He started calling her Teresa. He did it only when they were alone, during work, she was still Lisbon. Once they were at home she was Teresa. She tried calling him Patrick which was still a bit weird for her but he seemed to love it. Her home was transformed into their home somewhat along the way. He brought some of his things. She made room for his clothes. There were two toothbrushes in the bathroom. He even bought new cotton sheets for the bed which were all too comfortable. It was even harder to get up in the morning. As scary as it was it didn´t bothered her at all. They still left work separately not wanting anybody to know that they were living together.
And what a living it was. They stayed up late watching old movies, or just reading books together in bed. They cooked meals together. And when he was unable to sleep they would go on long walks, holding hands, talking.
Even though they were both used to living alone for a long time, now, when Lisbon thought about it, she would never changed this for anything. Everything wasn´t good all the time, but they managed to get through hard times quite easily. He begun to trust her on a whole new level. She on the other hand had bigger trust issues than him. Jane didn´t pushed her though. He was so understanding, but something was holding her back.
Lisbon though about it a lot. Why was it so hard? He was good to her, maybe too good. Then why on the earth she got that little nagging feeling that this is too beautiful to be true? What if she come home one day and he just wont be there? Jane told her countless times he would never leave her again, except if she make him. And she tried to believe him. Tried so much.
Then one night he fell asleep sooner then her. Lisbon was lying awake after a nice dinner they went to and her mind was on overdrive. Is there something wrong with her? Why can´t she just enjoy this moment without worrying all the time? She turned trying to find a comfortable position and her sight fell on his hands. And there it was. The ring.
He still wore his wedding ring.
The moonlight was shinning over it when she looked there. She couldn´t blame him for wearing it. The symbol of love he once got and lost. Of course he wears it. She is not his wife. Feeling dreadful she closes her eyes and hoped for the sleep to come soon.
It did not.
Something else did. All those thoughts that came to you during the night, the unspoken accusations, regrets, bad memories you tries to burry long ago. Lisbon tried to shut it off with no luck. Everything went back to her. Will she be able to settle for the second best? Not that she wasn´t used to that, mostly when it came to relationships. Friendships even. It might be kind of sad but Jane was her best friend since her mother died. Not that she didn´t have any friends, or more like acquaintances. If it hasn´t been for work she would be alone. Seriously alone. Her brothers were still mad at her for leaving. Her old friends were long forgotten.
Though she was used to it, being alone, it scared her. It scared her even more after experiencing a life with somebody who cared for her. She closed her eyes tightly trying keep a hold on herself.
„It´s fine," she mumbled to herself quietly.
Perhaps not quietly enough.
„Hm? " Jane asked.
„Uh, nothing. Sleep Patrick. "
He could hear her distressed voice, she was sure about it.
„Hey, what´s wrong?" he asked sitting up.
„Nothing, " she gave him the universal answer that suppose to mean nothing but usually means everything. Luckily, he knew this.
„Come here. "
She got up too and he cuddled her close.
„You comfortable?" he asked her.
„Uhm."
„Okay, now tell me what´s wrong. I can see you are upset and yes even in this darkness. You´ve been upset for a long time and I want to know why. I tried to not to push you, but enough with that. Tell me, will you? Please? "
His voice sounded so concerned that he almost got her talking. The inability to form her own thoughts stopped her right after.
„I can´t. "
„Sure you can. If I can talk to you, you can talk to me."
She huffed.
„Never realized it´s this hard. "
„Well, now you know. You told me many times that I would feel better afterwards and I did. You should try it too. I am good listener, you´ll see," he said with a small smile on his lips.
„I love you. " she said.
„That´s the problem? " he asked sounding even more concerned.
„Yes, I mean, no...I just, don´t want so loose you. Loose this. Us. "
„If I got anything to say about it, you are stuck with me. There is no other place I would rather be than here. I will do everything to keep it this way because I simply can´t imagine a day without seeing you face or hearing you voice. You are the most important person to me. "
She nodded trying so hard not to cry. Damn these emotions.
„There is something else troubling you, am I right? "
She shook her head. It made him chuckle softly into her hair.
„Tell me. "
What to tell him? Or how to tell him? The ring had been part of his life for such a long time. Patrick Jane without his ring...that wont be him. Then why did it bother her so much? Then again, if they want to truly embrace their relationship, how could she be sure he would be able to finally move on?
„Youstillwearingring," she blurted it out so fast hoping he wouldn´t understand a word.
He did.
Jane looked at his own fingers entangled with hers. There is was. Shinning. Remanding him of the best, the worst and then again the best time of his life. Without that ring, he would never have met Teresa. He might have lived happily with his family. But it was not meant to be. As devastating as it was he found a new reason to live. He was hers now, and she was his. The love he feels for Teresa is different but not less. He is a different person now. He pulled it down, realizing why she had been so upset.
She looked at him with those beautiful eyes and he smiled. She wanted to say something but he stopped her.
„Don´t," he said putting the ring in her small hand.
„Patrick I - "
„Shh. Take it."
„I can´t...I - "
„Keep it. Somewhere safe. I am trusting you with it.," he said sounding all too serious.
„Okay, " was the only thing she could say. There were time for words, but this wasn´t. With shaky hands Lisbon unhooked her golden necklace and let the ring slide down right to her cross. Jane watched her, mesmerized.
„It´s safe." she said quietly.
„Thank you, " he breathed out fighting tears.
Lisbon lost the fight with her own tears and just let them flow. They fell asleep holding each other close.
„Love you," she whispered into his ear.
„Love you too."
It took Jane long before the sleep came over him. The place on his finger felt weird without the ring. Giving it to Teresa in the middle of night wasn´t his original plan. He wanted to make some grand gesture, he wanted to do something big. In a beautiful place, telling her what she means to him, what she always meant.
After contemplating this whole situation for some time he came to a conclusion that there is no grand gesture needed. The grand gesture was that she told him. Finally. She´s been struggling with fully trusting him for weeks now. Although it never occurred to him that the ring might be the reason he never wanted to push her.
She did it.
Now his ring, their ring, got a place near her heart. And that´s just perfect for him.
He closed his eyes, feeling lighthearted.
The alarm went off waking both of them up. Lisbon huffed angrily at the vile thing that has been ruining her sleep every single day.
„Shut up, " she mumbled.
Jane smiled at her and went up to make her some coffee. It became their morning routine. She will be ready in fifteen minutes and he had to admire her swiftness. Then, she will drink her coffee while he get ready.
He was already half done with his cup of tee when she came down the stairs looking gorgeous in work clothes. If anybody could look astonishing even in work clothes it was Lisbon.
„Morning Teresa. "
„Morning Patrick," she said with a shy smile.
He drank the remaining tea and went upstairs. Lisbon sat near the table with the coffee in her hand. She was aware of additional weight on her gold necklace. Right next to her cross was Jane´s ring. She fiddled with it nervously. What happened last night? She happened. After weeks of struggling with her own feelings she finally got it of her chest. Well, just metaphorically. Because right now the ring rested on her chest. Jane gave it to her. He did. What should be a good response to that? He said such a beautiful words to her and she was only able to say okay. That´s just wrong. She let out a loud sigh. They need to talk. Preferably after work.
Work.
They need to go to work. Where everybody would see Jane without his ring and her with it. Oh God. Should she put it down? No, that would be silly and Jane would definitely notice. Not just notice. He would probably be devastated.
When Jane came down the stairs he found Lisbon pacing around kitchen table looking nervous.
He needn´t to wonder why.
„Teresa? "
She stopped and sighed. The fact that he looked so damn good didn´t help at all.
„Uh, yeah? "
„Don´t worry. They suspect it already. "
She frowned at him with puzzled look.
„Do they? "
Jane smiled and sat down motioning for her to do the same.
„Yes. You maybe haven´t noticed the increase of smiles Van Pelt is giving you. If she knows, Rigsby knows too. And Cho is too good of a detective not to notice. They probably knew it before we even did. "
„Oh, okay. „
„Is it? Because frankly I don´t care if they know. In fact I want them to know. I want everyone to know that I love you. " he said smiling at her.
„You do? "
„Sure. I was keeping it a secret for your sake. But if you want to continue - "
„No." she said louder then she wanted.
Jane raised an eyebrow at her.
„No? "
Lisbon shook her head.
„No. "
„Well, that´s good. " he said grinning. „ Does that mean that we could drive one car to work? It´s good for the environment, you know. "
„Fine. For the environment sake. But I´m driving."
„Okay. My turn tomorrow then. "
„Deal. "
Jane got up, took her hand and they both headed out.
„Don´ t worry Teresa, it´s going to be fun."
„I hope you are right...but what about Hightower?"
Jane sat in the car with a big smile on his face. It´s going to be fun indeed. He couldn´t wait to see Hightower´s reaction when they tell her.
„We deal with her. She´ll understand. Or I´ll make her."
„Jane..."
„Oh, you are already in your work mode, eh?"
Lisbon rolled her eyes at him and started the engine.
He couldn´t wait to tell them.
Finally.
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Thanks to everyone reading this :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
The story is not over yet, but it will be soon.