(RedDestiny92: warning with dark themes...depression, attempted suicide comes in here.)

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Fourteen

Touko sighed as she rubbed her hands together she asked Concordia if she had any of that miracle medicine to help Paul. He'd have to wait for his arm to heal normally but she did have some pain meds and she was quick to make her way to the infirmary. She only stopped by again to tell Touko that he was going to be fine, she would have stayed but Touko assured her that she was fine being alone. She rested her head on her knees she was glad that they came with the cream she didn't know if she'd still bruise but she didn't feel anything, Anthea told her that they were experimental made by Colress she wondered about that. Though he wasn't here to question.

It was late not that she could really sleep she hadn't been too sure what she would see though she'd take whatever to see that her friends, humans and pokemon were safe. She jumped as the corner shifted, darkness swallowed it until a bit of white pushed forward. She crawled back slowly, the set of soulless eyes staring at her had her up and heading for the door.

"Don't be afraid."

She stopped as the darkness blocked her path.

"I am...one of the Triad you must go check on Ghetsis he's not often completely stable now a days."

"What the hell for? If he wanted to talk to me he'd just come demand his way into my room."

He glanced at the clock, it was nearly four in the morning.

"Since you were met with his rage he completed his meeting which only took fifteen minutes then he spent his time drinking he may be too out of it to come looking for you."

"...He was too out of it earlier I don't want him attacking me while he's drunk."

"We strapped him down, you're not meant to drink exessively while being tested, one drink, otherwise it could push you...make one more violent. You are his partner, you are responsible for him."

"Responsible? If he's strapped down I don't need to do anything...and he was fine on his own before." she snapped turning to her bed.

"Not really...violence is not directed toward others but ones self, you have seen what he can do if he wishes to shred the restraints then he can. He could kill himself."

She stopped and glanced at him, Ghetsis showed his instability and she got off light with that..that didn't mean she wanted him to die.

"..You're not serious."

"I have no reason to lie about that, do you think you could sense he was in danger fast enough to stop him if it wasn't a bluff?" he shifted and tossed a file at her feet before fading she looked down before picking it up.

It was full of reports, a few notes each dated.

Subject G...experiencing more weightloss, appears to be disgusted with reflection yelled at himself for hours before shattering the glass. Aimless roaming, a string of him just watching the wall before they noticed he became docile after cutting himself. Became violent when we attempted to take the glass away.

She shivered, all it was signed was that it was fascinating watching him.

She looked down there were more notes each straight to the point, always ending with him attempting to cut his own neck. He was weak from the dose he tried then he failed, she put the file in her desk which she could also lock and moved to leave her room. She found her way to his room and let herself in of course no one locked it. Closing the door behind her she went to the glass doors and found those were locked. She paused seeing that she'd been right he was asleep but he had ripped free of the bindings and handcuffs easily she closed the door behind her thinking of the pros and cons of being in here when even one of the Triad thought to come warn her. Still she moved to sit on his desk just keeping and eye on him there was a bit of shadow crawling up the wall before the doors were unlocked.

She slid off the desk they really were the most loyal to Ghetsis he shifted and her mouth fell seeing his wrists in the light. The jagged remains of the handcuffs had been his weapon of choice, she went to his desk wondering if he had a first aid kit too. Hearing her moving around he sat up quickly she stopped and looked over her shoulder he looked at her or rather in her direction the dazed look on his face said what state he was in. He had pulled his shirt off and only stood in pants wandering over he seemed to be trying to figure out who she was.

"Ghetsis stop I'm trying to help you."

He eyed her slowly.

"...Ghetsis...who is that..?"

She stared hard at him.

"That's you...you're Ghetsis.."

"...Just Subject...I think they call me..It sometimes.."

She stared at him.

"You're not It or Subject...you're Ghetsis now sit down I need the medkit..." she said firmly he sat down slowly.

She just felt like she knew where it was...hard to say why.

"Bottom drawer, that's where...he keeps it."

She eyed him as she looked down pulling the kit out she moved to pull out a clean cloth to clean his bloodied wrists. The deep marks bled freely he didn't flinch or make a sound feeling the antiseptic he just stared at her blankely.

"Why are you here...? They don't..let anyone take care of me."

"Well...you're in charge now so you don't need their permission." she wished she knew who he was talking about but she didn't think she ought to take advantage of his current state to get answers.

"...Touko..."

"Yes...?"

"Tell her I'm sorry."

"Who?"

"Touko."

She paused and looked up his eyes were closed he didn't seem to register who she was.

"I'm sure she knows..."

As she wrapped his arms up to his biceps she stood up to throw the clean cloths in the trashcan by his desk. She rested a hand on his shoulder hearing deep intake of breath as he shuddered rubbing his temples roughly. She bent down her gaze wide seeing him cry, he really had had a lot to drink.

"Tell me what you need." she said softly she really didn't want to give him pain meds while he was like this.

"The voices in my head...they all say the same..I should be dead..."

She shook her head.

"It would be for the best wouldn't it...no more pain my kids could leave me without a worry, they've thrown away enough of their lives to be around me."

"...What no...they love you they want to be here with you."

"I want better for them...though I'm selfish...to be alone..I can't, I can't take it."

He paused feeling her wipe the stray tears away he glanced at her, only seeing a blur of color.

"If you're afraid to be alone it's okay to tell your family they won't judge you."

His weak gaze bounced a bit, shaking as he fought the inner demons he barely held back.

"They should...I'm not a good man..I know that...but I don't want to be alone...dammit it's all her fault!" he stood to punch the wall leaving a hole.

She swallowed thickly.

"Whose?" she was scared to push him she could only say so much.

"Touko's...she came here...I started to sense her as soon as we arrived but she keeps her distance...she doesn't desire my company at all like she should. Why am I getting all of this?" he growled.

She rubbed her head nervously.

"She knows you're busy with work Ghetsis."

"Fuck work, it's all paperwork now I don't have to go beat respect out of anyone...there are no more pick ups..drugs don't need to be tested...I don't even have anyone I'd need to kill. Though no matter how much room I give her...she's just not there I can't even count on her when the days are the worst for me and it's all I want and I hate it...I hate relying on someone I barely know that could leave me and not look back." he gripped his fists as he paced back and forth.

Touko thought she needed to go back to her room, thinking of what crimes got him to where he was...she worried about pushing him it would seem she didn't know what she was doing. Though she did, she sensed one wrong move. That's all it would take she had to watch him be aware of his movements just let him get it off his chest. She rubbed her head as her thoughts flashed a bit...back to the dark she heard that sound before...the sound of him crying she shook her head. It did hurt, she wasn't the same but she was. He shook his head.

"...Touko...I love you...have you forgotten that so easily.."

She blinked picturing him nude and bloody, from behind the glass...asking her to sing to him when he collapsed she leaned back against the desk feeling dizzy before she scrambled for the phone hoping to find Colress's number.

It would be okay she'd help...if she could.

Though love...how well did she really know him.

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