Hey everybody! Did you miss me? I know I missed you! I feel so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry. I literally have about 10 birthdays in January that I need to remember. And 5 of them are within the time span of 3 days! So my grandpa's birthday is first, then a couple of weeks after comes my brother's, then on the same day is a family friend, my best friend, and another friend. Then my dad's birthday is the day after along with the family friends' son. Then my uncle's birthday comes. Then another one of my best friend's birthday comes in the last week of January. Or somewhere around there at least. Does anyone else have a month like this? Or is it just my family…:/ I have been unbelievably busy. And if you noticed, I changed the summary up a bit. I didn't write it exactly how I had it planned out. I just wrote as I went, and I figured that I better change the summary to something more fitting. Is it any better? Please tell me!

Disclaimer: Is Veronica Roth 13? Does anyone know? Oh! You're giving me an answer!...no? Ya. I didn't think so. So therefore, I do not own Divergent.

Four/Tobias' POV

As I head upstairs, I think about what I almost just did. I almost kissed Tris! I can't believe I did that! I probably screwed our whole friendship up. Great going Tobias. I saw the way she tensed up before I did. Luckily I snapped to my senses and just kissed her on the forehead. I saw her relax after that. I knew she didn't like me back, so why did I try to kiss her? I am so stupid! I can just hope that I didn't completely screw up our friendship.

I let my thoughts wander over to earlier tonight. When I first went down to the dugout, I didn't expect anyone to be there, and apparently, neither did Tris. She looked…I hate to say it, but she looked vulnerable. I've never seen her like that before. She was pale, shaking, crying, and she looked like she was having a mental breakdown. She only snapped out of it when I kept talking to her. The first time I asked her if she was ok, she stopped for a moment, but then snapped right back into it. After a couple more tries, she finally took her shaking hands off of her head, and looked at me. Well, for a split second anyways. Was my voice the thing that snapped her awake? I like to think that it was.

I don't know what caused whatever that was to happen, but I don't like to think about it. When Tori said she's had a rough couple of years, is this what she meant? Or did she mean what caused that? I don't know. But I hope she is ok. I worry about her. When she started sobbing, I was surprised when she embraced me first. And when she put my hand back on her hair. I chuckle at the thought of that. She never would have done that if she was thinking straight.

I don't pity Tris. Not one bit. She is strong, and she doesn't need anyone to keep her strong. Although I would like to help her go through whatever it is she's scared of, I know it's up to Tris to make a decision like that.

I also think about when I told Tris she was cute. It saddens me to think that she doesn't think good thoughts about herself. She's beautiful, on the inside and out, and I can't believe she doesn't see that. She is unique, beautiful, strong, brave, independent, and so many other things. I wish she could see that. I know she doesn't believe me.I saw it in her eyes. But maybe one day she will see her for what she truly is. Maybe.

I finally reach my room and look out my window, secretly hoping to see a glance at Tris, but all I see are her closed drapes. I turn around and get dressed in my pajamas and hop into bed. I fall asleep, thinking about Tris.

I wait outside my house after school. I'm 13 years old and today I got into a fight with some kid. He made fun of my mom, which isn't even here anymore. So I went over and told him never to say that again, but he didn't listen. He made the first move. I never would've purposely started a fight; I don't want to be like Marcus. He was the first to punch me, and then I just used self-defense and went from there. Luckily, some teacher saw the whole thing and made sure I wouldn't get in trouble. By school rules, they still had to call Marcus. They said they called him and made sure to tell him that it wasn't my fault and that I was just doing self-defense, but I know it won't be good when I walk through the door.

I finally just suck in a breath and force my legs to walk. I walk through the door and close it behind me, putting my book bag and shoes by the entryway during the process. I make sure to stand up straight, knowing it will be worse if I don't use correct posture. "TOBIAS! GET OVER HERE!" I finally hear Marcus say. I feel a rush of adrenaline run through me and I walk to the living room, where he is most likely going to be at.

I go into the living room, bracing myself for the worst. I see him smiling devilishly at me. It sends chills running down my spine. "Now son, how was school today? Did you do anything…exciting?" he asks me. For a second, I believe that they forgot to call him. So I make a bad mistake. I lie. "No sir. Nothing happened," I say. His eyes enlarge, filled with fury and hate. He jumps up from his seat, and just the look on his face makes me step back out of fear.

"HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME! I KNOW ABOUT THE FIGHT! THE SCHOOL CALLED ME! YOU WILL NOT LIE TO ME!" Marcus yells. "Get on your knees son. It's time you learned a lesson." I know I can't fight him. It would just be worse in the end. So I get on my knees and slip off my shirt. It's quick and only takes a couple of seconds. It's been routine for almost 7 years. I grit my teeth and brace myself for what's about to come.

I hear the sickening sound of the belt as it slides out of Marcus' belt. "This is for your own good," he says. I close my eyes and try not to yell when the first strike comes down on my back. It keeps coming down and I keep track. 12, 13, 14, 15-. I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts when I feel an incredible pain coming from my back. It hurt more than any of the leather strikes. Then I realize that he used the belt buckle. He must not have been satisfied without hearing me make any noise. I hear him laugh. "Get out of my sight you filthy, disappointing boy," he says, but not before slapping me one more time with me belt buckle. He laughs again as I try to get up without staining the carpet. "GO!" he yells. I am scared, so I scramble up forgetting about the carpet.

Apparently, I got a couple of drips of blood on the carpet, because he yells again. "GET BACK DOWN! Apparently you didn't learn your lesson the first time." I fall to my knees and listen, feel, and yell after each hit. Each one hitting one of the last ones. He hits me until I see black spots taking over my vision, and pass out from the pain.

I wake up yelling, sweating, and panicking, looking around the room. I haven't had a Marcus about him for a while now, well, for at least a few nights anyways. That day was one of the worst ones for me. He's only beat me unconscious a handful of times. But that time was when he first used the belt buckle. That was the most painful of them all.

Marcus started beating me when I was 7. When mom died, he went out of his mind and started to hit me to relieve some of his pain. He would also drink. Most of the time, he would beat me unconscious the times he was drunk. I don't call Marcus 'dad', because no real father would abuse his kid. Never.

I haven't told anyone that I was abused. I don't see a need to. Marcus is gone now anyways. Or, at least he's been gone the longest than I've ever seen him gone. I assume that he went away. I woke up one morning and saw a whole bunch of money on the counter. At least $3,000. I was shocked until I read the note.

"Dear you little piece of filth,

I am going to be gone for a while. I am going on a long trip and hopefully to never see you again. I'll pay the money for the house, since it's required, but the rest of the money is for food, water, and school things. And whatever else you could possibly need. If you run out of money, I will have to come back and teach you another lesson. Please do me a favor and do not make me see your ugly self again.

Sincerely,

Marcus.

That was about 2 months ago. I still have a bunch of money left. Thank goodness. At least he has to pay the house bills. I don't care where he went, as long as it was far away from here.

I finally calm down and look out the window. To my surprise, Tris is looking out the window, looking concerned. Did she hear me yell? I hope not. But with my luck, she probably saw and heard everything. I hope my yelling in my sleep wasn't a dead giveaway to my past. If she did hear everything, at least I know that she wouldn't interrogate me.

That's another great thing about Tris. She knows when you need support and when to back off. She knows how to comfort you. She knows not to give you pity. She knows not to ask a lot of questions. She can be concerned and ask questions in her head, but knows not to interrogate people about their tragedies. I hate to think this, but I imagine that she learned all of these things from her own past.

I look up again and see her, still with a confused/concerned look on her face. She holds up one finger, signaling to wait a minute. It wasn't even a minute before she came back with a notepad saying, "You ok?" I smile and reach under my bed to grab my notepad. I write, "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" I know it's a long shot, but hopefully she didn't see all of…that. But in case she didn't, this is only way to ask without saying it straight out.

I focus on Tris again and see both her eyebrows raised, her head tilted down, and her blue-gray eyes staring back at me. This expression just stares at me like, "Really?" I sigh. So she did see it all. It was worth a shot. Sighing again, write down, "I'm fine now. I promise." Tris narrows her eyes at me and sets her notepad down. I throw my head back and groan. Why won't she believe me? I look back only to see her laughing. I guess she was just seeing how I would react. I probably looked like a little kid. I probably looked pretty funny, considering I am 17. I start to laugh too.

When we're both done laughing, her face turns serious again. She mouths to me, "Ok. But seriously. Are you ok?" I've noticed that Tris has been mouthing a lot more lately. She put her notepad down earlier, so I do the same. I take a deep breath and sigh. I really am ok. It's just hard for me to keep having nightmares about him and tell myself that he's gone, and that he won't hurt me anymore. So basically, I'm ok physically, but mentally is a different she doesn't have to know that. So I give her a smile, nod my head, and mouth, "Yes. I am. I swear."

She nods and smiles, and I know that she believes me. For the most part anyways. "Are you going to go back to sleep?" she asks. I know that she is actually asking if I will be able to go back to sleep. I honestly don't know though. I don't know if I will be able to sleep again. I check the time and it says 5:30 am. I don't know if I'll go to sleep. But for Tris' sake, I'll tell her I will just so she can get some more sleep. Her purple bags under her eyes scare me. I mouth, "Ya. I will try." So I wasn't completely lying. I might try, but I know I won't be able to sleep.

"Really?" she mouths back, with a shocked and impressed look on her face. Why is she shocked? Or impressed? I make a questioning face at her and mouth, "What?" She sits there for a minute, then after a while reaches down for her notepad and starts to write something down. When she's done I read it. It says, "I can never fall back asleep once I have a nightmare. You're really lucky."

I am? I'm lucky? Maybe I am…I figured everyone could go back to sleep after a nightmare. I guess not Tris. Maybe that's why she's down at the dugout most nights. Because she knows she can't fall back asleep. Wait. But she fell asleep last night after she had had a nightmare! Maybe it's because she had that rampage and was just mentally and physically exhausted after it and her body forced her to sleep. I doubt it though. So I decide to ask her.

I grab my pad and write, "But you fell asleep last night after a nightmare. How come?" She stares at it for a second, then looks down, like she is embarrassed. It is then that I see the slight pinkish tint on her cheeks. I know she will answer me; she hasn't NOT replied back to me yet. A couple of minutes later, she writes back "I'm not exactly sure, but I have a pretty good idea of why." What does she mean? Why? Why didn't she tell me why?

I stare at her noticing that she still hasn't lifted her eyes up and looked at me all this time. I write down, "What do you mean, you have a pretty good idea of why? Can you tell me?" I made sure to write down the last question, that way she knows she's not going to be pressured into telling me. I hope she does tell me though.

I hold it up and wait for her to look. A few seconds later, she sees it and I see her cheeks turn a little bit pinker. I smile a little because she looks cute when she blushes. She bites her lip and has her eyebrows furrowed, but after a few minutes she must decide to tell me because she starts to write something down again. When she is done it reads, "Like I said, I can't be completely sure, but I think it was because you helped me last night. You helped me get through my little anger rampage and actually calmed me down. Plus, no one has hugged me for a while, minus Tori, and I think that also played a part in being able to sleep." Wow. I wasn't expecting that. She meant that it was me who helped her fall asleep last night? Because I calmed her down and hugged her? Isn't that what anybody else would do for her? Apparently not. I feel warm and bubbly after seeing her admit to that, but I know that it was probably hard for her to tell me that. So when she lifts her eyes to meet mine, I smile at her. She smiles back, still with a slight blush. Then her blush fades away and we just sit there.

After about a minute she breaks the eye contact and looks down again at her notepad. I realize that what she just told me is the most she's ever written or mouthed to me. The most she's ever admitted to me. And I smile a little bit bigger with this realization. She must notice it too because her eyes widen a bit, then go back to normal, and I see her smile at it. She must not be too bothered by it. Good. That's what I was hoping for.

Maybe she'll start talking soon. Maybe I'll be the first she talks to. Maybe. I can hope. Although I'm kind of happy that Tori and I are the only ones who really understand her right away, I would like to talk with her. For real. But I will wait for however long it takes her.

I am so so so so so sorry for the short chapter. I might be able to update soon now that my schedule is not going to be as busy. But I literally had 10 kids/adults and 2 babies over for the Superbowl last night. So if you understand...thank you so very much. Sorry again. I would type some more, but I sort of don't know how to continue this chapter if you know what I mean. Also...my little brother is nagging me to go and play with him. And I still have to eat breakfast. And you would think that I wouldn't have any chores to do since we just cleaned up for a day and a half for the Superbowl gathering...but NO. I still have dishes to wash and put away. I also have laundry. Whoopie. -_- AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! Have I seriously gotten this far? I didn't expect to have 20 reviews for the whole fanfic. Thank you very much! And you don't know how much happier I am during the school day when I open my email in the morning and find new favorites, followers, and reviews. So I know that this goal is really short. But I want to shoot for 100. If we get there, I will have a smile on my face for weeks. If we get to 105, then you guys can kind of choose what the next chapter will be about. So when you review, tell me your choice out of the three that I am about to give you. I'll try to set up a poll when and if we reach the goal!;) Your choices are Fourtris fluff, drama, or I can time skip a little bit, and throw in a big plot twist within the next couple chapters. And if you want to see more than one thing happen, I'll let you choose 2 on the poll. So until next time...which I promise won't be another month away...see ya!