Prepare yourselves. That's all I have to say.

Chapter Seventeen (Eomer)

Things got better again between Lothiriel and I. We spoke every day to one another once more, not of anything to do with our lost daughter though. It did not feel as though we were avoiding dealing with our emotions, but we had both seemingly dealt with it on our own terms. And perhaps it had not been the best way to go about it, but it had happened and my main concern was moving forward together.

Prince Imrahil stayed with us for quite some time and I believe that that was a tremendous help in Lothiriel's recovery. He spent time with his daughter every day while I attended to the business of running Rohan. I will never know what they spoke of, but Lothiriel slowly brightened to her old self.

The seasoned ruler also lent me a helping hand. I had several trusted advisors, but no one had ever ruled and so as Imrahil's presence became a constant, I took to consulting him on matters that weighed heavily on my mind.

One such afternoon, I could hardly sit down at my large desk without panic and anxiety creeping into and constricting my chest. Imrahil strode in as I was pacing before the window. The winter had subsided and the snow had finally begun to melt away. Patches of green grass could be seen peeking through the still predominantly white plains.

"Is everything alright, Eomer? You've nearly worn a groove in the stone there," my father-in-law said as he closed the door behind him.

"Harvest approaches," I said lowly.

"Yes, that is the cyclical nature of things." There was a hint of humor in the older man's voice, but I found our situation less than amusing.

"So much for Rohan and her people depends on this harvest."

"And from what I can tell, you are well prepared," Imrahil responded more seriously.

I turned to look at him. "Careful preparation does not always yield the results we need."

He shook his head. "Our lives would be too easy if that were the case." Imrahil stepped forward and put a hand on my shoulder. "You do not give yourself enough credit, Eomer. You are more adept than you know."

"I am merely a soldier. A Marshall at best."

"You have proven yourself to be much more than that. You cannot allow yourself to worry about things that are out of your control. You have done what you can and you will do what you have to. I have complete confidence in your abilities."

In that moment, I felt like I had a father again. Between the loss of my own father and then the demise and death of my Uncle Theoden it had been long since I had felt that I had someone to look up to in my life. Imrahil seemed to be taking me under his wing, into the fold with his own sons, so to speak. It gave me as much peace as I could hope to have in such a trying time.

"Thank you, Imrahil. I truly appreciate your counsel." He took a seat on the sofa and ran hand through his grey hair.

"Now I would seek counsel from you."

I was a bit taken aback. I was not sure what I could offer the more seasoned ruler. "I will certainly do my best."

"Amrothos has been spending quite a bit of time with the shieldmaiden, Dernhild."

I nodded.

"He has spoken to me of marrying her."

I chuckled. "I have not known Amrothos very long, but I certainly never thought to hear that he wanted to wed."

"Surely you can understand that this presents a dilemma of sorts," Imrahil said. "Dernhild possesses no noble blood and she was previously another man's wife. She has a child from that union."

For a moment, I could not understand the problem, but then I remembered the cultural differences between Rohan and Gondor. It was something I had similarly been forgetting and remembering since I had wed Lothiriel.

"I can see the issue, though perhaps because Amrothos is the youngest of your sons it might be possible."

Imrahil nodded and so I continued. "Through Elphir you have a truce with your Swan Knights, through Lothiriel with Rohan, and you could still strike a beneficial match for Erchirion."

"And then of the four of my children, Amrothos is the only one who gets to choose his partner. It does not seem quite fair."

"This life is not fair," I said before I could stop myself.

"You are quite right, Eomer-King, it is not." He stood and touched my shoulder once more. "I have much to think on, it would seem. Perhaps before I leave we might speak further."

"I would hope so," I replied as he left my study.

ooooOoooo

A few more weeks passed and Imrahil was departing, confident that his daughter could handle being without him once more. He was taking Amrothos back to Dol Amroth with him.

Lothiriel had informed me that the conversation between father and son had not gone well. Amrothos had apparently protested the whole thing saying that he would not forget Dernhild just because Imrahil was moving him back to the coast.

I stood at the top of the steps to Meduseld with Lothiriel tucked under my arm and Dernhild standing on her other side. The shieldmaiden was stoic as she watched the two men ride away. Imrahil turned to wave goodbye, but Amrothos did not. I could sense that Lothiriel was trying to be as contained as her friend, and maybe before Artanis she could have been, but in that moment I could feel her trembling beneath my hand and her thick cloak.

"Let's go inside," I murmured into her black hair. As I turned to go though, she did not follow. I stopped in the entryway and looked back to see her and Dernhild unmoving, hands clasped.

ooooOoooo

Before I knew it, a year had passed since Lothiriel and I had wed. I sat at my desk and gazed out the window. The snow had melted away and the sun was shining just has it had on the day we married. I remember how lovely she looked that day, the sun bringing out auburn streaks in her hair and the discreet way her light blue dress had shown off the contours of her body.

In that same year, though, I had seen her at her worst and it had been quite low. I was not even certain we were out of the woods yet. How were we supposed to celebrate a year like that? I could not say that I did not want to celebrate it. Our brief time with our daughter had been in that time. I though it should be remembered.

So the next step then was to figure out a gift. Thinking of that set me back to my pacing.

ooooOoooo

When the day finally approached, I did not rise as I normally did to get my day started. When I woke, I wrapped my arms around Lothiriel and pulled her back into my chest and inhaled her sleeping scent. I had not held her in such a manner since before Artanis had passed.

Lothriel woke and turned to face me, allowing my arms to stay around her.

"What are you still doing here?" She asked blearily.

Instead of answering, I reached under my pillow where I had hidden my gift, when I first woke.

"Happy anniversary," I said holding the velvet pouch to her as I propped myself on an elbow.

"What?" She asked, dumbstruck.

"Happy anniversary," I repeated.

"Oh Eru," she muttered, invoking her god, her eyes filling with tears. "I forgot!" She exclaimed before going face first into her pillow.

I stared dumbly at the back of her head for a moment before coming back to reality. I stroked her mussed hair and her warm back. "Lothiriel, it is alright," I said over and over again though she did not respond.

"Please Lothiriel," I begged after several minutes of no response. "Surely you cannot breathe down there."

When she finally met my gaze her blue eyes were red and leaking tears.

"Oh stop," I murmured playfully, pulling her into my side.

"I am a terrible wife!" She exclaimed.

"That is absolutely not true," I replied. "You are the best wife and even the best wife is only human. We have had much to distract us from our marriage in the last year."

"I do not wish to speak of it."

"We do not have to speak at all. I have cleared my schedule for the day to spend it with you."

"Then let us go back to sleep for now. I cannot keep your early hours." Lothiriel gave me one last watery smile before closing her eyes allowing me to keep my warms wrapped around her.

Later, when I could not lie in bed any longer, I slipped away from Lothiriel and took a seat near the window. It had been so long since I had had the prospect of a tranquil day void of any meetings or other royal obligations.

I looked back over to where Lothiriel still lay sleeping. For the longest time she had not been sleeping well and it did my heart good to see that she was able to find some peace after our very tumultuous first year of marriage.

As I was bent over the basin in our bathroom, I felt arms snake around my middle. I wiped my face free of water to see my wife smiling at me from behind my back.

"I love it," she said, raising her hand that had her anniversary gift twined in her fingers. It was a jewel encrusted pendent of the letter "A" so that she might always keep our daughter with her.

"It means so much to me, Eomer," Lothiriel said as I stepped behind her to fasten the necklace around her slender neck.

"I am glad," I kissed the top of her head. "I want her to be with you always."

Lothiriel pulled my face down to meet hers and kissed my lips gently. It was the first time she had kissed me in months and I smiled into it.

We spent the rest of my free day riding through Edoras and out to the river.

"I cannot believe it was over a year ago that we first were here together," Lothiriel mused as she dismounted

"Do you remember how unkind you were?" I asked with a jesting smile.

Lothiriel rolled her eyes in my direction. "For such a great warrior king, you are quite sensitive."

"Ah well it did sting a bit, I must admit. You were quite the adversary."

Lothiriel gave a light laugh and tucked herself under my arm and we watched the water flow by in its lazy spring fashion.

I took a long bath later in the evening. Even though we had been quite a bit more physical earlier in the day, Lothiriel did not join me as she had before Artanis was born. I could sense that after our daughter's death it was more than shame of her physical appearance that was keeping Lothiriel back from our previous intimacy.

As I rested my head back on the edge of the tub, I tried to think of how long it had been since I had touched her smooth skin that the world did not get to see or how long it had been since I had felt her beneath me, her breath in my ear, her hair in my hands. I became aroused just thinking about it.

When I emerged from the bathroom in fresh linen leggings and a tunic, I was surprised to see a feast set up in our private chambers. Lothiriel was standing behind one chair at the small table, smiling at me.

"What is all of this?"

"It is the least I could do after this morning." She shrugged.

Upon closer inspection, I noticed that she had had all of my favorite foods served including the darker ale I favored.

"This is too much." I inhaled the wafting scent and my mouth instantly began to water.

"It is not nearly enough. I forgot our anniversary, this morning," Lothiriel said as she gestured for me to take a seat.

I waved her apology aside and began piling my plate high with food.

By the time we finished eating, my stomach was full and my as more joyful than it had been in a very long time. Lothiriel and I had lightly bantered throughout the meal and I had a smile on my face as I led her to our private gardens that overlooked the plains.

Lothiriel enjoyed reading on the bench amongst the flowers and she had left a light blanket there that we covered up with. It was beginning to warm up, but there was still a chill in the evening air.

She rested a hand on my knee under the blanket and leaned into my shoulder as I wrapped an arm around her. I inhaled the scent of her hair brushing my neck. I had no idea what it was, but it was distinctly her, so distinctly from the sea. My whole body ached for her. I needed more than the chaste touches I had been living on after months of no intimate contact with Lothiriel. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and was pleasantly surprised when she turned and my lips with hers. Not able to control myself I immediately deepened the kiss, turning fully towards her and taking her face in my hands before letting them stray into her black hair.

I tried not to get ahead of myself but it was a feeling I had missed so much. My hands traveled over her body which had lost any plumpness from her pregnancy. In the previous months, she had become even thinner than when we were first married which probably bordered on the unhealthy, but in my lust-filled haze I could not think of the amount of food my wife was or was not eating.

Pulling her onto my lap, Lothiriel's skirt bunched around her hips and I ran my hands over her smooth thighs. Her arms went around my neck and as she bent toward me, I nibbled her earlobe before my mouth moved to her throat.

Lothiriel's chest rose and fell against mine and I fiddled with the laces of my breeches, finally freeing myself from their tight confines.

I guided her hips toward mine, I could feel her heat so close to enveloping me when she suddenly jerked away, nearly toppling off my lap. I groaned at the abrupt loss of contact.

"Eomer, I cannot," she whispered. There were tears welling in her eyes as she scrambled to stand, righting her dress.

"Have I done something wrong, Lothiriel?" I asked, flushed with embarrassment and guilt, fixing my breeches.

"No!" She exclaimed, taking my hands in hers. "You have been so patient and kind to me."

I caught a glimpse of a few, fat tears rolling down her cheeks before she put her forehead on my chest.

"I cannot get her out of my mind," she admitted. "I see her always."

Often, I found myself thinking of Artanis as well, but I was baffled by Lothiriel's complete inability to think of anything or anyone else.

"That is understandable," I said, though it was the complete opposite of what I was thinking. "I do not think any less of you." Her tearful eyes met mine and I swiped the wetness from her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs. "Let's go to bed," I said, gently guiding her to our bedroom.

Once we were changed and settled in the huge bed, Lothiriel lay with her back against my chest and my arms wrapped around her.

"Eomer?" She whispered.

"Hmm?" I was half asleep already.

"I love you."

My eyes opened at that. Neither of us had said those words before and if anyone would have asked me on the day of our wedding if I thought Lothiriel would ever stay them, let alone first, I would have said no. I would have staked my crown on it.

"I love you too," I replied and I meant it.

ooooOoooo

Unfortunately, Lothiriel and I were not able to partake in as many private dinners as I would have liked. We were often obliged to share meals in the dining hall with my advisors and other high standing families of Edoras.

On one particular evening, I was looking forward to such a public dinner. I would be announcing that Edoras would again be hosting a harvest celebration. It was late summer and all indicators pointed to Rohan having a successful harvest in the fall. We had gotten through the long, hot summer with aid from Dol Amroth and earlier that day I had heard back from Lothiriel's family that Amrothos, Elphir, and his small family would be attending the celebration.

That news had brightened Lothiriel's spirits dramatically. She had not seen most of her family since our wedding. She was especially looking forward to seeing her sister-in-law and nephew. As we were having dinner in the dining hall, she was whispering excitedly to Dernhild that Amrothos would be returning.

The reaction in the dining hall that met my announcement was exactly what I had hoped for. Rohan had not had a harvest celebration since before Saruman's shadow fell across the land. More ale was poured and a preview of the coming celebration ensued.

Later, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into my wife's face.

"I am going to retire for the evening," she said with a gentle smile.

"Would you like me to go with you?" I asked, starting to rise.

"No, no. Dernhild is coming with me. Stay and enjoy the night. You have earned it."

I pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before turning my attention back to the merriment.

The night wore on and everyone around me continued to enjoy themselves. I could not bring myself to partake in such a manner. Eventually, I go to my feet and walked amongst the others, stopping to chat with different advisors as I went along.

As I was speaking with one older man, a young woman came and stood beside him.

"Ah, Your Grace, I do not believe you have met my daughter, Aesa. She and her mother are staying in Edoras with me for the summer and they will certainly now be staying for the harvest celebration as well."

The girl dipped into a curtsy and I bowed my head slightly. "It is a pleasure, Aesa. I hope you are enjoying yourself here in the capital."

"Rest assured, Your Grace, the pleasure is mine."

After continuing to speak with her father for a moment, I excused myself to get a mug of ale.

"You do not seem as glad as you should after such an announcement, Your Grace."

I turned to see that Aesa had followed me to the ale barrel.

I studied her as I took a long drink. She was tall and powerfully built, the perfect shieldmaiden. Her blond hair was long and free. It came to my mind that she was the exact opposite of Lothiriel.

"I am very glad, but the worries of a King do not dissipate so easily."

"A good king, perhaps." She gave a coy smile.

I smiled back. "Thank you. That is kind of you to say."

"And completely warranted."

I had been shocked at all of the female attention I began to receive upon my coronation, but I had taken marriage vows almost immediately thereafter and had never paid it much mind.

Months had passed since my failed attempt at intimacy with Lothiriel. I had made more sporadic attempts, but they were all as unsuccessful as the first. I was losing my mind.

"You have kept up with my short rule?" I asked.

"Yes Your Grace. I ask my father about you in all of my letters."

"How thoughtful," I mused. I could not help but to drink in her body. I cared not if she noticed. She would probably be flattered

"I find myself often thinking of my King." Aesa took a bold step closer to me.

I could smell her. I found myself wondering what her breasts would feel like in my hands, what her mouth would taste like, and what sounds of pleasure she might make in the heat of the moment.

It was a steep slope after that train of thought began. My advisors had again been hounding me to produce an heir, but they did not understand how truly difficult that was proving to be. But I did not want to be intimate with Lothiriel for the sole purpose of procreation. I missed that part of our marriage tremendously.

"Have you visited our gardens yet?" I asked. I knew there was no such thing as privacy for a man of my rank, but we could at least leave the hall full of people.

"Not with the King," she replied boldly.

If anything came of my interaction with Aesa it would be an honor to her family. I had had to deal with daughters of advisors and other officials being pushed on me since the day I was coronated. It apparently, was the way of the royal world. These women were offered to me solely for the benefit of their male relations. Even though I was married the family of a lover or mistress would still benefit greatly, it was presumed.

I did not offer her my arm as we exited the hall, it was not required. However, I could feel everyone's eyes on their once chaste king. It should have stopped me in my tracks, but I was not to be deterred. I craved physical contact as though it were water and I was dying of thirst.

We moved as far away from any of the garden entrances as I could manage before stopping. I looked up into the stars that could be seen through the slight cloud cover. Aesa's body was very close to mine, I could feel her warmth.

"I have never done this before," I said quietly. "Never entertained a woman besides the Queen since we were wed." I said "the Queen" because it felt less personal than saying her name. I rarely addressed Lothiriel as the Queen to anyone, but it desensitized me from what was happening between Aesa and I.

"Well perhaps we should call it me seducing you." Aesa's voice had dropped into a husky whisper that had me turning to face her for more, but she was already on her tiptoes, hands on my chest, pressing her lips to mine.

ooooOoooo

I was as quiet as I possibly could be when I returned to the bedroom where Lothiriel was already sleeping. I did not let my eyes linger on her sleeping form, but tried to use myself gently into the bed. For a man of my stature, I should have expected I might jostle her awake, but I was still startled when heard her groggy voice.

"How was the rest of your night?"

I did not skip a beat.

"It was fine. Just the usual merrymaking."

"Hmm," she murmured before instantly falling back asleep.

Darkness enveloped me as I turned my back to her and closed my eyes.

So there you have it. Let me know what you think. Be honest, per usual. By the way, Aesa means "to incite war" in Old Norse. Sorry if this broke any hearts. I'm not sure where we'll go from here. Tell me what to do!

Happy reading,

Avonmora