Lisbon listened to his breathing. She could tell from the past experiences when he was indeed sleeping and when he only pretended to. This time she was sure he was out. His breathing was calm and deep. She dared to take a look at him. The expression on his face almost made her heart she was able to see him without any act he´s been putting. And she liked what she saw. The tranquility he lacked when he was awake, his wrinkles almost gone, his mouth only partly open...yeah he was beautiful when he slept like was one thing Lisbon needed to take care both need some time off work. She sat up and with the biggest effort not to wake her sleeping guest she stood up from the bed and took her phone with her.
Exiting the room, she trailed into her guest room and closed the door behind her. Quietly she sat on the quest bed and dialed some number on her phone. It rang three times before the caller answered.
„Lisbon, what's up? "
„Boss, sorry to wake you in the middle of the night but I was hoping for a favor.
„What do you need? "
Lisbon wondered how to ask for some time off for her and Jane. Every man and woman at work was needed, so it was not highly in her favor.
„I was thinking about me and Jane to have some time off. "
There was silence on the other line for a few seconds.
""You know Lisbon this is not the perfect timing for such a thing. We need every resource we can get and... "
Lisbon cut her off.
„I know that boss and I wouldn´t ask for anything like that if I didn´t have a proper reason. "
„And what is that reason? "
That is a good question. Because of Jane having nightmares? Because of him passing out in his crap motel room and considering it a good night sleep? Because of her being so worried about him?
„It´s Jane. He needs it. And I don´t think it is a good idea to leave him all on his own, at least not right now. "
„That bad, huh? "
„Yeah. "
„Well Lisbon, it is a good thing you guys caught Red John because otherwise I wouldn´t be able to give you any time off in time like this. But considering your and Jane´s emotional state I am obliged to tell you to take two weeks paid leave. Then I expect both of you to come back to work, understood? "
"Yes boss, understood. "
„Good, now get some sleep."
„You too, and Madeleine? "
„Yes Teresa? "
„Thank you. "
„Pleasure. "
With that she hung up.
So two weeks paid leave. That is good. It is not much but she was hoping for far less. She headed back to bed. Opening the door she heard noise from her bedroom. Like somebody was whining. She hurried in. Jane was trashing on bed again. Lisbon run to him. Knowing that shaking him wont do the thing she slapped him on his cheek.
„Jane, wake up..."another slap, „C´mon wake up Patrick..."
His name worked, he opened his eyes, got up and run right into the bathroom. Not knowing what to do, Lisbon stood silently until she heard retching sounds. She followed him. He was very much awake now, leaning over her toilet, coughing and shaking.
"Jane...? "
He did not respond. He did not know how. The things he dreamt about were still alive in his head. Just thinking about them made him sick again. He flushed the toilet, and made a move to the sink. He needed to wash his mouth a little. He was aware that Lisbon is still there, watching him, but his mind just gave up. He splashed his face with cold water, tasting it in the process.
Lisbon moved closer to him, putting a hand on his back. He flinched a little.
„Let´s go to bed, okay ?"
He just shook his head.
„Okay then, uh, on the couch? We can turn on the TV. "
He let her lead him down the stairs and they both sat on the couch. He was looking so lost. Lisbon wasn´t used to see Jane like this...he was always so full of himself, always putting himself back together. Never lowering his guard, no matter what. And yet, there he is, on her couch, in sweatpants and t-shirt, looking like a beaten puppy. Without thinking she hugged him.
He did not retreat. He did the exact opposite. He hugged her back, squeezing her and rested his head on her shoulder.
„It´s okay, Patrick, it will be just fine, you´ll see. "
„I know. he said hoarsely."
What to do now? Lisbon did not know. This was far more different than comforting her little brothers when something happened to them. This was Jane. A disturbed Jane in fact.
She trailed into his curls with her free hand and stroke him gently. Jane inhaled a sharp breath. Lisbon could feel how tensed up he was, in the matter of fact he hasn´t stopped shaking at all. But he was trying to get it under control.
„Just let go Jane, don´t bottle it up. "
He huffed.
„Look who´s talking. "
„You´re right, but so am I, just let it go. "
He hesitated, not wanting her to see just in how much pain he was. He wanted her to be happy. Playing this act was much harder than he thought it would be. But he needed to continue.
„Patrick, I can already see that you are hurt, you don´t need to hide it from me. I just want to help you. That would make me happy. If you just let me help you. "
What is she a mentalist now or what?
„Lisbon, you helped me more than you can imagine, and I am forever in your debt. "
„Don´t be ridiculous Jane, just let it go finally. You´ll feel better. I promise. "
With that she kissed him on his temple.
That was the last drop for him. The images from the recent nightmare were still floating through his mind. This time, it wasn´t just Angela and Charlotte butchered on that bed, no, this time Lisbon was there too, with that horrid smiley on her face, looking at him with widen eyes...he tried to reach for her, tried to wipe that smiley away, and he felt that she was cold, her throat slashed...blood everywhere, everywhere he looked, were hundred of smiley faces on the walls, each and every one of them smiling at him, because he was responsible. It was his fault. And nobody else's.
„It´s okay Patrick, it will be okay. I´m...here."
She is. She is here with him, she is not dead. His Lisbon.
He nodded and started sobbing, just a little sobs for starters but soon enough he was sobbing uncontrollably, still holding her like she was the last straw for a drowning man.
Why has this have to happen to his family? Why his? His beloved daughter could be going to high school, dating some guys he would sure scare to death. And Angela, she could have her life she always wanted to have. To have a home, a family, maybe a dog. Or turtle, or whatever she would like. Anything. He would have given them anything. That´s all he ever wanted. To give them both what he never had. A loving home.
And what he gave them?
Death.
Painful death.
He was so tired.
But Lisbon was still holding him. She knew what he have done and he hurt her, badly and many times and there she is, holding him while he cries like a child. She is so much stronger than him. So much stronger and maybe if he fall asleep in her arms tonight she would keep the nightmares at the bay. Just for this night.
Just one...night...
One...
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I would like to thank anybody who reads this story and likes it :) It really means a lot to me :)