Prompt 20- Ghost
A/N: A little SpongeBob SquarePants/Harry Potter crossover! Don't take this one seriously, folks- it's meant to be funny. And random.
...
"Whenever the skies in Bikini Bottom darken, no matter the hour, you can be sure that the Flying Dutchman will exercise his supernatural power"-
"Alright, enough of the rhymes!" Squidward yelled at the French Narrator rudely, shaking a fisted tentacle at the sky in fury at the audacity of narrators, French or otherwise, at torturing him even more than a walk home from the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob SquarePants, in the pouring rain and a howling wind would do (and have done, unfortunately)
"How rude!" The French Narrator exclaimed indignantly.
"Aw, be nice to him, Squidward- he's just doing his job," Protested the kindly poriferan, much to the older employee's disgust.
"Hmph! He's certainly done a good job of annoying me!" Squidward huffs. "I can't wait to get home- warmth, a cup of nice hot tea, my Clary- and of course be away from you for a few hours!" He added.
"And I shall feed Gary and watch a movie with him, Patrick and Sandy!" SpongeBob added brightly. "We're having a sleepover, too- are you sure you don't want to come, Squiddy?"
"Yes, yes, SpongeBob- I'm perfectly sure," Squidward smiled through gritted teeth. Then he frowned. "Wait a minute; didn't the narrator mention something about the Flying Dutchman at the start?"
"Oh, maybe he'd like to join my sleepover!" The sponge clapped his hands excitedly.
"I doubt that- and also, I meant, why hasn't he shown up, yet?" Squidward asked, coming to a halt, and looking round suspiciously for any supernatural activity. Ever since his terrifying encounter with the Flying Dutchman at his house, he became paranoid whenever the dreaded sea ghost's name was mentioned.
"Hm, I don't know- though I do see a green fog coming towards us." SpongeBob said, pointing down the road, to where two spectral figures were coming towards them.
"Just my luck," Sighed Squidward. "Encountering the supernatural on a Friday evening with one of the biggest morons in this town,"
...
The Flying Dutchman came over to the trembling Krusty Krew, and began laughing evilly.
"Oh, hi, Dutchie!" SpongeBob called out, in an attempt to be friendly. "What are you up to?"
"Oh, hello there, SpongeBob- I've found me a new friend!" The Flying Dutchman explained, throwing an arm round the second ghost's shoulders.
"Why...why is he covered in...?"
"I've never asked!" The Flying Dutchman replied, winking. "Oh, I forgot to mention- this is...the Bloody Baron! He's a ghost from some school for witch and wizard brats, or somethin' like that..."
"Yes, Hogwarts," The Baron answered with a sniff.
SpongeBob stepped forward, holding out his hand.
"Wait a moment, what does this boy think he's doing?" Asked the Bloody Baron in confusion and disgust, glancing at the Flying Dutchman for an explanation- but the sea ghost only shrugged hopelessly.
"Hi there, Mr Bloody Baron, sir! I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is my dear friend, Squidward Tentacles!" The sea sponge said politely, wrapping one arm round Squidward in a friendly one armed hug, whilst using his other hand to shake the Bloody Baron's hand cordially. "Welcome to Bikini Bottom!"
"Yes...thank you, SplogeDab," Said the Baron, causing the Dutchman to shriek with laughter at hearing the mispronunciation of the fry cook's name – to which said fry cook joined in happily.
"Yep, welcome to the nuthouse underwater," Squidward deadpanned, masking his fear of the baron- or ghost baron- behind a mask of sarcasm.
"Yes, thank you, dear boy," Replied the Bloody Baron. "You know, Squidward- I like your humour. What are your interests?"
"Well, I like the clarinet, and painting, and"-
"Halt! Did you say you play the clarinet?" The Baron asked, hopefully, to which Squidward chuckled and bowed.
"Why, yes I did, sir. Would you care to listen to me play?"
"I'd be honoured, my good man! Uh...octopus- please take me to your palace!"
"Alright, but it's not very big..."
With that, Squidward and the Bloody Baron walked off into the night, leaving only SpongeBob and the Flying Dutchman.
"Oh, and I thought we were BFFS!" Exclaimed the Dutchman sadly.
"Aw, cheer up, Mr. Dutchman, sir! How about you come to my sleepover? We'll have ice cream, watch movies, eat popcorn, do each other's hair"-
"And steal souls?"
"Sure, why – wait a minute! No stealing souls! That's not what friends do, mister!"
"Aw, nuts!"
...
Later, the five were at SpongeBob's, playing their variation of 'Spin the Bottle'- in which they had to declare one thing they liked about each other as a friend.
"MY TURN!" Bellowed the Flying Dutchman, once Sandy had given her reason why she liked Patrick as a friend. He spun the bottle round wildly- and it pointed at SpongeBob.
"Oh, goody- I like you as my friend, because...you have the PUREST SOUL IN THE OCEAN! HA! HA! HA!"
"Ahem!" The sponge cleared his throat, and pointed to his heart. The Dutchman blushed, and amended "...Fine. I like you as my friend because you helped me get me scare back when I lost all faith in meself."
"That's better! Okay, Pat, spin her round!"
"Meow,"
"You're after Patrick, Gary, remember? Be patient, Gare- Bear."
"Meow, meow,"
...
Meanwhile, next door, Squidward was playing his clarinet, (horribly) to his ghostly guest, pleased to have someone appreciative of his art for a change.
"Bravo, bravo, Mr. Squidward! I enjoyed that very much!" The Bloody Baron told him, applauding his host.
"Thank you, thank you." Squidward replied, bowing.
"And to think," Continued the Baron "that I decided to spend my time with that... floating green lunatic next door! Driving me up the wall, he has. You are much more pleasurable company, Mr Squidward."
"Why, you're too kind," the cephalopod said, flattered by the ghost's praise.
"And so, dear viewers-erm, I mean readers; it seems that ghosts are unpredictable in their friendship circles." The French Narrator said cautiously- but thankfully, Squidward was too preoccupied to notice him talking again. "Join us for the next episode of...SpongeBob SquarePants!"