Prompt 33- Calendar

A/N: This is a parody of one of my favourite fairy tales by Hans Andersen called 'Twelve by the Mail'- this uses the SpongeBob characters, both main and minor, to tell the tale. Enjoy! I hope this one's not boring for you!

...

One New Year's Eve at Bikini Bottom, Nat the bus driver was finishing his rounds. He just had twelve passengers left- a mixture of old and young people. They were all at the back of the bus, but he had no idea what it was they were doing.

With a sigh, he pulled up at a bus stop, the last one in the old year, and announced that everyone had to disembark.

A grumpy looking octopus stomped up the aisle, glaring back at the group. "I'm not doing this!" He insisted.

"Yes you are, or you're fired!" Another voice called.

"Hi, I'm January- here to remind you that this month is full of pointless resolutions and back to work disappointments." The cephalopod, who was donning a brown jumper and a knitted scarf, told Nat, before jumping off the bus.

"Meow, meow, meow!" ('Hello, I'm February, and I bring love and Annoy Squidward Day to the New Year!') Nat looked down in confusion to see a snail with a pink shell and a blue and green body down below, dressed in a pink heart with red hearts on- as well as a fake nose matching that of the octopus from before.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Nat asked in confusion.

"Quiet!" A voice barked from the back- coming from a red crab.

"Just wait outside for me, Gary, okay?" Another voice asked -which belonged to a young yellow sponge. The snail meowed and then slithered off the bus, much to the discomfort of the octopus waiting outside.

"Someday in the New Year, March will steal the Krabby Patty secret formula and rule the world!" Another voice shouted.

"Never!" The crab and the sponge shouted.

"Oh barnacles!" March cursed- and then looked behind him. "Why are we doing this, anyway?" But he was ignored as a giant, chubby pink starfish accidentally stepped on him and came to the front of the bus.

"I'm April, I, uhhh..." He suddenly began to drool on the spot, oblivious to Plankton's protests to being squashed.

"Okay...out you go, buddy." Nat said discomfortingly, pushing the starfish out of the bus to join the others.

"May can smell...EVILLL!" An old man in pink fluffy slippers and a bra shouted, before running down the aisle and jumping out of the bus.

"Okay..." Nat said awkwardly. Once it dawned on him what was going on, sort of, he sat down.

Great...he was going to celebrate New Year listening to a bunch of lunatics going on about how they were the months of the year...and he didn't even know why they were doing it.

...

"June LOVES shopping with her friends!" A sperm whale dressed in a pink jacket and hat decorated with a red pom pom squealed delightedly- only to be pushed aside by the red crab from before.

"Well, July LOVES his money!" He said, and did a very pirate- like laugh. Nat just rolled his eyes before pushing the duo out. Well, that was seven. He looked at the back to see who was left- the sponge kid; an old lady who looked like the kid's grandma; a female squirrel; cartoon hero Barnacle Boy; and a pufferfish.

The little sponge was next. He pirouetted up to the front and looked at Nat with a large smile which only creeped the latter out.

"Please tell me you and your friends are getting off normally." He pleaded, but the kid shook his head.

"Sorry, sir- but we agreed to stick it to the end. Don't worry; we'll make it up to you at the end." The sponge promised. "I'm August- I'm a fry cook at the Krusty Krab and I bring happiness and joy to all its patrons!" He jumped off the steps of the bus, leaving a sparkly rainbow- before pulling the freezing group outside for a big, loving squeeze.

The female squirrel came up next. "I'm September- I'm an inventor, and for the New Year, I bring karate and developments in society!" She announced.

Next was the puffer fish, working her way cautiously between the seats of the bus very awkwardly- due to her more rounded figure.

"I am October, and I bring for the New Year- plenty of seasoned drivers- and no SpongeBob at my boating school!"

"Um, what's that to do with the New Year for all?" Nat cut in.

"Oh, just a personal preference for me." 'October' replied, and made her way out. "You're up, November!"

This made Nat perk up. The old lady and Barnacle Boy were the only two people left on the bus. If they hurried now, maybe he could still make New Year at home.

"I'm November," Said Barnacle Boy grouchily, "and I hope that this year will be crime free." He walked- slowly- off the bus to re-join his monthly compatriots.

At last, only the old lady was left. She got up, and walked to the driver's seat.

"Please tell me you're the last passenger!" He begged.

"Why certainly, dear," She replied in a motherly tone. "And I am old grandmother December- I nurture the joys of young, innocent children, and relish the Christmas Spirit- plus I make the hot cocoa and cookies for everyone. Now, who's hungry?" She asked the crowd outside.

Eleven hands were in the air. December chuckled and passed out hot cocoa, cookies, gingerbread men and cake to all- even grouchy old January and November, who both let out a rare smile.

"Thanks grandma- you're the best!" Said August happily, giving December a hug.

"Meow!" February agreed.

"Oh! But we mustn't forget about you, Nat!" August cried compassionately. "Come and join us- there's plenty to go round!"

Nat sighed. Well, he had two options- go home and celebrate New Year too late, or welcome it in time with these twelve people he wasn't so well acquainted with- and get free cookies and hot cocoa. Hmm...

...

The twelve were confused when Nat drove off into the distance, not once looking back.

"What it something August said?" April asked in confusion, scratching his head.

"He better watch how he's driving," October said darkly. "If he doesn't want to end up back in boating school..."

They all shrugged. Oh well, if Nat couldn't take on what the new year would undoubtedly bring to this town, he might as well move to Rock Bottom.