Hey I'm back! Thanks so much for all of your reviews! They made me so happy! I've been typing as much as I could! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: Isn't obvious that I am Veronica Roth?
JK! I am not Veronica Roth, therefore, I do not own anything of hers. Not even her house.
Warning: Mention of rape. If you don't want to read it, then skip past my 2 AN's.
Four's POV
I climb into bed and just think for a little bit. One thing is Tori's conversation with me. "I just want to tell you that I think you are going to be good for her. She's had a rough couple years and I think she deserves someone like you." Does Tori suspect that I like Tris? I mean, I didn't think it was THAT obvious. Then again, Tori seems like the type of person that could read your mind. I saw the way her and Tris communicated. She understood right away, asking no questions. That's pretty good. Even if she has been living with Tris for the past couple of years.
I decide to think about something else, trying to piece together what little information I have been given. Trying to get a general idea of what could've possibly happened to Tris. "She's had a rough couple of years and I think she deserves someone like you."
I think about this for a little bit. It had to have happened to her in the past 2-3 years. Whenever this happened, it had to be somewhat recent. I mean, if it was 4 years ago then I don't think Tris would be acting like this. But if it happened just 1 year ago, then Tris wouldn't probably respond at all, depending on how bad her situation was. And Tori wouldn't have said, "Couple of years." She would've said year…right? Ugh. I don't know. This whole thing is giving me a headache.
I look over at my alarm clock by my bed and see that it says it is 12:34 a.m. Have I really been thinking about this for that long? Wow. I probably need to get some sleep. I roll over and close my eyes, trying to get some sleep before the morning.
After about an hour, I decide that the idea of sleep is pointless and get up. I sit up in the bed and just sit there, trying to enjoy some peace and quiet, at least, before my alarm would start to yell at me to get up.
I do enjoy the peace for a little while, until I hear a piercing scream coming from…Tris' house? I run over to my window to see if I can see anything. I get a perfect view of what is happening actually. My window looks into Tris' room. I see Tris thrashing around in her bed. I am about to go over there when I see Tori walk in. She shakes Tris and wakes her up. Tris sits up really fast. Tori hugs her and holds her tight. After a minute or two, Tris seems to get over her initial shock and hugs Tori back. It must've been a nightmare.
When I look more closely, I see that Tris' hair is black, gray, and blue again. Is that her natural hair? Or did she dye it again? Obviously the blue is a dye, but I can't be sure about the black or gray. Usually people don't have gray hair unless they're old, but Tris is only 16. It could be that she has gray hair, but I don't think that it is her natural hair, so I rule that color out. It has to black or blonde. Either of which could be natural colors. She can pull off black and blonde hair, so I have no idea which color it actually is. Maybe someday I will know.
I am snapped out of my thinking process when they both release from their embrace. I can see Tori's mouth moving, but I can't hear what it is. I see Tris nod and lay back down. Tori walks out a little bit later. I am about to go lay back down too, until I see Tris get up and walk out of her room. I look over at my clock. It reads, 1:23 a.m. What could she be doing at this hour? I don't know.
I watch from my window for 15 minutes, but she never returns. I decide to go back to bed. Nothing happened to her…I am pretty sure. Tori is there…she can take care of Tris. And Tris can take care of herself. So I leave the situation alone.
I go back to my bed and lay down. 10 minutes later, I remember that I couldn't fall asleep. I decide to go to the dugout. You see, the dugout is somewhere I found that was beneath my house. It basically was a big, empty room when I found it. I bought some beanbag chairs, some rugs, and a TV and spruced the place up a little bit. I always have noticed that there was a door there, but I have never checked it out. I don't know if I want to know where it leads. It probably is none of my business.
I get up and get dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants. I quickly walk down the stairs from my room and try to remember where the panel was that led to it. I haven't been down there for at least for 6 months. I almost forgot about the place. It probably is covered in dust and dirt.
Suddenly I remember that the panel was in the hallway. I run my fingers along the walls of the hall and stop when I feel a slight bump in it. I slide it left and after a little while it opens. There are stairs leading to the room, but thankfully, there aren't many. I walk down the stairs and suddenly stop.
I hear a lot of thumps and yells from down there. Did someone else find this place? Surely not…I mean there has been that other door there ever since I found the place. I thought it probably led to the house next door, which was for sale at the time. But now it isn't now because Tris and Tori moved in…oh…it makes sense now. It must be Tris…I don't think Tori would have any reason to come down here. I think?
I continue walking down the stairs as fast as I can. As I get closer, the thumps get louder and I can hear a scream every once in a while. Is she hurt? Panic rushes through me, but I keep walking down the stairs at the same pace, making sure I won't trip since I didn't bring any kind of light.
I get closer and closer and I can finally hear all of the sounds. I can her someone-probably Tris-running and a few moments after, a loud thump from the wall. She is either punching it or throwing stuff at it. It's hard to tell which one she's doing. Every few minutes, I hear a frustrated scream.
I decide to open the door, but am caught by surprise when something hits the door. I yelp, because of my surprise. The sounds suddenly stop and I hear shuffling. I open up the door.
Tris POV
When I threw a bean bag at the door that I have not yet explored, I heard a yell come from inside of it. I was terrified. I ran behind a pile of bean bags and rugs I had made for my pile of "ammo", as I liked to call it.
The door opens and hold my breath. "Hello?" someone says. But this isn't just someone…it was Four! I would know his voice anywhere. I keep holding my breath. "Tris? I know you're in here. Where are you?" By this time, it's been about a minute and my lungs are burning. My eyes start to water, but I STILL hold my breath. I know I won't last for much longer though.
I hear footsteps coming towards me. I squeeze my eyes shut. "Tris?" Four asks again. I hear him sigh about a minute later. I can hear him plop down on one of the bean bags that I am hiding behind. Now, I have tears streaming down my face, my vision is spotty, and my lungs are on fire. I angrily swipe at my tears and when I know Four isn't going to get up for a while, I stuff my face into a bean bag next to me and suck in a HUGE breath. I hope it was quiet. I keep my face in there for a little while, until my tears have stopped, my vision is only a little bit spotty, and my lungs are only slightly burning now. I start to take breaths through my nose as I pull my face out.
Either Four didn't hear me, or he is just letting me have some time, but he has only shifted a bit. I take this time to gather a rug in my hands and ball it up inside of my fist. I pretend that this is Eric.
My nightmare tonight was not the usual. It wasn't about that September day. It was about Eric, and the second worse night of my life.
You are probably wondering about Eric. Who is Eric? Why is he so bad? What happened? Well, I was 14 when IT happened. I'll tell you the full story, but right now, I will just give you the outlines.
So, basically, Eric betrayed me. We were a couple; boyfriend, girlfriend, and my best friend. He acted like a perfect gentleman and I was stupid enough to think that we would be together forever. Looking back on it now is just a nightmare and it only adds more cuts to my daily amount. I was young and stupid and I thought that I-no-we were in love. And while I had my head stuck up in the clouds, he turned around and stabbed me in the back. Not literally…but pretty close.
So…now that you know what this is kind of about, here is the full story.
I was 12. 7th grade and wanted nothing more than the other girls in my class did; to be noticed by someone. To hopefully be asked out by one of the boys. So when Eric came along, of course I said yes.
You see…about a month before he asked me, I had noticed that he had been staring at me a little longer than what was appropriate. When I noticed, I would simply blush and turn away. He was a year older than me! Why would he like me?
After a little while, my friends had started to notice too. They would bug me at lunch, at class, on the phone, and basically EVERYWHERE I went. It started to get annoying.
After a couple of weeks, Eric came up to me at lunch and asked to speak with me privately. My heart was pounding at that point and I nodded and got up. I was blushing also because the people I was sitting with were giggling and winking at me and Eric.
He had pulled me into a hallway and asked me, "Listen Beatrice. I really like you. I have for a little while. So I guess my question is…will you go out with me?" It wasn't anything unique or special, but by that time, I was so overwhelmed that my wish had come true, that I didn't think things over and I just nodded my head yes.
He smiled and we walked back into the cafeteria together. When my friends asked, I said that we were together.
A couple of years passed and I was just turning 14. I got invited, along with Eric, to a party. It was for me. At that time, Eric and I were popular so a lot of people were going to come. Caleb was also pretty popular, even though he was a nerd, so when people found out that his sister was having a party, they decided to come too.
That night, my house was packed to the very brim. I hadn't expected so many people to come. So I really couldn't see my way through anything. Later, Eric came up behind me. I could tell it was him cause he did his signature whisper into my ear. He had asked me, "Hey Bea. Wanna get out of here?" Not knowing what he meant, I nodded, ecstatic that I could maybe breathe without being breathed on.
He grabbed my hand and led me to my room. I was a little confused as why he had brought me there. He, obviously knowing what I was thinking, smirked and asked me, "Do you love me?" I was startled and stared at him. I was pretty sure that I was in love at that point, but I guess I was just too shocked to respond. He asked me it again. "Bea, do you love me?" I looked into his eyes and said that I did, indeed, love him.
The look on his face after that was so vicious and so sardonic after that, that I had taken a step back out of fear. I tried to take back what I said, realizing that I shouldn't be scared of the man that I love. "Eric…listen. Maybe I was wrong. We are too young to be in love. Don't you think?" I had said.
His facial expression tightened and his face got red. My heart had started to beat a little faster than normal. He had suddenly lunged at me. I tried to get out of the way, but I wasn't quick enough. He had slapped me, punched me, kicked me, and threw me until I was laying on the ground, trying to process what just happened.
He started walking towards me with that same look and I just cowered back against the wall even more, afraid of what was next. Finally, he was up next to me. He whispered into my ear. "You can't take back what you said. You said you loved me. Now prove it." ( AN: This is where it starts. I think you kind of know what happens.)
He threw me onto my bed and realizing what he was about to do, started to fight back. It was working, because he wasn't getting where he wanted to. Until he pulled out the knife. My eyes were as big as saucers and I screamed as he slid the knife down my stomach, successfully making a gash and cutting my shirt off.
Not being able to fight back anymore, he got what he wanted. I did try to fight back sometimes, but he just cut me even more. I was just hoping someone would find me.
I got most of my scars from that night. Later, when the first thrust was performed, I had screamed so loud, but still no one came to help me. I passed out from the pain right after. I don't know how long it went on.
When I had woken the next morning, I sobbed and sobbed. I locked my door, closed my drapes, and didn't go to school for the next week. All I could think about was the pain; both mentally and physically.
(AN: That was the end. For those of you who didn't read it, Eric did it, hitting and cutting her in the process.)
I shake my head as I stop thinking about it. It just brings more frustrated tears to my eyes. I ball up the rug even more, and start to see red again. I forget that Four is here and tug up on the rug.
I get up and throw it at the wall with all my strength. I see Four turn around, but I don't worry about it. I don't want to end up hurting him. I turn back to the pile. I grab another bean bag and spin, then let go and let it hit the wall again. "TRIS! STOP! What are you doing?!" I hear Four yell at me. I don't answer though, just focused on throwing things and making the most damage I can.
I throw a few more bean bags, with Four's yells of course, but still feel angry. Nothing is breaking! I ball my fist up and hit the wall. It makes a loud thud and it hurts really bad. But I have had worse. I keep punching the wall until I feel hands dragging me away from the wall. I turn around, knowing that it has to be Four, and try to hit him. He easily blocks it. I keep trying to lash out at him, still seeing red.
After a while of this, he knows I am not stopping. He sighs and tells me to calm down. I don't listen though. I keep trying to get away so I can keep punching the wall.
He takes me by surprise and pushes me down onto a beanbag. He puts my arms above my head and pins them down, along with my legs. I can only move my head. I still keep trying, even though I know I have a 0% chance of getting away. "Tris. Calm down. Calm, down." he keeps saying.
Eventually, I realize what I am actually trying to do. I am trying to HURT Four! The one who just saved me from breaking my hand, and helping me out all day at school. What does he think of me now? I am such a complete idiot! I stop moving right away and I think it takes Four by surprise.
I relax my shoulders and huff. My vision gets normal again. I look down. Knowing that I've stopped, Four unpins me, allowing me to get up. I don't though. I just sit there, thinking about what I have just done. I couldn't control myself.
I don't though. I just sit there, thinking about what I have just done. I couldn't control myself. I hate myself right now. I see Four sigh and crouch down next to me on the floor. "Tris. It's fine. You didn't even touch me. It's not your fault. You weren't thinking straight. Ok?" he says. I look at him incredulously. I just try to hurt him! The man who has helped me all day, and he still isn't mad at me? How!? I would be mad if it was switched around. That just goes to show how great of a friend he is.
I look up at him, and to show him that I am sorry, thankful, and ok all at once without saying anything, I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze him. It only takes a second before he starts to hug back. A couple of minutes later, I can feel all the tension leave my shoulders, as I relax.
Unfortunately, it is only a couple more minutes before we release each other. Wait-what am I thinking?! I am GLAD that I am not hugging Four anymore! Right? Oh, who am I kidding? I love how I feel safe and secure in his arms. For once, I can actually relax and let go of all my worries when I am in his arms.
"Tris?" I hear Four ask. I snap my head up and give him my attention so I don't daze off again. "Do you think we should put everything back and go back to bed before school tomorrow? I mean, I get if you don't want to…it's just that we will both be super tired if we don't at least try and get a few more hours of sleep," he says.
He's probably right. I am getting super tired and can barely keep my eyes open. I look around the room.
What I see surprises me. Bean bags and rugs are all over the floor. The place where I punched the wall has a big dent in it. Some bean bags have small holes that have beads spilling out of them.
I must've looked as surprised as I felt too, because I hear Four chuckling. "Ya…I don't know what set it off, but you kind of scared me when you went into a rampage there. I was not expecting that," he says, while looking around the room as well.
Without a word, I get up and start putting things back where they belong. After Four realizes what I am doing, he gets up and starts helping as well. Pretty soon, everything looks pretty normal except for the abnormal dent in the wall from my fist. I look at Four and he is looking at it too. He turns to me while smiling. "What did that wall ever do to you?" he asks me, while smiling. I smile too, and shrug.
"Well…I hate to say it Tris, but I think a few more hours of sleep for both of us sounds pretty good." I just nod. Ya…I don't know how EXACTLY I am going to make it up my stairs without falling asleep. Four starts walking towards me. I get a little afraid, knowing that the last time someone started walking towards me like this, it did not end well. *cough* Eric. *cough* But I quickly dismiss those thoughts, knowing Four would never do that to me.
When Four is next to me, he wraps his arms around my waist. Realizing that he is not hurting me, just merely hugging me, I hug back again. For the 3rd time today. I think?
It only lasts a few seconds though before I start to yawn. Four releases me. "Goodnight Tris. Sleep well," he says. I smile back at him and wave. Then I walk to the opposite side of the room where the door is. I turn back one last time, but Four is already gone. I start to climb up the stairs.
I finally get to the top and step out. I then slide the panel back in place and go to my room. My clock reads 3:30 am. Wow…was I really down there for that long?
I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror to make sure my dye is still in. It is, but when I brush it, some of it starts to come off. So I wash it out and put the new stuff in.
After that, I climb back under the covers of my bed. I look out my window and see that Four is in his bed too. He isn't asleep yet though. He is sitting up…for some reason. I close the drapes and lay down.
I close my eyes, but then suddenly they snap open. I am scared of nightmares. They already brought me a nice flashback of Eric. What else do they plan to bring? The regular nightmares, or something else? Eric again?
With these thoughts, I get up and start pacing. I can't fall back asleep. I look at the clock again, but it only says 4:03 am. I have two and a half more hours before I have to get up for school. I sigh and go sit on my bed. Maybe this is why Four was sitting up also? Could he not fall asleep?
I open up my drapes and look at him. He is still sitting up, but he's not facing me. I turn away and leave the drapes open, knowing I would open them soon anyways.
I start to think about the date. What is it anyways? I know it's the first day of school, so it has to be sometime in late August or early September. I have no way to tell though…except for my alarm. I remember Tori telling me that there is a button I can push that will tell me the date. I didn't really pay attention then though, but now I wish I did.
I turn to the alarm and start working on it. I push all the buttons I can find, but it never tells me the date. I am getting frustrated. I need to know what the date is! I keep trying, but later I start pounding on it. When I am frustrated, I start hitting or throwing things…in case you couldn't tell.
Then I feel someone's eyes burning into the back of my head. I don't know how I can tell…I guess I just have always been able to know if someone was watching me. Don't ask why. My mom always could too. Did I get it from her? Probably.
I slowly turn in the direction of the eyes. When I am turned, I am staring out the window into a pair of dark blue ones. It was Four. He is smiling. He saw my alarm pound, I'm guessing.
At first I get a little angry that he was watching me, then I think about it, and I do have to admit. I probably looked funny while I was pushing a million buttons, then pounding on it. I smile too. Then he mouths some words to me. Lucky for him, I've always been able to read lips. "What were you doing?" After I can see him laugh. Woah! He laughed! He actually laughed! And I was the one to make him laugh! I mean…he has chuckled before, but never full out LAUGHED!
"He's probably laughed before Tris. It's nothing to get too excited about," I think to myself. My smile still gets wider though. I see him give me an expectant look. I mouth back, "Nothing…" He shakes his head, obviously not believing me. He then says, "What were you trying to figure out? Obviously not the time." I can feel my cheeks start to heat up. I can't believe he saw that whole thing!
"The date…?" I mouth. "You don't know what the date is?" he asks me. I shake my head. He turns around and walks over to somewhere in his room. Where was he going? Did he just leave me because he thought I was stupid enough not to know the date? No…surely not. He wouldn't do that…would he?
My question is answered when he walks back and holds up a sheet of paper. It says, "August 28". August 28? It's only a month until it will officially be 2 years since I've been without my real family. Only 31 days. 744 hours.
I hang my head down and take a deep breath, while I will myself not to cry in front of Four…again. I can feel tears burning in the back of my eyes. I am completely and utterly dreading September 28th. Even today, with giving myself a gash on the leg, having a horrible nightmare, and crying in front of Four and everyone else on the table, is wonderful compared to what that day will be like. I just know that it won't be pretty.
Once I feel the tears leave, I look back up at Four. He looks concerned, worried, and confused all at the same time. I look away from him for a second. I don't want to have to explain why I am upset about the date.
In a normal life, the date wouldn't even matter to them. I wish so much that my life could be normal. But it can't. My life is just sad, fearful, and full of regret. It's great! Note the sarcasm.
I take a chance and look back at Four. He is writing something on the paper. When he is done, the paper reads, "I'm not gonna ask any questions because I know you won't answer them. But are you ok?" I smile at his concerned face. It's kind of cute actually…NO! It's not cute! I can't be thinking this stuff! Can I? Is it ok to be thinking this? I don't even know anymore. I'm so confused about everything, so I just let those thoughts fade away and nod at him, while giving him a slight smile to prove that I am ok. He smiles back. He writes something else.
"Is it really 4:30?" I look back at my clock. It says it is 4:33 am. Feeling like being a smart Alek, I grab a piece of paper, large enough for him to see and write, "Well, no actually." When I show Four, he looks confused. I write down, "Technically, it's 4:33." I have a smirk on my face. He just shakes his head and writes, "Feeling smart, now are we?" My smirk just gets bigger until it turns into a smile.
He yawns. A couple of seconds later, I yawn too. I swear, yawns are contagious! I look back at him, only to find him holding a note saying, "I am actually tired now…I am going back to bed. Good night Tris!" I wave at him and smile, then write, "Good night." He smiles and goes to his bed. I close my drapes, again, and go to my bed.
Tonight was the closest I have ever been to talking. I think that's why Four looked so shocked when I mouthed back to him. I think I kind of surprised myself too. I didn't ever think I would get this close to talking…of course that was back in the house I grew up in. And knowing that I got close to talking doesn't bother me. I feel like if I do end up talking to someone like Four, then I wouldn't mind. And I wouldn't.
I also smiled…a LOT. And I'm not ashamed. It felt good to smile. I haven't smiled like that in a long time. Once again, Four was able to make me smile. And once again, I don't mind. With these thoughts, I smile again.
So tonight, when I go to bed to get just another hour or so of sleep, I'm not afraid of what my nightmares will bring. I am almost starting to chant in my mind, "Bring it on!" I am actually glad that I might be able to get some sleep. I am glad that Four came along…even if we just are acquaintances in the future, I am thankful for tonight.
I lay down and close my eyes. I picture Four's face in my mind before I fall asleep. And for once, I sleep in peace. In the dark, where no nightmares can get me. And I can only thank Four.
Hey! So like I promised...I had Chapter 11 up this week! If you don't remember, I promised that I would try to have the next chapter up by next week. And I know I am cutting it close, because it is only 10 minutes until midnight! O_o But I still made it! I might not be able to update this upcoming week…some "things" happened at school…and well…let's just get to the point. I won't ever be able to see one of my friends again. I saw them once on Friday, but then, it was just him running out. I remember his friends were all crying when they saw him run off. He didn't have the best home life and he got made fun of a lot. And now, he is going into the foster care system. So guys…I stress for you not to ever judge someone by what they look, smell, or act like. Because he was a really great kid…he really was. He was just raised by the wrong people. So I can only hope that this life will be better for him. Even if I will never know. So please just keep him in your prayers and thoughts guys. He needs it.
Anyways…enough with the sad stuff! Did anyone see Mockingjay Pt. 1!? I saw it and it was the most AMAZING thing EVER! You guys need to go see it if you haven't! YOU NEED TO!
And thanks to all of you guys who reviewed last chapter! You guys rock! And thanks to all of my readers, followers, and favorites also! You guys rock too!:) I will try to update as soon as possible, but like I said. It could take a couple of weeks. I am gonna be busy…ESPECIALLY with Thanksgiving and Black Friday coming up! So excited!:) So have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!:) GOOD NIGHT!