Guys, I seriously underestimated my workload this semester. Bear with me as I try to update as frequently as possible. Also, sorry it's shorter than the rest. I just wanted to get something out there. Let me know if this is believable. So here we go!

Chapter Nineteen (Eomer)

"How can you say these things?" I demanded. I was so angry with myself and I was becoming angry with Lothiriel for not being angry at me.

"Eomer, be realistic. We should never have pretended that this relationship was going to be anything besides what it was meant to be, an arranged marriage between two strangers. Obviously, in that situation, it is natural to have inclinations to want to be with people that are more familiar and pleasing."

I dropped her arms as if I had been burnt. My mouth could form no other words and so I headed for the door, leaving her behind me, needing to be far away from her disappointment and hurt that she was hiding from me.

I walked aimlessly, but soon was nearing my study. The sight of the sturdy wooden door made my stomach lurch.

"There you are!" I turned to see Aesa coming toward me. "I have been looking everywhere for you. You did not say that we were leaving."

"We were not leaving," I emphasized 'we.' "We are through," I said quietly.

"What?" She asked.

"I said, we are through. This tryst cannot continue on any longer."

"You do not mean that." She put her hands on my arm and looked up at me. "We have had such fun, have we not?"

"I do mean it. It is over, Aesa."

She laughed scornfully. "Are you returning to your Queen?" When I did not answer she continued, "How can you think she will please you. You sought me for a reason. She was not pleasing you. She is not strong enough for you. She cannot handle you as I do, the meek little Gondoran."

I seized her wrist tightly in my large hand. "I would bite your tongue. Your words border on treason."

"You cannot mean this," she said again.

I released her, nearly throwing her arm away from me. "I do. Leave me."

Aesa looked at me pleadingly before I averted my gaze and she turned on her heel, stomping down the corridor. I could only hope that she would depart with her mother sooner rather than later.

I wandered aimlessly for what seemed like hours, running everything through my mind. My uncle had had affairs, I remembered them quite distinctly. I did not remember his wife, Elfhild. She had died in childbirth as was the curse of many mothers, but after that I remember Theoden bringing a different shieldmaiden to almost every celebration or gathering. It had never hindered his ruling ability, but he was certainly never lonely.

After a while, I heard more footsteps behind me. I had wandered quite far away from the celebrations and even far away from most of the guest chambers.

"Eomer-King," it was a man's voice and before I could turn someone had grabbed me forcefully and spun me around before shoving me into the wall. I had not been manhandled in such a way since before I was King. I looked down into the angry red face of Amrothos.

"Unhand him, Amrothos," Elphir said in a measured voice.

My youngest brother-in-law gave me one last jerk into the stone wall behind me for good measure.

"So Lothiriel has told you," I started.

Amrothos gave a bitter laugh. "Our sister said nothing. She has protected you and why I will never understand. You deserve her scorn. The last thing you deserve is any sort of protection. No Lothiriel has not told on you. You make it obvious to everyone what you are doing. What you are doing to our sister, to your Queen! You humiliate her in front of the people who have grown to love her!"

I sighed.

"Are you terribly put upon, Eomer?" Elphir asked drily, stepping forwards.

I met his gaze though I felt completely hollow inside. Not like the man I had been before at all.

"The last time I caught you doing something I did not care for, I thought I would run you through with my sword, but now I should need to think of something much more painful and drawn out."

"What I cannot fathom is the fact that you would do this to our sister, when you have your own," Erchirion said. He had stayed back with his arms crossed over his chest. "Can you imagine Faramir dishonoring your sister in such a manner, Eomer? Can you imagine the rage you would feel? What you would want to do such a despicable man?"

I could not get a word in edgewise. I did not deserve to speak and the sons of Imrahil were making that abundantly clear.

"It is clear that the men of Rohan live their lives according to different standards," Elphir said. "Why my father ever allowed Lothiriel to be thrown to the King of such low men, I shall never understand and I shall always regret his decision.

"I cannot justify this," I finally said.

"It is past the time for excuses regardless," Amrothos said. "I was here when she bore your daughter. I saw what pain that was, I saw how she suffered through it, I heard her screams. I know how distraught she was when Artanis passed, as well." His voice got louder with every word and I could see the emotion flooding his face. "You left her alone to carry that burden. You forsook your vows and ignored her grief!"

Tears pricked my own eyes once more. Nothing they said was wrong.

"Come Amrothos," Elphir said. He gave me one last glance. "Our father will hear of this. Even if Lothiriel will not tell him herself."

I remained leaning against the wall for a long moment before moving once more. I could not go lie down anywhere. I couldn't think of trying to sleep.

I made my way to the stables. Firefoot would not ask any questions or shoot accusations my way.

The brush felt natural in my hand as I ran it down his whole body. He nickered softly and nudged my shoulder with his nose.

"I am sorry it has been so long, old friend."

"As he lost your time and attention because of your mistress as well?"

I tensed. How much more would I have to go through in one night?

Eowyn was behind me, her hands on her hips.

"Please, I am begging you not to do this," I said quietly. "I have already been put in my place by all three of her brothers and had words with Aesa."

"I assume that is the mistress, though I will not dignify her by speaking her name." Eowyn came toward the pen. "I will not hold off, brother. I am ashamed of you."

"I truly do not know how you can stand there and say such things when you have hated Lothiriel from the get go. How will you reprimand me?"

"I do not do if for her, though certainly no woman deserves such a thing. I say these things for myself." Her voice lost its edge. "You have been my hero my entire life, Eomer; all that I have had in this world until very recently. I never thought you could do anything wrong."

"Eowyn," I began.

"Let me finish." She took a deep breath. "I thought you were what a man should be. I have searched for someone like you my entire life. What does this mean for my marriage?"

"This means nothing for your marriage, Eowyn. All relationships are different. I believe you and Faramir have loved each other from the moment you set eyes on one another."

"I thought you had grown to love her! When you wrote of her in your letters, my animosity grew less and less towards her. She was making you happier than I had seen in a very long time." She paused. "Everything can change. No one is who you think they are."

I was being pummeled on a hundred different sides. Everyone hated me for their own personal reasons, but it was all because of my decisions.

"No they are not," I agreed. "Things changed between us, but that is no excuse for what I did. I have no excuses Eowyn. I can only be remorseful."

"I have never been so disappointed," Eowyn said before she turned on her heel and left me in silence with Firefoot once more.

ooooOoooo

The sunrise found me huddled in the stall with Firefoot. I had never left.

"Eomer-King, might I have a word?"

I looked up. Prince Imrahil was looking down at me, where I sat still in my celebratory garb, wrapped tightly in my cloak.

It was what I had been dreading, but I stood regardless.

"Of course."

"Perhaps somewhere more appropriate. Your study?"

I blanched. "That will work."

We walked there in silence. I pushed the door open and let Imrahil in before me. I could not look at the desk.

"So this is where it happened then?" He asked bluntly.

"Is that important?" I returned quietly.

"Not particularly. What is important is that you betrayed my daughter in the first place."

I nodded. "Yes."

"That is all you have to say for yourself?"

"There is no defense."

Imrahil sighed. "Do you remember when she did not want to live here, let alone marry you?"

He waited for my acknowledgement and so I nodded.

"In private I told her what a noble and kind husband you would be to her. How she would be happy here with you and would grow to enjoy it."

"You have not only lied to her, but you have made a liar out of me and that is something I never intended to be to my children." Like his sons, his voice raised. "I would imagine this happens far less frequently in Gondor than it does here."

I sat down heavily behind the desk, keeping my hands off of it, merely enduring.

"She did grow to love it. She cared for this place and these people when you did not. She risked her own well-being and that of your child to see that your people made it through another winter. There might have been no harvest celebration without Lothiriel, do you recognize that?"

I nodded once more.

"I was here when she was grieving. I saw how broken she was. I fear for her well-being now. How will she recover from this second blow?" He asked.

"Imrahil, I have been foolish and careless and cruel. I never meant to harm Lothiriel."

"How did you imagine that this would not harm her? She was as fragile then as I have ever seen her. My daughter has been brought very low. You were not there for her."

"I thought she would never return to herself."

"And she might not now. You are faithless. You cannot just discard someone that you are married to. Those vows are sacred and binding. At least where we come from." He paused. "Can you imagine if your daughter had lived and someone had done this to her?"

The breath froze in my chest and for a moment I could not speak.

"I will do everything I can to make this right, Imrahil."

"I am afraid I cannot trust you with that task. Have my daughter sent for."

I stood, not sure what Lothiriel was needed for, but I flagged down the nearest servant.

"Have the Queen sent to my study please," I said. I remained in the corridor for a brief moment longer, in need of any respite I could manage to get.

Pushing the door open, I looked Imrahil in the eye. I was not a coward. I was a fraud.

Lothiriel came in a moment later. There were purple bags underneath her eyes and her skin looked sallow.

"You shall be leaving with me," Imrahil told her. "I do not want you to remain here."

She looked between me and her father before looking at the ground.

"No."

"Lothiriel, what do you mean?" He asked roughly.

"I mean I shall remain here." She met his gaze and I was struck by the similarities between the two of them, the jutting jaw, and proud cheekbones. "I am the Queen here. I cannot leave. I do not have that luxury."

"I am offering to take you with me, daughter."

"And I am turning you down."

Imrahil stared at her for a moment. "I do not understand."

"To be quite honest, neither do I." Lothiriel looked at me. "There has been much that we have not handled well. But he will always be my husband and since that is the case we cannot go on like this. We must struggle on. Leaving will solve nothing."

"I am not a man of violence when in peace times, but I swear to my gods and yours, Eomer that if something like this happens again I will see to it that you will suffer beyond reason," Imrahil said in a low growl.

"You will have to wait your turn behind your sons," I said, no hint of a jest in my voice.

"Father," Lothiriel said gently.

"I do not understand this." Imrahil took her hands in his. "But I will acquiesce to you."

"Thank you."

Without another word, Imrahil kissed her forehead and left us alone. The silence crushed me.

"I do not deserve this." I ran a hand through my hair.

"Might we go somewhere else?"

"Of course. Anything." I led her out and she headed for our bedroom. The place where we had made love so many times before.

"Lothiriel," I began.

"Eomer, I cannot talk anymore. I have talked all night with my brothers, with Klymena, with Eowyn even."

"Then what would you have me do?"

"I wish to sleep. You also look as though you could use a rest."

I allowed a small smile to cross my face. "There has never been a truer statement." I slipped my cloak from my shoulders and hung it on the end of the bed. "I shall leave you." I headed for the door to our sitting room.

"The most ironic part is that I cannot sleep without you."

I turned back around to stare at her. "Are you sure?"

She nodded her head and turned, lifting her hair from her back. I went to her and unlaced the ties of her dress, a comforting routine that we had fallen out of. She wore a slip beneath. She turned her side of the bed down and moved under the covers.

"Are you entirely comfortable?" I asked, kicking my boots off.

"Just lay down," she said.

I did as she bade, but did not reach out to touch her or hold her and before I knew it the familiar scent of her washed over me and I was asleep.

I awoke and the sun had set. There was a fire going in the grate and Lothiriel was propped on her elbow looking down at me.

"Did you sleep?"

"I did."

I did not speak. I did not want to ruin the moment. I was so unsure of what might happen between us.

"What do we do now, Eomer?" She asked.

I sighed. "That is up to you, Lothiriel. I am quite literally at your mercy."

"This was not an isolated event. There have been a number of things that have brought us here."

"Why are you not angry with me?" I asked. "You should want to tear me limb from limb."

"I could not do that."

"If it were me, I would want to."

"I will keep that in mind," she said with a gentle smile. "We have both made mistakes. We have both been under considerable duress."

"Lothiriel, I cannot accept how you are handling this. I have done you an enormous injustice."

"I will not say otherwise, but I was not a good wife to you for a very long time."

I reached out to graze a thumb over cheek. "There were extenuating circumstances. You were doing your best."

"And it was not good enough. We have both not been our best, but I am finding it difficult to believe that these past few months define us or our relationship. We were strong once, were we not?"

I nodded. "Yes. We were strong." I paused. "Perhaps that is what got us. Our belief that nothing might touch us. I was so surprised when I realized our strong our bond was. I became comfortable in that knowledge."

"It brought us very low." I could not tear my gaze from her face and the raven hair that framed it.

"If I am to continue on here, I cannot believe that we cannot recover from this."

I remained silent. I could not believe what I was hearing. How in all of Arda could this woman before me want to have anything to do with me?

"I cannot think of leaving this place. It has become my home. You have become my home."

"I swear to you, Lothiriel, I will work every day to be the husband you deserve."

She nodded. "I truly hope so."

Though her words were kind, I knew that I would have to devote myself fully to the task before me. I could not immediately go back to being the man I had been before. I had a very long way to climb.

I don't know how happy I am with this, but I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know, but be kind or constructive.

Happy reading,

Avonmora