Jane woke up first and he felt oddly good. He kept his eyes closed not wanting to spoil this moment. Lisbon was sleeping with her head on his chest, which made him more than happy. He should done this sooner, talk to her. They both might have a really different time otherwise.
He just was not used to it. When you spent almost your whole life trying to hide your feelings, playing acts, fooling people it´s very hard to break that habit. And he is a creature of habit for sure.
He opened his eyes just to take a look at her. Sleeping so calmly, her hand around him, he was trapped indeed.
He felt a pang of guilt simply because he was happy in such a long time. He stirred trying to keep calm, not wanting to feel this way. Not just because of him but also because of the woman lying there with him.
Lisbon must have felt the light movement because she mumbled something about five more minutes. He smiled and dared to kiss her forehead. Just because now he could. He could shown her his affection after trying to hide it from her, from himself, for so long.
She woke up too, blushing a little.
„ Morning, " he said.
"Hi," she said and even though she was blushing she didn´t change her position. He was glad because of that. It was a little awkward for both of them. Yesterday, they kissed for the first time. It was something new, something they need to get used to. In a good way.
They were silent, just enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of this morning, lying in bed feeling content. Lisbon could feel his heart beating fast under his shirt. Him, a mentalist, with all his biofeedback tricks, and it was no use for him right now. She was proud of herself a little, and she grinned. He must have saw it.
"What is it, Lisbon? "
Despite her effort to keep a poker face she still grinned.
„ Nothing, Jane."
"Oh come on, just tell me woman," he said grinning too.
She looked him right at him, and he stopped grinning immediately. She was indeed beautiful.
She saw his pupils dilate and without thinking about it she kissed him. He was surprised, nevertheless he joined her.
The kiss was sweet and soft and when she darted with her tongue into his mouth he moaned. Lisbon felt goosebumps rose all over her body just by hearing the sound. They were kissing desperately, passionately even, not wanting to stop, lying side by side, holding each other. She trailed into his hair, rubbing the nape of his neck first, and he made an almost whinny sound. He grabbed her, pulling her closer to him, only the clothes separating them.
Lisbon tried to think, with no effect. The only thing she could think about was the man, kissing her, his hands on her, his tongue doing things to her she never experienced before. Little did she know he felt the same way. She felt dizzy, her eyes closed just to savor this moment as he did the same. Before things could get any further, he suddenly stopped, looking at her, breathing fast. She saw uncertainty in his eyes and she understood. Things were moving too fast for him. Maybe for her too. She herself was not sure is she is ready for the next step so she smiled at him. He smiled too. Without a word she snuggled to him and they stayed like that for a long time.
The next few days went well. Both of them were still trying to get a hold on their own feelings, talking to each other, sharing what they never shared before. Jane tried to taught her how to cook something more difficult then spaghetti with some luck. She talked to him about things he would never hope to hear her say. One night she told him about her childhood. They were watching TV when she started speaking. It was a hard talk for both of them...it was so difficult to listen to her talking about being beaten but he listened and afterwards it was his turn to hold her. He then told her about his own past, speaking of the happy moments he had. He made her laugh a lot and it was a very addictive sight.
One night they went to dinner. She was wearing green dress that went with her eyes. He put up his best suit and looking astonishingly they went out. Jane had reserved an Italian restaurant and they spent a nice evening there, enjoying each others company.
It was a date indeed. They both agreed to go on few dates before things could go, well, serious. But seeing her in that dress made it almost impossible. He was so grateful for those biofeedback tricks.
They went home feeling full and tired and after their nightly routine went right to bed. She kissed him goodnight and snuggled to him. It was his favorite way of falling asleep. He was out like a flame after a while.
He was standing in the room again, with the dreadful feeling in his body. He was trembling, it was too cold in there. He could hear somebody calling his name but couldn´t locate the voice, it seemed it was sounding from everywhere. The door in front of him creaked, the same sound going on and on. He had to close them, he must. Walking slowly to them he nearly slipped on the sticky substance on the ground, regaining his balance holding onto the door. He pushed them, trying to close them, with no luck. It seemed they were stuck in one position. He pushed harder when he felt that something covered his hand on the doorknob. Something cold and wet. Do not look, he thought to himself, to not look, just close the door, but it was impossible. That cold and wet thing crept higher on his hand, reaching for him and then he looked. It was somebody´s hand, covered in blood trying to pull him inside, grabbing him. He tried to fought with it until he felt something reaching for his leg, then his torso. He couldn´t move, the only thing that was left for him was to wait until those door would swallow him.
He could hear his name again, it´s echoes going in his head.
Patrick.
More and more hands were all over him pulling him as he tried to stand at least.
Patrick.
He heard it again.
"Patrick, wake up!" Lisbon shook him, not able to wake him up. She was sure the nightmares were gone, now she could see how wrong she was.
He was almost inside the room again, giving up, preparing himself for the sight he saw million times before. Without strength to fight he just let himself be swallowed. Suddenly he felt an outside force pulling him the other way around. He forced himself to struggle some more, feeling pain on his cheeks.
Lisbon slapped him, once, twice, until he woke up. He sat up wildly, looking all around trying to regain some sense of the place he was in.
He was breathing fast, trembling.
"No, was all he said.
„ Jesus," she murmured to herself, „ It´s okay, it was just a dream, " she said holding him.
„ It´s fine, you are fine, just keep breathing. "
He listened to her voice, trying to breathe in and out and soon his shaky breaths calmed down.
„ You alright?" she asked, hoping her own voice wouldn´t break.
"Yeah, right as rain."
"Want to talk about it?"
„There is nothing to talk about," he said with a firm voice.
„ You sure? "
He wasn´t but what was he supposed to tell her? It was just a nightmare, a bad dream.
„ I always went into that door," he said suddenly, "always but not this time. "
She knew what door he meant.
„ Why?" she dared to ask.
„ You woke me up I guess, but I have to admit those slaps hurt a little," he said trying to sound normal.
„ Oh, I am sorry, " she said, then she gave him kiss on both cheeks.
„ Better?" she asked.
He smiled at her, despite his state of mind.
„ A bit, but still hurts a little."
„ You are a big boy Jane, you will survive," she said, mocking him a bit.
"Yeah, I will. "
Somehow, the way he said it, made Lisbon proud of him. He sounded determined.
„ Good, then. You wont sleep tonight, will you? "
"Maybe...probably not. "
"Fine, do you want some tea? "
"Tea? Now? "
„ Yeah, so what, I am thirsty so I might as well make you some tea while in the kitchen."
„ Lisbon, you are a saint ," he said already standing up.
Lisbon handed him a steaming cup of chamomile tea. He took it gladly. She poured herself a glass of apple juice and they sat in the silence.
„ Lisbon? May I ask you something? "
She rolled her eyes at him. Since the first time they talked like normal adults usually do, he grew used to ask her whether he could tell or ask her something. She found it bit funny, like a child asking for a candy.
„ Of course you can, you always can Jane, okay? No need to for that question. "
„ Noted. So, uh, I was thinking since we still have a whole week of precious time off, that maybe we could use that time to visit my place in Malibu."
She looked at him, shocked. She was expecting, well, almost anything, it was Jane after all, but not this.
„ Or, maybe, it is not a good idea at all, forget it Lisbon, " he said sipping from his tea again, so sure he scared her, not realizing he just misread her.
„ I would like to go, if you want me there, " she said slowly.
„ Oh, okay then," he said, a bit shocked himself.
„ We can book the flights the next morning. "
„ Sure," he said feeling relieved.
Lisbon fell asleep with her head on his lap. Well, not on his lap entirely, he put up a pillow for her. He was sitting on the couch with her lying on him, reading book. He couldn´t sleep this night anyway but Lisbon sure could. She gave him a little table lamp and he sat there, thinking, reading and watching her.
They will go to his home together. It is only fair. She welcomed him in her house and he could do the same. Sure, he will book some nice hotel room for them, they wont sleep in there. He just had a feeling that he needs to go there. To face anything that might be waiting for him.
And with Lisbon by his side, he might actually get through it.
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Thank you all for your nice comments, and hope you like this chapter :)