I know the last chapter was hard for everyone and for that I am sorry, however I thought that I should not sugar coat things and should be true to the situation and what might occur if so much stress were put on a real world relationship. I hope you can understand that. Here is the next installment of the saga. Enjoy!

Chapter Eighteen (Lothiriel)

I could not stop myself from running down the steps of Meduseld when I heard that my family was approaching. I was waiting for them as soon as they dismounted their horses and was glad to be enveloped by several pairs of arms even if they all did smell of long travels.

I led them all in to the guest chambers that had been arranged and we chatted amicably and caught up with one another. I very much wanted to reach out and take Alphros, but I had not held a child since Artanis had passed and I was not sure if I was ready.

"Where is Eomer?" Klymena asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"That is a very good question," I replied. "I have not seen him since this morning."

"We rulers are busy people," Elphir told his wife.

Klymena just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"I am sure he will be around to greet everyone soon."

While everyone got settled, I went to Eomer and I's room to relax for bit. I had been hard at work preparing Meduseld for the harvest celebration and all of the guests we would be accommodating.

Eomer did not appear until dinner that night. It was a much smaller affair with just my family as they had been the first to arrive in Rohan. The big feast was schedule for a couple of nights later. There was still much to be done.

"So the harvest was as successful as you had hoped?" My father asked Eomer.

I turned to my husband. "More so if you can believe it." He took a swallow of ale. "We should have enough excess to stand on our own during the coming winter."

My father nodded approvingly. "That is excellent news," he replied.

"Indeed it is, though of course your help through everything has been the reason we have even been able to harvest again."

The gratitude was waved away. "I am sure we will need your assistance at some point in the future, though I hope that it is Elphir who has to deal with it. I am growing to old to handle much more than peaceful times."

Everyone laughed lightly at that and the dinner passed in a contented manner, everyone glad to be with family once more, me especially.

Eomer and I bid everyone goodnight and as we departed the private dining room, I took his hand in mine, smiling at the familiar heat he emanated. "Would you walk with me for a bit in the gardens? It is a beautiful night."

"I wish I could, Lothiriel. Unfortunately, there is much left to attend to."

"Is there anything I can help with? I hate to think of you up working all night."

"No, no you rest yourself. You have done much already." He kissed my forehead quickly before disappearing down the corridor.

ooooOoooo

The next afternoon, Elphir came and joined Klymena, Alphros, and I where we had been enjoying the autumn sunshine in the gardens.

"I went to try and speak with your husband, about what I cannot now remember, but his study door was locked." He looked at me curiously. "Is that a signal for something? That he is working on something very important and he should not be bothered?"

I shook my head. "I know not. I have never known him to lock his study door while he is in it." I shrugged. "Did you yell through the door?"

Elphir nodded. "He said we could speak later and that he was busy."

I shrugged again. "He has been quite occupied with preparing everything for the coming celebration. He worked quite late last night after we had dinner."

"I hope he will be able to enjoy himself at the celebration," Klymena said. She was rocking Alphros back and forth as he dozed in her lap.

"I am sure he will. It is almost here."

"Elphir will you please take your son to bed? He is much too heavy to keep holding for hours and we were having such a nice time before you joined us talking of boring ruling matters," Klymena teased her husband with a smile.

"Anything you wish," Elphir kissed her quickly on the lips and gently took his son away.

Klymena waited until he had left. "Lothiriel, be truthful is it terribly hard to be around Alphros?"

I sighed. "I love him, Klymena, I do, but I must admit he makes me miss Artanis all the more." I looked at the ground. "She would never grow to be so big," I whispered so my voice would not break.

Klymena had tears in her eyes. "I am so sorry that happened to you. You did not deserve such a thing. I cannot even begin to imagine." She squeezed my hand. "I am sure you will have another chance."

I nodded. "Perhaps we should go in, it is getting a bit cold."

Klymena nodded and we spoke no more on the topic. Just as we came around the corner, the door to Eomer's study opened and a woman hurried out going away from us. She did not see us in her haste, but my stomach dropped and I gripped Klymena's arm. We both stood stock still watching until she turned another corner.

"He cannot find me here," I whispered, but I could not move. In my heart I knew what I had just seen and it had paralyzed me. "Klymena, get me out of here," I said frantically.

She drug me along until we reached her rooms. By that point, I could not breathe or think or do anything.

"Lothiriel," Klymena began.

"What am I going to do?"

"What do you mean? You are going to confront him about this!" Klymena was pacing in front of me where I sat on the foot of her bed.

"I cannot do that," I replied.

"What? Of course you can. That is ridiculous; he cannot do this to you."

"I told him he could, Klymena." She looked at me, flabbergasted. "I told him before we married that I did not care if he wanted to…I do not know, have a mistress."

"Why would you tell him that?" She demanded.

"It was when we were not so fond of each other. I thought it would be easier that way, if I just turned the other cheek. I thought it would be less work for me if he already had someone he was attracted to, but then we grew closer and I did not think it was an issue or that he would ever take those words seriously. Not now."

"Lothiriel, I do not know what to say." She sat down next to me.

"We have not been intimate since before Artanis was born. It is hard to blame anyone but myself." I put my head in my hands and Klymena rubbed my back.

"You were grieving, Lothiriel. This is not fair of him."

"How long could he wait?" I sighed and felt the wave of sadness break over me. "This is my doing."

"Do not say that, of course it is not your doing. You lost a child and it would be expected that everything else fell to the wayside."

"I stopped being his wife and became another duty that he had to take care of." Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I looked at my sister-in-law and closest friend. "Do not tell Elphir. He will tell the other two and they could not possibly understand the intricacies of this."

I could see the conflict on Klymena's face as I stood to leave. She and Elphir were such an open couple, I imagined she rarely kept anything from him. "Of course not. What are you going to do?"

"I do not know. I truly do not."

"Let me know if there is anything I can do," she said as I left the bedroom.

ooooOoooo

I tried to keep my mind occupied in the few days before the celebration with greeting and entertaining guests as well as seeing to the final details of the feast. It did not work. All I could think of was that woman coming out of Eomer's locked study and his eagerness to depart my side the night before because he had "work" to do.

As I sat in front of my burnished mirror preparing for the event, I could not imagine how I would get through the evening. I imagined that my husband's new companion would be in attendance and I wondered if everyone else in our court already knew of the scandal. Could I be so naïve and blind to be the only one who had not known?

I jumped in fright as the door to our inner chamber opened and Eomer's low chuckle reached my ears. "I am sorry, Lothiriel. I did not mean to frighten you." He stood behind my low stool and bent to place a kiss on the top of my head. "What were you thinking so intently upon?"

"The celebration of course," I tried to return a smile, but I know it came out forced.

Eomer continued to look at me in the mirror for a moment longer before moving away. "I need to bathe."

Now that I was looking out for them, that seemed to be another warning clue. Eomer was not particularly fond of bathing and tried to do it as infrequently as possible, but I imagined there was a particular scent he needed to scrub away from his skin. There was no offer for me to join him.

I berated myself in my head for thinking that there would have been. I had not let him touch me in nearly a year. Truthfully, though I was hurt beyond all belief I found it hard to blame him. I became mad with myself for even letting myself be so hurt. Ours was a marriage of convenience and political gain. Aragorn, the King of Gondor, had had a hand in matching us together.

I sat silently, fighting the lump in my throat and the pounding of my heart. I could not, for the life of me, fathom what had happened between the two of us. Our relationship had escaped me. I had lost it. I had not been there for him. I had not been there for the healing that we should have done together.

"Are you ready?" Eomer asked, nearly an hour later when he was clean and dressed in his celebration finery, black breeches and a dark green tunic.

I looked in the mirror one last time. I had fastened my dark hair into a tight bun at the base of my head and reached for my golden circlet. The one I had been given on my wedding day, the day I became of Queen of Rohan. I placed it securely around my forehead and stood.

Eomer offered an arm. I hesitated, but knew that I must take it. He smiled down at me and patted my hand that rested on his forearm. "Is everything alright, Lothiriel?" He asked. "You seem distracted."

"I am fine. Just going over everything in my head," I replied.

"I cannot wait to see what you have put together."

"I hope it will please you."

"How could it not?"

We made our way through the wooden doors to the dining hall and everyone applauded the young, beautiful King and Queen of Rohan. We took our seats at the high table and remained standing while Eomer spoke.

"It is with great joy that we celebrate our successful harvest tonight! For a while, we were not sure if there would be one, but Rohan has prevailed and we are on our way to regaining our former glory! I will keep this brief as I know we are all eager for the ale to flow, but just know that you may eat and drink tonight past your fill and there will still be excess!" He waited for the roars and applause of approval to die down. "We must be thankful to our friends and allies tonight! Without them we would not have been able to last until harvest! Include them in our merriment and show them a true Rohirric celebration!" Eomer gave a signal and the music started up and the barrels of ale were uncorked.

"That was a wonderful speech," I said as he sat down.

"Thank you." He gave a proud smile. "You have done amazing, Lothiriel; truly outdone yourself." I looked around. I had. The centerpieces were made up of stalks of corn and pumpkins as well as colorful fall leaves. The smell of the food that I had instructed be prepared was making mouths water across the hall.

"I am so happy you like it," I said, squeezing his hand. Whatever my feelings were I knew I could not act them out in front of our people and allies.

Later in the evening, after I had endured a few dances with my husband, I was sitting at the high table alone. Eomer had gone to mingle among his guests and I had promised that I would join him.

Amrothos joined me. "Is it a breach of protocol if I sit in the King's seat?' He asked me.

I laughed lightly. "The Rohirrim are much less strict about their protocol than we are of ours." I looked out over the dancing people and searched the crowd for my husband. "Where is Dernhild?"

"She is putting Bregdan down. She figured it would be best to do it before the celebration got too good to tear herself away from."

I did not reply. I caught sight of Eomer and he was standing off to the side of the hall with a woman. She was older than I and taller and stronger. Her features were striking and would catch anyone's attention, the perfect specimen of a shieldmaiden. I could not be certain that she was the one I had seen come out of Eomer's study, but I was almost positive. As I watched, I saw him offer his arm and walk with her across the room to the exit to the gardens.

"Loth, who is that woman?" Amrothos asked in a low whisper.

I could not answer. I could only watch. No one else seemed to pay much mind, perhaps they were used to it already. I had been blind to so much that had been going on around me for such a long time. The affair might be very old news.

"Loth!" Amrothos whispered more urgently when he saw my stony face. "What in all of Arda is going on?" He demanded.

I remained silent. I could not speak.

"If you do not answer me, I will find out for myself," he threatened.

He went to stand, but I grasped his arm firmly. "No!" He turned to him finally. "You do not understand."

"What do I not understand about infidelity?" He took my hand and held it tight. "Because that is what it is, is it not? That is why Elphir said his study was locked, is it not?"

"Amrothos, please." I looked at him pleadingly. "Now is not the time or place."

"To hell if it is not!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Dernhild behind me.

"Amrothos, what are you going on about?"

I stood and spoke before he could. "It matters not." I took her hand. "I know that you just put your son to bed, but would you walk with me to my chambers?"

"Of course," she responded without question. "Is everything alright?"

"No."

"What was your brother so fired up about?"

I fought back tears that had been threatening all evening. "Dernhild, I can speak no more of it today, but you will hear from Amrothos I am sure."

She did not question me.

"Try to calm him down if you can," I said, making one final request. "You are my truest friend Dernhild. I am so glad I met you and that you have been here with me through all of this."

We approached the door to my chambers and I wrapped my arms around the taller shieldmaiden. "Thank you for everything you have done."

I entered my rooms and sat at my vanity. As I took my golden circlet off a wave of rage so powerful washed over me that I could only hurl the thing against the wall and listen as it clanged to the floor. I sat at the mirror and looked at myself. The year had worn me down. I did not look as young or as cheerful as I once had.

Relief came a little bit as I undid the tight bun and let my hair fall. As I brushed it, tears began to fall and before I knew it, I was shaking from the sobs. I sobbed and sobbed. I could not stop for the life of me.

The door opened and I jumped, wiping quickly at my eyes and face. I knew my skin would be red and blotchy and there would not be much I could do to hide it.

"Lothiriel!" His footsteps thundered towards me. "What is the matter? Are you ill? Dernhild said you would be here. Were you not enjoying yourself?"

I finally turned to look up at him. I was not strong enough to stand and face him, so I sat, defeated.

"I know, Eomer," I said after a long pause. The words escaped my lips. I had not been intending to say them or to let him know that I knew of his indiscretion, but the words fell from my mouth of their own volition.

"What are you talking about?" He reached down to lay a palm on my forehead. "Your face is red. Do you have a fever?"

"I know, Eomer," I repeated.

He straightened and stared down at me for a long moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.

"I am not mad. I said long ago that I would not care if you had female companions. Before we married. Do you remember?"

"She means nothing to me, Lothiriel."

"She must. You are not the kind of man who takes anything lightly." I stood and walked away, over to the window.

He did not move towards me and he, again, seemed lost for words. "Lothiriel, you must believe that my heart is breaking to see the pain I have caused you."

"Eomer, this was how it was always supposed to be. We were never supposed to get close to one another. This has all been political. You have gained much from the alliance with my father. That is what our marriage is for."

"How can you say such a thing?" He demanded, coming to stand behind me. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him. "I care for you deeply. I love you! And I will never defend what I have done, I cannot. I am ashamed of myself."

"You have always had such high standards for yourself. You were a soldier once, but you were married to a stranger. As a King this is your right."

I looked up into those brown eyes that I had stared at so many nights, lying in our bed. The hands that held my arms had once wrapped around my waist and tangled in my hair. How had I lost that?

Well as always, let me know what you think. I have enjoyed the honesty that has come from the reviewers after this last brutal chapter. Keep it up (as long as it is constructive).

Happy reading,

Avonmora