Author's Note: Thank you once again for your wonderful reviews and follows. Now that I'm home and recovered from jetlag I bring you the next chapter in my little universe.
Finally thank you to Speedy Mouse for the Doctor Burke suggestion.
Chapter 5 – The Final Straw
Kate was putting the last of the dishes away from lunch when she heard the soft click of the front door closing. She looked over to Rick's office and saw the door was closed meaning he was still lost in the writing vacuum he'd been in most of the morning. The absence of Martha's exuberant greeting could only mean Alexis had just returned home from lunch with Meredith. Steeling herself, Kate took a deep breath to prepare for what was probably going to be a terse conversation at best.
'Hey sweetie, how'd your lunch go?' Kate asked her daughter as placed the left over ham from lunch back in the refrigerator.
'It went,' Alexis replied indifferently. Kate closed the refrigerator door and turned towards her daughter who was looking distractingly at her hands as she sat at the kitchen counter. Alexis had begrudgingly gone to lunch with Meredith, despite having said yes to meeting up with her mother a week ago.
Both Rick and Kate had noticed Alexis had been out of sorts the last couple of weeks, but each time they asked her what was wrong the young redhead would deflect their concern by changing the subject. Both parents initially put it down to the stress of their recent trip to England and the jetlag from the trip home, particularly now that Alexis had started seeing Doctor Burke to help deal with her PTSD and anxiety attacks.
But they both now realised there was something else going on that was causing their daughter to pull away from them. Add Meredith into the mix and it was a recipe for one very surly redhead at the moment.
Kate filled two glasses with water and handed one to Alexis. 'So how's your mom,' Kate asked before taking a sip of water.
'Well as far as I'm aware you're fine, but if you're asking about Meredith well…she's Meredith…..what more can I say,' Alexis sighed with frustration. 'She was at her self-absorbed best today…it was pretty obvious I was just pulled out for window dressing for some producer and his wife she's trying to impress…' Alexis grumbled as she looked back towards the closed door of her dad's office.
'Honey….'
'What Kate….I did the daughterly thing, I spent time with a woman I barely know any more and have nothing in common with just to appease people, so can we just leave it at that?!' Alexis yelled as she stormed up the stairs leaving a stunned Kate in her wake. The slamming of Alexis's bedroom door not only brought Kate out of her stunned silence, it also brought her husband out of his office.
'Kate?' Rick asked as he took in his wife's distraught look. 'Was that Alexis, is everything OK?'
Kate tried to take a cleansing breath as she grabbed a cloth from the sink. Water from the glass Alexis had sent flying as she stormed off was now dripping down the cupboards and onto the floor. 'I honestly have no idea what just happened Rick, but whatever's going on with her I think today was the proverbial final straw,' Kate sighed as she started to wiped down the bench.
'I'll go up and talk to her, see what Meredith did this time to upset her,' Rick ran a hand through his hair as he turned towards the staircase. A sure sign he was not only frustrated, but had no idea how to fix whatever was wrong with Alexis..
'Babe….just give her an hour or so to cool down, going up there now will only lead to more confrontation,' Kate said knowing all too well from personal experience. 'She'll come to us when she's ready, and the last thing she needs is us interrogating her,'
'Kate I won't be interrogating her…..I'm worried about her,' Rick said with a slight defensiveness.
Kate took a deep breath at the inadvertent hurt she felt at her husband's words. She needed to stay calm, keep her husband calm so they could find out what the hell was going on with their daughter.
'I know Rick, but that's how Alexis will see it…..I'm just as worried about her as you are,' Kate walked over to him and lay a calming hand on his arm. 'Babe there's something going on with her that has nothing to do with London or Paris or anything connected your disappearance or her anxiety attacks….this….this is something else and we need to tread carefully or we risk her not coming to us at all,' she said caressing his arm.
'How'd you get so smart,' Rick sighed as he placed his head on his wife's shoulder and wrapped her in an all-encompassing hug. Kate smoothed her left hand through the hair at the nape of his neck as she ran her right hand up and down his back.
'Really Rick….you're just noticing this now?' Kate grumbled. 'How quickly you forget who helped you raise her over the past seven years.'
Rick raised his head and looked at his wife with such devotion Kate struggled to keep eye contact without blushing. 'I will never forget who's stood by me and helped me raise her,' Rick whispered as he drew her for a sensuous kiss, the intensity weakening Kate's knees to the point where her husband's arms were the only reason she was still standing upright.
'Hey save that for later big boy,' Kate murmured as she moved out of her husband's embrace. Rick had the good grace to blush as Kate moved back to finish cleaning up the spill left in Alexis's wake, while Rick moved to the sink where a few lunch dishes were still sitting.
'Kate, when did you first notice the change in Alexis….I've been wracking my brain to come up with anything that could be causing her to cut herself off from us,' Rick asked as he put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher.
Kate crossed her arms and leaned back against the bench in contemplative thought. 'I've been struggling to come up with anything myself Rick,' she started. 'Alexis and I worked through so much together when we were in England, got so much out in the open and when she started her sessions with Doctor Burke and putting in the hard work…she just seemed so…..content,' Content was the only work Kate could think of to describe her daughters behaviour since returning from London.
'I just don't know what to do, she won't talk to us, she's distant and surly one minute and acts like nothing's wrong the next…' Rick shrugged his shoulders, a look of helplessness on his face. It broke to heart to see her husband looking so lost.
'I know….,'Kate was interrupted by the ring of her cell. Throwing Rick a silent sorry she answered the unfamiliar number 'Beckett….oh hey Paige….,' Rick looked up sharply at the mention of his daughter's best friend. '…no she's upstairs in her room…' Kate threw a worried look towards her husband. 'Honey Rick's here with me, we're going to move into his office and put you on speaker ok?' Kate said as they both moved towards Rick office.
'Hi guys,' Rick heard as he closed the door to his office.
'Hey Paige,' Rick said, his body language clearly showing how wound up he was.
'Sorry to bother you guys but I'm just calling cause I'm really worried about Alexis and she's refusing the answer my calls or e-mails…and I'm just worried,' the fear in Paige's voice was clear to both occupants in the room.
'Honey….do you know what's going on with her?' Kate asked. 'We know something's going on but she won't talk to us,' she continued.
'Look I don't know if it's connected, but the other week after you guys appeared on Saturday Night Tonight, we both got such a kick out how good you were and Alexis started getting tweets and messages about how cool her parents were bla bla bla…,' Paige finally stopped to take a breath.
'Paige can you get to the point,' Rick said impatiently. Kate lay a calming hand on his forearm and squeezed, he was so tense it was like squeezing a metal bar.
'Sorry Uncle Rick, while we were talking she said was going onto your official website…..'
'Shit!' Rick muttered quietly as he started to pace the room.
'Yeah….look I don't know exactly what she found while she poking around in the forums, but I'm guessing whatever it was, it wasn't good…I mean I've seen how bad these keyboard warriors can get when they've decided to spread the love so to speak,' the disgust in Paige's voice evident. 'All I know is what ever she found she hung up on me pretty much straight away and has refused to talk to me about it since…..and now she won't talk to me at all,' both Kate and Rick could hear the fear in the young woman's voice. 'And it's just so hard….cause I'm over here in London and she's there in New York and I can't get to her to talk to me and I don't know what to do…' Kate could clearly here the tears evident in Paige's voice.
Rick on the other hand was beside himself with rage, and Kate herself had a fairly good idea what Alexis had stumbled upon. Scratch that, Kate was terrified of what Alexis may have stumbled upon.
'Rick…' Kate said with concern.
'God damn it Kate!….I've spent all of her life protecting her from this bullshit!…..and I don't know how many times I've told her to stay away from the on-line forums…' Rick exploded as he continued to pace the room like a caged animal. Heaven help whoever was on the receiving end of his temper.
'I'm so sorry Uncle Rick….' Both Rick and Kate could hear the fear in Paige's voice. 'It didn't occur to me at the time what happened but it's the only thing I can think of that may be behind why's she gone off grid,'
Kate stopped her husband's pacing as she tried to sooth him. 'Babe getting angry isn't going to solve anything..…right now Alexis is sitting alone in her room and has been stewing over God knows what for the past few weeks and we need to work out a way to talk to her about it,' Kate needed him calm so they could talk to Alexis. 'Paige honey, thanks for your help…..at least we have a direction to go in now…..' Rick looked at her incredulously. 'Don't give me that look Rick, it's more than we had twenty minutes ago…sorry Paige…' sighing in frustration.
'No it's ok Kate' Paige said.
'Honey I need you to be honest with us,' Kate started. 'Do you know what she may have seen,' Right now she was the only rational person in the room and terrified of not only the young girls answer but her husband's reaction.
'…..if she's seen what I think she's seen….,' Paige started hesitantly. '…then Alexis is gonna need some major reassurances from both you guys and an extra session with her shrink….,' Paige finished.
'I take it you've been to the forums….' Rick asked. It was like a horror story…he didn't want to hear but he couldn't stop the morbid curiosity.
'Yeah….' Was all the young girl said.
'How bad,' Kate asked frightened of the answer.
'It's bad….like….' Paige didn't want to say it but knew they'd find out themselves. '…there's a link from the main forum page to….essentially it's a hate page directed at kids of celebrities….and there's references to Alexis on there…..' Paige finished softly. It was like she was preparing herself for the explosion on the other side of the Atlantic.
Rick didn't disappoint as he stormed out of his office, the door slamming back against the bookcase as he barged through the doorway swearing. Kate heard him stalk around the living room slamming objects around in his wake.
'Paige honey I gotta go….I'll call you later OK?' Kate hung up on the girl without a second thought because right now she could hear her husband yelling at someone and she needed to calm him down.
'I don't give a fuck if she's on a call, I want Paula on the line and I want her on the line now!' Rick yelled. Kate did her best to guide her husband back into his office to as he shouted at whoever was unfortunate enough to have answered his call at Black Pawn.
'Rick please keep your voice down,' Kate implored. The last thing Alexis needed was to hear her father ripping strips off Paula over the on-line forum connected to his website.
'Don't Kate…' The look Rick gave her sent chills through her. God help Paula was all she could think as she silently exited his office. She quietly closed the door and made her way to the staircase. Kate realised her time would be better spent starting the communication process with Alexis than trying to stop her husband from tearing shreds off his publicist.
'Kate?' Kate looked up to see her daughter descending the staircase and was surprised to see that her face was devoid of any signs of crying. In fact Alexis looked remarkably controlled compared to the angry young woman who stormed up the stairs less than an hour ago.
'Hey baby,' Kate soothed as Alexis stepped off the bottom stair and into her mom's arms. Kate wrapped her daughter in a tight hug before leading her over towards the couch. Instead of sitting however, Alexis headed towards her dad's office.
'Honey it's not the best time to interrupt your dad,' Kate said trying to stop an already out of control situation.
'I just want him to stop yelling at Paula,' Alexis replied as she neared the closed door. 'It's my fault not hers and she doesn't deserve the abuse she's copping from him,'
As Alexis opened the door she cringed at the booming angry voice of her father and felt even guiltier for what Paula was going through. 'Dad…' she said trying to get his attention.
'I don't care what your IT Department says.…'
'Dad…' she tried again.
'Damn it Paula..'
'Daddy!'
'What!' Rick yelled as he turned towards to the source of interruption. Rick signed and ran a hand through his hair.
'Dad please stop yelling at Paula, it's not her fault…and she was on the phone to me….' Alexis pleaded.
Rick looked at his daughter in stunned silence. 'Look I need to call you back…please just do what I asked you to do,' Rick pushed end on his cell. Closing his eyes, Rick took a deep breath to try to calm himself as he turned to look at his daughter.
'Hey pumpkin….want to explain to us what's going on?' He asked moving towards the young redhead.
Alexis allowed him to give her a brief hug before she extracted herself and took his hand, leading him back out to the living room where her mom was currently sitting on the couch. Kate's knees were bouncing with nervous energy as she watched father and daughter move towards her.
Rick sat allowing Alexis to control the situation, a tactic he'd learned from watching Kate work with victims over the years. His daughter strategically placed herself between her parents; a move he realised meant she didn't have to look at either of them as she spoke.
'Honey what's going on,' Kate asked as she took her daughters left hand. 'Your dad and I are worried sick about you…and we've just had Paige on the phone wanting to know if you're all right,' Alexis bowed her head at her mom's questions. 'And what did you mean when you said it was your fault,' Kate finished
'Because it is Kate…I stupidly trusted a person I thought was my friend….I let her into my home….let her meet my family!' Alexis stopped as she tried to gather her thoughts.
'Alexis…Paige mentioned she thought you'd found something on one of my forums that upset you,' she asked gently, leading the conversation.
'You know I was just so proud of you guys….the way you burst onto the set on Saturday Night Tonight….and I was just sitting there thinking 'wow they're my parents'….' Kate caught the glimpse of pride on her daughters face before Alexis continued. 'Paige rang me a little while later after seeing the clip on YouTube…there was link to it on your website dad….seriously someone at Black Pawn has no life…..but Paige was laughing and giving me a moment by moment description…and I just wanted to see what your fans were saying,' Rick could only cringe at some of the content she may have read. 'I don't even know why I did it, but I saw a post with my name in it…and clicked on the link….'
'Oh sweetie,' Kate soothed
'You know what the worst part about all this is?' Alexis continued as she got up from the couch and started to pace the room.
'Wait….we've met her?' Rick asked as he too rose from the couch only just catching up with the conversation. He'd been lost in thought as to what she may have found on his website.
'Yeah…when you were working the Mars case….no room at the inn remember?' Alexis said trying to deflect her dad's anger.
'Honey we still don't understand why this is your fault,' Kate asked as she moved to still her husband. She was getting dizzy from everyone pacing at the same time.
'Because instead of coming and talking to you guys I've stewed over it…and got angrier…and then lunch with Meredith today…but I've been talking to Doctor Burke and Paula…' Alexis stopped and took a calming breath, trying to remember the breathing exercises she'd been taught by Doctor Burke.
'What happened with your mom,' Kate asked softly.
'She did nothing wrong…really so please don't go yelling at her either dad' Alexis begged her father. '…she was just being Meredith…I wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with her today' she sighed giving her father a pleading look to leave it at that.
Rick let Kate lead him back to the couch and felt her place a calming hand on his knee once he was seated again. 'Honey we can't help you unless you tell us what's going on,' he implored. Kate squeezed his thigh where her hand rested and Rick stopped to take a calming breath.
'You know I'm not naïve enough to think that something like this doesn't exist out there,' Alexis said as she paced the space in front of the couch. 'And I'm no more a target than anyone else when it comes to cyber-bullying….I'll admit that when I first found the forum and started reading what people were writing about me….it devastated me….they pretty much reinforced every single insecurity I already have about myself,' Alexis shrugged as she tried to keep her emotions under control. 'I just don't get why people sit behind anonymity on a keyboard and say such horrible things about other people…and it's even worse when you realise it's someone you know..' Alexis looked so sad and lost where she stood in the middle of the living room.
Rick looked at his daughter, and he was once reminded of the lost little girl whose mother had just told her she was moving to California. Was leaving for a new life without her and her daddy. 'Baby I'm so sorry…' Rick was at a loss for words on how to comfort his baby girl.
'Please dad, let me finish before I chicken out ….I know you guys have been worried about me and I'm sorry I've shut you out, but I had to figure this out on my own,' she said pleading with her dad to understand. She didn't intentionally set out to hurt either of her parents, but they were both looking at her with such worry on their faces.
'Rick let's just let her tell us her story and we'll go from there,' Kate said softly as she took his left hand in both of hers. He looked at his wife allowing her to ground him with her words and touch and took a deep breath.
'Ok Alexis, tell us your story,' he said looking back at his daughter as she sat on the coffee table in front of them
'Thanks dad.' Alexis took a soothing breath before she continued. 'I need to ask first what Paige told you...she texted me to tell me she'd just finished speaking to both of you, I just need to know we're all on the same page,' she said looking towards her mom. At this point Kate was the most rational parent in the room.
'She said that you went onto your dad's official website when you were talking to her about Saturday Night Tonight, and are now refusing to talk to her,' Kate confirmed.
'Yeah that's where it all started…I was so proud of you both….like seriously if you wanted to star in your own reality show you'd kick the Kardashian's to the curb,' Kate shuddered at the thought of living in a fish bowl for the world to see and judge. There were times now when she struggled with the notoriety of being the wife of Richard Castle. 'Come on Kate just think of the clothes and shoes you'd be asked to endorse,' Alexis ability to read the expression on Kate's face downright scary.
'Sweetie I'm married to a millionaire, I can buy my own clothes and shoes thanks very much…now stop sidestepping and get on with it,' the unusual air of parental authority with which Kate scolded her daughter was comforting to Alexis.
'Sorry…..anyway I found this site via a link on your website that took me to another site that's essentially hate page for kids of celebrities…I'm still not sure how I got on there…' she sassed her dad.
'Hey!' Rick exclaimed, but the look on his daughters face told him she'd been baiting him and he'd fallen for it. 'You know for someone who stormed up the stairs not an hour ago you seemed to be pretty calm now…what happened?' Rick asked.
'At first I was so upset by what I was reading, but it was like a car crash….I didn't want look but couldn't not look…and the more I read….,' Alexis stopped to take a calming breath. 'I had a session with Doctor Burke on the Tuesday where we talked about what I'd found, but more importantly dealing with my own insecurities,' she explained. 'Doctor Burke said I needed to take ownership of the situation instead of being a victim, so I spoke with Detective Ryan because he helped dad remove the photos of Ashley and Lauren after her birthday party a few years ago…'
'Ah' Kate interjected. 'I was wondering why he's been so secretive,' Kate said as things started to click into place.
'Sorry…' Alexis apologised.
'Hey you have nothing to be sorry for sweetie,' Kate reached over to take her daughter's hand. 'That was very smart using the resources you know you have access to,' she continued. 'I'm just glad you know you have people to turn to for help if you don't feel comfortable coming to us,'
Alexis gave her mother a soft smile before continuing. 'I also spoke with Tory…and as it turned out there was nothing much I could do from a legal point of view unless I wanted to sue for slander,' she shrugged.
'And that's why you were talking to Paula,' Rick finished. Now all the pieces were finally in place.
'Yeah, she's been working with Hairy Stew…'
'What the hell's a Hairy Stew?' Kate asked Alexis with an un-lady like snort.
'He's the manager of Black Pawns IT department,' Rick explained as he looked at his wife. 'His name is Steward Henderson…..bald as baby's butt,' he shrugged by way of explanation.
'Ok…so you've been talking with Paula and Mr Henderson…' Kate said, waving her hand for Alexis to continue.
'And he's banned the original poster…no dad I'm not going to name names,' she stated as he went to interject. 'And of course the nature of internet is you just make up another pseudonym and continue what you started, so Hairy Stew set up some sort of firewall bot…. he did try to explain it, but it was all gobbledygook to me…that essentially removes the site address as well as the original post if someone tries to post it on the forum again,' she finished.
'Honey how do you know who it was,' Kate asked.
'Because of the stuff that was being said' Alexis replied. 'Only someone who'd been inside the loft would have known what my home looked like…playing laser tag, that sort of thing…it was really quite invasive reading such personal stuff about myself….' Alexis failed to stop the single tear running down her cheek.
'Oh baby...' Kate was at a loss as to how to console her daughter.
'No it's OK really,' Alexis wiped the tears from her cheek as she reassured her mom. 'Doctor Burke has been really great in helping me work through everything…..but it's still hard you know…..reading that someone thinks you're a rich spoilt daddy's girl still living at home sponging off your dad…..' Alexis caught the sob before it escaped her mouth. Her husband's hand was like a vice where it gripped hers; she gave it a squeeze and looked back towards her daughter, silently encouraging her to continue.
'Why my stunning stepmother is allowing me to still live here…why I'd want to be living with a couple of newly-weds in the first place…why I don't have a boyfriend…..like I don't ask myself these questions everyday…' Alexis finished quietly.
'Alexis at what point have Kate and I said we don't want you here?' her dad asked. She could clearly here not only the hurt but also the anger in his voice, and she knew he was hanging onto his tempter by a thread.
'Never,' she answered.
'And have we ever made you feel like you're not welcome in your own home?' he questioned.
'No,' she said in a small voice.
'And have we been nothing but supportive of the choices you've made, regardless of if we agreed with them or not….even Pi?' the mention of his daughter's ex-boyfriend sending a shudder through Rick.
'Yes,' she whispered, she looked down at her feet so they wouldn't see the embarrassment that was clearly visible on her face.
'Rick,' Kate said softly, she needed to rein her husband's anger in before he scared their daughter off when she was just opening up to them.
'Sorry…I'm sorry…' Rick apologised as he rose and walked over to his daughter.
'Daddy I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you or shut you out..' Alexis sobbed. The weight of the emotional roller coaster ride she'd been on for the past couple of weeks finally being lifted from her shoulders. The move so cathartic she could no longer keep up the façade that everything was ok.
Rick sighed as he pulled his weeping daughter into his arms. He wanted to kill whoever was responsible for hurting his baby girl like this. But at the same time he was so proud of how she'd handled the situation. How she's sought help and guidance from those he trusted most in his life. He would have to find some way to thank Tory and in particular Kevin and Paula for helping his daughter when she felt she couldn't come to him.
'So what happens now,' Rick asked as he pulled back from his daughter, once again giving her control of the situation.
'I don't want to just leave it at this dad, I've been talking to one of the councillors on campus and Doctor Burke about what I can do..and I'd like to start with putting a link from your website to the Government's stopbullying website,' Alexis explained. 'Nothing over to over the top….just another reference site, and then maybe in October you and I can tie something in with National Anti-Bullying Month…it's just a thought,'
'I think it's a great idea,' Rick was beyond proud of his daughter.
'I'd like to arrange a time for us all to talk to Paula,' Alexis said looking at her mother. 'I want to make sure it's done right, and not coming across as pretentious or arrogant,'
Kate walked over to Alexis and pulled her in for a hug. 'I'll look at my schedule for the next couple of weeks and let you know when I another free day.' Kate clung to her daughter as if trying to absorb all the hurt and heartbreak she'd been dealing with over the past few weeks.
'Thank you,' Alexis whispered. 'And thank you for looking after dad,' clinging just as tightly to her mom.
'Always' was all Kate's response. 'Promise me you'll call Paige back, you're very lucky to have such a good friend,'
'I promise and I know,' Alexis said with a squeeze.
'Ok,' Rick interrupted. 'Now I have been told in no uncertain terms that this isn't an adult way to solve a problem anymore, but I think it's time for ice cream,' Rick said he walked towards the kitchen.
Alexis giggled while Kate roller her eyes as they separated from their hug, but neither of them could deny Rick his way of coping. 'Ice cream sounds great dad,' Alexis replied as she took her mom's hand and walked over to sit at the kitchen bench.
While Rick and Alexis bickered over ice cream and toppings, Kate couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of pride she had towards her daughter. She took out her cell and sent Paige a quick text to say thank you and let her know Alexis would call her. She then looked back at her little family and once again though how lucky she was as well as sending a silent prayer of thanks to everyone who had helped her daughter in the past couple of weeks.
Kate made a mental note to give Doctor Burke a call the next day to thank him, as well as seeking out Kevin and Tory, before stepping into play referee to what had now escalated into an ice cream war between father and daughter, and she was not going to be the one to clean up the mess.
'Seriously guys?' Kate yelled. Yes this was her family and she could only imagine the bedlam when they started to add more members. Kate looked at her husband with a look full of love at the thought of finally giving Alexis the brother or sister she always wanted.
Rick caught a glimpse of her face as he held the tub of rocky road just out of reach of their daughter. Even with Alexis jumping up and down trying to reach rocky road in his his hand, he could still look at Kate like she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen.
Blushing, Kate moved to get the bowls for the ice cream. 'You know at this rate we'll be eating ice cream soup if you two don't stop fooling around.' Kate groused.
'Yes mom,' they both moaned at the same time.
'Jinx' Rick said as Alexis huffed.
'You're both jinxed until I release you,' Kate said with a sly grin. But after the day this family had had, she was happy to put with the 'what' and 'seriously' being thrown at her as she took the tub of rocky road from her husband and handed it back to her daughter because this was what living in this family was all about. And she wouldn't change a thing.