Chapter 16:

When I wake, Tobias is still sound asleep. I glance over at the alarm clock. It's 2:00am in the morning. I close my eyes and try to fall back asleep, but I can't. I quietly get up and put on some clothes. I have the urge for an adventure. I put on black jeans, which is starting to become a bit snug at the waistline, I don't have a bumb yet though. I grab my boots and walk toward the living room. I tie the laces just like I did at dauntless, for a moment I'm transported back to the small bed in the initiate's dorm. Then I transport my mind back to the now. Before I leave I write Tobias a note.

T-

Needed some air.

Couldn't sleep.

Love you.

-Tris

He will want to know where I'm going, but I'm not quite sure either. I quietly slip through our apartment door, before I know it I'm walking down the sidewalk. I need an adventure. I jog down the sidewalk then jump into one of the trucks. The keys are in it. This is the one Amar drives. I turn on the ignition then start toward the gate. I'm going to the city.

I reach the gate, and a guard approaches the truck.

"Name?"

"Tris Eaton."

"Will you be returning?"

"Yes."

"You are free to go. Be careful."

I smile. He pushes a button and the gate starts to open. I head through the gate. Where am I going? My house. My Abnegation house. By the time the sun starts to rise, I'm at my house. I turn off the ignition and put the keys in my pocket. I look at the front steps and see my mother. I miss her. I miss her more than I've missed anything. I open the door. Her smell fills the house. Their smell, I suppose. I don't bother to turn on the lights. I walk to my parents' bedroom then collapse on the bed. A tear runs down my cheek. Her scent still lingers on her pillow. My Father's pillow lingers with his scent too. Their scent triggers something. Tears fall from my eyes. They won't be at my wedding, or see their first grandchild. I push those thoughts out of my head. I gather myself and make my way upstairs. My bed is made and all of my things our in their places. Not that I had much. But a small piece of paper lies on my bed. A picture. It's of my Mom and Dad, hand and hand. They are looking in each other's eyes. Both of their faces are glowing, happy beyond compare. I smile. I turn the paper over and see my mother's handwriting. I close my eyes for a moment, and blink back the tears. Then my eyes fall back to the words.

My Dearest Beatrice,

I knew you would pick dauntless.

You have the dauntless fire. Just like I did.

You're beautiful. Tobias is perfect for you.

I don't know when I'll die. But I have a feeling

it will be soon, for what is the question.

I hope it's for something worth dyeing for.

If I die for you, then that is the best reason a

mother could ask for. Dying for my child's life.

You deserve life, Beatrice. I know you'll grow…

maybe to be a wife, or a mom. But be brave, my darling.

For sometimes the biggest amount of courage is

the type that is hidden. Like dropping your baby

off for the first day of school. Or letting someone

receive something they don't deserve. Good or

bad. Take care of Tobias and Caleb. They love you.

Even Caleb, deep down. You are worth dying for.

I love you no matter what.

-Mom

Tears poor down my face. She wrote this…for me. I grip it close to my heart as if it's her. I'm hugging her again. I take a book off my desk and stick the picture write in the middle so it doesn't get wrinkled on the journey home. I make my way down the steps and inhale one deep breath. I smell them again. I smell us. Our smell. Then I walk to the truck.

I jump in the truck and carefully place the book in the passenger seat. I turn on the ignition and head toward the dauntless head courters. I have the urge to go there. It's fully light out now. Part of me expects to see people roaming the streets. But no one does. It's just this truck, that picture, and me.

As I arrive at the headcounters, I think of Tobias. I've been away for a while. He'll start to worry. But I need to go inside. I tuck the book under the seat, as if someone would try to steal it. Then I wonder inside dauntless. It's exactly as we left it, but bust seems to sweep throughout. It's sad. It almost brings tears to my eyes. I head up to Tobias' apartment. The bed is unmade. Everything is just as he left it. I glance in the mirror. My hair is now long again. I think I'll keep it that way.

I walk down to the net. Where I first met Tobias. It looks the same. But it brings a smile on my face. Thank God for this net. It saved thousands of people. I didn't fall to the ground and I met Tobias, who has saved my life more times than I can count.

"Thank you, net." I giggle to myself. I'm talking to a net? I walk to the dauntless kitchen, and then go through the cupboards. I'm starving. I grab some canned fruit and walk over to where I sat as an initiate. The same place I would always sit. A part of me misses this, and the other part doesn't. I miss Uriah. His smile could light up someone's day. I cringe at the though of Will. Then I think of Eric, of all people.

I get up and head back to the truck. Suddenly, I have morning sickness sweep over me and I barf in the grass. Then gather myself and walk to the truck. I get in, and head on back to the bureau.

"Stop making me sick." I whisper to my baby. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't reply. As I arrive back to the gate the guard approaches me.

"Thank God your back! Your boyfriend is in a tizzy! He's freaking out. Your friends are out in search patrols."

I sigh. Of course he's in a tizzy.

"Okay. Thanks."

I drive the truck into the garage where all the other trucks are stored. I turn off the ignition and grab the book that holds the picture of my parents. I start walking toward the garage door, and then a hand flies over my mouth. I immediately know what's happening. It seems to happen so often. I'm being kidnapped…again. I thrash and scream but now strong arms retrain my every move. Then a needle enters my neck. Shit. I know what comes next. Black.

I wake to a white room. My head is pounding. The room is white and I'm lying on a metal table. The walls are bare. I look down and see that I'm in a white dress, like a hospital gown. I remember the kidnapping and my heart starts to race. I get up and run to the door. It's locked. I look up and see a camera in the corner of the room, anger terrors over me.

"WHY THE HELL TO YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!?"

Tears start to role down my eyes. Why am I always the one to get kidnapped? Why can't I live a normal, safe life?! I'm pregnant for crying out loud! The door handle starts to open. I'm ready to pounce on whatever comes through that door.

In comes a young boy, maybe sixteen years old, he's strong, build like a block. I pounce. The he grabs me and I thrash.

"Please. We both know I can take you." I keep trashing.

"Hoped I wouldn't have to use this. What the hell? Yes, I did." He laughs then injects me with a blue colored liquid. I expect to pass out, but no. My limps go numb and I fall to the floor. I can't move anything but my face.

"What's happening to me?" I ask as loud as my body will allow me. I try with all my might just to move my fingers.

"It's paralyzing serum. It will last until we give you the antidote." He picks me up and places me on the metal table. He looks familiar, but I don't know where from.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Damon."

Damon. The red headed hostess' boyfriend. The same guy tried to kidnap me before.

"What do you want from me?"

"Pain."

I shiver. This man wants to torture me? What have I don't to him?

"Why would you do that to me?"

"Because I want you to feel the way he did."

"Who? Feel the way who did?"

"My brother. You knew him. His name was…Eric."