This is a reworking of this chapter, hopefully it is better now.

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Chapter 10: Alone

3 weeks later, winter 1800

They could still hear her screams, even outside they couldn't escape the sound. They sat on the step, the light from the window making patterns on the snow. Even wrapped in coats and shawls the cold still managed to penetrate to the bone.

But it didn't matter how cold it became, they weren't going to go back inside. No one had made them leave. But one by one the eight of them had gathered outside the door, trying to distance themselves from the traumatic sounds of their mother's pain. It had been two days! And still her cry's echoed through the small cottage.

Jacqueline didn't know how long it had taken before someone sent for the doctor. She just remembered the old gentleman dressed in black hurrying up the stairs and commanding that none of the children were to follow. That had been forever ago, and now darkness gathered as the second day drew to a close.

Jacqueline looked up at the clear night's sky. Silver stars winked at her, holding their secrets. It was her birthday today…she was 13 years old…but right now she felt no older than a baby who wants her mother to hold her close, and chase away her fears.

She shifted Louis who sat on her lap. Wrapping the shawl tighter around the two of them trying to keep the cold away. Maurice moved closer as well and she put an arm protectively around him. As Maurice came near so did the others. First the twins, then Pierre, Jacques, and finally her greatest rival little Gaston, all binding in their temporary trues. Because right now, they needed each other.

Belle

She was so cold…She couldn't stop shaking.

So tired…

All she wanted was to sleep. She could feel something pulling her down, lulling her to sleep, calling her to rest.

The Doctor stood over her with a sad worried look on his face.

Belle watched as he tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come.

It didn't matter, she already knew. She could feel herself slipping away.

Oddly enough she wished she could offer the doctor some words of comfort. Tell him not to worry, but she couldn't. Because she was afraid, so very afraid. Not so much for herself, but for her children.

How could she leave them?

They needed her!

She thought of her boys.

Gaston and Jacques would fare the best, they held the most of her husband's love…much more than she ever had. But she worried that their characters would become cruel under their father's influence. Already they showed a lack of compassion that broke her heart.

And Albert and Henri, her little jokesters. Would they ever hear a kind word about her again?

Pierre with his shy demeanor, would he be able to keep up with the overpowering personalities of his brothers and father, or would he be trampled underfoot?

Maurice, her golden little boy. The sweetest of her children. How long would his sensitive nature last without encouragement before hardening to stone?

And Louis, he was just a baby. Barely three years old. Would he even remember her? For how long would he call her name, holding up his plump little arms to be held before he wouldn't even remember who he had been calling for?

Please God don't let me die, they need me!

A wave of nausea crashed down on her making the room swim and her shallow breathing even more labored. Her very skin felt on fire! And the pain ripping through her once again caused her to scream out.

Make it stop…please, let me rest…

As the pain subsided it was replaced by a cold numbness that was all consuming. She felt her eye lids grow heavy and the feeling slowly began to leave her limbs.

While the room seemed to grow farther away and darkness creeped over her, her thoughts turned to her only daughter…Jacqueline.

Tears leaked from her eyes as she thought of her. Jacqueline with her stubborn unyielding nature and fragile heart…what would become of her?

Of all her children Jacqueline needed her most. Gaston had no love for their daughter, she would be put upon and beaten down. Who would love her girl once she was gone?

Jacqueline needed someone, to take care of her and show her the value within herself. But mostly Jacqueline needed to be loved…who would love her now.

She wanted more than anything to welcome the darkness's embrace…all she wanted was rest. With the last of her strength Belle moved her lips in a silent prayer.

Dear God, please, send someone to take care of Jacqueline…

With her last request still on her cold lips Belle rested.

Outside

Silence fell, and oddly enough it was louder than the screams had ever been. No one moved, they were frozen. Not by the cold but by crippling uncertainty. The front door opened and a woman exited. Hurrying into the darkness without ever acknowledging them. Jacqueline just managed to glimpse the small bundle that lay unmoving in her arms.

The door swung on its hinges but didn't close. A new shadow joined, that of papa's pacing figure reflected on the snow. Jacqueline looked inside. Her father was pacing before the fireplace, his large boots causing mama's rocking chair to shake from the vibrations.

"I'll be back" she said as she removed Louis from her lap. She entered the house on silent feet, which wasn't difficult since she only had some homemade variation of moccasins for shoes. Standing in the shadows she watched as her normally confidant and fear inspiring father paced. She had never seen him like this. When the others were born, if he was even present he never once showed anything akin to worry…not so this time.

The floor boards creaked overhead as the black cloaked doctor slowly made his dissent…bag in hand. Still unaware of his daughter's presence Gaston turned to the stooped old man. Jacqueline couldn't make out everything that was said. But the reactions were glaringly visible.

"Well?" Gaston asked impatiently

"I warned you…I warned you!" the doctor accused

"What are you babbling about? Belle is a strong woman!"

"NO! She was….but not for a long time…"

Gaston took a step back from the man, like he was suddenly afraid of him.

"What are you saying?"

The doctor didn't speak. He just stared at him...shaking his head sadly he looked at the floor. Taking a deep breath he turned and looked Jacqueline straight in the eye.

Gaston still didn't see who he was looking at for the girl was concealed in shadows. Only her violent purple eyes could be seen in the firelight.

Jacqueline felt a shiver go up her spine as the grey eyes bore in to hers. It was as if the doctor was trying to apologize to her.

He turned back to her father…

"What I am saying Monsieur, is that your wife is dead."

Placing his cap on his head the old physician walked out the door and into the night.

Gaston stood still, unable to move. Then slowly he sank into his chair, blue eyes fixed on the floor. Finally burring his face in his hands.

Jacqueline felt a great weight settle on her chest, making it hard to breathe. Her heart constricted with an unnamed fear. Tears streamed down her cheeks as her mind screamed the question…while none listened.

No…it can't be…NO!

With fear pounding throughout her body she ran towards the stairs.

"JACQUELINE STOP!"

She ignored the command, running up the stairs as fast as she could. They seemed to multiply in front of her…keeping her down…keeping her away. Clawing at the bannister she pulled herself to the top! And stopped cold…in front of her was the door…she didn't want to open it, yet more than anything she wished for it to open.

With a shaking hand she gave a slight push and the door creaked open. Inside was pure darkness save one candle that rested on a table beside the bed…..Clenching her hands into fists she attempted to stop their shaking…slowly she entered….and walked to the bed…

There she lay, pale and motionless…she looked asleep, and for the first time in her memory Jacqueline thought her mother looked at peace.

Taking a hand she moved a strand of brown hair from her mother's brow and felt just how cold her skin was.

With tears running down her cheeks, she spoke.

"Mama?"

Taking her cold hand in her warm one she held it tight.

"Please…you need to wake up…P-Please mama…You have to wake up… the boys need you, Louis, Maurice, Pierre...We all need you…I need you!"

Tears dropped on the faded quilt.

"Please…mama…you can't leave me!"

"You can't l-leave me here!...Please come back! COME BACK!"

Bringing her mama's hand to her face she kissed it as hot tears rolled down her fingers.

God, bring her back!...Please, please, bring her back…... I need her…mama, don't leave me alone…I love you…please…please!…don't leave me…mama… please…