Chapter 19 : How Soon Is Now

Deep in the forest a single bubble made its way to the surface of a once tranquil lake, popping as soon as it reached the surface and creating some small waves that faded almost as soon as they came into existence. Soon though the bubble was followed by several others and the combined waves were enough to make the water splash against the edges of the lake agitatedly. A couple of deer watched curiously as a red glow started to take over the dark blue depths and spread from the center until the entire clearing was bathed in red. The water was boiling now, more and more bubbles appearing from the crimson depths and exploding with small hisses as soon as they touched the cool evening air.

As sudden as it had started though the boiling stopped again and the bloody color left the water's surface. Everything became quiet once more and, after glancing hesitantly at the rest of the herd, a brave deer approached the lake to drink. That proved to be a mistake though, as spear-like nails came shooting from the depths and crimson stained the lake once more…

Violet eyes gleamed between the branches of an old spar as their owner lazily tracked his prey's progress. Waiting for the right moment to jump down and catch the large armor and his passengers unawares and finally put an end to this bothersome chase. Normally he wouldn't really mind, he liked to play with his victims a bit after all, but right now he was pissed off and that kid was endangering his favorite plaything. His plaything. He growled softly, how dare Lust think she could take Edward away from him?!

He tried to distract himself from his still boiling rage by looking back down at the armor running across the path underneath him. He couldn't afford to make any mistakes now, time was not exactly on his side and Lust wouldn't stay down forever. Neither would his chibi, but he'd deal with that later. Right now, it was Showtime.

And with that last thought Envy dropped down from his branch.

Ed struggled to make haste as he dragged his numb body as fast as he could. He was forced to stop as black spots took over his vision once more and the world slowly started turning around him. He steadied himself with a low hanging branch and silently cursed the homunculus for what must have been the millionth time that day.

Envy had really done a number on him this time and, while that was to be expected, Ed still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. He'd felt that way ever since the homunculus had first shown up and forced himself into their company and it had only grown stronger as time passed.

He had no idea what could've set Envy off like that though. Sure, they beat each other up all the time but never had he seen the other look that cold, or that pissed off for that matter. Something was changing in the homunculus and Ed feared the consequences.

Al looked up as he heard the snapping of tree branches and felt his eyes wide when he saw Envy drop down from above. He tried to evade the heel kick aimed for them, but couldn't get away fast enough. He only managed to shift slightly to the side so the kick missed its initial target, Jay, and hit him on his lower back instead. Still the force of the hit was more than enough to throw him off his feet and dent the armor at his back, causing him to go sprawling forward.

Jay and his grandmother flew of his back and rolled to the side, no longer able to hold on as their carriage slid across the dirt. They both watched, wide-eyed, as Al finally came to a halt, the homunculus landing neatly to the side just a second later.

Envy spared the heavily dented armor a cursory glance and repressed a sigh as he saw him getting up again almost immediately. He quickly looked for his target and saw the boy leaning heavily against a tree trunk, clutching his shoulder with a pained grimace, while frightened blue eyes stared at him fearfully. It didn't look like he would be running off again anytime soon.

The old woman by his side was in no condition to run either. She'd barely managed to drag herself over to the boy's side and was now watching Envy warily, trying to shield the child with her frail body. He wasn't too worried about that though, a well-placed breeze would probably be enough to knock the elderly woman of her feet at this point and, while Chibi might get mad at him for killing the old hag, if she tried to interfere he would. He was doing everything for his Chibi after all, whether the boy knew it or not, and eventually Edward would understand. Yes, eventually Ed would understand and then everything would finally be perfect.

His mind made up Envy turned back to the dented armor, only to find the boy now charging him with a raised fist. He quickly dodged to the side, avoiding the punch, and then did a quick backflip to evade a kick. As soon as his feet touched the ground again he charged forward and started his own assault. The boy was surprisingly quick for such a big and heavy armor but he was no match for a pissed off Envy.

Alphonse had already been tired from all the running he'd done that day and had been nearing his limits, so he wasn't that surprised when, after a few minutes, he could feel Envy getting the upper hand. Still he continued fighting the best he could. He needed to hold out till Ed or someone else came to help him, otherwise Jay would die. And he would never forgive himself if he let that happen. More importantly, Ed would never forgive himself if the boy died.

Al knew how hard it had been for his brother to get back to normal after the last time Envy had killed someone they had been protecting. He knew that Ed still didn't sleep right at night, heard his screams as the nightmares woke him up time and time again. He'd seen the dark circles under his brothers eyes get bigger and bigger and he knew that if they lost this child his brother might never get back to normal again.

So he fought.

He fought and he fought and he kept on fighting for as long as he could. He fought for the boy sitting scared stiff near the tree, he fought for the old woman who had just found her long lost grandson only to have to fear losing him once again, he fought for himself and he fought for his brother, so they would never have to feel that loss again.

Al fought with all that he had but in the end it wasn't enough.

And as his severed head smacked to the harsh dirt ground once more, rolling a bit before finally coming to a stop next to a big rock, and he looked upon his beaten and battered body and the chunks of steel littering the path he knew he wouldn't be able to get up again this time. He knew he'd lost.

And for the first time he was glad for his armored body, because he wouldn't have been able to keep on fighting for as long as he did if he were human…but more so because steel couldn't cry.

Jay watched, paralyzed, as the armored man fell down with a harsh thud and did not get up again. He wanted to run over to him, to check if he was alright, but his grandmother held him back and he shivered. This was all just too much. He'd been living happily before this, he hadn't done anything wrong, so why was this happening? Why did these things keep happening?!

Flashes of long forgotten memories kept coming to the forefront of his mind. A tall, blonde haired woman holding his hand as they played in the sand. A man with warm blue eyes watching from the distance. Those same blue eyes staring unseeingly into the distance, a trickle of blood running down that same handsome face. A woman screaming in the distance, long, blonde hair falling to the floor as a faceless assailant cruelly ripped it out at the roots.

Faster and faster the memories kept coming, until it were no longer just flashes but a small movie, playing again and again before his mind's eye.

He didn't notice as he began shivering, only vaguely aware that the green-haired man was coming closer and closer. Didn't hear as his grandmother yelled for the man to stay away. Didn't hear the man's demand for her to move aside. Didn't hear the wet squish of a hand piercing flesh.

He only felt the blood soaking his shirt and dripping from a bloodstained arm to fall on his face.

And he couldn't help but smile.

Because this was exactly like what had happened last time.

Because now his mommy would be here to rescue him soon and everything would be alright again.

Envy watched, surprised, as the boy suddenly started smiling. It was a weird kind of smile though, and it looked completely out of place on such a young face, especially when combined with the glassy, doll-like blue eyes and blood-spattered face. The child seemed to be in shock though, so that probably explained it. Envy didn't mind, whether the boy was smiling or not didn't make a difference when he had a hand through his torso.

He didn't get to actually put said hand through said torso though, because just when he was about to stab the child something slammed into him from the side. Cursing he staggered to the side, preparing himself to slam his pointed hand through whatever nuisance was trying to play hero this time, only to stop abruptly when he was met with fierce gold orbs.

"Get away from him!" Edward yelled, and damn did the chibi look pissed.

Ed couldn't believe his eyes as he finally came upon the scene of the battle. Pieces of Alphonse's armor were scattered everywhere, the helmet laying brokenly near a large rock a ways of the path. Jay and his grandmother were crouched near a tree, the woman slumped against it heavily, seemingly unconscious. Jay himself didn't seem to be faring all that well either and his young face was spattered with blood, eyes wide and frightened.

And then of course, there was Envy. The green-haired homunculus was poised over the other two, arm pulled back and dagger sharp. You didn't need to be a genius to figure out what he was planning and Ed, being a genius himself, didn't have any trouble doing so. He immediately charged the unaware homunculus, slamming his shoulder into him and forcing him away from his targets.

"Get away from him!"

Envy turned around, surprised if the minute widening of his eyes was anything to go by, but he soon regained his bearings. "Chibi," He greeted him, voice the same flat monotone it had been earlier, "I thought I'd told you to stay put?"

"Like I'd ever listen to you!" Ed growled out, and his eyes flashed dangerously. "If I had that kid would be dead now."

"Like he should be." Envy growled back, and Ed could see the other growing angry again.

"The hell he should!" Ed couldn't believe what he was hearing! "The kid didn't do anything wrong, he's a-"

"Valuable asset to the homunculi and as such shouldn't be killed off because of someone's petty feelings." A cool voice interrupted him and Ed looked up, shocked, to see Lust approaching them. Her dress was in tatters and her usually so smooth voice sounded a bit haggard, but it was definitely Lust and, as seemed to be the norm now, she didn't look happy, at all.

"Envy." She addressed the other homunculus coldly. "Dante will hear about this."

She then proceeded to completely ignore the cursing homunculus, walking past them and to the pair near the tree. Envy made to stop her, but she just threw him a look and then flicked her eyes meaningfully to the blonde-haired alchemist at his side. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." She murmured and Envy could do nothing but clench his fists angrily as she passed.

He knew what that look meant. If he'd leave his chibi alone now she wouldn't hesitate to get her claws on Edward and that was not something he wanted to happen. If he wanted to kill the boy he'd have to leave his chibi at her mercy and that wasn't happening, in his current condition Edward had no chance at beating the other homunculus and he didn't want him to die. There was no way he'd let him die. It seemed like they were at an impasse of sorts…for now.

Edward didn't seem to grasp the severity of the situation though and made to run to the pair at the tree as well, turning his back to Envy as he did so. Not the smartest thing he'd ever done, cause soon he was pressed back against the homunculus, wiry arms wrapping around him to stop him from moving. "I wouldn't do that if I were you Chibi." Envy whispered in his ear and tightened his hold a little.

"Let me go, you bastard! Let go!" Ed desperately tried to struggle free but it was no use. He was exhausted from all the running and fighting he'd done that day and his ears were still ringing from the blow Envy had dealt him earlier.

"She won't hurt him." Envy spat, annoyed, and that caused the small alchemist to pause. He turned to look at Envy questioningly, temporarily forgetting his position, and the homunculus nodded tersely, obviously none too pleased at the current situation.

Ed regarded the homunculus warily for a moment before he decided that what was happening near the tree was much more important and he turned back to watch, trying to ignore the way his feet were dangling slightly off the ground and how he had to stand on his tiptoes if he wanted to actually stand.

Lust knelt down carefully in front of her charge, frowning as she looked at the bleeding woman at his side. Deciding to ignore her for now, she slowly put a hand to the boys cheek, wiping away the blood gently and softly called his name.

"Jay, Jay baby, mommy is here." She saw a small flicker of recognition pass through the otherwise empty eyes and knew he'd wake up soon.

"C'mon baby, time to wake up now." She kept stroking his cheeks gently until eventually she felt him twitch and saw his awareness returning. "That's a good boy." She encouraged him, and soon the boy was fully aware again, blinking sleepily before looking at Lust and smiling happily.

"Mommy!" He yelled and launched himself at her.

Lust laughed as she felt the boy hugging her tightly. "That's right mommy is here now." She said and pat his back softly. "Everything is going to be alright."

She cringed silently as she felt tears start to make their way down her shoulder but she allowed it. She had to keep up the act after all. "Shhh, don't worry baby. Everything's fine now hmm? Let's get out of here." She gently tried to coach the boy up and in her arms, but he suddenly stiffened and pulled back.

"But what about grandma?" He asked innocently, and pointed to the bleeding woman at his side.

Lust regarded the old woman with disgust, a cruel sneer curling her otherwise pretty lips.

"She'll stay here." She said coldly, barely managing to keep the disgust out of her voice. "Now let's go okay? Momma will buy you an ice-cream if you go now."

Jay shook his head though, he wanted to stay with his grandma. He'd thought grandma was dead too, just like his parents, but she was still alive and he'd only just found her again, he didn't want to leave her.

He turned to the old woman and shook her carefully trying to wake her up. It didn't work though and he frowned before pulling his hands back, trying to think up a different way. As he pulled his hands back though he saw they were an ugly red color. Looking at his hands he saw a red liquid was now sluggishly dripping from them and a horrified look came over him.

Looking back at his grandma he saw she had a large hole in her chest that the red fluid was slowly pouring out from.

And then he screamed.

Lust immediately tried to shush him, pulling him into a hug and telling him everything would be alright. It didn't work though and the boy recoiled from her embrace, struggling desperately in an attempt to get away.

Lust wouldn't let him though and she only tightened her hold, before standing up, pushing the bloody body to the side with a derisive scoff, and turning to walk away.

"Let go! I don't wanna go with you anymore! Grandma!" Jay was crying now, hitting her back with his fists as a new slew of memories, all of them concerning the bleeding woman on the ground, hit him full force.

He didn't understand why this was happening anymore. His mommy had always been so nice to him, she'd even saved him from the bad men back then, so why was she so mean to grandma? Grandma needed his help!

At the other side of the path Envy was having a similar dilemma. His own captive had started struggling with a renewed vigor after he'd heard the boy scream and it was getting harder and harder to hold onto him. Eventually Ed managed to free an arm and, with a quick clap of his hands, he transformed his automail in a bladed edge, cutting Envy who was still holding onto him and forcing him to let go.

As soon as he felt the constrictive hold loosening he jumped free and made his way to where Lust was dragging away the struggling child. She had her arms full with the boy and thus couldn't dodge in time to avoid Ed's strike. The blade pierced her lower stomach and she let go with a pained cry. Jay remained seated on the ground for a bit, looking completely dazed, but at a growl from Lust he immediately regained his bearings and ran back to his grandmother.

Ed let him, he didn't have the time to focus on the child when there were two pissed off homunculi closing in on him. He knew someone who would be able to do so though. Quickly checking the positions of the approaching homunculi, he clapped his hands together and focused. He'd never tried it like this before but it had to work, and with that thought he slammed his palms down on a small piece of metal near his feet. The path immediately lit up with a bright blue glow and from all over the dirt pieces of metal started to make their way over to Ed, glowing and melding together until finally a complete armor was laying at his feet.

Letting out a relieved sigh he held out a hand to his brother and watched as Al slowly got up, a bit shaky but soon he stood firm again. "You alright Al?" He asked worriedly.

"Yes, thank you for healing me, brother." The tinny voice spoke and Ed pat his back comfortingly.

"Any time." They both then turned back to their adversaries, who had paused when the light took over the clearing. "You take care of the kid. I'll deal with them." Ed said, indicating the two homunculi.

"You sure?" Al asked, sounding worried. "You're not exactly in the best condition."

"I'll manage."

Al looked at him doubtfully for a while longer, but finally nodded. "If you're sure then."

"I am." And with that Al quickly sprinted off to the pair underneath the tree again.

Envy watched with a wary eye as his chibi revived his brother and sent him off to protect the old woman and the kid again. He was getting so tired of this. Every damn time he tried to kill the kid someone got in the way. First Lust, then chibi and his tincan, and now both of them were trying to stop him. He had some really shitty luck.

Sighing he turned to Lust, who was watching the exchange carefully. Best to get rid of her first, he thought, and then he attacked.

Ed watched, wide-eyed, as the homunculi started fighting. He had no idea what was going on. Weren't they supposed to be on the same side? Why were they attacking each other then? Honestly it was giving him a headache. He winced as Envy slammed Lust into a tree, hard, and snapped her neck. That had got to hurt.

Lust just shook her head though and retaliated by sticking her nails into the other's abdomen. Envy let out a pained grunt but only tightened his hold, breaking her neck again and holding her so that the bones couldn't realign correctly.

He then leaned in and they proceeded to have what looked like a very heated, but whispered, conversation. Both looking at Ed and then at the child under the tree with angered eyes. After a while Envy let go again and Lust slumped to the bottom of the tree, neck realigning itself with a sharp crack.

"Now go." Envy commanded and, after a moment's hesitation Lust nodded stiffly, before rising and walking away without looking back.

"Very well then, but don't forget what I said, Envy. Dante will hear of this." And with that she was gone.

Envy let out a muted curse as Lust disappeared. That had not been pretty and while Lust had, eventually, given up he was going to be in a world of trouble later on. That woman had a vengeance streak a mile wide and he had no doubt she would, indeed, go to Dante with it.

He would deal with that later though, for now he had a chibi to take care of. There was no need to kill the child any longer, since he obviously didn't want to go with Lust anymore he was now useless to her, and thus to the homunculi. Meaning he was no longer a threat for his Edward. That didn't mean Dante wasn't planning similar operations elsewhere though and that thought was quite worrying. He'd have to keep a close watch over his little chibi until he could figure out what to do about this.

Speaking of chibi, the young alchemist seemed to have made his way over to his brother and friends and was now bent over the old woman, his back to Envy. He was being surprisingly quiet and Envy couldn't help but wonder what was going on. He took a curious step forward, only to be frozen to the spot almost immediately as Edward turned around and locked gazes with him.

His golden orbs were burning.

Ed stared at the body in front of him numbly ,watching as blood slowly poured from the gaping hole in the woman's chest. Tracing the path of a drop of the life-giving fluid as it made slowly made its way down her arm and unto the ground. Watched as the small light still present in her eyes slowly started to die out. The woman was still conscious, how she managed he didn't know, but she was and her dull grey eyes were focused on her grandson's face.

Somehow, even while she was dying, the woman managed to look at peace. And Ed hated it. He hated that this woman would have to die. Hated Envy for putting a hole through her chest. Hated himself for not being able to do anything to stop it. He just hated.

A branch behind them snapped and at the same time Ed could feel something snap inside himself. He'd had enough. Enough of the games and the helplessness, of feeling his heart break every time he couldn't save someone. He was going to end it, . And no one would stop him.

He'd had enough.

And with that he turned around and locked gazes with Envy, the cause for all his misery, and charged.

Envy hurriedly dodged to the side as a fist came flying by his face. He wasn't in time to dodge the kick that followed though, surprised as he was, and was knocked of his feet by the force. He quickly got to his feet again and jumped over a bunch of spikes that rose from the ground underneath where he'd been laying just seconds before. He cartwheeled out of the way of another automail-bladed punch and finally came to a stop further along the path. Using the few precious seconds the distance gave him to analyze the situation.

Edward was pissed.

And not just a little bit either it seemed. There was an almost insane light glowing in the chibi's angry eyes and he attacked with a ferocity Envy wasn't used to seeing from the small alchemist. He cursed as he was forced to dodge another bunch of spikes, only to slam straight into Edward's outstretched fist.

It seemed like he'd really gone too far this time.

There was no way he could defend himself properly from the assault without doing some serious harm to the little alchemist though. He couldn't keep blocking forever and there was no way to gently immobilize the other either. That meant he'd have to fight.

He didn't want to fight the other when he was like this either though. The chibi wasn't in his right mind and there was no fun fighting him like that. That, and Envy was way too scared to do some serious harm to the other when he was fighting as recklessly as he was now.

He'd just have to try and dodge then, and when that stopped working he'd just have to take it.

Edward growled as he saw the accepting look in the other's eyes. This was not what he wanted. He wanted Envy to fight back! Not to look at him with those eyes, those damn, confusing eyes. He didn't want to see those eyes, didn't want to see the emotion he now suspected was hiding behind them. Didn't want to be distracted from his rage. Because when the rage left only the confusion would be left behind, confusion and a realization he really didn't want to face.

"Why are you doing this to me!" He yelled out desperately while throwing another punch, still looking into those damned eyes.

He wanted the other to tell him he was wrong. Oh how he wanted to hear Envy tell him he was wrong. Because now, after pondering on it for so long, he'd finally recognized the emotion in the other's eyes. He'd seen it in another dull, grey pair of orbs as they gazed longingly at their grandson for the last time, and even now he could still see it mirrored in the confused, violet pair in front of him.

It was different of course. Those grey orbs had been gentler, lacking the twisted cruelty and al encompassing possessiveness he was used to, but the emotion was still the same.

Envy still looked at him the same.

With a cry of despair Ed threw his fist forward and hit Envy's nose with a satisfying crunch, before his exhaustion finally took a hold of him and forced him to his knees. He sat there, panting, as images began to flash before his eyes.

A late night at the hospital and an unwanted visitor. Waking up with an enraged homunculus hovering over him. A fight that seemed like it had happened years ago but was actually only a few months in the past. And always those eyes those same deep violet eyes staring at him with such an incomprehensible emotion that Ed would always be left wondering.

Not anymore though.

No, now he knew. He finally knew, yet he wished he didn't because this changed everything.

Because Envy… loved him.

And with that final realization the world turned black.

An/: So now he knows! I like this cliffie ^^ Actually I like quite a few things about this chapter. I dislike about just as much of 'em though. Really this gave me like, the worst case of writer's block ever. I don't think I've ever re-written this many parts before . I hope it came out okay though, since it's kinda an important chapter, what with Ed realizing Envy's feelings and all that… So yeah, tell me if it sucks and I'll correct it : )
You may have noted that I added some extra theatrics to Lust's regeneration at the beginning of the chapter. That's all cause of the writer's block, nothing else came to mind and yeah…I had to start the chapter somehow.
Oh and Ed's magic healing Al while he's all over the place trick thing? He magnetized the metal, like, reaaaal strongly so it would come his way, and then healed him. That sounds like it could work right? I think it would xD
Sadly, the next update might take a while, because my finals are coming up in like, 2 weeks . I'm so not looking forward to it and I'll need to study real hard these coming weeks. So please bear with me while I'm being a not updating nerd. I'll try and getting something posted as soon as possible!
Anyways thank you for reading and please review! xXx~Mai

ps. Go listen to this chapter's song, It's called How Soon is Now, and I personally like the LovespitLove version best. I feel like it really fits Envy's character somehow :)