Hey! So I have been typing a little bit of this chapter piece by piece every night…so I hope it isn't like that in the story! I've reread it many times…but I can't really judge my own work. So ya…here is Chapter 7! Once again, sorry for updating so late. Volleyball season is almost over guys! Hang with me!

Disclaimer: Ugh. Seriously! Does this have to be said every time! I do not own Divergent, and nor will I ever. As sad as it is. That's just reality folks.

Chapter 7

Tris POV

After meeting Marlene, Shauna, and Four, they all sit there talking. Well…everyone except Four. I found out that he doesn't talk much either. He just sits there, taking everything they are saying, and processing it in his brain. Every once in a while, he smiles or chuckles. But he never fully laughs or gives a huge grin. Just enough so you know that he isn't dead.

I start to wonder why that is…I mean, when Four was talking to me, I am pretty sure that that was the most he has said. It's probably nothing though. It's just me and my crazy, unrealistic thoughts. Me and him…nope. It's never gonna happen. Who would want me!? Nobody. Absolutely, no one. No one has ever wanted me, and they never will. Well except for Eric…never mind.

I force my thoughts to go back to the original question…why doesn't he talk much here? Maybe it's because they are girls? No. I'm a girl and he talked to me a lot. Hmm….

I know Four would probably want nothing to do with me. Wait- what am I thinking! Remember Tris!? Boyfriends are just an excuse for boys to use you and to get what they want. That's all. Yep! Four is no different! He was talking to me more because he was just being polite. "Exactly Tris. He was just trying to be polite. I mean, no one would ever want you anyways! Who wants a broken, ugly girl, who looks like she is 12 instead of 16! Who is selfish, weak, a coward, broken, lonely, friendless, doesn't talk-"says a little voice in my head. I try to cut it off, but the list keeps on going. The reasons echo in my head loudly. "Ugly, a coward, weak, selfish, friendless, lonely, don't look my age, lonely, bad social status, not popular, doesn't talk, looks like she is 12, doesn't eat, -" the voice in my head suddenly stops because of another noise talking its place.

It is replaced by a feminine voice. "Tris? Tris! Earth to Tris! Are you ok!? Tris?!" it says. I try to pull myself out of my thoughts, just enough so I can respond. I finally succeed enough just to nod. I see her worried eyes looking at me still, but eventually, she goes back to talking with the girls. She must know that I'm not going to give her an explanation.

I try to stop it, but the voice in my head keeps going. It keeps the cruel list going…on and on and on. "Ugly. Stupid. Selfish. Dumb. A coward. Weak. 12 year old." It says.

I keep trying to pull out of it, and it takes a while, but I finally succeed. The voice is very distant now. I can faintly hear it, though, and know that there will be some new cuts added to my collection tonight.

I have tried to stop cutting. I really have! But it's just impossible. My family is gone. I have Tori, but it's not the same. I still blame myself for what happened. I should've warned them earlier! Just like Dad said…in my dreams (or nightmares. Whatever you want to call them.) And even if I didn't, I still could've tried! I could've called 911 earlier, instead of having someone else do it for me, who was just a witness! If I were at home right now, there would be at least 3 cuts added already. Unfortunately though, I don't and can't have anything sharp here. I better save these thoughts for home, otherwise I might have a breakdown Right here. Right now.

I decide I better take a look at everybody. I look up and see the girls STILL talking, but Four is looking at me with a worried expression. Why would he be worried about me? "He's just faking it Tris. No one cares about you!" the voice says. It's probably right. Eric acted like the perfect gentleman; he was polite (sometimes), honest (or so I thought he was at the time), respected me (for a little while), and always would say I was beautiful. A lie. Lie after lie after lie. And I didn't know. I was so stupid! How could I have let that happen!

I start to dig my nails into my wrist, hoping that it would draw some blood. But unfortunately, my nails are very short because one of my habits is to bite my nails. Dang. I start to give up when the voice comes back. It says, "That's right, Beatrice. Give up just like the day you gave up on your family! You really are a worthless piece of junk."

I feel tears start to come to my eyes, but I blink them back and try to ignore what the voice just said. Although, I know it was right.

I manage to avoid a replay of the list, and look at Four again. He's still wearing the same look. I know he is faking it! I just know it! …Right? I don't know anything anymore. I probably will never get the truth again, anyways. So why does it matter?

I see Tori start to walk over here and I quickly meet her eyes. I'm hoping that I could just sit by her for a little bit, but act as if I have to. So she would have to ask me. I'm hoping she gets it with the quick eye contact. I have a pleading look in my eyes, and look over at her desk, then look at the one I'm sitting at now. Lucky for me, she gets it.

"Tris? Can you come sit by me for a little bit? I need to get some information from you since you're a new student here, and tell you some rules and guidelines that Mrs. Matthews seemed to have forgotten to tell you. Is that ok?" Tori asks. I nod my head yes quickly. I hope it wasn't too quick though…I don't want anyone finding out ANY of my past. Not yet.

I stand up and follow her to her desk. As we are walking, I feel many pairs of eyes, burning through my skull. I shake off the feeling and pull up a chair and sit by her at the desk.

So it looks like she is actually telling me the things that she said she needed to, she starts to ask me questions. But they aren't informational at all. Obviously. "So Tris," Tori starts to ask quietly, so the other students wouldn't be able to hear, "I see you've made a couple of friends?" She says that more as a question than a statement. Probably wanting me to confirm.

Well…I guess I have. For now. Christina, Marlene, Shauna, and Four. And maybe more to come at lunch time. I don't know how many will actually put up with me and how many will like me. I guess four people like me…Christina for sure. She was the first one that saw my smile. I actually appreciated her. It wasn't much of a smile, but it was something.

I look up at Tori and hold up four fingers. Indicating that I've made four friends. Then I slowly put down 3 of them, hoping that Tori will know that I have made one TRUE friend. She does and she gives me a huge smile. "See? I told you that not all people are the same!" she says. I guess she did. But I haven't even known them for an hour yet. They could easily turn away. So I just look at her and shrug my shoulders. She sighs, obviously hating that I didn't give in to her statement.

"Tris, when are you going to learn that people can like you and WILL like you? Those 4 people sitting right over there, accepted you without a second thought. They didn't hesitate to bring you into their friend circle! That's what true friends would do Tris! I know that you may not believe this now, but none of what happened is your fault. I know that you think it is, and it's been weighing your shoulders down. You've gone through too much for your age. Your only 16 for goodness sake! You shouldn't have had to go through that! It's not your fault! Our neighbors know it, your family knows it, I know it! Heck! Even strangers who read the newspaper or watched the news know it! Everyone seems to know it except for you. And that breaks my heart. I don't know how you've managed to put together that what happened was your fault, and I really don't want or need to know, because no matter what you say, nothing will change the fact that it wasn't your fault." Tori says.

What does she mean that it isn't my fault!? It is my fault! All of it! I thought everyone knew that! But according to Tori, no one does. I look down, refusing to look her in the eye. I don't want to see the dishonesty or pity in her eyes. She sighs, but continues to speak.

"You've always took the blame for everything, even when you were younger. When you and Caleb would get into trouble, you would take the blame because you thought it was the right thing to do and it was selfless, which was what you were taught to be. You would take the blame even when everyone knew that it wasn't you. You may not know it, but you are the most selfless person I've ever met in my entire life. You are an amazing girl, but you refuse to acknowledge it!" she says. Her voice gets even softer. "You are beautiful, selfless, brave, strong, and so many more things Beatrice. You are wonderful, but you refuse to acknowledge it. You're strong and brave, but refuse to believe it. You are selfless, but you don't even know it. You have a wonderful and beautiful sliver of Beatrice in you and you and I both know it. Beatrice is brave, selfless, strong, creative, beautiful, the list goes on. Beatrice is beautiful. Tris is beautiful. You are Tris. You are Beatrice. You're the same person. But you decided to make the dark side of you come out. And I know that I probably shouldn't be telling you all this, when I know that I probably would've ended up doing the same thing. But I need to tell you because you are beautiful. You are a beautiful person inside and out. That side of you is beautiful. But you always forget to show it." Tori says.

A tear streams down my face, not for her speech, and not because I believe her. But because of what she thinks I'm capable of. I know I'm not strong or beautiful or any of the things she said I was. But I do know that I once had a pretty side to me. A selfless and beautiful Beatrice. But I am Tris now. Ugly, broken, and someone you wouldn't dare to mess with. I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but I know that I am not going to go back to being Beatrice anytime soon. If there is any time at all, for a matter of fact.

I wipe off my tear and look at Tori. She is smiling a sad smile. She knows I don't believe her. But I need to show her that I am glad she said what she said. I give her one of my biggest smiles yet and look over at the room. Tori and I have seemed to play it off like it really was rules and regulations we were talking about, because nobody is looking over here anymore. Except for Four. Oh well. It's not like he would care anyways.

So since no one but Four is watching, I reach over and give Tori a hug. It's a quick hug, but I haven't ever really hugged Tori before. You can tell it catches her by surprise, but she soon hugs me back. It's a quick hug and we both let go at the same time. The bell rings right at that moment, so I smile one last time at Tori, and walk out the door. I'm just glad I have her as my teacher for 2 classes.

Christina, Marlene, Shauna, and Four all catch up to me pretty quickly. "so Tris, you ARE sitting with us at lunch, right?" Christina asks me. I nod my head yes. It's not like I'm going to be able to sit anywhere else. "YAY!" Marlene, Shauna, and Christina yell at the same time. "Tris! Let me see your schedule!" Marlene says. I dig in my book bag for a few seconds before finding the schedule and handing it to her.

After studying it for a little while she says, "Well it looks like I have 4th, 5th, and 7th period with you! It's better than nothing I guess…" She hands it to Shauna next. "I have 1st, 4th, and 7th period with you!" Shauna says. Then last but not least, they hand it to Four.

For some reason, I feel nervous. "Why are you nervous, Tris!? He's just a friend! If that!" I say to myself. I can't shake the nervous feeling off though, so I just do my best to ignore it.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he says, "Huh! I have 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th, and free period with you! Almost all of them!"

What!? He has almost as many classes with me as Christina! The only periods he doesn't have with me are 2nd and 6th. But it is only one less class than Christina, because he has free period with me. So that makes 6 classes in all with him! Wow. I wasn't expecting that. Not at all.

I simply nod at all of them. Shauna, Marlene, and Four. "Wait, Tris. What is your locker number?" Shauna asks.

To answer her question I hold up 3 fingers first, then after she nods her head, I hold up 6. "36?" She questions. I nod my head yes. Then she has a follow-up question. "Oh. So you're by Uriah...right?" Once again nod my head yes. "Well, I'm only 5 lockers away from you. I'm locker number 41." Shauna says. "Ya." says Marlene. "I'm locker number 34. So I'm right next to Uriah! We are only two lockers away from each other!"

Wow. I'm surrounded by all these people! Seriously!? How is this even possible? I guess I'm not mad about it. I mean…I'd much rather be next to them than by a slut or a bully…ya. I'm not mad at all actually, now that I think about it.

Four starts to talk. "I'm only 2 lockers away from you also. I'm locker number 38." He says. After he says that, we all have seem to have made it to our lockers. I try to put in my combination, but for some reason, I can't get it open as easily. Ugh. Just my luck. Make a fool out of myself in front of my maybe soon-to-be friends. Great.

Out of my frustration, I kick the locker a couple of times. Suddenly, I hear chuckling coming from straight behind me. I whip around and see Four standing there with an amused look on his face. "You know," he says, "kicking it won't help make it open any sooner." I'm sure I blush a deep color of red, because I hear him chuckle again. I didn't think that anybody ever saw my frustration kick. "Do you need help?" he asks. I bet I blush a darker shade of red, but I nod my head yes.

He puts his hand on the small of my back and pushes me away, gently of course, out of the way of the lock, so he can get to it. "What is your combination?" he asks. I figure that it would just be easier and quicker if I show him my schedule, instead of holding up my fingers. So I do. He tries putting in the combination, just once, and it opens.

I must have an incredulous look on my face because he just laughs. I look up at him then at my locker, hoping he will tell me how he did it. He gets it, just like earlier, and starts to explain. "Well, your locker is like mine. It is in the main area of the heater behind the wall, so it gets stuck real easily. All you have to do to get it open is put pressure on the lower part of the locker. Like, put your knee up against it or something as you open it. You get used to it after a while." He says. Now I feel stupid. Why didn't I think of that? I face palm. He just chuckles again and says, "Should we go to lunch now?" I nod my head yes and we head to the cafeteria.

He leads me there, making sure to give me a gradual tour as we go along. If we pass by one of my classes, he'll point it out and tell me which class it is. Pretty soon, we have made it down to the cafeteria. Then I realize that I still am not hungry. I know I should eat something, but I'm just not hungry. What should I do?! What will they think!? I take a deep breath through my nose and tell myself not to panic or stress over it too much.

I wave bye to Four and he smiles at me and goes toward the lunch line while I go to an extra cart, filled with fruit, ice cream, nachos, sandwiches, and a lot of other things. I think this is the cart for if you don't like the lunch that the school is serving that day. It must be. I get into that line and grab an apple through it. I pay for it at the end of the line and wait for Four to get out of the other lunch line so he can show me where everyone sits.

Soon enough, I see him walk out of it. When he sees me he waves me over and starts to walk toward a table in the back. I follow him to one of the very back tables, where I see a bunch of Dauntless sit. It doesn't surprise me. When we are almost there, I see 4 guys and 1 girl that don't look familiar. 2 of the guys look related...brothers I'm guessing.

Then, I see the girl. She has her head shaved…I wonder why she did that? Her face and eyes are pretty…I bet she would look even more pretty with her natural hair. Who am I to talk though? I did it too…changed my natural hair. I changed and dyed my hair. I wasn't pretty though…so it wouldn't have made a difference on whether or not I did change it.

Then I hear a, "TRIS! Tris! Four! We are over here! C'mon guys!" Christina. I would know that voice anywhere. Plus, no one in their right mind would scream at the top of their lungs at some one less than 5 feet away.

I look over at Four and he has this annoyed look on his face. I don't blame him. I probably have the same look on my face also.

We both sit down. He sits down next to me and 1 of the 2 possible brothers. I sit between him and Christina. Like I had another choice when Christina is here.

"Hey guys! This is Tris. She's the new girl! She's gonna be hanging with us from here on out! She's my new best friend! So. If any of you object to her, you'll have me to mess with me," says Christina. At the last sentence, she has a death glare on her face and I think everyone around the table is frightened that she could make another face than her usual happy, girly one. No one wants to mess with an angry Christina. I mean, I am an awesome fighter and even I wouldn't dare to mess with Christina.

The whole table is silent for a little while. Obviously everyone else thinks the same way. DO NOT mess with Christina in her serious state. You could die overnight without knowing what hit you. She's scary, but I've got to admit; the girl can scare the chizz out of people when she needs to.

"No objections? OK. OK. Good. I didn't think there were," says Christina after about 5 minutes of silence. "Now, you can continue your conversations!" she says. Slowly, everyone at the table starts to talk again. I just silently watch and take a bite out of my apple.

They all are constantly laughing with each other and it reminds me of better times. When I was as careless and carefree as them. Without a worry in the world. When someone would always be by my side, no matter what. When I was Beatrice. Sweet, careless, worriless, creative, and fun as them.

Memories start to flood and it seems like each memory is an eternity, when really, it is only a few seconds. Each memory is as painful as the last. Each memory starts to make me think of all of my flaws and how I could've still been living that life if I wouldn't have been as stupid as I was. I should've warned them, I should've spent more time with them, I should've been more aware of real life, I should've done so many things that I didn't. But now it's too late. And the worst part is that I can't change anything. I have to live my shitty life how it is. Nobody can change that. And that's what hurts the most.

Suddenly, everything starts to become too overwhelming and I take my half-eaten apple and run. I run away from the table where they sit laughing, I run away from my thoughts, I run away from cafeteria, I run away from reality. I'm not sure where I will end up, but I'm sure it will probably be Tori. I can't be around anyone else right now. And come to think of it, I don't even want Tori to see what a mess I am. I don't want anyone near me right now. So I keep running. And once again, I am a stupid, ugly, broken little girl, who runs away from her problems, instead of facing them. A stupid, ugly, broken little girl.

Hey I hoped you liked it! I had writer's block towards the end so I'm sorry if it wasn't what you expected! I'm supposed to be in bed right now, so I'm going to make this quick. I went paintballing with my youth group from church, and the last round we played was capture the flag! I was actually thinking about Divergent the whole time and every time I would get scared to move cause someone on the other team was close to me, I would think "I AM DAUNTLESS!" and run…I actually said it out loud one time and everyone thought I was crazy. Well, except for my friend. She knew what I was talking about and just was laughing her butt off. But I never got hit!;) So that's a good thing! My team won…it was girls against boys!;) GO GIRLS! But I guess that's all…so until next time…SEE YOU! THIS DAUNTLESS GIRL IS OUT! PEACE!