Welcome to the next instalment of my Unconventional Mom universe. I want to once again thank 41319always41319 for being my beta, sounding board and helping me whip this chapter in to shape.

I've been wanting to link a couple of story lines together, and this chapter gave me the perfect opportunity to do that.

Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews and follows. To say I'm overwhelmed by the support is an understatement.

Finally thank you to TORONTOSUN for the prompt – Kate comforting Alexis after a traumatic experience. I was a nurse in my previous career, and I found my alter ego taking over on several occasions. TORONTOSUN I hope I did your request justice.

Chapter 11: Emerging Adulthood

All eyes were on the stunning Captain as she strode through the Twelfth. The way her grey Burberry suit clung to her slim frame combined with her four inch Pour la Victoire's gave the woman an air of regal grace whilst commanding authority. Captain Kate Beckett was a conundrum to many; one part superhero, one part sex goddess, one part Paris runway model, and most recently, wife and mother.

Beckett stopped mid stride when she felt the eyes of her department upon her. 'What the hell are you all staring at? Get back to work!' the Captain bellowed with a sly smile and a shake of her head. 'Ryan, Espo where's my report on the Daniel's case?' Beckett yelled as she continued on her path to her office. 'And I need it sometime today boys, not next week,' she threw over her shoulder when she heard her two detectives bickering behind her.

Beckett fished around in her pocket for her cell as she felt the vibration at her hip. 'Hey Lanie, what've you got for me,' she answered with a smile. 'What?!...When?!' all eyes returned to the Captain as she stopped mid stride in the middle of the precinct floor. 'Ok…Ok… tell her I'm on my way,' Kate said urgently. 'Where?...alright I'll meet you on the ground floor,'

'Yo Beckett, everything all right?' Espo asked with concern as the Captain sprinted past his desk; he faintly made out 'happened to Alexis' as the lift doors closed.

Checking her watch as the lift descended, Kate figured her husband and mother-in-law would still be in the air on their way home from Los Angeles and wouldn't be landing for at least another hour. Taking a calming breath, Kate steeled herself because this would be the first time she'd have to deal with a distraught and grieving daughter, not just her fiancé's anguished kid missing her father.

The doors opened to the usual chaos of the precinct's ground level as she pushed her way out of the lift. Do people not have manners anymore? Kate groused as she returned the Desk Sargent's wave before she strode across the precinct's ground floor. Once she was clear of the crowd at the front desk, Kate stopped to survey the mass of people congregating in the front entrance to the precinct.

On most days Kate welcomed the noise and the smells of the Twelfth's public area. It screamed New York and represented everything that was good and bad about the city. However at this moment, all Kate could think about was how to get Alexis up to her office through the throng of people.

'Yo Captain, I just spoke with Lanie,' Kate startled as Esposito and Ryan appeared at her side. Even as their new boss, her boys were still her pillars of strength.

'Yeah, we figured you may need some help getting Little Castle upstairs,' Ryan finished.

Kate struggled with her emotions as she looked at her boys and squeezed their arms in appreciation. 'Thank you,' she whispered. 'So what do we know?' Kate asked as she cleared her throat and continued to watch the front door.

'Pedestrian hit and run outside of Columbia U,' Esposito informed. 'Alexis was with Lanie when they got the call out to the scene.' Kate squeezed her eyes tightly at the thought of her daughter arriving at the scene.

'I just got off the phone with Harrison over at the Twenty Sixth,' Ryan continued. 'Twenty three year old female, deceased by the time paramedics arrived; driver was caught at the intersection of Amsterdam and La Salle and currently in lockup. They're still waiting on the results of the drug and alcohol screening, but they're pretty sure he was high as a kite on ICE; the kid doesn't even remember driving the car.'

Kate closed her eyes as she asked her next question. 'And the name of the victim?'

'Student ID has her as an Andrea Murphy, third year Engineering student at CU,' Javier said quietly.

'You know the victim Boss?' Ryan asked at Kate's gasp.

Kate quickly composed herself as she nodded. 'Sorry guys, but they're finally here,' Alexis apologised. 'So real quick, this is Andie, Brittany, Luke, and Robbie,' Alexis gestured towards each person as they each said hi. 'Guys, my dad, Rick, and my mom, Kate,'

'Um I yeah, she's a…was a close friend of Alexis from school,' she replied sadly as she thought of the last time she'd seen the young brunette. She, Rick, Martha, and Alexis had joined Andie and her parents for dinner the previous week; a thank you gesture from Malcom and Zoe for looking out for their daughter while she studied so far away from home. 'How do I do this?' Kate asked nobody in particular as she looked towards the ceiling; Kate was trying desperately to quell her tears so she could look after her daughter when she arrived.

'Ah excuse me, Captain Beckett?' Kate turned to address the person who was speaking to her, only to find a young EMT speaking to a shocked older woman a few feet away from her.

'I'm Captain Beckett,' Kate corrected as she felt Esposito and Ryan move to flank her.

'Oh, I'm sorry ma'am,' the young man apologised to the woman he'd mistaken as the Captain. 'Ah ma'am sorry for the misunderstanding, you're Captain Beckett ma'am….um Ms. Castle's mom?' he asked in confusion.

Kate looked at her Detectives with alarm; Lanie said nothing about Alexis being injured. 'Yo buddy, where's Alexis?'

'Espo please,' Kate sighed tiredly. 'I'm sorry Mr…,'

'Henry Rauch ma'am; EMT with the Nineteenth,' the young man responded as he shuffled nervously on the spot. 'My unit was called out to a pedestrian down outside Columbia U,' he explained. 'The rig's pulled up around back. Doctor Parish thought it was best to bring Ms. Castle through the rear entrance,' Henry advised.

'I don't understand. Lanie didn't say anything about my daughter being injured?'

'Ah yes ma'am…I mean no ma'am….well physically she's fine.' Under normal circumstances Kate would've found the young man's flustered nervousness endearing, but not today.

Henry called on his training to calm himself as he gave the Captain his detached clinical run down on her daughter. 'Ms. Castle is still in a mild state of shock but refuses to be taken the to hospital for observation,' the EMT informed. 'We've treated her as best we can and we've been able to clear Ms. Castle of any physical injuries. Your daughter's responsive and aware of her surroundings and her vitals are stable, but she'll need monitoring over the next couple of hours to ensure her condition doesn't deteriorate. Doctor Parish didn't want to leave Ms. Castle on her own, but has to go back the Medical Examiner's Office and Ms. Castle requested to be brought here.'

'Hey Boss, Lanie's coming in now with Alexis.' Kate watched as Ryan and Esposito moved towards the back of the precinct.

'Thank you Mr. Rauch,' Kate said as she turned to follow her Detectives. 'Henry Rauch?' Kate asked as she turned back to the EMT.

'Yes ma'am,'

'I believe Alexis met you a few weeks ago,'

'Well I met Clara Striker about a month ago ma'am….and I have to say, you're looking much better than in the surveillance footage I saw of you breaking into my rig,' Henry blushed profusely when he realised what he said, and Kate once again wished she'd met the young man who'd helped her daughter under different circumstances.

Both Henry and Kate startled as the EMT's radio burst to life. 'Hey Romeo, say goodbye to your girlfriend and get your ass out here. Meet me out front, we gotta go.' The young man blushed in a dozen different shades of red as he turned back to Kate. 'Captain Beckett, it was a pleasure to meet you…I mean if it were under different…I gotta go,' the young man stuttered as he raced towards the front entrance of the precinct.

Kate smiled sadly as she watched Henry disappear out the front door of the precinct. Despite their very brief encounter, the Captain got a good vibe from him and she would have to have words with her daughter as to why she never called Mr. Rauch back.

'Kate?' Kate turned to find Lanie, flanked by Ryan and Esposito, standing by the open lift doors and was shaken when she caught a glimpse of Alexis, who was clinging to the Medical Examiner. Her heart broke at the protective stance her boys were taking, shielding the traumatised young woman from the noise and stares.

Even on a good day, her daughter was pale, but at this moment, Alexis was positively white, some would argue grey. 'Lanie?' Kate moved swiftly as Lanie and the boys moved onto the lift, and the five occupants huddled together as the lift started its climb.

'Hey girl,' Lanie smiled sadly at Kate. 'Come take your baby, she's had a rough morning,' the Medical Examiner went to untangle the young woman from her arms, but Alexis clung tighter. 'Hey sweetie it's OK, Kate and the boys are here,' Lanie murmured softly as she looked towards the Captain.

'Alexis?' Kate moved so the young woman could see her and looked worriedly to Lanie. 'Hey sweetheart, it's Kate,' she tried again as she smoothed a hand through her daughter's hair. Alexis blinked and looked at her mom as if in a daze. 'Hi baby girl,' Kate could see the fog clear from her daughter's eyes as recognition set in.

Alexis straightened up immediately and took in her surroundings. 'Doctor Parish what are we doing here?' the young woman asked in agitated confusion as the lift doors opened. 'We're supposed to be back at the morgue,' she argued as she struggled to remove the Medical Examiner's grip on her and remain in the lift.

Lanie tried to calm the young redhead as Alexis continued to struggle. 'Alexis honey you wanted to come here remember? You didn't want to go to the emergency room so we agreed you'd come here,' the Medical Examiner explained calmly as Kate looked on with fear and concern. While the Captain had helped her daughter through a panic attack, this was something completely different.

'No no no, I have to go back, Andie's all alone. Who's going to look after her?' Alexis yelled as she looked towards her mom. 'Kate, make Lanie take me back, you're a Captain you can order her to,' Alexis' distress became worse as the small group stepped off the lift and the doors closed behind them. 'Please, you have to make her take me back,'

Kate looked helplessly towards Lanie and boys, completely out of her depth on what to do. 'Honey, how about you come and sit in my office for a little while,' Kate soothed as she gathered her daughter into her arms.

'And then you'll take me back?'

'We'll see how you're feeling OK?' Kate saw Lanie nodding at her answer. Looking towards Ryan and Esposito, the boys took the initiative and went to settle the precinct floor before Kate attempted to take Alexis to her office. 'Sweetheart come and lay down for a little while OK?' Alexis nodded and allowed her mom to lead her towards the Captain's office. Lanie followed behind the two women and gave Esposito and Ryan a sad smile and mouthed 'thankyou' as she walked past them.

The precinct floor was eerily quiet as Kate neared her office, her colleagues giving Beckett and Alexis discreet looks of sympathy as they passed by. Many had only known Beckett as the tough, by the book NYPD Officer who'd risen through the ranks to become Captain. This was their first glimpse at the mother Kate had become.

As the three women entered the Captain's office, Kate tried to manoeuvre Alexis to the couch. 'Come on sweetheart, let's just sit,' Kate was becoming more concerned at Alexis' anxiousness as the young woman stood fidgeting in the middle of her office.

'But you'll let me go back right?' Alexis was looking wildly between her mom and the Medical Examiner. 'I have to make sure Andie's OK when her mom and dad get here….who's with her now? She's all on her own, I can't leave her alone, how will Mr. and Mrs. Murphy know where to find her…'

'Alexis sweetie,' Lanie calmed as she stood in front of the young woman and gently grasped Alexis' shoulders. 'Doctor Perlmutter and Kelly are with her now OK? You know they'll take good care of her,' Lanie soothed as she led Alexis to the couch. 'Right now, the best thing you can do for Andie is to stay here with Kate and rest a little,' Lanie straightened and turned to Kate after she managed to get Alexis to sit on the couch. 'When's Rick back?' she asked softly.

'He and Martha are about half an hour out of LaGuardia, so they're a couple of hours away at least. Martha insisted on catching the red eye so she could perform this evening,' Kate answered as she moved to sit next to her daughter and smoothed a lock of hair behind Alexis' ear. She was shocked by the almost vacant stare in her daughter's eyes as Alexis turned to look at her mom. 'Oh sweetheart, you've had a rough day haven't you?' Kate murmured. Alexis just nodded and allowed her forehead to fall on her mom's shoulder. 'Are you sure she's OK? She's so cold,' Kate asked Lanie with concern. Kate could feel the cold, clammy skin of her daughter's forehead against her neck.

'She's still in shock, not as severe as it was but I'm still concerned,' Lanie explained. 'I wanted to send her to the ER for observation, particularly after her vitals dropped when she collapsed at the scene, but Alexis refused so legally there was nothing I could do. I did persuade her to allow the EMTs to monitor her until I felt comfortable enough that she was OK, but Kate she'll need monitoring over the next few hours. I knew Castle wasn't home and she kept asking for her mom, so I brought her here,' Lanie looked on sadly as Kate helped Alexis stretch out on the couch, placing the young woman's head in her lap.

'She told me the other week one of her greatest fears was attending a callout where she knew the victim,' Kate sighed as she gently carded her hand through her daughter's hair.

'Yeah, well, she's one tough cookie, I'll give you that,' Lanie said with a touch of pride as she folded her arms and leaned back against Kate's desk. 'I don't know how she held it together for as long as she did once she recognised the victim as one of her friends. We'd just about had the young woman in the van when Alexis collapsed. The EMTs hadn't left the scene yet so they were able to help me….I hadn't even noticed Alexis had shut down, I should have recognised the signs Kate. I'm a friggen doctor for Christ's sake.'

'Lanie it's not your fault, I don't even know how you can think that,' Kate reassured her best friend. 'I'm just thankful she was with you. I know Perlmutter would have looked after her, but I'm glad Alexis had you,' Kate smiled gratefully.

'Yeah well I think her handsome, young EMT deserves more praise than I do.' Lanie said as she straightened up and moved towards the couch. 'Anyway, now that I know our girl's safe, I need to get back to the morgue. Make sure to keep her warm, and try to keep her awake. Just remember severe shock can set in hours after the initial trauma. So many people make the mistake of thinking only a physical injury can cause shock, but emotional trauma can be just as dangerous. If you're concerned don't hesitate to call 911 OK?'

'OK,' Kate replied as Lanie squeezed her shoulder.

'I'll organise the counselling and debriefing on my end, the sooner the better so that means tomorrow,' Lanie cautioned as she squatted down so she could talk to Alexis. 'Hey sweetie, I've gotta head out, you OK here with Kate?' Lanie asked as she caressed the young woman's cheek. Kate didn't miss the fact that Lanie deliberately didn't mention returning to the morgue as she felt Alexis nod from where her head was still resting on her mom's lap. 'You gonna be ok?' Lanie asked as she looked up at Kate.

'Yeah, we'll be fine….thank you again for taking care of her.'

Lanie rose back up to a standing position, groaning as her knees popped on the way up. 'I'm getting too old for this shit,' she grumbled. 'And no comments from the peanut gallery,' the Medical Examiner warned as Kate gave her best friend a sly smile.

'Wouldn't dream of it,' Kate challenged. 'Can you send Ryan in on your way out?' she requested as Lanie moved towards the door.

'Sure thing….call me if you need anything ok?' and with that Lanie gently shut the office door as she left the office.

Kate allowed herself to relax back against the couch as she continued to run a soothing hand through her daughter's hair. Alexis hadn't moved from where she lay with her head still in her mom's lap, and Kate was becoming concerned with her daughter's silence.

Beckett had dealt with colleagues, witnesses, and victims of crime while they were in shock, but she'd been able to maintain a clinical detachment and her interaction with them was usually brief. This, however, was different because someone she desperately loved was in so much pain, and she didn't know how to fix it.

Recalling her first aid training, Kate gently squeezed Alexis' shoulder. 'You still with me sweetheart?' Kate asked as she felt Alexis nod. 'Are you warm enough?'

'I'm OK,'

Kate looked towards the office door when she heard a gentle knock. 'Hey Boss, you wanted to see me?' Ryan asked as he poked his head around the door.

'Yeah, come on in, close the door behind you,' Kate requested, conscious of the prying eyes of the precinct floor. 'What's the latest?'

Ryan looked at Beckett as if to ask 'are you sure' before continuing at her nod. 'The suspect was allegedly fleeing a mugging gone wrong which escalated to a carjacking. That's why the Twenty Sixth initially responded,' Ryan explained. 'Perp was caught after running down the victim and ploughing into a stationary car.' Kate felt Alexis flinch as Ryan described her friend as a victim. 'The initial tox screens came back positive for high levels of meth amphetamines. They're just waiting on the official blood results.'

'What about Andie's parents? Have they been notified?'

'Yeah, Uni's worked with Columbia to contact the Murphy's. Harrison says they're trying to make their way in from Hesston, where ever that is.'

'Kansas,' Alexis whispered. 'Andie's dad's an engineer….tractors or something. He did tell us last week…Kate they're going to need somewhere to stay when they get here.' Kate noticed that Alexis was becoming agitated again and moved to calm her.

'I'll get Lanie or Detective Harrison to let us know when her mom and dad can get here OK?' Kate soothed. 'They can stay with us until they arrange to take Andie home.' Kate felt her daughter whimper and clutch at her mom's skirt as the reality of the situation started to sink in.

'She wanted to be an engineer like her dad,' Alexis said as she lost the battle with her emotions. 'Andie called me yesterday, her transfer to Kansas State had been accepted for the new year. She was so excited to be going home because she missed being near her family. I was going to call her this morning to have lunch, but I was too busy and got distracted…if I'd called her she wouldn't have left the campus when she did….she'd still be alive…' Alexis sobbed as she wrestled with her guilt. Kate realised that Lanie was right in that her daughter needed counselling and debriefing as soon as possible.

'Baby girl, it's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done to have prevented this,' Kate soothed. 'The person who ran her down, it's their fault. It's their fault for stealing a car while under the influence of drugs.' Kate continued to card her hand gently through her daughter's hair as she tried to settle Alexis again.

'The Captain's right Alexis,' Kevin agreed. 'What you can do for Andie is work with Lanie, Perlmutter, and the guys from the Twenty Sixth to make sure the courts have every shred of evidence you can provide them; to make sure the person who is responsible faces the full force of the law.' Alexis sat up and moved to sit next her mom. Kate gathered the young woman into her arms and smiled gratefully at her Detective as Alexis burrowed her head into her mom's neck.

'Thanks Kevin'

'Maybe you should take her home Kate.' Kate looked up sharply at Ryan when he addressed her. 'One of us can drive you.'

'I can't, Kevin. I'm on duty. How's it gonna look if I take off during the day?'

'It'll make you look like a parent Kate,' Kevin stated like it was the most normal thing in the world. Kate felt the tears she'd been holding back trickle down her cheeks. 'Castle should be very close to landing by now,' Ryan continued. 'I'll get one of the Uniforms to go pick him and Martha up and take him straight to the loft,' Ryan offered.

'Kevin, we can't waste police resources like that,' Kate smiled at her Detective's generous heart. She'd mentioned in passing the day before that her husband was due home the following morning. This was despite her husband complaining about Martha wanting to stay an extra day. It meant having to fly all night to get home. Kate remembered the friendly ribbing both Espo and Ryan had given her about welcoming him home. 'Castle's already got the car service booked, I'll text him to call me as soon as he lands and get him to pick us up on the way home,' Kate said as she pulled her cell out of her pocket. 'We'll need to get the spare room ready if Andie's mom and dad agree to stay with us.'

'OK Boss, let me know if you need anything else.'

'Kevin?' Detective Ryan stopped as he opened the office door and looked back at Kate. 'Thank you for being such a good friend to all of us.'

Detective Ryan blushed and looked down towards his shoes. 'No problem Boss. I'll keep you updated on any new developments,' he said as he closed the door behind him.

'How you doing there kiddo?' Kate asked her daughter. Alexis was becoming a dead weight against her side, and Kate was worried the young woman was drifting off to sleep.

'I don't feel well,' the young woman mumbled. Kate wondered if this is what Alexis sounded like when she was a little girl.

'That's normal sweetheart. Do you want to lie down again?' Alexis shook her head as she sat up and leaned back against the couch. Kate was surprised at how pale her daughter still looked, her checks were flushed and her skin was still slightly clammy as she brushed Alexis' hair from her face.

'Makes me feel more nauseous. How do I get the images out of my head Kate?' Alexis asked desperately as she pushed her fists into her eye sockets. 'Every time I close my eyes I see Andie lying in the middle of the road. He just left her there to die….like a piece of garbage….how does someone do that to another human being?' Alexis sobbed.

'I wish I could give you the answers sweetheart, but I can't,' Kate soothed as she gently pulled her daughter's hands away from her face. 'Even after sixteen years with the NYPD, I still don't have an answer for why people behave the way they do.'

'Then why do you still do it? What's the point?'

'Because people like Andie, and my mom, they need us to speak for them. They need us to fight for justice for them and their families. And that's why, after sixteen years, I still get up every morning and put on my badge and my gun and come to work. There are vulnerable people in society who need our protection, but they also need for us to fight for them when they can't.' Alexis nodded as she allowed her mom to pull her into her arms again. 'You won't be alone in this sweetheart, your dad and I will be with you every step of the way. We'll help you get justice for Andie and her parents.' Alexis squeezed her mom tightly before settling.

'Kate, your pocket's buzzing.'

'That'll be your dad.' Kate shifted to pull her cell from her pocket and hit answer before putting the cell on speaker. 'Beckett'

'Why Captain Beckett, you just couldn't wait to hear your husband's ruggedly handsome voice could you?'

'Yeah, you got me Castle, but seriously, you're on speaker and I have Alexis with me.'

'If you're at work, why is Alexis with you?' Rick asked with concern.

'What's wrong darling? What's wrong with Alexis?' Kate heard Martha ask in the background.

'Rick she's fine, she attended a crime scene earlier today….her friend Andie was killed this morning in a hit and run,'

'Shit!'

'Oh Richard…oh that poor girl…Katherine, how's my granddaughter?' Martha asked urgently.

'Martha she's fine, she's experiencing a little shock, but physically she's fine. Can you guys swing by the precinct on the way home and pick us up?'

'Yes darling, we're on our way…. oh Richard, let the car service collect the luggage, they can drop it by the loft later.' Kate was thankful for Martha's level head.

'Right Mother…..you're right.'

'I'm going to hold you to that Kiddo.'

Kate couldn't help but smile at the conversation between mother and son. She could just picture Castle walking around in an aimless circle while Martha tried to calm him down.

'Kate we should be about twenty minutes depending on traffic….Pumpkin you ok?'

'Alexis is fine Castle, she's just had a rough morning.'

'I'm OK dad,' Alexis slurred as she struggled to stay awake.

'Hey sweetie I need you stay with me OK? You can go to sleep when we get home.'

'Kate, are you sure she's ok?'

'Richard the cars here,' Kate heard Martha advise in the background.

'Babe, she's fine. Just promise me you won't break any speeding records on the way here,' Kate asked.

'I can't be held responsible for the way Tony drives,' Rick argued as Kate heard the slamming of car doors in the background. 'Yeah, Tony, we need to swing by the Twelfth on the way. There's an extra hundred in it if you get us there in under fifteen minutes.'

'You got it Mr. Castle.'

'Rick,' Kate sighed in frustration.

'We'll be there soon. And Kate?'

'Yeah babe?'

'I love you,' Rick whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

'I love you too Rick,' Kate replied before she pressed end and pocketed her cell.

Alexis straightened up again, and Kate felt the tingling sensation of the blood circulation being restored to the arm her daughter had been resting on. She watched on as Alexis looked around the office. Kate guessed her daughter was trying to keep herself distracted from the thoughts and visions running round in her head. 'Do you want to talk about what happened this morning?' Kate asked.

Alexis shook her head in the negative before shifting her focus to the windows looking out over the precinct. 'I put one of my best friends in a body bag this morning, and yet out there...' Alexis said as she tilted her head towards the people going about their normal work day. '...life goes on as normal…..I'm struggling to reconcile that.'

Kate sat silently as she let her daughter gather her thoughts. She'd been where Alexis was right now, and understood the conflict going on in the young woman's head. 'How do you do it, Kate? I've attended a lot of crime scenes, helped with numerous autopsies without a problem, yet today is the first time this job has ever affected me….I fell apart' Alexis confessed. 'How do you live with what you see every day; what you experience…how do you turn your mind off when you go home?' Alexis turned to her mom, and Kate could see the desperation in her daughter's eyes. 'How can I expect to become a police officer?'

'I'm not going to lie to you sweetheart, there's no magic fix, and I'm probably the poster girl for what not to do,' Kate admitted. 'And today you dealt with a situation those of us in law enforcement dread; knowing the victim. You'll learn to compartmentalise your emotions so you can stay focused on your job. My advice is to talk to someone at the end of every day, it doesn't matter who it is. It can be someone at the morgue, or any of the guys here, they're always available for you. And don't ever be afraid to come and talk to me or your dad. Please don't feel like you're burdening us,' Kate begged. 'Make it a habit to decompress every day and don't bottle things up,'

'What did you do before you met dad?' Alexis asked.

Kate smiled sadly as she remembers the shell of a person she was a few years ago. 'I did the exact opposite of what I just advised you to do,' Kate admitted. 'I refused to talk to anyone, refused to admit I needed help because I viewed it as a weakness. I didn't want to burden people with my problems.' Kate shrugged. 'Your father taught me that asking for, and accepting, help is one of the bravest things a person can do because it's when they're at their most vulnerable. Your dad's helped me through some very tough times, and I make it a point to decompress with him every day.'

'Ewww,' Alexis whispered at her mom's double entendre, but Kate was grateful to finally see a smile on her daughter's face from their ongoing joke.

'You know, one day soon, you're going to have a boyfriend, and then someday you'll marry a fantastic guy, and find out how wonderful it is to decompress every day.'

'But Andie won't,' Alexis suddenly felt guilty for smiling and feeling happy for a moment.

'No she won't. That was stolen from her,' Kate said as a matter of fact. 'And you're allowed to feel anger and grief, but you're also still allowed to feel joy and happiness. I also understand your guilt right now, and that's perfectly normal as well,' Kate explained. 'It's when you allow those feelings of guilt, grief, and anger to consume your life that it becomes unhealthy….take it from the person who wrote the handbook.' Kate reached down to where Alexis was wringing her hands together in agitation to still her daughter's movements. 'Lanie's going to arrange for you to see a councillor tomorrow. You're probably aware it's standard procedure after an experience like this.' Alexis nodded her head as she stared towards her mom's desk. 'You know your dad will go with you if you ask him to, or I'm happy to be there, but you need to go OK?'

'OK…I'll ask dad, I don't want you to have to take any more time off work,' Alexis answered timidly.

'Hey, what part of our discussion about not feeling like a burden didn't you get?' Kate tried to keep the frustration out of her voice, but knew she'd failed by the miserable look her daughter was giving her.

'Sometimes….it's still difficult to ask,' Alexis whispered as she looked down at their joined hands. 'I'm still getting used to the fact that you haven't left yet, that you actually want to be part of my life, and that you don't see me as some type of baggage…..or a way to get to my dad.'

'Oh sweetheart,' Kate soothed. Beckett silently cursed Meredith, and to a degree Gina, and understood why her husband never allowed any woman he dated anywhere near his daughter. 'I'm not going to ply you with platitudes because you've probably heard them your entire life,' Kate said as Alexis nodded. 'I'm still getting used to being part of a family that loves me unconditionally, people who need me as much as I need them…..it just gives us something to continue to work through together,' Kate smiled.

'How did….,' Alexis swallowed before she asked her next question. 'How did you cope without your mom? How did you do this without her?' she whispered as she wiped the tears off her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt. 'Don't get me wrong, I have the best dad in the world…..but there are times…'

'You just need a mom?' Kate finished.

Alexis looked towards Kate, thankful the older woman could read her mind so easily. 'You spend so much of your teenage years wanting to be an adult and having independence….but when you become an adult and get your independence….there are times you wish you could go back to being a kid again. Does that make sense?' Alexis asked.

'It makes perfect sense,' her mom smiled sadly. 'And I didn't cope without my mom,' Kate answered honestly. 'My one remaining parent became a reclusive alcoholic, so I had no one to help guide and support me through my grief and anger,' Kate explained. 'My main focus and drive when I dropped out of Stanford and joined the Academy, was to gain access to my mom's case. I'd built an impenetrable wall around myself so no one could get close to me. I figured if I never allowed anyone in, and kept them at arm's length, I could never get hurt again. At my very worst I was manic to the point of nearly being expelled from the NYPD.'

'But didn't Captain Montgomery and your training officer help you?' Alexis asked as she recalled a recent conversation between herself and Kate.

'They helped in their own way, helped stop the self-destructive path I was on, which essentially meant walking away from my mom's murder,' Kate explained. 'It wasn't until I fell in love with your dad that I realised, for the first time since my mom died, that I wanted to get better so I could love him the way he deserved to be loved….you were an added bonus,' Kate smiled.

'Yeah, like a free set of steak knives,' Alexis mumbled.

'Ah yes, but a home isn't complete without a set of steak knives.' Alexis smiled at her mom's response before she moved to rest her head against Kate's shoulder again. 'I met your Mr. Rauch today.' Alexis knew exactly where this conversation was going as she turned her face into Kate's neck. 'From our brief conversation, I got the distinct impression you never called him back….wanna tell me why?'

'Because I'm scared,' Alexis mumbled.

'Scared of what sweetheart?'

'Scared of falling in love with someone and it not working out…..scared of not being important to them anymore….I don't know if I'm ready to risk my heart again after what happened with Pi,' Alexis whispered. 'And not just with Pi, but how I nearly destroyed my relationship with dad.'

Kate's heart broke at the emotional walls her daughter had already started to build around herself. To the outside world, Alexis had lived the perfect childhood with the perfect father. But underneath the laser tag, movie marathons, private schools, and everything else Rick had done, trying to be both mother and father to his daughter, was a young woman who'd been deeply hurt by the people who'd left her during her life.

'Oh sweetheart,' Kate sighed. 'Take it from someone who's spent the past four years tearing down her walls, cutting yourself off from the possibility of love doesn't work. You only end up hurting yourself, but more importantly, you hurt the people who are trying to love you. You didn't discuss this with Doctor Burke?' Kate asked.

Alexis shook her head. 'No…I kinda didn't go back to see him after I came home from Europe,' her daughter admitted.

'Kinda or didn't?' Kate questioned.

'Didn't,'

'Why not?'

'I didn't see the need. I had my panic attacks under control so I decided not to go back,' Alexis confessed as she sat up straight again. Alexis' restlessness was not lost on Kate as she continued to monitor her daughter. 'Can we not talk about this anymore,' Alexis begged.

'I'll leave it for now, but this is definitely a conversation we'll be having again sometime in the near future OK?' Alexis nodded before letting her head fall against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. 'He is cute though,' Kate teased.

Alexis turned to look at her mom without lifting her head from its resting place. She tried but failed to hide the nervous smile on her face. 'Yeah he is,' Alexis admitted shyly.

Kate felt the vibration of her cell in her pocket. 'That'll be your dad….again,' Kate sassed as she pulled the phone from her pocket. 'Hey babe….….yeah, we're in my office….Rick, she's fine. I promise….no that's good…ok see you in a moment,' Kate pressed end and pocketed her cell again. 'Your dad's on his way up. Martha's with Tony, circling the block. Are you ready to head downstairs?' Alexis nodded as she continued to stare at the ceiling. Kate squeezed her daughter's knee as she rose from the couch. Moving to her desk, Kate proceeded to shut down her computer and gather her bag to take home with her.

Both women looked out to the precinct floor when they heard a commotion. 'Dad was never one to make a quiet entrance,' Alexis sighed as she prepared herself for her father entering the office. The young woman knew the moment her dad swept her up into a hug; she wouldn't be able to control her emotions any longer.

'Pumpkin?' it was almost comical the way Rick burst into the Captain's office, and as Alexis predicted, her father immediately sat beside her and gathered his daughter into his arms. 'I'm so sorry sweetheart,' he whispered into his daughter's hair before placing a loving kiss on her crown.

Rick looked helplessly towards Kate as he listened to his daughter sob as she clung to him. Kate placed her belongings back on her desk and walked over to her husband. 'You look exhausted,' Kate whispered before she bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her husband's forehead.

Kate watched on as her husband allowed his head to fall forward so that his forehead rested against her stomach. She gently carded her fingers through his hair in an effort to comfort and reassure him. 'Yet my mother looks like she's just stepped out of hair and makeup, and not like someone who's been up for nearly twenty four hours,' Rick groused.

'Yes well, she is Martha Rogers,' Kate teased. 'We should head downstairs so Tony can pick us up,' Kate suggested, and she felt her husband nod in agreement against her stomach.

Straightening back up, Rick looked up at his wife with such love that Kate struggled to maintain eye contact with him. This was the man the public never saw, the loving husband and father, the man who would gladly sacrifice everything for the people he loved.

Shifting back slightly, Rick looked down at his daughter who was now silent and looking as though she was about to fall asleep. 'Alexis, honey, we're going home now OK?' Rick said as he caressed a hand up and down his daughter's back.

'OK,' she whispered as she moved back from her father.

The three occupants of the room turned to look towards the office door when they heard a soft knock. 'Sorry to interrupt Captain,' Ryan said as he poked his head around the office door.

'No, don't apologise Ryan,' Kate motioned for the Detective to enter her office. 'What have you got for me?' she asked as she moved towards her desk to collect her bag again.

'I just got off the phone with Harrison, up at the Twenty Sixth,' Ryan explained for Castle's benefit. 'The Murphy's won't be in the city until after ten tonight. Apparently Hesston isn't the easiest place to fly out of. It's about an hour's drive down to the airport in Wichita, and a layover in Chicago, but they've been able to book a four pm flight,' Ryan walked over and handed Kate a piece of paper. 'This is their flight info into JFK….I uh kinda mentioned to Harrison that you'd be looking after them when they arrived tonight.'

'Thank you,' Kate's voice was thick with emotion as she took the information from her Detective.

'I'll arrange with Tony to have Malcolm and Zoe picked up and brought back to the loft,'

'Thank you dad,' Alexis squeezed her dad's arm before she rose from the couch and walked over to Detective Ryan. 'Thank you Detective Ryan, for all your, and Detective Esposito's help today,' the Detective was caught off guard as Alexis wrapped him in a hug; Detective Ryan returned the gesture before quickly stepping back.

'Ah…no problem,' Kate smiled at the bright shade of red her Detective had turned. 'I need to get back to work,' and with that Ryan exited the office as quickly as he could.

'We'd better head downstairs before Tony drops your mom off on the side of the road and takes off,' Kate teased as she walked over to her daughter and took her hand.

'Already on it….the picking us up, not dumping mother…although,'

'Dad!'

'Right…of course,' Rick teased as he pulled his cell from his pocket.

'Are you going to be OK?' Kate asked her daughter. Alexis just nodded as she allowed Kate to pull her in for a hug. 'I love you,' Kate whispered into her daughter's hair.

'I love you too,' Alexis murmured. 'Thank you, for being here for me today.'

'Always, baby girl.' Kate looked over to her husband, and she could feel the blush creep up her neck from look of adoration Rick was giving her.

'Ah…,' Rick cleared his throat as he refocused his thoughts, damn his wife for being perfect. 'Tony's about a block away, he should be out front by the time we make it onto the street,' he advised. 'You going to be OK going downstairs Pumpkin?' Alexis stepped back from her mom and nodded.

'What have you lost?' Kate asked as she watched Alexis look frantically around the office.

'Where's my bag,' Alexis said with alarm.

'Honey, it'll be at the morgue,' Kate soothed. 'Lanie's probably already got it locked in her office for safe keeping. We can collect it tomorrow OK?' Kate looked towards Rick with concern as she noticed her daughter becoming agitated again.

'Kate's right, sweetheart,' Rick walked over to Alexis and gently gathered her into his side.

'Do I still have to go for counselling tomorrow?' Rick looked to his wife in confusion at his daughter's question.

Kate nodded. 'Yes sweetheart, Lanie's going to call me to let me know what time your appointment is, but you do have to go.'

'Did you want me to go with you?' Rick asked gently.

Alexis nodded her head where it was resting against her dad's chest. 'Yes please,' she whispered. 'Can we go home now?'

'Sure thing Pumpkin,' Rick kept a hold of his daughter as they walked towards the office door. 'What's wrong sweetheart?' her dad asked, when the young woman stopped suddenly.

'Everyone's going to be looking at me,' Alexis whispered with concern.

Kate looked out to the precinct floor. Esposito must have noticed the family making their way towards the office door, and from the way he was gesturing, he was telling everyone to get back to work. 'No they won't,' Kate assured. 'Every single person out there has been exactly where you are right now. They will never judge you, and they will always be here to support you.'

Alexis nodded, allowing her dad to continue leading her as her mom opened the office door and walked over to her two lead Detectives. Rick continued to guide his daughter to the lift, presuming his wife was giving Ryan and Esposito instructions for the afternoon.

Kate joined her family just as the lift doors opened, and the three of them stepped into the thankfully empty car. As the lift descended, Kate moved to flank her daughter, a protective barrier against the chaos they would encounter on the ground floor. 'You ready?' Kate asked Alexis as the lift's bell announced its arrival at the precinct's lobby.

Alexis nodded as she straightened up. While she didn't move out of her father's protective embrace, Kate watched the vulnerability disappear from her daughter's face, and was replaced by strength and determination. 'I'm ready,' she stated.

Kate was ready for the throng of people as the doors opened, and cleared a pathway through the waiting crowd, so her husband could lead his daughter out of the lift. Once clear, Kate returned to flank her daughter as the small family moved towards the front entrance of the precinct, and onto the street.

'Katherine darling, we're over here!' Kate looked for her mother-in-law's voice, and saw the car double parked just up the street. Martha was waving frantically to gain her families attention.

'Your mom wore that on the plane?' Kate asked as she took in the technicoloured outfit Martha was wearing.

'What can I say….she's Martha Rogers,' Rick shrugged as the family made their way to the waiting car.

'How can a woman look that good after being awake for twenty four hours?' Kate complained.

'Are saying I look like crap?' Rick whined.

Before Kate could respond, Martha rushed forward to gather her granddaughter into a tight embrace. 'Oh my darling girl, I'm so sorry about your young friend,' the matriarch soothed. Alexis just nodded as she allowed her grandmother to help her into the car. 'I'll ride up front,' Martha stated as she turned to move to the front of the car.

'Oh no, Martha, please. I can take the front seat, you sit with Alexis,' Kate argued.

'Nonsense Katherine, besides, your daughter needs you,' Martha said with a wink before gracefully manoeuvring herself into the front seat. 'Thank you Tony,' the older woman said as Tony shut the car door.

Kate felt herself blush at her mother-in-law's comment, and startled when she felt her husband wrap his arms around her waist from where he was standing behind her. 'Mother's right, you know,' Rick murmured in her ear. 'Let's take our kid home,' Kate just nodded, too stunned for words, and it took a lot to stun Beckett into silence.

Rick waited for Kate to climb into the backseat of the car before moving to the opposite side of the vehicle, and sitting on the other side of his daughter. 'Mother, are you coming back to the loft?' Rick asked his mother once all the occupants of the car were settled. 'You can rest up there, before you have to go to the theatre tonight.'

Martha turned to look at her granddaughter, who was resting against her daughter-in-law, and then back to her son. 'Actually Richard, that sounds wonderful,' Martha smiled.

'Good, that's good mother,' Rick said with sincerity, and looked towards his wife when he felt her squeeze his hand. 'Tony, I need to arrange for the car service to pick up some friends from JFK later this evening, and bring them back to the loft.'

'Sure thing Mr. Castle,' the driver replied as he merged into the early afternoon traffic.

'Dad, how will Mr. and Mrs. Murphy know where to go?' Alexis asked with concern.

'Don't you worry Ms. Castle,' Tony reassured his young passenger. 'Firstly, I wish to say I'm sorry for your loss, and I'll make sure your friend's parents are met at their arrival gate and brought straight to the loft?'

'Thank you,' Alexis whispered.

'You OK there sweetheart?' Rick asked his daughter. Alexis just nodded where her head was resting on her mom's shoulder.

'Just tired…..I just…'

'Just what sweetie,' Kate asked.

'I just….I don't know, I just…'

'You just want everything in your head to be quiet.' Kate answered.

'Yeah,' Alexis whispered as she continued to stare out the car window with her head still resting on her mom's shoulder.

'When we get home, we'll go through some strategies Doctor Burke taught you. It'll help settle everything that's going on in your head right now,' Kate soothed, placing a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead. 'Then I'll go through some meditation and yoga exercises with you. They'll help you clear your mind so you can sleep.'

'OK.'

Kate looked over her daughter's head towards her husband, and her heart broke at the look of utter helplessness on his face. The older woman was almost thankful when she felt her cell vibrating in her pocket. Alexis shifted over to her dad, so her mom could retrieve her cell.

Smiling at the look of relief on her husband's face as he wrapped an arm around his daughter's shoulders, Kate suddenly worried that he may be jealous of the relationship she'd built with Alexis. She tucked that thought in the back of her mind and answered her cell. 'Hey Lanie…..yeah we're on our way home now….OK I'll let her know. Oh, Alexis also wants to know if you have her bag…great….if it's not too much trouble…..OK see you then…..you too, bye.' Pocketing her cell, Kate turned to find two identical sets of eyes looking expectantly at her.

'Was that about my appointment?'

'Yeah, you need to be at the morgue by nine tomorrow morning. Lanie will be accompanying you. It's standard procedure,' Kate assured her husband. 'Your dad can still go with you OK? Lanie has your bag in her office, she's going to drop it off later this afternoon…...your phone's been ringing non-stop.'

'Did you want to stop by the campus sweetheart?' her dad asked.

Alexis shook her head vehemently. 'Just wanna go home,' the young woman whispered as she rested against her dad. As much as Alexis wanted to attend any vigil set up on campus in her friend's honour, she couldn't cope with it today.

'OK, home it is. What did you want for lunch?' Rick asked.

'Not hungry.'

'Mac and cheese it is then,' her dad soothed.

Alexis smiled at her dad's suggested comfort food. She'd eat it even if she wasn't hungry. The young woman had learned a long time ago, her dad's comfort food could fix nearly anything. 'Thanks dad…..Andie loved your mac and cheese. Every time she was homesick, she'd drop hints, and I'd end up inviting her for dinner…..where you'd always seem to have made mac and cheese,' Alexis whispered.

Kate and Rick shared a secret smile between each other. 'We already knew that sweetheart,' Kate smiled sadly at her daughter.

'You did?'

'Why do you think I made it the nights you called to let us know Andie would be with you?' her dad answered.

'Thank you.' Alexis took the tissue her mom was holding out to her, and wiped the tears that were trickling down her cheeks. 'Best parents ever,' the young woman murmured as she went back to staring out the car window.

'Yes we are,' Kate agreed as she reached over and smoothed a lock of hair behind her daughter's ear. Alexis grabbed her mom's wrist before Kate had the chance to move away. Grasping her mom's hand tightly, Alexis rested their joined hands on her thigh.

'We'll wake you when we get home,' was the last thing Alexis heard as she finally closed her eyes, allowing the gentle movement of the car to lull her to sleep. 'Best parents ever.'