Hey guys! So volleyball season is finally over. :( But that's also a good thing because I can type for you guys more now! I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY THAT I DIDN'T UPDATE SOONER! My friend had an unexpected surgery on her knee, so I have been with her a lot, plus she is supposed to be coming to school so have to help her with homework and junk like that…and I had a volleyball tournament, I had to babysit for 2-3 hours last night, and I have been just so busy! Plus, while I was writing on Doc Manager, it screwed up and deleted over 1,000 words I had typed. I cried. I threw my iPod. I. Was. PO. And I went bowling with a bunch of my classmates and friends after school. And my grandparents spent the night last night and I had another sleepover on Friday. But anyways... I hope you can forgive me with this chapter I typed for you! I tried this chapter in Four/Tobias' POV, but I'm not sure if I did it alright…I am not used to writing in a boy's POV. Please tell me what I could've done better and what I did well. Cause I will write in his POV again so I want to know how to do better next time around! ;) So please review! :0 Without further ado…CHAPTER 9!
Disclaimer: Ok. So if I owned Divergent, I would not be in school. AND I wouldn't be writing Fan fiction…now would I?
Chapter 9
Four/Tobias' POV
As Tris and I sit down at the lunch table, I can't help noticing how closed off she is from everyone. She observes every move that anyone makes and looks like she is cautious around everyone…like one wrong move and something will blow up. It's like she doesn't even know what friends are.
She is mysterious, careful, and doesn't talk, which makes me wonder what ever happened to make her like that. Maybe she was abused…like me. Surely not though… I was abused for ages and still talk and I made friends. It must have been something having to deal with friends or family…I hope. No one should have to be abused by their OWN family. It just isn't right. That's why I don't call Marcus "dad". He doesn't deserve that.
I start to talk to Zeke, but I still wonder about Tris. What happened to her? I look over at her every once in a while. I am suddenly being pulled into a conversation with everyone about last week's paintball match. In that match, Uriah got shot in the butt by Zeke and I, so when Marlene brings it up, everyone starts laughing hysterically. Even Uriah does.
I look back over at Tris while I am laughing and see her eyes start to well up with tears. What did we do!? I see her get up and run off. She has a half-eaten apple in her hand and I see her throw it away as she goes. She didn't eat barely anything! What happened!?
Everybody must've seen this too, because we all look at each other and get up and run. I can tell everyone is worried about her even if we haven't even known her for a day. Uriah even leaves half of his Dauntless cake behind. Wow…I never thought I'd see the day! "Guys, wait!" I say. Everyone stops to look at me. "Have you ever thought that we may need a teacher? I mean, we need access to all the rooms we can get to." "Ya…I guess we do. Who should we recruit?" Uriah says. "I think we all know this." Shauna says. Of course we do.
We all run to Tori's room. She's pretty cool, even though she's new here. She's the best teacher for this job! Once we get there, we all burst in shouting different things. It's so jumbled and loud that I can't hear myself speak. "WAIT! SHUT UP!" Tori shouts. We all shut up instantly. "Now I need one person to explain to me what the heck is happening!?" Uriah steps up. "Well, Tris ran off at lunch. Where to? I don't know. We need access to a lot of rooms and we knew you would be the best teacher to help us look and everything…so…here we are now. We've got to find her!" Then he mumbles, "I left my Dauntless cake behind for this." Of course. I roll my eyes. I knew he would remember his cake sooner or later. Unfortunately, it was sooner.
Tori noticeably paled when Uriah explained that Tris ran off. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because she's new and could get hurt? No...Tori could handle that. I don't know why she paled white as a ghost, but I will find out most likely. Tori says, "Well...what are we waiting for? Let's go find Tris!" She grabs a set of keys as we run out the door. For a teacher, she is pretty fit. She runs just as fast as us, maybe even faster than some. We try door after door, but there is absolutely no sign of her at all. Then I remember the Pit. She obviously wouldn't have run off if she wanted to be found right away. She went some place where she knew she wouldn't be found for a long time. I tell this to the group. "Hey guys! We need to check somewhere like the Pit! Only the Dauntless know about it, but nobody goes there during school most of the time. It's hard to find. She probably went there or somewhere else where she knew she couldn't be found." I say. Everyone sits there for a minute, taking the idea in. Tori nods her head and says, "Yes. That's probably a great place to search." So we head to the Pit.
We get there and start searching every shop, every room, just everywhere you could possibly imagine. We even check behind the dang fake plants. But she's not there! You can tell that Tori is getting mad. "TRIS!" Christina yells. We all look at her like she's crazy. She just shrugs and says, "I know it isn't the best idea, but this is what it's come down to. Why not? What have we got to lose? Tris, Please!" I guess the idea isn't bad.
We all start to yell things like Christina. Although we all know she probably won't answer, we keep calling for her until we reach the chasm bridge. Once we get there, we all stop. Tori even yells, "TRIS! DON'T MAKE ME USE YOUR FULL NAME!" Wait…how does she know her full name? And why is that a threat? Just another couple of things I don't know.
Once we get to the bridge, we all stop and think for a second. Christina is panicking. "Where is she? I hope she is ok!" she is yelling. And although she is the only saying this out loud, I can tell that everyone else is thinking the same thing. Where is Tris? Where could she have possibly run off to? I hope she's not hurt…at least not TOO badly. I think Christina would hyperventilate if she was. I hear Tori reply, "OH. She's fine. She's just hiding." Then her facial expression changes from frustration to worry and confusion. "What happened exactly? Why did she run off in the first place?" she asks us, looking at each one of us for an explanation. Shauna steps up first.
"I don't know. She was eating an apple one minute, then tears filled her eyes and she got up, threw her apple in the trash, which was only half-eaten, and ran. I don't think I've ever seen someone move faster." she says. Yep. That's about right. Tris was fast...and so perfect.
I think I may be falling for Tris. I'm not sure when I started to, but I have feeling that it was when I first met her. She isn't like other girls...AT ALL. That's a good thing. She didn't throw herself at me (like others would do as soon as they met me), stare at me, talk to me every chance she got, dress like a slut, and she isn't the type of girl who would care about popularity or fashion. Just like my dream girl. Tris meets all of my standards and more. She is so perfect.
It's then that I realize that I don't know how long I've been thinking about her. So to recover I say, "Ya. She was sitting right next to me the whole time. The next thing I knew, she was off like a light."
Apparently I haven't been in my world for long at all because Tori just nods and goes deep into thought. I see several emotions flick across her face while she thinks; worry, confusion, frustration, guilt, regret, and sadness. Wow...I never thought that anybody could show so many emotions in one minute! It must be a record. Finally she snaps out of her daze and says, "You know what? We probably aren't doing much good together. How about if we split up? That way we can cover more area."
That idea isn't bad. In fact, I think if I were Tris, I wouldn't hide in an obvious spot where the whole group could find me. I would go somewhere no one would think to look. Besides, maybe if one of us finds her and she runs off, she'll run off into someone else. Hopefully I am the one to find her though.
I hear Shauna say, "I think that's a good idea. Since we've already covered this area, should we leave this place and search other areas?" Tori immediately replies with, "Ya, I think that would be a good idea Shauna." Then Christina says, "Ok. Then what are we waiting for? Let's go! No time to waste!" Everyone runs in a different direction except for me. I decide to just think on the bridge for a second before deciding where to go.
As I am listening, I hear muffled sobs coming from right below me. Wait...what? I listen closer and hear them more clearly. They then get really loud as they aren't muffled anymore. I know it has to be Tris...I mean who else would be crying in the middle of class while being under the Pit bridge? Exactly my point.
I know I have to get down there. The only way I can think of is the secret tunnel that I found that led to the bottom of the chasm. So I decide to look there.
I know I have to get down there. The only way I can think of is the tunnel. So I decide to look there. What have I got to lose if it's not Tris? Besides, I'm worried about her and no one else knows about under the Chasm except for me and possibly Tris; so no one would figure out where we were.
I start to head down to the tunnel. I exit the Pit and go to the empty classroom where I know the tunnel is. Once I get there, my suspicions are confirmed. The panel is open and I see the tunnel leading to the Chasm. I crawl in and start to run through. It's a pretty long tunnel, but it isn't as long as usual because I am sprinting. I can tell I am getting towards the end because I can hear the water crashing into the walls and the light is getting bigger by the second. I slow down knowing I will probably have to chase after Tris…I am pretty sure that she didn't want anybody to find her. So I walk to the end of the tunnel.
I am at the end finally, but I don't see Tris. All I can hear is sobs coming from my left. Well…I need to find her so I start walking out to the very end and call out, "Tris?" As I say this I step out of the tunnel. I know she's to the left, so I start walking to the left. Towards her hopefully. I hear shuffling and see a blonde-headed girl start running. But the thing that worries me is that I see a limp in her step. A large limp to be exact.
I run after her. I am catching up fast and I know that she knows it too. But for some reason, she still runs. She is going to hurt herself more running. I yell, "Tris! Wait! Please! I don't know what happened, but I know something isn't right! Please let me help you!" But she still runs.
I am finally right behind her and I can see a large blood stain on the back of her leg. I try not to panic. "Tris. Stop." I say. She is walking still but she can take only a few steps before she collapses right in front of me. I kneel down in front of her. "Listen, I'm not sure what happened back there, but I need to help. I don't know what happened to make you run off like that. I don't know how you found this place. I don't know a lot of things about you yet. But that's the thing. I don't need to know. The only thing I need to know is that I can help you. Please, just this once, let me help you."
It looks like she is having a conversation with her thoughts…she is distant. After about a minute though, she starts sobbing. I don't know why, but I'm sure that everything that has happened has just caught up to her. I can see she tries to stuff her sleeve back into her mouth but she can't…her arm just drops down right away, like she is too weak to do it. I look down at her gash and slightly gasp once I see the dripping blood coming from it. I need to tend the wound right now.
"Tris…let me look at the wound. Please." I say pleadingly. I am very worried about her. She doesn't think about it for a minute…she just nods her head, which makes me even more worried because I know that she wouldn't usually give up without a fight. I ask her, "Tris, can you walk?" She nods her head again, but I know she can't. I don't even know why I asked in the first place. Well actually yes I do. She would've hated me if I just picked her up without asking if she could walk. She would automatically think that I thought she was weak and hate me. Ya...thank you instincts. For being righter than my mind.
She starts to get up and I just start getting more worried by the second. She slowly sits up, then after about 3 minutes, she is up on her feet. As she does this, her skin tone turns to a deathly pale. She is shaking. I shout, "You ok Tris! Are you sure you can walk? I can carry you if I need to. You are scaring me! You are deathly pale!" I am very worried now. But all she does is nod her head again. She is making me frustrated! We need to move faster than this!
"Ok...Tris. We need to move so I can look at it. I'm afraid you're gonna pass out right here, right now. Please start walking towards the rock where you first were." I say. She takes a very slow step, and I didn't think it was possible, but somehow her skin tone turns to a perfect white color. She lets out a little scream. She almost collapses, but I catch her just in time. This crosses the line. "Tris! Please let me carry you!"
She looks like she is having an internal debate. I am holding her waist while she is debating. Finally, she looks me in the eyes and slowly nods her head. I feel so relieved, like a weight has been suddenly lifted off my shoulders. I pick her up as carefully as I can, trying to avoid her leg. I am apparently unsuccessful though, because after a second, she lets out a small groan and a couple tears run down her face. "Sorry!" I exclaim. I do feel really bad, but I have to keep going.
I decide to carry her bridal style because it is the fastest and easiest way. I see that I little bit of her color returned to her face. Good. But I still see her grimacing and I can feel my heart speed up a little as I race to the rock. My heart also speeds up because of her being against my chest. it's cliché I know. But I can't help it. I look back down and I see the color has left her face again for some odd reason.
When we reach the rock, I gently set her down. As I do this, I see that she hisses in pain…the gash must around her calf. I once again feel like saying sorry, but remember that it won't do any good, so I just leave the situation be. I know I won't be able to get good access to her gash because her pant leg is covering it up. So I grab the pocket knife that I always keep in my jeans pocket, just in case, and bring it down to cut the pant leg off.
When I start to bring it down, I see Tris' eyes widen in fear and hear small whimpers coming from her that were probably meant to be screams if she wasn't too weak. She is squirming away from me, and while she does it I see her arm raise maybe a couple inches off the ground while the fingers were balled up in a fist but immediately drop down. I think it was supposed to be a punch…but she obviously couldn't find the strength. I need to calm her down, otherwise she will most likely pass out from blood loss soon. I start calling for her. "Tris! Tris! Come back to me! Come on!" I see her eyes start to focus on me and I know that this is the time to calm her down and say something meaningful. "Tris! Don't freak out! I'm just going to use it to cut your pant leg off! I say. She still is whimpering and moving though, so I grab her shoulders gently, but with enough force to keep her as still as possible while I explain. "Tris! Don't freak out! I'm just going to use it to cut your pant leg off!" I say.
I don't know what triggered her little episode, but it isn't my business. Im not sure if i want to know. well that was a stupid statement. of course I wanna know why it triggered, but am afraid of what the answer may be. Slowly, her eyes start to come into focus more and more, and her movement slows down. She is still tense though. Eventually, I feel her suddenly relax under my arms. I breathe a sigh of relief and say, "Ok. Can I cut the pant leg off now?" I ask, making sure that she won't react like that again. She nods her head yes.
I take out the knife once again and start to cut her pant leg off. I can't help but notice that she squeezes her eyes shut and turns her head away though. I don't know what happened to her, but it had to be something really, REALLY bad if she reacts like this to knives…even when she knew I wasn't going to hurt her. And when it is just a simple pocket knife.
After I cut it off, I look at Tris and see that her eyes are still shut. I say, "Tris you can look now. It's over." Her eyes open and I stare right into them. They would look blue from a distance, but up close you can see the grayish tint mixed perfectly inside the blue orbs.
I snap out of it and know that I will have to stop the bleeding as much as possible until I can get proper cleaning supplies, so I think that I will just apply some pressure on it. The gash is on the back of her calf…I will have to turn her over to look at it. She's losing too much blood too fast, so that's exactly what I tell her. "I'm going to look at it now. It might hurt, but I need you to do what I say. You're losing too much blood too quickly. Ok Tris?" She looks a little bit worried but nods her head yes, as if remembering that she needs to do what I say right now.
I gently flip her over and look for the gash. Once I find it, I can't help but gasp slightly at the sight. It is bleeding profusely and is pretty deep…I don't think it is deep enough for stiches, but you never know. I then say, "Um…Tris? What I need to do next is gonna hurt really bad ok? I won't lie to you. You might want to put something in your mouth if you don't want anyone else finding you." I hear her take a deep breath and see her arm move to stuff her shirt sleeve into her mouth.
I take this as my go ahead. So I take the pant leg and dip it into the Chasm to rinse off some of the blood, then I wrap it around her leg and start to tighten it. I can hear Tris scream into her sleeve, which both worries and relieves me. It worries me because…well I bet you can guess why. But it also relieves me because I know earlier she was trying to scream, but could only emit a small whimper. So if she can scream now, then she must be getting some strength back.
I'm done now so I say, "I'm done now Tris. You ok?" She stiffly nods her head yes. I can see that her jaw is clenched as well. She must be grinding her teeth.
I have tightened it pretty well, but know that I will need something to clean the wound with. I don't have it with me though, so I would either have to take Tris with me to get a First Aid Kit, or leave her here while I run and get it. I know the first option would be impossible, so I know that the latter is the only option I have left. I don't want to leave her, but I know that I will have to for the greater good. It worries me though, because she is still pretty pale.
I finally say, "I would clean it up with Alcohol or Hydrogen Peroxide but I don't have that stuff with me right now. So I will get it in just a couple of minutes. Will you be ok alone for a couple of minutes?" She nods. I nod too, and say, "Ok. I'll be back in a couple of minutes." She doesn't do anything after that, so I just run off, trying to find the First Aid Kit I had down here at one point of time. I run to the part of the Chasm where the rocks are stacked on one another and find the First Aid Kit between 2 rocks. I grab it and walk just for a little bit back in the direction where I know Tris is.
I'm not worried that she'll run away…she couldn't right now in her state. She may move, but she won't get very far. I am just worried about her in general. I'm worried what happened to her in the past and I worry about whether her past isn't her past and it's her present. That whatever she may be going through is happening to her at home. I worry that she will not be okay and eventually run away or disappear, never to be seen again. I worry that she will never be able to move on from her past or present and be in this state of fear and cautiousness all her life. I worry that she-
I suddenly am pulled out of my thoughts by seeing Tris under the bridge, head in her knees. She must've moved while I was gone. Once I get closer, I can hear her crying. It sounds soft. But I keep moving until I am right in front of her. Once I am there, I know that her crying isn't soft. She is sobbing loudly. For some reason, I feel like I knew that this would happen at some point. Why? I don't know. But it turns out my instincts were right. Again. Huh. What do ya know?
I am now standing right in front of her. From here I can see that her entire knee is soaked with her tears. "Oh Tris," I mumble softly.
I walk back to the rock and set the First Aid Kit down and walk back over to Tris. I kneel down in front of her and put one of my hands on her shoulder. Then I say, "Tris, please look at me." But she doesn't. I know she heard me though. She's just ignoring me. I sigh. I try again. "Tris...look at me." I say. I can hear the pleading tone in my voice.
I usually don't like being seen like this, but I don't care when I am with Tris for one reason or another. She is still refusing to acknowledge me. If pleading won't make her look at me then I will have to be stern. "Tris." I say. Just saying her name won't make her listen though, so on second thought I bring my other hand up, tuck my fingers gently beneath her chin and raise it up, forcing her blue-gray eyes to look into mine.
She is still sobbing her eyes out and it's then that I realize tht I have no clue what to say next. The only thing I can summon is a simple, "Tris..." I trail off at the end of her name just in case I think of something to say. But I don't. If I can't think of anything to SAY to her, then I need to at least DO something.
I think I should hug her. Wait-WHAT? What am I thinking!? I can't hug her! But you like her. Just hug her. It will be in the spur of the moment. No! I can't!...Can I? I focus on her eyes again and know that behind those eyes is the story of her past. I look into them intently and see pain, fear, and numbness. I can tell she doesn't usually have a shoulder to cry on. I know the feeling. It is a horrible feeling. Exactly. Wouldn't you feel horrible if you didn't hug her? Just hug her gosh DANGIT! C'mon! I guess I would feel pretty bad if I didn't do anything. But what if she doesn't want a hug?
I quickly come to a decision. I will give her the choice to come or not. If she does, then I can hug her. If not, no harm done right? So I extend my arms slightly and say, "Come here. I know you probably don't usually have a shoulder to cry on. It's better to let it out than hold it in." I can tell she's having an internal debate. She looks at me several times. After about a minute, something in her eyes softens slightly and she starts to move. I'm not sure if she's moving towards me or not, but after a few more seconds, it's obvious that she is making her way to me.
I can tell that her calf is hurting her real bad, so I help her carefully make it to me. Once she is right in front of me, I pick her up and set her against my chest. I feel her press her face into my shoulder and sob into it. She wraps her frail arms around my stomach area. As she does this, I tighten my arms around her waist, afraid to let go. I quickly look down to her calf, and am relieved that most of the bleeding has stopped. So we have time. Plenty of time. I let out a deep breath.
Neither of us says a word, but that's alright. No words are needed. Just the feeling of each other's embraces. At this thought I place my chin softly on top of her head. Each move we make means we get more wrapped up in the other's arms. I wish that I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever. When I am in her embrace, I don't worry about anything else. I don't worry about what will happen when this moment ends and I don't worry about anything else in the world.
I'm not sure how long we will sit here; under the bridge, in the peacefulness of the rushing water in the Chasm, the sound of Tris' muffled sobs, wrapped up in each other's tight embraces. But I do know that it will be a long time before either of us decide to move. A long, long time.
Yes, Yes. I know. IT'S BEEN FOREVER! I am so sorry guys! Like I said up top... I have been a very busy fangirl! There are several other reasons, but I doubt you wanna read all of them! So I will talk about this chapter instead!;) I know the last part is very cliché with Tris and Four thinking almost the exact same things... But that's why it's fanfiction! This chapter took a lot of effort because I'm not used to writing in Four's POV. And I had to keep flipping back and forth between pages to make sure that this chapter matched chapter 8 fine. In fact, that's how I lost over 1,000 words...it couldn't take the take the switching I guess and eventually crashed before I could save it. I was PO. But anyways...I will try to have the next chapter up soon! But does anyone have any ideas on what should happen? I don't want to be stuck with Writer's block again. Yes. AGAIN. But thanks again to Lost1nTheLight! She helped me get out of it!:) But can we get to 50 reviews maybe? IT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY!:):) Well...I am supposed to sleeping. Well actually, I was supposed to be sleeping over an hour and a half ago, but I needed to update first! So until next time...SEE YA!
P.S. Oh! And make sure to tell me what I did right and wrong! I need a little constructive criticism guys!:0 And can you find the quote in here? (Hint hint...it's towards the very bottom!) Goodnight! (Again)