It was an interesting night indeed. Between watching Lisbon for any sign of her being sick and cleaning up the mess she made when he missed those signs he had a lot of time to think. He stopped feeling angry the minute he saw her on the floor. She was just trying to help. Like always. And he refused the help. Like many times before.
He though about Angela, how she begged him to stop coning people, and how he always ignored it. He made a lot of money back then, they were living large. What was he supposed to do? Sales like she suggested it? He laughed at that back then but Angela did not. It made her sad.
But he didn´t listened to her. His ego was too big back then, he felt like on the top of the world. Maybe he was on the top of the world. For a while. Then he fell right at the bottom.
He didn´t listened Angela, now he´s got another chance.
His thoughts were interrupted by Lisbon´s coughing.
A long night was ahead of him.
He kneeled town to her and put a bucket he found near her head.
Then, he waited.
Her head felt like somebody cracked it open and put a hot wire in it. Every little move she tried ended up in feeling even worse. And the sun! The light...it was too much. The birds chirping outside were driving her crazy. What happened to her?
Her mind was blank except few moments. One thing was sure, Jane did left yesterday. She remembered him storming out of the door.
She remembered drinking. Mixing wine with tequila was not a good idea at all.
That´s why her head feels like its going to explode any minute. Not that she would complain, it would put her our of the misery.
So, Jane left. And she got drunk because of it? It seemed appropriate.
She remembered lying on the bathroom floor because it felt cold. How did she go to bed then? She couldn´t remember.
She tried to open her eyes, the sunlight beams felt like laser beams. She groaned and looked around. Windows were open and there was a glass of water with aspirin on the bedside table.
Did she do this? It seemed highly unlikely. She fought the urge to call for Jane, not knowing whether he left or not, and tried to stood up. It took her some time but eventually she managed. Standing up was even worse that lying, but she had the worst taste in her mouth. She needed to wash it away and then go back to bed. With small steps she approached the bathroom door but something stopped her. There was noise coming from the bathroom, as if somebody was showering. She listened for a moment leaning over the door. It was definitely water running.
Was it Jane? She couldn´t recall whether he came back or not, but the aspirin and the water were put up there by someone. And someone brought her to bed, too.
No point in going in the bathroom now. She went to bed again, hoping that Jane did return. Who else it would be, anyway?
Jane was showering, because, well, he needed it. He never seen Lisbon so wasted. They really should not put so many things at the pizza he made...
When she finally felt asleep it was almost morning and he left for his shower only when he was sure she wont get sick again. During the night he tried to think about her as his best friend, maybe the only real one he had left, but when he held her hair, and then wiped her mouth he realized that she is more than just a friend to him. He cares about her, deeply. And she cares for him for sure. For God´s sake they slept together on the couch, in her bed...Lisbon, the one who protects her private life so much, invited him to her house and let him stay. Let him sleep with her and hold him when he needed it. She took days off of work, for him. A workaholic she was and yet she stayed at home to take care of the sorry ass of his. And he was so lost in his own guilt, self-loathing that he overlooked this. Took it for granted even. Then, he left. He felt like such an idiot.
Before she lied down back to bed, she took the aspirin hoping it will help. So far nothing. Her head was still killing her and the stomach now full of water was another problem. So she just lied and tried not to move at all. After a while she realized that the water has stopped running. She kept her eyes closed, wishing that Jane would come out of there and tell her that he is not mad.
Because she remembered he was. What did she say to him? She tried to remember.
He yelled. That´s what she remembered. Jane yelling was and unusual sight but she hoped never to see it again. She must have told him something...something...
Oh.
It hit her.
She told him he need to stop feeling guilty.
„Smooth," she mumbled to herself.
She sighed.
The bathroom door opened and she dared to look there. It was Jane, standing there, with his hair damp, only in his shirt and pants. She felt so relieved it was indeed him. But before he could say anything she jumped out of the bed and despite her condition run to bathroom almost knocking him off. All the water she drink was trying to get out of her upset stomach.
And it did. Jane helped her, holding her hair and she shivered at the touch. When she was done she washed her mouth and Jane half carried her to bed.
So he had returned. If she wasn´t feeling the way she did, it would made her happy. Right now all she could feel was relief. And nausea.
„I am so sorry, Jane," she said hoarsely.
He was sitting at her side of the bed, tucking her in again.
„Shh, you did nothing wrong - „
„But I-"
„No „but" Lisbon, I am the one who is sorry. We will talk when you feel a bit better, okay? Just try to sleep some more. It´ll help, trust me."
„Okay..."
„I´ll be right here, if you need anything, okay?"
„Thanks," she mumbled, trying not to move too much and hoping the sleep will help her. She also hoped that Jane would stay, but she wasn´t so sure.
He sat on the other side of her bed, with a book in his hand. He used the other hand to cover Lisbon´s squeezing it lightly.
She slept for three more hours and Jane stayed the whole time, watching her. She mumbled a lot in her sleep which amused him a little. He was almost done with his book when she opened her eyes and groaned. She still looked pale, but a hangover is a hangover. It will get better eventually.
„Hello," he said.
„Hi," she said sitting up.
Jane put away the book and turned to her.
„How do you feel? Better?"
„A little, yeah..."
„That´s good," he said smiling at her.
„Look Jane, I am sorry," she said again and he could see the hurt in her eyes.
„No, stop it, okay? As I said before you did nothing wrong, I am the one who is sorry. And I am, Lisbon. You are only trying to help me and it is not your fault I am not good with letting you do it."
„But I shouldn´t said those words. I -"
„No, you should, and I am glad you did. Stop blaming yourself for something you have nothing to do with, okay? It is not your fault I left. It is entirely on me. But I came back. I wanted to apologize. When I walked around I got some time to think. And you are right. I can´t get better if I keep focusing on the past. I can´t change the past, no matter what I do, but the future, the future I can change. And I want to."
Lisbon tried so much not to start sobbing but it seemed impossible. She turned her head away, not wanting Jane to see her like this but he reached for her and snuggled her closer.
„I am a mess," she said.
Jane just chuckled.
It´s okay, Teresa, we both are."
The use of her name made her sobs even bigger. He held her tight and she cried tears of relief that he came back, until her head starting to hurt even more.
Jane wiped tears from her cheeks with his thumbs and smiled at her.
Looking at her he realized how beautiful she was even now, hungover and eyes all red from crying. And it made him realize that if there is any salvation, as they call if for him, it´s the woman in front of him. She smiled , just a little smile, and he let her go. They sure need to talk some more, but first he needed to take care of her for a little while longer. You didn´t need a highly trained observer to see that she is still in pain.
„I should go and clean myself up," she said.
„You sure? Don´t you want to lie just a little longer?"
„Uh, no, maybe. I will lie down later."
„Okay, I will make you some coffee, just half a cup so your headache wont be worse because of the caffeine withdrawal which you are definitely having."
She just huffed.
„I don´t have anything like that," she said, heading for bathroom, rubbing her temples.
„Trust me, you do."
„I don´t."
„I´ll be waiting downstairs, if you need anything just shout."
He waited for three minutes until the water started running. Then, he headed to the kitchen to make some coffee.
And tea.