Hey everyone! I'm sorry I have updated for a little while…I swear. School is gonna be the death of me! I absolutely hate school. I mean, half the stuff we learn, we are NEVER going to use in real life! Ugh. I had an American History essay I had to do because I was gone sick one day. Also to make up for my sick day in computer class, I had to type 8 frigging pages of crap! And I repeat CRAP. Like "fff ddd sss aaa frf ftf ded Jack had to run to the store to pick up some groceries." Ya. Stuff like that. NO ONE CARES ABOUT JACK AND WHAT HE HAD TO DO! Anyways….I can't believe I have 10 followers and 8 favorites! You guys are AWESOME! Thanks so much! And 6 reviews! Well technically 8…but the important thing is I ALREADY REACHED MY GOAL! WOO HOO! THANKS YOU GUYS! Your reward is a the longest chapter yet! (YES! Longest chapter yet!) Also thanks to "Awesome Guest"...well you kinda took my saying, but I'm gonna say it anyways! You ARE AWESOME!;) Hey and I finally found the perfect cover image for this story! It's a poem...but it describes this perfectly...you should look at it. When I found it, I couldn't believe it! I mean, it described this whole thing perfectly! Please read it...its only 4 lines long. It wouldn't kill you!;)
Disclaimer: If I owned Divergent, I wouldn't have killed "certain" people off. -_-
Chapter 3
Tris POV
I remember hearing sirens coming closer and closer, but wouldn't move away from my mom. Even when the medics had come over and were trying to assess my damages. But I just couldn't move away from the body that used to hold her smile, laughter, words, and soul. I just couldn't accept that she was gone. Finally, the medics pulled me away. I was getting weaker and weaker, so it became easier for them to pull me away. If I had had a choice, I would've stayed right there forever. But of course, in this world, you never get choices. And when you do, they aren't important.
The medics may have pulled me away from her touch, but I could still see her. So I kept my eyes glued on her the entire time. When they brought 3 body bags out, I started screaming. "NO! NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM AWAY FROM
ME! NO! CALEB! MOM! DAD! PLEASE COME BACK!" Then I felt a needle go into the vein in my arm, and as I was fading into blackness I managed to make out a whisper "Please come back. Please."
When I woke up the next morning I could hear a very annoying beeping sound, but when I tried to look up to see what it was, I felt a sharp pain fly to my head, causing me to have a horrible headache. So I put my head back down and decided that it could wait. I looked around to try and figure out where I was. I saw white walls, tables everywhere, bright lights, windows, and a door. I assumed that the door was to my room. I thought for a few minutes and then finally realized that I must be in a hospital. "But why would I be in a hospital?" I had thought.
Once again, I thought for a few minutes, willing for memories to come back in my head. When they did, I had wished they hadn't. Everything came rushing back to me all at once, causing a huge animal-like sound to come from my mouth. I cry for a long time. Longer than I think anyone has.
When I finally slowed my tears down, I looked at myself…or at least as much of me as I could see. When I did I saw a cast on my left leg, stitches all over my legs and arms. Also on my left arm, I had another cast. I saw severe burns on my feet and ankles. I think they got the worst of it. I also saw a bunch scabs…at least 100. I saw a piece of my hair on my shoulder and saw that it was singed and burned. Ugly.
I heard the door to my room open, and heard footsteps approaching me. It only sounded like one pair of feet though so I figured that it would either have to be a doctor, nurse, or a visitor. "But who would visit me?" I had thought. They got closer and closer and then I saw a woman, about mid-age, with long black hair, and a tan skin tone. She had tears pooling in her eyes. She had looked so familiar, but couldn't quite place my finger on who it was. So I closed my eyes and thought about who she may be. After a little while I remembered seeing her at around
Christmas time and my birthday each year. She and mom would hug and sit down on the couch for hours and talk about each other's lives and what they've missed out on and how much they had missed each other and all that. She was my mother's best friend. They had been really close through high school, then lost touch with each other when they went to separate colleges. They had found each other, about a year after graduating, at a grocery store in Florida. We had taken a vacation to Florida, just to get away from our small little town in Ohio for a little bit. Mom and I went shopping for basic things that some of us (me) forgot and as we were walking down the toothpaste aisle, we saw Tori. Mom had gone up to her and started crying. Tori cried too.
I joined in on the hug soon afterward, but not on the crying of course. We probably looked really funny. 3 people hugging and crying in a toothpaste aisle. When we finally pulled back, mom had said "I can't believe I found you!" And Tori just smiled and said "You better not leave me again missy!" My mom promised her that she wouldn't and asked if she wanted to stay with us for a little bit, while we were on vacation. She, of course, agreed.
While we were all there, we tried to make an agreement of when to see each other each year. Finally, we decided to all get together for my birthday, Caleb's birthday, and Christmas. One Christmas, my mom had looked at Tori and asked if she could talk to her privately. So they went into another room. It was late so I told Dad that I was tired and excused myself. What he hadn't known, is that I was going to go see what Tori and Mom were talking about. I eavesdrop a lot. And I mean A LOT. So I'm and expert.
When I reached the door, I had put my ear up against it and listened in. I could also see through the keyhole. I heard Mom saying "I need to ask you a very important question, Tori." Tori looked confused and worried. "What is it Natalie? Is something wrong? Are you hurt?" Mom just smiled and slightly chuckled. "No Tori, I'm not hurt, and neither is Andrew. This concerns the kids." "What about the kids? Nothing is wrong with them either…right? Said Tori. Mom took a deep breath in and said "Tori, if anything would ever happen to Andrew or I would you take Beatrice and Caleb? You're the only one I trust enough to do this." I heard Tori reply "Of course Natalie! I would take those kids in any day! They are wonderful kids. Let's just hope that nothing ever happens to you or Andrew though." "Me too, Tori. Me too." Mom had said. I saw them bent over and scribbling a little bit later and figured that they were probably writing down that information. I took that as a sign to go to my room and snuck quietly upstairs. The accident had happened 2 years later.
As I pull myself out of the memory, I hear Tori calling me for supper. Tori is now my legal guardian. You see, when everything had been settled in court, Tori decided to move to me instead of making me move to her. I love Tori a lot, but she will never be Mom.
As I walk down the stairs from my room to the dining room, a pleasant smell of chicken and pasta fills the air. When I get downstairs, I sit at the table and wait for Tori to bring supper out.
When she does, she serves me a plate of food that is filled. I know I won't eat all of it. I haven't been hungry ever since I woke up after that day. I have to eat though. Tori wouldn't let me starve to death. Although, I would like to sometimes. Just to disappear from all the pain, all the sadness, all the emptiness. Just imagining seeing them again makes my stomach fill with nervous excitement...but I know that Tori wouldn't allow it, plus I would feel bad if I left her alone. And I've already tried it once, but stopped part way through when Tori came in. I tried overdosing...but now I am ashamed of myself. It just proves I am more of a coward than I already am.
She gives me a look, just like she does at every meal. The look has worry, hope, sadness, and pleading. She knows I don't eat much.
I look down at my plate filled with chicken, pasta, peas, and orange slices. I looked back at Tori. She still wore that same look. Just to make her happy, I took an orange slice and ate half of that, took 2 bites of chicken, a half a spoonful of peas, and 2 bites of pasta. When I'm done with that, I look up at Tori. She just sighs and says "Go ahead. You've had enough. You are excused." I look up at her with a look of gratitude and slightly smile. She smiles back.
I never smile. Ever. I only smile at Tori and even then, it's not a very big one. I feel bad. Tori is trying her best. I know that she would give anything to make me better. And I'm thankful for that. I mean, even though I don't talk to her, and shut myself in my room almost all day, she still makes 3 meals a day and checks on me every so often, just to make sure I'm ok. I love Tori for trying. She is the only one who actually takes time out of her day to try. For me. That's why I smile at her only. No one else deserves it. No one else but her.
I hate to say it, but sometimes I just want to get out of this town. I feel like I'm trapped in my tiny hometown. I'm constantly plagued with memories. Whenever Tori takes me with her to go run some errands, I remember. Every turn we make brings a new memory. Caleb and I driving home from school together and stopping at the candy store every Friday to try a new candy. Mom and I going to the grocery store and end up taking 5 wrong turns, even though it's a very small town. I remember laughing with Dad when we went to go volunteer at different organizations when we messed up or said something that was very blonde of me. Memories, memories, memories. So many.
As I was saying, I wanna get out of here, so I can hopefully walk around without being made fun of, or being pushed down by some kids. But I don't know if that would be the right decision…well if I ever got the choice. Would it be wrong to leave the only town where you once had a happy, loving family? Would it be wrong to leave everything behind? Would it be wrong to leave just so you can start a new life? Is it wrong? Is it selfish?
Even asking myself countless times if it was wrong, I know that if I got the chance, I would be packed up and ready to leave within a day. But I don't know if I ever will get that chance, and that's why I don't let myself dwindle on that topic for too long at a time.
I sigh and lay back down on my bed. I miss mom. I miss dad. I miss Caleb. I miss my family and the happier days. I then remember that it was all my fault it happened. I start sobbing into my pillow. If I wouldn't have shrugged the car off in the first place and warned dad earlier, we would've been safe at the aquarium and back home. Even if that happened I still could've called 911 right away, instead of just standing there and do nothing but crying. I was stupid and a coward.
I stand up and go to take a shower. As I stand in the shower, I pick up my razor and start to add new cuts to my collection. I bring it to my thigh and slide it down once. One for my cowardliness. Once again, I bring it down. Two for my stupidity. Again. Three for letting Mom die right in front of my eyes. Again. For not warning dad earlier. Again. Being the only survivor. I switch it to my wrist. Again. Not letting the medics get to my family, even though they could've possibly saved them if it wasn't for me blocking their path. I do it over and over again. When I'm finally done I've added 11 new cuts and later scars. Satisfied with my pain, I get dressed and climb into bed, thinking about happier times. I start crying and slowly cry myself to sleep. Just like every night. I know my dreams will be plagued with nightmares about losing them. It happens every night. I'm absolutely terrified of what tonight's dreams will bring me, but fall asleep anyways, against my will.
So there you go! Sorry it wasn't a very exciting chapter. It was more of a filler…I feel bad. But pretty soon, everything will start to come together! Within the next 2-3 chapters! I promise! It was the longest chapter by far...they probably will start to become a little longer when I start to get into the story a little more...But it was 2.5k words! It counts for something right? I probably won't be able to update for a few days…my mom comes home from surgery tomorrow, and I will be helping her a lot. So here's my apology in advance! SORRY!:0:0:0 But please review! And should I have a QOTC? Please tell me your thoughts about that and this chapter! Pretty please? With a cherry on top? And if you don't like cherries…with candy on top? And if you don't like any candy...then you're just not human. Hehe... anyways...Thanks for reading!:) Audios Amigos!