Bruce can't bring himself to talk to Jason about the matter Alfred had brought up for two more days. During that time, Dick, Jason, and Tim try to make themselves as useful as possible around the Manor. They end up pulling out unsolved case files from GCPD's archives and begin going through them, taking over the majority of the space in the Batcave and making it fairly difficult for Bruce to do his own work. He doesn't complain though; simply seeing the three spending the time together is enough for him. Besides, Alfred seems to frequent the Batcave more when the boys are down there, bringing an assortment of snacks for them throughout the day.
No one talks about what Jason had almost done at the Visitor Center. There's an odd tension lingering in the air, and everyone is a bit quiet than usual. Yet none of them bring it up, to Jason's shock. He decides to say nothing about it either, for fear of where the conversation will end up. And so the next few days pass, filled by a strange calmness that feels more like the unease one has while watching a dark storm approaching.
On the third morning following the events at Arkham, Jason takes longer than usual getting ready. Standing in his bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of jeans, he wipes at the remaining steam on the mirror leftover from his shower, gazing at his reflection with a deep solemnness.
He tries to avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible whenever he's undressed. Though his body is well nourished, and as strong as it could possibly be considering all that's happened to it, it will forever be a testament to Joker's treatment. Scars mar his skin without mercy, marking his back, his chest, his arms – not one area has been left undamaged. Even after a year, the sight of his naked body still manages to bring him discomfort, which is frustrating to no end.
He's not sure how long he stands there, letting his eyes trail over the scars; many of the long-healed wounds still have vivid memories still clinging to them, while others he may never remember how they were inflicted. He lifts his hand and, with a slowness that makes the touch almost seem like a caress, trails a finger along one of the white lines twisting around his forearm.
The sound of his bedroom door opening startles him, and he snaps his head up to see Bruce poke his head in, looking rather awkward as he glances about. "Jason?" He turns, and his gaze latches onto Jason's. "Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. Can…I come in?"
"Yeah," Jason mutters. He hurries through the open bathroom door, moving over to his bedside. "Sure."
Bruce steps in carefully, watching with as Jason snatches his shirt off of his bed and tugs it on. Bruce's eyes linger on Jason's torso for a moment, grimly staring at where the now covered-up scars had been starkly visible seconds before. Then he focuses his attention back to Jason's face, trying to sound casual as he speaks. "Um…why don't we sit?"
"Am I in trouble?" Jason asks tentatively.
"No," Bruce answers, pulling his usual chair over to Jason's bedside. Jason sits on the edge of the bed so that they're facing. "Not exactly. But I'd like to discuss something with you."
Jason doesn't answer. He teeters on the edge of the bed for a moment, looking vaguely uncomfortable. Equally apprehensive, Bruce folds his hands together and rests his arms on his legs, trying to figure out how best to start.
"Well," Bruce finally says. "I'll begin by saying that Leslie's blood test came back in for you, and she says that there's no lingering trace of Titan in your body. It seems that the antidote worked perfectly."
Still not sure what to say, Jason just nods his head.
Bruce sucks in a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, Jason, we need to talk about what happened at Arkham."
"You mean when I shot the Joker," Jason says.
A grimace slips onto Bruce's lips. "Yes. Jason, do you realize the seriousness of your actions? Killing Joker would have put you in prison. Or at the very least, destroyed the thin trust we share with the GCPD; we already work outside the law, and murder is something they would not be able to turn a blind eye to."
A flicker of disturbance flashes in Jason's eyes as the truth of this statement dawns on him. But then it's quickly gone, replaced by a quiet determination. "It doesn't matter," he mutters. "If it means keeping people safe from monsters like the Joker, it's a risk I'm willing to accept."
"I'm not willing to accept it," Bruce says. "You are my son, and I will not watch you destroy yourself or end up locked away in Blackgate."
Jason frowns, crossing his arms as he glances away.
Bruce sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Jason, you know that I want to be able to trust you while you're out there. I truly do. But I can't, not after what almost happened at Arkham. I cannot let you continue being the Gotham Knight like this."
Anger snaps into Jason's eyes. "Who are you to decide whether or not I can be the Gotham Knight?" he demands. "What, getting tired of babysitting me through the tracking system?"
"Jason, listen to me," Bruce says firmly. "This is not just because of Arkham. Alfred and I have talked it over, and –"
"Alfred's agreed to this?" Hurt flickers across Jason's face.
Bruce gives Jason an uneasy look. "Jason, please, listen. Being the Gotham Knight, being here in Gotham itself…we can see that it's wearing on you." He pauses. "I thought that allowing you to be the Gotham Knight would help you heal from what the Joker put you through. I assumed that going back to what you had been doing as Robin would put things back to normal. But now I can see that it was a wrong decision of me to make."
Jason shakes his head, his expression a mix of offense and disbelief.
"Gotham is…it's not a healthy place for you to be," Bruce continues. "There's so much violence here, so many horrors, that it's become almost…toxic to you."
"Just me though?" spits Jason. "Not Tim? Or Barbara?"
"They…they haven't gone through what you have, Jason," says Bruce carefully. "They grew up differently from you, and they –"
Jason stiffens, and his lips curl into a sneer. "Didn't have a father that beat them on a regular basis?" he says viciously.
Bruce winces.
"Didn't have the pleasure of being Joker's prisoner for nine months?" Jason goes on. "No, I guess they haven't. So what, that somehow makes them immune to Gotham? That makes them stronger than me?"
Bruce suddenly finds himself desperately wishing he had Alfred here with him to explain this better. "Jason, this is not a question of your strength. You know how amazed I am at how you've overcome the…obstacles in your life –"
Jason laughs harshly at that. "Obstacles? I guess you could call them that."
"Jason, I'm trying to think of what's best for you," pleads Bruce. "I care for your well-being, and I think that being here in Gotham, surrounding yourself with this constant brutality as the Gotham Knight, is not healthy. It's time to give it a break."
"Give what a break?" says Jason heatedly. "The Gotham Knight? Or Gotham itself?"
Unwilling to answer, Bruce is quiet.
Jason pales. "Both?" he says. The fury leaves his eyes, replaced by horrified denial. "Are you…are you sending me away?"
A pained expression takes hold of Bruce's face. "No," he says, and the emotion there is almost enough to convince Jason that he's telling the truth. "No, I'm not sending you anywhere, Jason. I'm simply trying to think of a solution, and I think there's an option you should consider."
Though Jason looks as though he wants do anything but ask, he does. "And that is?"
Bruce hesitates. "We think it may be best if you went to Blüdhaven with Dick."
Stunned, all Jason can do is sit there, staring at Bruce with wide eyes.
It finally happened. It took longer than he had originally expected when Bruce had first brought him to the Manor as a child, but he had been stupid to think he could ever escape the inevitable. Bruce had finally had enough of him – he was throwing him out. Jason opens his mouth weakly for a moment, then glances about his room as he tries to figure out how to respond.
"But, Gotham…it's…" Jason waves his hands in a frustrated gesture, annoyed that he's fumbling over finding the right words.
Bruce reaches out, but Jason jerks away, staggering to his feet. The sorrow in Bruce only intensifies at the rejection, and he swallows hard, trying to keep his voice steady. "Jason, Gotham will always be your home. Wayne Manor will always be your home. But, sometimes it's good to get away. Sometimes it's best to get out of an environment that may be…harmful to you."
Jason breathes heavily, anger and panic battling within him as he tries to process what he's being told. "I…" He can't think. He can't stand here and listen as the man he thought cared for him tells him he no longer wants him.
Spinning around on his heel, Jason stalks towards the bedroom door.
"Jason –" Bruce begins brokenly.
Jason ignores him, rushing out of the room and down the hall. By the time Bruce follows him outside, Jason is nowhere to be seen.
"Dammit," Bruce mutters. "Dammit." He closes his eyes, trying to calm the erratic emotions swirling within him. He has to find Jason.
He has to fix this.
/
"Bruce is looking everywhere for you."
Jason lifts his head at the unexpected voice.
Leaning against a nearby tree, with his arms crossed and his head cocked to the side, is Dick. He watches Jason with a concerned look on his face, but thankfully there's none of the sympathy Jason hates seeing from him.
Jason frowns and turns away from Dick, resting his chin on top of his knees, which are pulled up against his chest. He's sitting on one of the stone benches in the Wayne Manor greenhouse, hidden amongst the dense brush that surround the marble fountain. Annoyed at having been discovered, Jason fixates his gaze on the angel standing in the center of the fountain. "Not much of a detective if he can't find me; I didn't really go out of my way to find a difficult hiding spot."
Dick chuckles. "True." He lifts his eyes to the angel statue. "Though this always seemed to be more of a place for Robins than the Batman. Maybe it's the glass walls – too much light for the grump."
That does bring a small smirk to Jason's mouth.
Walking over to Jason, Dick slides onto the bench next to him. Jason doesn't move to get up, though he does lower his legs to the ground.
"Jason, we all know that Bruce sucks at human communication, so I'm sure whatever he said was not meant to be interpreted as it was."
"I don't know," Jason says sullenly. "It seems pretty clear to me that he wants me out of Wayne Manor, and Gotham."
Dick rolls his eyes. "He doesn't want you to leave at all, dumbass. If you had bothered to use that brain I know you have, you would have seen how upset Bruce was to even talk to you about this in the first place. He spent well over an hour discussing this entire thing with Alfred and me last night. He wasn't happy with the decision in the least, but he truly believes it's what's best for you."
"How?"
"Jason, Gotham is not always an exactly…uplifting city," Dick says. "It's darkness, it's…gravity is something that continues to push on the people living within it, and…sometimes it's best to take a breather from it. Even if it's only for a little while."
"You mean just give up?"
Dick frowns. "No." He gives a sigh. "Look, when I stopped being Robin, I knew I couldn't stay here. At Wayne Manor, or even in Gotham. This place wasn't for me. I was tied here as Robin because Batman and I were a team. But once I was on my own, I needed to find myself. I needed to have space and the freedom to shake off Gotham's shadow and become something more, something better. Moving to Blüdhaven was the best thing I could have ever done; it helped me figure out where I stood in life, in ways I doubt Gotham ever could have."
Placing a hand on Jason's shoulder, Dick gives Jason a serious look. "Jason, you're my brother, and I care about your well-being just as much as Bruce does. I truly think that getting away from this city is the best decision you could make at this point. It doesn't have to be a permanent change – your room here at Wayne Manor will always be open to you. But I think it would help to just get a…new perspective on things. Besides," he smiles. "You'll get to live with me. I'll admit that my cooking doesn't exactly live up to Alfred's, but that's what take-out is for."
"Your cooking is shit," snorts Jason. Glancing up at the angel, Jason watches as the water trickles from her hand into the fountain below. "There's crime in Blüdhaven too, you know. Like…a lot."
"Trust me, I'm aware," Dick smirks. Then he sobers. "There's going to be crime anywhere you go, Jay. But the main goal here is to get out of Gotham, where…a lot has happened to you. Blüdhaven may not be the ideal alternative, but, I'd really like it if you stayed with me over anywhere else."
Jason is quiet for a long minute. "But, what about the Gotham Knight? That's important to me, Dick, you know it is."
Dick looks a bit uncertain at that. "Bruce thinks that it's best if you give it a break too. Just for a bit. But, if you keep up your psychotherapy sessions with Dr. Leslie, when you're ready I'd be thrilled to have you work with me. We'll kick all kinds of ass together."
"Gotham Knight doesn't exactly roll off the tongue as easily when it's being said in Blüdhaven," Jason mutters bitterly.
A grimace crosses Dick's face. "You don't have to keep the name. But –"
"And what if I just decide to go off on my own?" interrupts Jason. "What if I decide that I've had enough of your guys' bullshit, and I go somewhere where you all can't breathe down my neck, treating me like a child?"
Clearly bothered by the statement, Dick briefly looks away. "We don't want to force you to do anything, Jason. This is all just an idea we'd like you to consider. No one is kicking you out of Wayne Manor. Honestly, I think if Bruce had his way, he'd keep you here for the rest of your life. He's kind of clingy that way."
Jason rolls his eyes, looking vaguely amused in spite of himself.
Dick gives Jason's shoulder a squeeze. "Bruce loves you, you know that, right?"
Jason doesn't reply, but the emotion in his eyes is enough of an answer. He blinks and sucks in a sharp breath, opening his mouth to speak. But the rustling of bushes behind them cuts him off, and he and Dick twist around to see Bruce walking up one of the more narrow pathways leading to the fountain.
Bruce freezes upon seeing the two, an almost…guilty look encompassing his eyes.
"Dick," Bruce says quietly. "I need to talk to Jason alone."
Dick glances at Jason as he stands. "Sure, Bruce. I'll be back at the Manor."
Bruce doesn't move forward as Dick disappears into the gardens. He shuffles his feet, looking more out of place than Jason's ever seen him before.
"Can I…can I sit down?" he finally asks.
At first, Jason just stares at Bruce. Then he nods, shifting so Bruce will have room. Bruce moves awkwardly as he sits beside Jason, keeping a few inches of space in-between them as he settles onto the bench.
Bruce rubs a hand across his mouth, the apprehension on his face uncharacteristically blatant. "Jason…you had asked me a question the day of the children's home fire. And I did not answer it…well." He takes in a deep breath. "As you are well aware of, I do not believe it is right of us to take the lives of others, no matter what their crimes have been. Everyone deserves a chance to make something better of themselves, and without that line, we risk losing ourselves to that same madness that has taken hold of many of Gotham's criminals. Nothing will change my ideology on that matter."
Jason frowns, but he doesn't speak.
"However," continues Bruce. "You, Dick, and Tim are more important to me than anything else; I would do anything if it meant keeping you three safe. I will always try to find the way that will result in the least amount of violence to do so, but no matter what, when it comes down to it, I will do everything in my power to keep you from harm." His gaze falls upon the J on Jason's cheek, and his voice is suddenly much more uneven when he speaks next. "Jason, I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you from the Joker. My failure to do so will haunt me every day for the rest of my life. But I'm…I'm trying to set it right. I'm trying to help you heal, and I'm trying to make up for my mistakes."
Reaching out, Bruce takes Jason's hand in both of his; surprisingly, Jason doesn't try to pull away. "Jason, I need you to understand that. Please, please tell me know that." Bruce tightens his grip, giving their hands a small shake in his ferventness.
Jason begins to tremble. Slowly, he lifts teary eyes to Bruce's.
"I know," whispers Jason. "I know, Bruce." His voice breaks on Bruce's name, and tears leak from his eyes.
Feeling tears well in his own eyes, Bruce rises from the bench, pulling Jason up with him and enveloping the boy in an embrace. Bruce tightens his arms, and Jason does the same, burying his face in the comforting warmth of his father's chest.
"This is not a punishment," Bruce says softly. "This is not me sending you away; this is me trying to do what is best for you. That's all I want – for you to have a chance to truly recover. But it's your choice. If you really want to stay here, we'll figure something out."
Jason nods, though tears continue to drip down his cheeks. Drawing his son closer, Bruce rests his chin on top of Jason's head, keeping the boy cradled against his body. Eventually they pull apart, though they remain facing each other.
"You don't have to make a decision right away, Jason," says Bruce. He reaches out, brushing away a lingering tear on Jason's disfigured cheek. "Okay?"
"K," murmurs Jason.
Bruce keeps his hand pressed to the side of Jason's head, watching as the boy drops his gaze to the ground. Jason's lost expression is utterly heartbreaking to Bruce, but he's not sure what else to say to ease his son's mind. He lets out a sad sigh and caresses Jason's cheek in what he hopes is a comforting gesture, trying to ignore the feeling of the scar tissue beneath his thumb. Then he drops his hand and gives Jason's shoulder a gentle pat.
"Alfred's been stress-cooking all morning for you. He's got a massive brunch waiting, so if you're hungry…"
Jason's mouth curves upwards. "Starved," he admits.
Bruce returns the smile and wraps an arm around Jason's shoulders. "Well let's go then, before Dick and Tim eat it all. If they do, you, Alfred, and I can go get donuts."
"We won't share with Dick and Tim, of course."
Bruce chuckles. "Naturally."