Kyle was a very methodical person.

He kept lists. He liked to plan things out.

That probably explained why his grades were dropping.

He couldn't start on any project – be it homework, or a paper – until the minute hand was at a multiple of 5. For example, when Kyle sat down at his desk to start work on his English essay, the time was 8:13. He had two minutes to spare until he could start. If his mother called him for something, he would have to wait until 8:20.

Stan was the only one he'd told about this quirk, and he'd just laughed. Stan had always been much more easy-going, and Kyle really admired him for that.

Kyle couldn't watch porn unless it was a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Saturday. He didn't know whether that was natural compulsion or compulsion spawning from convenience. Most Fridays were Stan days, and so they weren't fit for porn. Sundays were homework days, and Mondays were catching-up-on-the-weekends days. It certainly all made sense to Kyle, even though it probably didn't make sense to anyone else.

The time was now 8:14. Kyle had one minute until he could open up the word document. It was a Tuesday. Could he watch porn in a minute? Kyle didn't think so. Sure, he enjoyed sketching his plans out, but that certainly didn't mean that he planned his orgasms down to the second.

The clock turned 8:15. In a fit of reckless abandon, Kyle decided to watch porn anyway. It had been several days since he'd gotten off, and he was feeling a bit jumpy. He had a few websites that were his favorite, and he alternated between them on the alternating days.

Tuesday was Leather Baddies.

He decided that he would watch porn until 8:29, which left a one minute hand-washing window, and then he would begin on his paper.

Kyle plugged in his headphones, went to the third page and clicked on the fifth video, (that was the one he always had to pick,) and pushed play. Kyle's door didn't have a lock, but he could usually hear his mother coming from a mile away, his father never visited, and Ike was too scarred from walking in on him in the shower once to ever come near his room. Stan would always send Kyle a message before coming over because he knew how much it irked him when he just dropped by.

Still, Kyle liked to play it safe. He pushed pause, just as he felt himself begin to heat up. He hastily threw his bean bag in front of his door and then ran back over to his computer.

He clicked the play button and felt the tingle spread all over his body. Fuck, this video was a good one. The little one was on the floor, writhing, while the big man gave it to him again and again and again. "Oh, fuck me harder! Please fuck me harder!" the little one shouted out, contrasting his plea with teary eyes.

"Ufff." Kyle bit at his lip. It was literally a hundred degrees hotter in his room; it had to be.

Kyle closed his eyes and all he could hear was the groaning on his headphones, and all could feel was the rhythm of his hand, and all these images assaulted him, one-by-one, mostly actors, or imagined versions of characters from books. No one real; it never was. If Kyle got off to Stan one day, he didn't know what he would do. He'd never be able to look at him again. He'd feel guilty, like he defiled their friendship or something. He was tempted to get off on Cartman, just so the fatass would have a heart attack, but God, actually, that was really disgusting and Kyle couldn't believe he'd even thought that as a joke. But, oh no, now the fatass wouldn't get out of there. Why wouldn't he get out of there? Good god, is he naked?

"Dude, weak!" Kyle shouted. He opened his eyes and glared at the computer screen. The guys were still going at it, and he was still somewhat hard, but it wasn't so hot in his room anymore. There was actually kind of a breeze.

He turned to his window. He didn't know why he was so surprised, but Kenny of all people was straddling his sill. Of course. Kenny always came in through the window, although Kyle could probably count on one hand the number of times Kenny had visited him.

Kenny was staring right at him, so it was clear that he could see what he was doing. Kyle stared right back, and, for a moment, he thought that he might not ever be able to move again.

But what felt like eternity was only a split-second, and Kyle quickly flew into panic mode.

"Jesus Christ!" Kyle zipped up his jeans, careful not to hurt anything in the process, and he ripped off his headphones, and then he turned off his monitor. He knew how he looked, all panting and flushed as he breathed out, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Kenny seemed amused. He pulled his other leg in and landed on Kyle's floor. "I want to pay you to do my math homework." He waved the Algebra textbook he was holding.

Of all the times for Kenny to care about his grades ...

Kyle wanted to scream. He wanted to ask Kenny what the fuck rights did he think he had, invading his privacy? He wanted to tell him to shut the goddamn window, and, while he was at it, throw himself out. He wanted to tell him all kinds of things. Instead, he said, "Why the fuck do you think I'd do your math homework?" which wasn't quite as biting.

"I dunno," Kenny said, entering the room, plopping down on the bed. "Because I've got twenty bucks and I'm prepared to grovel?"

Kenny was acting awfully blasé. Kyle wondered if it was naïve to hope he'd get off so lucky, to hope Kenny would have enough tact not to bring it up.

"You should know I'm a harder sell than that," he managed to say. He swiveled around in his computer chair and crossed his arms.

"Or we could just talk about the," Kenny covered his mouth with a grubby, frayed glove, "ahem, compromising position I caught you in just there."

Kyle was irate. Was this really what friends stooped to? One of your supposed best fucking friends in the world? Extortion?

"Or I could find out where you got that twenty bucks and blackmail you, dickhole!"

Kenny gave a shit-eating grin. "If you're so curious, I'll tell you. But seriously, dude, it's no biggie. What were you watching, anyway? Turn it back on; I wanna see."

"Wha- What? Dude, I'm not going to let you see it!"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, man. I'd let you come over and watch some of mine if you want."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Kenny…"

"It was gay porn, though, right? Like, two guys going at it? That's what gets you off?"

Hearing it put that way made Kyle acutely aware of how true it was, and just how that sounded. "Look, dude, it's not … I mean …"

"Dude, I'm not calling you gay." Kenny put up his hands in a pacifistic gesture. Kyle felt his heart skip a beat.

"You're not?"

"No, dude. Porn's all about fantasy; it's not reality. Now turn it back on and let me see your kinks."

Kyle could hardly believe it was true, that someone was echoing the very sentiments he had been telling himself for years.

"You won't tell anyone, then? Because I'm, like, not gay."

Kenny gave him a long look. "Like … anyone, anyone?"

Kyle understood what he meant. "No. Stan doesn't know about my ... "kinks," as it were."

Kenny's grin grew two-fold. "I know something Stan doesn't?"

"Stan knocks."

"All those years of not-knocking finally paid off! Now lemme see."

Kyle thought Kenny had been joking, but he seemed to be serious about wanting to see the video. He swiveled back around and Kenny came over, floating his head next to Kyle's as he brought the scene back to life.

Watching it from non-horny eyes was embarrassing. There was cheesy music in the background and neither of the men were particularly good looking. One of the close-up shots of the actual action was kind of disgusting.

"Nice," Kenny said appreciatively.

"Do you …?" Kyle started. "Do you watch stuff like this?"

If anyone would, it had to be him. He was one of the sexiest bastards Kyle had ever met. If any straight guy would watch gay porn, it would be Kenny.

"Not really," he answered off-handedly. "My fantasy's pretty boring. I like bleach-blonde chicks with massively fake tits. Lately I've been really into lesbians, though." Kenny straightened up. "Are you gonna do my math homework or not? You still stiff?"

"Dude!" Kyle felt his face go red. "You're, like, right here in the room with me!"

"So?"

"Oh, God …" Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just leave the book and the money on the bed, all right?"

"Woohoo!" Kenny exclaimed. "Thanks, man."

"You're welcome," Kyle said, but Kenny was already back out the window.