock Vasile off course, he was startled out of his ire by confusion.

"Where'd that come from? Huh." He glanced at Lydia's window, which was now shut tight against Vasile, and heaved a sigh of relief. "Okay. She's safe for the moment." Slipping past the shutters, he watched her tend to the bird's minor injuries, and in spite of circumstances he couldn't help feeling amused. "Look at you, all Avatar of Life. Next thing I know you'll be planting trees and making them grow or something. Hell, you already turned me into a complete sap years ago, that might be considered the same thing."

With food in her stomach and the recovering bird settled on the pillow where his own head belonged, Beetlejuice wasn't too surprised to see Lydia conk out quickly. "Babes probably hasn't slept right since I went missing... stupid plot."

He knew that remaining in the room with her was probably pointless; after all, it wasn't like he could protect her even if Vasile decided to force entry. Didn't matter, not really. At least he could see with his own eyes (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) that she was all right. "And besides," he mused, "it's not like I've got anything better to do."

Ripple dissolve to Neitherworld Network Studios...

"Is she out of the room yet?" Monitor asked, shaking his coffee cup at the nearest intern for a refill.

"Yes, sir! She seems to have put a spell on the pendant that was given to her by Lady Delphine in the last major story arc, and it's allowing her to bypass the castle's magic," reported an assistant. "She and the bird are making their way through corridors she couldn't previously access."

Monitor grumbled. "Once we knew Beetlejuice was missing, we should have ignored the prince's orders and set up cameras in her room. We missed crucial details!"

"Sir, the prince is watching the show. He would have known and you would have been subjected to worse than he gave you the last time."

"Don't remind me." He shuddered a little. "The man really can be creative when he wants to be. Keep a close watch!" He squinted at the screen. "What's she doing?"

"She's found the door to the tower where Beetlejuice is being held, by the look of things," said another subordinate. "She's trying to figure out how to get past it. It looks as though Beetlejuice's magic may have taken up residence inside her again."

"How does he do that?" Monitor wondered. "Why does he do that? Oh, never mind, she's doing something now - let me see it. And get some music going in the background, we need a theme song for these two."

"How about 'Another One Bites the Dust'?" someone suggested.

"You're fired. What's that song they played at their Outerworld wedding? Vince put it on Tumblr. Find it fast enough and you'll be rehired."

As they watched, Lydia transformed the offending door into a jar through the use of a particularly lame joke. "Yes, she's got Beetlejuice's reality warping abilities, all right. Also his terrible sense of humor." He peered intently at the images as Lydia collected the jar and, with her little bird friend still clinging to her shoulder, made her way gingerly up the winding staircase that led to where Beetlejuice was oblivious to the world.

"I'll never understand this girl," Monitor remarked offhandedly, studying Lydia's face. Her pale features took on a softness as she looked at her snoozing spouse, a sense of relief mingled with genuine affection. "No matter. The ratings are skyrocketing, everybody loves this pairing!"

With the wedding music swelling in the background, the enchanted black teardrop pendant half dragged her across the room, apparently struggling to get to the matching white pendant Beetlejuice wore beneath his shirt. Lydia leaned over the unconscious figure; when she did, the yang symbol dropped onto his chest, seemingly aligning itself through the fabric with the yin. "Take back what is yours," she told him, "and give back what is mine." So saying, she lowered her face to his, just as the song crescendoed.

I am not my own, declared the vocalist, loudly, for I have been made new. Please don't let me go; I desperately need you.

"Money shot!" Monitor declared. "You can practically hear the people squealing!"

After a lingering moment, Lydia drew back, watching anxiously for signs of movement. Slowly Beetlejuice blinked his eyes open; the amber glow they emanated seemed vaguely confused for an instant. He looked up and managed to focus on her troubled expression, and a wide grin split his features while the last notes of the song died away.

"It's showtime!"

A return ripple dissolve to the more interesting part of the story...

"Beej!"

In spite of everything, Beetlejuice couldn't help laughing as Lydia sort of draped herself on him for a minute. "Knew you'd find me eventually, Babes," he said, his arms going around her. "This castle couldn't keep you down for long."

Lydia drew back, smiling, and as he sat up she put a hand to his face. "I have to admit, I missed you."

"Of course you did." He leaned into her hand almost unthinkingly, eyes searching her face; as far as he could tell she wasn't too much the worse for wear. If his expression while he did so was maybe a little adoring, well, he didn't know anything about it. "I am your idiot, after all."

"Exactly." She laughed and pushed him gently away. "Come on, we've got a lot of work to do."

"I'm right behind you, Princess."

As she clattered down the spiral staircase, Beetlejuice hovered along beside her to make sure she didn't fall. The little bird was clinging to her shoulder still. "Yo, Feathers, you can fly, y'know."

"How did you know the name?" Lydia glanced at him in surprise.

"Weirdest nap I ever took, Babes. My dead body may have been snoozing away where you found it, but the rest of me was out and about, checking in on different things." He grinned. "Saw you pull that trick with the door. That joke was awful, I'm so proud."

"I learned from the worst. You know, part of me wants to be incredulous about you having seen it, but that's not even the weirdest thing to happen in the last twenty-four hours," she said after a thoughtful pause. "And if I think about it, I'm really not even surprised. It's supposed to be impossible to separate us completely."

"There is that. So anyway, Donny thinks the only way we can be free of the prince of darkness or whatever he's calling himself is to burn this place down with him in it."

"Oh, that's not hard at all," she deadpanned. "Though it does make sense, I guess. I think the first thing we'd better do, though, is tell Monitor's people to clear out."

"Yeah, Vince figured you'd take care of that."

Beetlejuice expected it to be no easy task, since they had no idea how many television employees were in the building in the first place. But all they really had to do was warn the first one they found, and the news spread like wildfire through the ancient halls - like the fire that actually would spread in the near future, in fact. Two insisted on remaining, to keep the audience in the loop regarding the situation, but they agreed to have the others clear out at once.

"There's a hitch in the plans, though, Lyds," he mused. "Donny said the fire has to start with Vasile. Meaning one of us has to be in the room to set it. I'm voting for me."

"Why?"

"Why does the fire have to start there or why am I voting for me?"

"Both."

"Well, I reckon the fire has to start with him because otherwise there's too much chance he could be warned somehow and escape."

Groaning, she pressed a pale hand to her eyes. "I probably should have figured that out on my own. I think all this time without food may have addled my brain."

Feathers offered a sympathetic peep, and Beetlejuice chuckled. "As for why me, there's that whole business of you still being alive. I get burned, well, it won't be the first time. You've seen me get fried more than once, y'know."

"All right, that's true. I don't want to leave you, though," she protested.

"I get that. But I'll feel about a million times better if you do. Not something I ever expected to say," he admitted.

"I know, Beej, but I -" Lydia's comment was cut short by the sound of the doorbell. "Who in the world would that be?" she wondered. "In the middle of the afternoon, no less?"

"Let's hope it's good news."

Nodding, Lydia followed him down into the main foyer of the castle, though he waved her back before he actually opened the door. Probably it was Vince or the Fairy Godfather, he reasoned, but there was no sense taking chances. Grasping the door's handle, he pulled it open slowly and peered out at the figure standing there.

"What the - you?"

Lydia, evidently surprised by his tone, peered around him and gasped in surprise. "Mr. Warlock? What are you doing here?"

"Don't listen to him. He's in league with the strigoi," Beetlejuice said through gritted teeth. "He's the one who helped Vasile knock me out!"

"I did," said Oscar. He was sort of wringing his hands, looking chagrined. "I was wrong. I'm here to make things right."

"Make things right? You've got to be joking," the poltergeist growled. "Give me one reason why we should trust you!"

"I stopped him from hurting the little bird worse than he would have."

Okay, Beetlejuice had to admit he didn't expect that. He traded a glance with the wife, and lowered his arm so she could see the warlock more clearly. "That was you?" she asked. "That purple bolt of magic?"

"Yes. I've been out in the forest beyond the castle for the last day or so, trying to figure out how I can maybe help," the warlock explained. "When I saw his owl form attacking your little friend, I had to do something." Even Beetlejuice, annoyed as he was, had to admit that the guy sounded pretty sincere. From his perch on Lydia's shoulder, Feathers twittered a few mournful notes.

"We need to burn down the castle," Lydia said grimly. "It's the only way we can stop him for good. He's been killing children in the mortal world - it's why we came here in the first place."

Oscar blanched. "I had no idea, I swear it." He put a hand to his chin, looking contemplative. "So you will need fire... obviously... and you'll need to set the fire in his room. But you'll also need to be able to get out of the castle before it's too late." He dropped his gaze to Lydia's hands, which still carried the jar that had once been a door. "My lady, I think I have an idea."