After drying himself up he changed his clothes, washed his teeth and headed downstairs. The anxiety he felt was still present. Every step on the stairs he took was harder and harder. But only until he saw her. Lisbon was snuggled on the couch, hiding under blanket, sipping beer and looking so adorably bored and tired that he had to smile. Feeling a little better, he followed her and sat on the couch.

" You done finally? "

" Yes, and I must say, I enjoyed it, very much, thank you." . He grinned.

"Well, thank you for cleaning. Now we are even." She smiled at him.

"Even? We can hardly be even! I was working hard, back-breaking labor, in your kitchen. And we are even because you let me use your shower? I disagree."

She swatted him again.

" Take some beer, then we are even. "

"He gave her a very hurtful look but reached for one of those beers."

Lisbon tried not to show how good he smelled to her. It was a combination of the shampoo, minty fresh breath and Jane. She was sure he was warm and smooth. Her cheeks turned red and she knew it. Since when he had such an impact on her?

Since always, but she was good at hiding it. At least when he was not around her.

He must have seen something because he looked at her with that boyish grin she hated and loved so much.

" What? she asked?"

"You are blushing. "

" Am not."

"You sure are, my dear Lisbon, what is it? "

She shuddered a little, feeling embarrassed and little tipsy.

" It´s just the beer Jane, don´t flatter yourself. "

"Ah, alcohol, so convenient to have something to blame. "

She just rolled her eyes at him.

" Let´s just watch TV, okay? "

She took another sip from her beer, realizing it was almost empty.

" Your wish is my command. So what´s on?"

She took another beer and opened it.

" I don´t really know. "

Jane looked right at her, knowing that she knew exactly what´s on. And decided to call her on it.

"Oh, Lisbon, don´t pretend you don´t know what´s on, I bet you can tell me what kind of show is on which channel, can´t you?"

She could. She definitely could. Her night routine was always more or less the same. Go home. Watch TV. Worry about Jane, her brothers or about her own feelings. Then, fall asleep only to be awaken at ungodly hour to investigate a murder. Well, not every night, but it happened a lot.

"Okay, so I watch a bit of TV before sleeping, what is wrong with that? "

He smiled and shook his head.

" Nothing wrong at all, just sain´. "

She snuggled even more into the blanket trying to find a comfortable position.

" Like you never watch TV. What about those animal programs? You could be a zoologist by now. "

"Hey, those programs interesting and you can learn a lot about human behavior by watching them. "

" Human? So by watching a documentary about starfish you can learn about what exactly? "

He laughed.

" Well, that is not what I meant. "

They talked like that for a long time, changing channels and making fun of shows. The time flows fast when you are having fun, and Jane sure was having fun. Arguing with Lisbon, making her angry and bossy was his favorite thing to do. It still is.

He felt better, a lot better than before. Her presence was making him feel safe and calm. The playful banter was just bonus.

Those dark thoughts from shower were all gone.

So was the anxiety.

It was so long, too long, since he felt this way. For the first time since he killed the man that murdered his family, he regained some sense of normality. Some sense of belonging. He was alone for a long time, but so was Lisbon. He is not the only one with guards all the time up. The woman sitting with him on the couch is pretty much the same.

He would never be the man he was, husband, father, his past will always come back to haunt him.

But with Lisbon he felt like he is not alone in that. Her past was no piece of cake too. And look at her, she is the strongest person he knows for sure.

It was almost midnight when he realized she had fallen asleep. It was easy to spot that because she stopped answering his questions and started snoring lightly. She was sleeping in a very weird position and he was sure her neck would hurt a lot if he let her sleep like this.

Trying not to wake her, he got up and picked her up, planning on carrying her to bed. She was so thin and soon he was in her bedroom, putting her down. She mumbled something incomprehensible.

He lied down to her, inhaling the fruity scent of her hair. The night outside was calm, a slight breeze blowing, stars shinning. Jane fought the tiredness but not for long. Lisbon´s calm and deep breathing soon lulled him to sleep.

He was standing somewhere, in some kind of dark and cold room. Standing barefoot he could feeling liquid under his toes. He dared to look down. But the darkness covered everything around him. He kneeled down and touched it. It was sticky. And warm. Trembling, he dared to go further and saw a little light. It shone through the door right in front of him. He was attracted to it like a moth to a flame, even though he knew what´s awaiting in there. He tried to stop himself from walking, from touching the doorknob but it was impossible. His own hands refused to listen to him. He could hear the door creak, the light getting brighter. He didn´t want to see what is inside.

No.

Not again.

He opened the door against his own will.

And there they were.

Again.

With the man who did it to them. His wife and daughter lying on the bed. The smell of blood and sweat made him sick. He wanted to scream. To kill the man standing over them. He ran to him, prepared to finish this off, finally. He was inches away from him when the man turned.

His own smiling face turned to look at him. It was him. Smiling, covered in blood, Patrick Jane stood in front of him, holding a kitchen knife. Before he could do anything, that smiling Patrick stabbed him.

He tried to scream but no sound came out of him.

Lisbon woke up totally disoriented and it took her some time to realize where is she and what happened. Jane was twisting on her bed, whining, his eyes under his eyelids were moving fast.

"Jane!" she yelled,

"Jane wake up!"

She grabbed his hand with one of hers and slapped him with the other. He cried out, but eventually opened his eyes, his breathing so fast as he was running a marathon.

"It´s okay" she said still holding his hand. "It´s okay."

She tried to think about other thing to say but only managed to say these two words. He looked at her helplessly and tried to sit. She helped him up, and hugged him. She could feel his heartbeat going crazy under his shirt.

They stayed like that for some time, Lisbon whispering to him in that soothing voice of hers.

"You okay?"

He breathed in and out.

"Yeah, sure."

"Bad one?"

"Had worse."

It was true. This one still sucked though.

"Do you need anything, shall I bring you some water, or a cup of tea?"

He shook his head.

"You sure?"

"Yes, just..."

"What Jane?"

"...stay here?"

"Sure. Sure I´ll stay."

Still hugging, they both lied down. Lisbon started playing with his hair, caressing him gently. She tried to stay awake and she did for a long time. She just watched him doze off, hoping this time, it would result in dreamless sleep.

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I hope you like this one, I nearly fell asleep on the table after a really long day at work while writing it :) And thanks to everyone who is enjoying this story :)