Author's Note: So I did honestly feel slightly bad at the glum ending of the last chapter, so I wrote this one as a peace offering. It's a filler chapter, and complete crack, but it does set the scene for a few important events in the future. So, without further ado, I give you chapter 13. (After the replies to the reviews, that is)
So, nothing you recognise is mine, I only own Louie, disclaimer, disclaimer, etc. Mistakes are aaalll mine though, however much I wish they weren't.
Theatre: No worrisome typos? *raises fist in triumph* I don't know whether to feel bad for making you cry or to feel flattered that my chapter was that moving xD Aw, anyway, I hope you like this chapter - it's very silly and a fun sort of thing. Enjoy!
Queen Martha Pond: Thanks for the review! :D Well, my dear, I suppose you're about to find out! You know, I was struggling on writing out the beginning of this chapter, and then I read your review and thought "that's it! I'll start off with the Louie vs Natasha bit!" So thanks for (unknowingly, but still) inspiring me and prompting me! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
AinsleyWright: Yeah, I know. I feel terribly wicked for putting them through that. Accept this chapter as my consolation. I hope you enjoy, and thanks for leaving a review!
LilliannaStone: Thanks for leaving a review! I hope this chapter makes up for all the strong feels and instead gives you either a bit of a grin or a slight eyeroll. I hope you enjoy!
Okayyyyy, GO!
Chapter 13
Darcy POV
Darcy yawned as Tony paced the length of the living space. For once, all the inhabitants of Stark Tower were present at an Avengers meeting. And they even had a guest. Darcy peered over her reading glasses at the redhead in question. Sebastian Rohmer, the kid that had managed to hack into and throw Stark Tower into havoc for a full hour. Darcy sighed. Was everybody that she associated with going to be super intelligent, or strong or magical?
For what might be the first time Darcy had ever seen, Tony seemed excruciatingly annoyed.
"So you're the little punk that attempted to assassinate my AI."
Darcy could've sworn Seb whimpered. Next to her, on the sofa, Steve shifted. Darcy beat the warm, fuzzy feelings she got when his hand brushed hers and stayed there. She tasered those feelings and locked them in a vault in her head. She shot them into oblivion and watched them bleed out in a bottomless pool. She butchered them and sold them to the evil Yoda she knew was lurking inside her cranium. She-
Steve's fingers brushed against hers once more and it was all she could do to stop herself from melting into a little puddle of goo. She tilted her head and peeked at him from the corner of her eye. He was staring at Tony advancing murderously on Seb but his lips twitched ever so slightly. Darcy went scarlet. Steve Rogers was playing around at an all important meeting? Something was very not right. She bit down a smile and let her eyes wander to get her mind off the Captain.
There was Pepper, wondering whether or not to interfere in Tony's slow destruction of the poor, foolish IT prodigy. Thor, Clint and Jane were huddled together along with Natasha, watching the scene unfold with interest. Bruce, like Pepper, seemed to be waiting to jump in and rescue Sebastian if need arose. Louie bit her lip worriedly, eyes flickering to Natasha and Loki repeatedly. As for Loki, Darcy immediately noticed the hostile vibes coming off him. She had been at the receiving end of many, but now, they were directed at Louie.
Alarm bells went off in Darcy's head. If Louie couldn't get along with Loki, nobody could, and if Loki was mad at Louie... Darcy shivered at the thought of the dark days ahead.
Tony glared at Sebastian.
"Tony," said Pepper in a placating tone, "maybe you should ask him why he did it before you do anything rash." Seb seemed to be waiting for an opening to speak so he burst out with his story. Tony's face went from outraged, to puzzled, to worried. After a few well chosen death threats, Seb was carted off to SHIELD headquarters with Clint.
Tony spun around to face them all.
"Someone is trying to break into our systems," he announced angrily, like a little boy might complain about someone cheating in a game of tag.
"Yes, we got that bit," said Steve dryly. "The question is, why?"
"I don't know," Tony declared, "and I don't like not knowing."
"Well," said Bruce, "it could be one of a number of reasons. We're probably on this planet's underworld's top wanted list for one. And Tony's tech is vastly advanced so any competitor would die to break through for information. Who knows?"
"Maybe if we can find out what they wanted to take," said Jane, "we'll know what they were after?" Tony nodded in agreement.
"Okay, so what do we do now?" asked Steve.
"If Sebastian was telling the truth, then all he did was break down firewalls. These mystery men must've used those few seconds to download something. I'm going to reboot this Tower and run through every single smidgeon of data myself. Anyone who cares to join me can do so. I need all the hands I can get until I finish running scans on Jarvis." Bruce nodded. Obviously he would be helping. Darcy put her hand up.
"I volunteer."
"And me," said Jane.
"I'm in, obviously," said Natasha. Louie nodded.
"Tell us what you need us to do."
Darcy sighed as she scanned through the binary digits one by one, feeding them into the computer at a glacial pace. She had thought Tony was kidding about running through the data inch by excruciating inch but she had been mistaken. Tony was keeping his word firmly.
"Good job, guys," said Steve encouragingly, "you're about an eighth of the way through." Four angry women sent death glares his way and he blanched.
"If Jarvis was back online this would be done faster," sighed Darcy.
"Tony said he was almost through checking him completely," said Jane, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"That was over two hours ago." Natasha groaned and rolled her shoulders before standing up.
"I say we take a lunch break," she declared. "You guys okay with pizza?"
"I'll come help you order," said Louie, also standing. Natasha eyed her coolly.
"Alright." Darcy watched as Louie paled ever so slightly and left the room with Nat.
"Did something happen last night?" she asked, thumbing the door. Steve, Jane and Bruce looked up, confused.
"Not that I know of," said Bruce frowning, "why do you ask?" Darcy blinked.
"What, none of you noticed the return of the Ice King and that little tiff going on there?" When all she got were three bemused expressions of befuddlement, she sighed in defeat. Remember that thing about being surrounded by super-intelligent people? Yeah, never mind.
"I'll go help out," she said, standing and stretching. She'd make sure nobody (read, Louie) died.
She headed for the kitchen, ears pricked for any sign of a fight. It was worse than Darcy had expected. Louie was in one corner of the kitchen, fiddling with a pamphlet from the pizza place while Natasha was stalking up and down, trying to order.
"Large, yes- Yeah, that's right, I said twenty - No you're not mishearing, I want twenty - Everything, give me everything and extra cheese and - what? – yes, I said twenty!" Under the pretense of getting a drink, Darcy eyed Louie. She was biting her lip nervously.
"Natasha?" she said quietly. Darcy immediately opened the fridge door and hid behind it, peering over the edge.
"Mm?" said Natasha shortly, punching a button on the phone.
"Are you mad at me?"
Natasha crossed her arms and eyed Louie. She looked rather ill but ploughed on.
"I am sorry, you know," she said earnestly, "I was just making up an excuse to uh, fend Loki away, I didn't mean to –" Natasha advanced on her, poker face in place. Louie gulped.
"It was a shitty excuse," said Natasha coldly.
"Yes and I swear I'll come up with something better next time and I'm so sorry, and oh my God, if you're going to decapitate me or something, please make it quick." Louie squeezed her eyes shut. Darcy ducked under the cover of the fridge as Natasha took in a deep breath and-
Giggled?
Darcy's head shot back up.
Natasha had her hand over her mouth, her shoulders shaking silently. Louie gaped and exchanged a wide eyed glance with Darcy.
Run, she mouthed to Louie, run now.
"You're - you're not mad?" Louie asked weakly. Natasha shook her head, her eyes swimming with tears.
"Oh my God," she gasped, "oh my God, your face."
"Jesus Christ," muttered Darcy, walking over. Natasha was now double over, her husky laughs making her whole figure shake.
"Should I be scared?" Louie whispered.
"I don't know about you, but I'm terrified," replied Darcy, staring at the redhead. Natasha fanned herself, and cleared her throat.
"I wasn't kidding, it was a shitty excuse," she said sternly and then shrugged, "but hey, you didn't mean anything by it. Besides, I've actually kissed Steve on a mission and Clint understood. An agent's got to do what and agent's got to do."
That was not jealousy coursing fiercely through Darcy's veins. It was not. Louie let out a breath and her shoulders lifted.
"Thank God for that, then. Seriously though, it won't happen again." Natasha waved her hand cheerfully.
"If it does I'll go make out with Loki." Darcy let out a cackle of delight.
"You see!" she said triumphantly, pointing at Louie, "I'm not the only one who picked up on that!" Louie went beet red.
"There is nothing happening between me and Loki," she said firmly, before her expression turned glum. "Especially not now."
"Ah," said Darcy sympathetically, and imitated a really bad British accent "'Ad a bit of a domestic, did we, luv?"
"Yeah, you could say that," she grumbled, dropping into one of the sofas. Natasha sat on one of the high stools at the bar and began tipping herself onto two legs.
"So, tell us girls what happened," she said, stretching out her arms and keeping her balance. It was then that Darcy had the most fabulous, magical, utterly brilliant idea.
"No, wait!" she shouted, diving across the sofa and slamming a hand across Louie's mouth. Ignoring her muffled protests Darcy grinned, her eyes shining.
"Let's have a girl's night out. You can tell us all about it then." Louie's arms worked like windmills and her muffled words got louder. Darcy rolled her eyes, knowing what she was going to say.
"We'll be done with this system reboot thing by tonight - once Jarvis is back online, he'll have it done in a flash. I can't believe we haven't done this before - it'll be a great team bonding exercise!" Louie wrenched her face free.
"But-"
"Natasha, what do you think?" interrupted Darcy. "What do you say to a night of drinks and dancing, just us girls?" Natasha shrugged and smiled.
"Sounds like fun," she said. Louie's jaw hit the floor.
"Who are you and what have you done with Natasha Romanoff?" she demanded. Natasha simply winked.
Louie POV
I stared at my wardrobe with a sigh. Okay. Dress to impress. Not that I had particular dressing skills that were commendable. I eyed the scruffy tank top and shorts I wore. On the bathroom sink, my hair iron beeped as it signaled being hot enough.
"Oh my God," I muttered, putting my hands on my hips. If anyone walked in now, they'd have a heart attack. I stood wearing nothing but my underwear among discarded t-shirts, jeans and even a few sweaters.
"Drinks and dancing," I said aloud. Drinks and dancing. I was panicking now.
"Louie." I shrieked and dove onto the bed, burying myself under the covers.
"Don't you know to knock?" I cried, my face aflame. Darcy just laughed.
"Get out here," she said. I firmly wrapped myself in a sheet and rose.
"I thought you might be having a fashion crisis so I got you something." Darcy smirked and held out a dress.
A dress.
"It's a dress," I said with distaste.
"And the prize goes to the girl in the sheet," said Darcy rolling her eyes. "Of course it's a dress." She gestured behind her. "We're all wearing one."
"All- all of you?" Over Darcy's shoulder I could see Natasha, Jane and Pepper approaching.
"How the hell did you manage to pry Pepper away from the company?" I asked, surprised. Darcy winked.
"You have your skill set, I have mine."
"Remind me to always find you when I want something done," I mumbled.
I eyed the dress again. It was a simple, lacy thing, a navy blue in colour, pulled in at the waist and falling to just above my knees.
"I don't do dresses," I said, nose still wrinkled in distaste.
"But you wore one in Asgard," said Jane. "Thor told me."
"Yeah, well, that was different." I folded my arms, biting my lip. In truth, it wasn't the dress. It was the women that had now invaded my room. Jane wore a flowy turquoise dress, showing off her petite frame, her hair loose and pale lipstick on her lips. Pepper had traded her customary white suit for a bold red dress, with matching lipstick. Natasha had gone for a shimmery gold dress, clashing magnificently with her fiery red hair and cut daringly high at the bottom. Darcy had opted for a black dress, cinched at the waist, with dramatic cat-eyes eyeliner for flair and her hair done in waves that rivaled mine. They all looked like they'd walked straight off a magazine. I gulped, suddenly wishing I was staying back, lolling around in a t-shirt in the labs.
"It's not going to eat you, Louie," said Darcy patiently. "Just put it on and give us a twirl."
"We're not leaving until you do," said Jane. She gave me a sweet smile and batted her eyes. I slumped in defeat, snatching the dress out of Darcy's hand and stalking into the bathroom. Stupid doe eyes. Thankful I had thought to shave my legs earlier that morning, I pulled on the dress.
"I suppose it will do," I said to myself. Taking a deep breath, I took the hair iron into my hand.
Darcy POV
Darcy hummed as she flung open Louie's wardrobe.
"Should you be doing that?" asked Jane.
"Maybe not. But - Aha!" she said, holding a pair of black stilettos out in victory. Darcy knocked on the bathroom door and passed the shoes in through the minuscule crack that Louie opened the door to show. A few minutes later, the door opened wider and Louie stepped out. Darcy whistled in approval.
"You look lovely, Louie," beamed Pepper.
Louie ducked her head shyly and gave then a twirl. Darcy proudly gave herself a pat on the back for impeccable taste. The dress clung to Louie like it was made for her. Her wavy waist length hair seemed even longer because she'd straightened it out and she'd put on some light makeup with a dark red on her lips. The high heels gave her hourglass figure length and made her stand up straighter.
"Thank you for the dress," Louie said softly. Darcy winked.
"No problem, honey. Now let's get out of here before Happy bursts in wondering if we we're kidnapped from our own rooms."
"That man," sighed Pepper, shaking her head.
"I think he's a sweetheart for taking his job so seriously," declared Jane.
"Yeah, but if we don't hurry, sweetheart or no, whoever bursts in will be kicked in the nuts by yours truly," said Natasha.
"Delicate," winced Darcy, "real delicate."
"I don't like surprises," shrugged Natasha.
They all trooped out of the room, chattering loud enough for Dummy and his apprentices (no smarter) to look up in interest. And they were down in the labs. They entered the living room area to wait for Happy and his entourage to appear. Tony and Bruce were lounging in the area, in an oh-so casual manner, making Darcy fairly sure this was an ambush of sorts.
"Excuse me," said Tony, "just where do you think you're going?" Pepper rolled her eyes.
"We told you we were going out."
"Yeah, well, I changed my mind. I'll throw you a party in my room instead." He added the last bit in a low, sultry voice, eyeing Pepper. Pepper blushed and shoved him.
"Stop that," she said, "you know we're going to go anyway."
"So let us come with you," he said, indicating himself and Bruce, who was staring at his phone screen with a slight smile on his face. Tony rolled his eyes at him.
"Useless wingman," he muttered, "utterly useless."
"No," declared Darcy, waving her finger threateningly, "it's girls' night Tony; we're going to have a couple of shots and discuss in detail many feminine things - things not good for Jarvis' delicate ears."
"Thank you for your concern, Miss Lewis" said the AI dryly, "I believe I might temporarily malfunction if I were to hear your fascinating conversations ever again." Darcy scowled at the ceiling.
"Hey Tony, your computer's broken again."
"No, my sarcasm levels are just at 90 percent," replied Jarvis smartly.
"Anyway," put in Jane hastily, "we did promise to stick to the high end, er, safer clubs Tony. Don't worry. We'll be fine."
"Yes, you did. And you're staying in Happy's sight. And you're all keeping your comms on you. And you're not to even breathe in the direction of other men-" Natasha drew herself up to her full, menacing height.
"I'm sorry; could you run those alpha male rules by me one more time?" she said, smiling venomously. Tony shut up, eyeing her as if she was a particularly dangerous animal. Pepper smirked when Tony pouted in her direction.
"Don't look at me, you asked for it."
"Just don't do anything reckless, okay?" sighed Tony, rubbing his eyes, "I'll have hell to answer for from the others if anything happens to any of you."
"We won't, Dad, we promise," said Louie cheerily as the elevator dinged, announcing the arrival of Happy, "and we promise to be home before bedtime."
"Yeah, you better," he said to their retreating backs, raising his voice as the doors slid shut, "and don't bring back any idiots, I don't think Loki would appreci-" The rest was cut off but everyone in the elevator got the gist. Louie looked at the ceiling and started humming tunelessly while Natasha and Darcy exchanged knowing glances. Everyone shifted around little to allow breathing space for four bodyguards and five women.
On one before the last floor of the Avengers Initiative, the door slid open. Louie froze, a slow pink creeping up her face. Darcy discreetly leaned against the buttons, holding the door open and allowing Loki to get an eyeful of Louie in her dress. Natasha caught her eye and grinned.
"So, Loki, give us an Asgardian's opinion. Does Louie look nice?" she asked sweetly.
"Oh yeah, do tell us," Darcy added wickedly, "she keeps thinking she doesn't." Loki blinked, but his eyes never left Louie.
"I think I'll take the stairs," he said quietly.
"What, doesn't she look nice?" asked Jane, looking offended. "Louie threw her a betrayed glare. Loki sighed angrily.
"You all look lovely," he said tonelessly. "Now if you would excuse me, I have some reading to catch up on."
"But what about Louie?" Pepper pressed.
"Et tu, Pepper?" muttered Louie through gritted teeth.
"Mai, bien sur," she hissed back, grinning. Loki clearly realised he wouldn't be allowed to leave without giving what the women deemed a sufficient answer so he looked Louie over once, quickly.
"It's a becoming dress. But your hair is better in its waves." With that, he gave her one last look turned on his heel and walked away.
The elevator doors shut and Darcy stared firmly at the door, refusing to make eye contact in case the giggles in her stomach bubbled over. There was a split second of silence.
"I hate all of you," said Louie.
And with that, the four miscreants burst out laughing.
Louie POV
The club was loud. Really, really loud. The kind of loud I knew would give me a headache in ten minutes.
"This is your idea of places for conversation?" I shouted to be heard.
"Yes," yelled Darcy, "so tell us, what gives?" A waiter bore down on us a tray of drinks in hand. Happy ushered us to the back of the club, where he kicked a couple of youngsters necking out of a private booth. Deeming it safe enough, he all but flung us inside and shut the door.
"Is he still sweet?" Natasha asked Jane sarcastically.
Jane was saved the need to answer when Darcy sat me down and pressed a shot into my hand.
"Tell us everything," she said sagely.
Three hours in, nobody was dancing and everybody was drinking.
"And then, he kissed me!" beamed Pepper , blushing prettily. As standard protocol when one gets their first kiss from their one true love, the ladies oohed and aahhed.
"I wish Steve would kiss me," sighed Darcy, dipping a French fry into her ice cream.
"I can tell you firsthand, he's not very good," said Natasha blandly, before winking, "he needs someone to practice with." I sipped my colourful drink.
"So, how good a kisser is Thor?" leered Pepper. Jane laughed openly. Vodka really did loosen tongues. The normally quiet woman was now grinning away.
"Very good," she admitted. My mind immediately flashed to another Asgardian. I'll bet anything he was very good too, being Silvertongue and all.
"Uh oh," laughed Darcy, "someone else is thinking about kissing certain demigods."
"How would you know?" I said haughtily.
"You get that dreamy look in your eyes," said Pepper, making a flamboyant hand gesture to explain. Jane leaned towards me.
"It's in your eyes," she whispered loudly, "you have v-e-e-ry beautiful eyes."
"I think that's enough shots for you," said Pepper, sliding her glass out of reach. Jane stared sadly at the empty air where her drink had been.
"I think that's enough shots for all of us," chuckled Natasha. Happy seemed to be waiting for a cue to take away the booze because in a flash, it was gone. Five different sighs emitted from us as we all leaned back in our chairs. For the first time, I was completely comfortable around these powerful women.
"I think," Pepper declared happily after a moment of silence, "we're all going to be very good friends." Darcy nodded solemnly, and raised her ice cream in a toast.
"To the hangover we'll have tomorrow," she proclaimed. There was a round of laughter as a couple of fries, a napkin, a straw and a spoon were raised to echo her toast loudly.
A/N: I told you it was complete crack. And yeah, I guess I wanted to also point out the face that the Marvel women are utterly gorgeous and Lord, who wouldn't find the prospect of being seen in the evenings with them daunting? I know I would. Beyond that, really they all behaved like children because, well, I'm the author and I say they can.
(Can you imagine the fate of the Marvelverse if it was in my hands?)
Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks so much to all those who have followed and favourited the story - it's lovely to see so many people interested in it :) I'm truly so glad.
25/07/2015: BIG GRAMMAR EDIT
Until next time, lovelies,
Much love,
xo