Ok. So how is everybody? Good, I hope? I'm really not supposed to be typing right now…in fact I am probably going to get in big trouble if my mom figures out that I'm typing LTLTI instead of studying for my learner's permit exam….;) But I can't concentrate! I mean, who can read 100 pages straight of everything that can put me to sleep! I have taken many practice tests online…I am feeling pretty confident. So….here we go! Chapter 16!

Disclaimer: Veronica Roth owns everything. Divergent wise that is. Thank goodness she doesn't own everything! I don't really want main people in the world to die unexpectedly. Just saying. Does that even make any sense? Probably not. Oh, well. Just ignore me.

Tris' POV

Chapter 16

(I threw a teeny weeny little time skip there. Only like, 6 days. I promise!)I wake up with a start. Not screaming, but sweating and trying to get my heart rate back down to a normal speed. Another nightmare. Is that a big surprise? No, I didn't think so. It's only a day until the dreadful September 28th comes. My birthday? Ya! Let's celebrate! Good times! Also the day your whole family died? It kind of kills that mood. Completely.

When I finally get my breathing and heart beat back to normal again, I get up and go into the bathroom. I turn the faucet on and splash some cold water on my face. I turn the water off, dry my face off with a towel and look at myself in the mirror. It only lasts for a couple of seconds though before my mom's voice pops into my head. "It is selfish and self-indulgent to look at yourself in the mirror."I look away quickly. Besides, I'm still the same ugly girl as I always have been. I go back into my room and check the time on my phone. 3:32 am. I sigh. Of course it's in the middle of the night still.

I get back into bed and use this time to figure out how to tell Tori I'm talking again. "Hey Tori. Guess what? I'm talking again. Started last night. Gotta go to school now! Bye!" Ya, no. "Good morning Tori. So what are you forcing me to eat this morning?" Too harsh. "So I started talking last night. Just don't tell anybody. Except for Four. He already knows." Too straight forward.

I huff and pull my pillow over my head. I don't know how to tell Tori without her fainting or being a statue for minutes on end. All I know is that I will tell her. And that's not a good start at all. I groan in frustration. All of a sudden I hear a dinging coming from my phone. It better be good. I don't want something to make me even more frustrating.

By the time I get the pillow off my head and turn to look at my phone, it's gone black again. I reach over for it and turn it back on and see a text from Four. "Watcha thinkin' about?" I can't help it. I smile a little bit. I know I could just turn around in the window, but I am already warm and buried in my blankets again, so I decide just to text back. "Just thinking about how to tell Tori I talk now. Anything I can think of is either too straight forward or harsh." (Four's is bold, Tris' is not)

"Harsh?"

"Ya. I don't think she would like the whole, 'Good morning Tori. What are you forcing me to eat this morning?'"

"Forcing you to eat? I'm missing something here."

CRAP. I forgot he doesn't know about my eating! Crap, crap, crap. I reply the only way I can think of, hoping he'll think it's a joke or something between just Tori and I. At least I can hope.

"It's nothing."

"You sure about that? I'm not buying it."

"I'm fine. It's nothing Four."

"Don't do that. What is it, really?"

"It's nothing important. I swear."

"I bet if I asked Tori she would beg to differ."

"You wouldn't."

"Don't underestimate me. I will if you won't tell me."

Are you serious? Would he really? I throw my head back and stare at the ceiling. Of course he would. If he thinks that I'm sick or something, of course he would ask Tori about it. She would tell him. I know that. So I can either tell him here and just make it very undetailed, or he can go to Tori who will over exaggerate everything. The choice is easy.

"I don't eat as much as I used to. It's no big deal. Tori thinks otherwise."

"Mmhmm. I'm still gonna get after you for more details, but that answer gets you off the hook for tonight. You're lucky I like you, or you'd be answering me with as many details as you could possibly come up with."

"That's really all there is to it. She freaks out sometimes."

"I know that's not all there is to it. But like I said, you get tonight."

"Lucky me."

"You're going to be telling me details tomorrow."

I immediately find a little slip through to this. He said tomorrow, obviously meaning tonight, but it is already 3:40, so technically I still get 2 days before he questions me. I hear a ding again and view it.

"I see your face. Scratch that tomorrow thing. Tonight."

I silently curse to myself. Did my expression really give that away? Or can he just read me too well?

"Need a ride today?"

"Sure, why not."

"Hey I keep forgetting to ask. When is your birthday?"

Of course he would ask that. Of course. Why wouldn't he?

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes."

"I beg to differ."

"I beg to differ to your beg to differ. Tell me."

"*insert annoyed expression here*"

"*insert puppy dog eyes here*"

"Fine. It's soon."

"But I wanna know the exact date. Please? For me?"

"When's your birthday?"

"I asked you first."

"And I asked you second. Now spill."

"Fine. January 15th. Now you tell me yours."

"Who says I have to?"

"Santa Claus says you'll get coal for Christmas if you don't tell me."

"Oh so now you speak to Santa?"

"Don't judge. TELL ME."

"I'd really rather not."

"The coal is already in his sleigh."

I chuckle a little bit at his comments. I really don't want to tell him, but he obviously won't give in. Do I lie? Yes. No? I don't know.

"Will Santa Claus reconsider the coal?"

"Only if you tell me your birthday."

"I thought you said I was off the hook tonight for questioning."

"That was when it was about food. Spill. It...please?"

I tried. He's obviously not giving in. I know if I don't tell him he'll ask Tori anyways. But would she tell him? I'm not sure. Probably. There's an 80% chance she will. A 15% chance she won't. And a 5% chance she'll break down. They're not very good odds. I sigh.

"It's very, very, very, very soon."

"Like, tomorrow soon?"

Did he really guess it? Please tell me he couldn't see my face. I'm sure my eyes were wide open.

"I'm taking that as a yes. Good girl. I convinced Santa to take you off the naughty list."

"Maybe it's not tomorrow. Maybe it's in 3 days. Like October 1st."
"Ya. I saw your face Trissy. Too bad for you. You really should work on your poker face."

"Am I really that bad?"

"Yes. Yes you are."

"Just don't make a big deal out of it please. Don't say anything to anyone or I swear, I will come after you and make you pay."

"I'm already scared. Can I at least tell you happy birthday?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Cause Santa Clause said."

"So now you speak to Santa too?"

"I'm off the naughty list. I can do that now."

"Great. Fine. I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

":)"

"Ya, ya. Whatever. Well I'm going back to bed. Goodnight Tris."

"Night Four."

I put my phone back onto my nightstand and close my eyes. I hear my phone ding again and I check it.

"By the way, just come forward and tell Tori about it. Not completely straight forward, but not too easy either. Just tell her the truth. It won't matter to her."

I smile and fall back asleep.

This time I wake up with a small scream. Not long and drawn out, like normal, but just small and short. I had another nightmare. I look over at the time and see that it's only 4:30. I didn't even get another hour of sleep before I woke up again. Great. I can only imagine what tonight's sleep schedule will be like.

I look out the window to see if Four saw me. He's still laying down in his bed. He looks like he is sleeping, but I guess I cant be sure. For now, I let myself believe that he is sleeping, just so I can relax. I let out a sigh and take a few deep breaths, letting them out after holding them in for a few seconds each. It helps me relax enough to lay back down and close my eyes again.

As soon as I close them though, I see mom with a bloody face, laying down with her eyes wide open in the grass. The way I last saw her. I open my eyes again in a flash, trying to hold in the tears that threaten to spill out. I blink quickly, and slowly the blurriness goes away.

I lay there for a while before I look at the time again. 4:43 am. I know I need to try to get some more sleep, but I think that it's going to be impossible. With mom's face like that, I just can't imagine being able to block it out and go back to sleep. I mean, even if I do get back to sleep, I know I will be haunted with a few more nightmares before I actually have to get up. It's not really worth it. At least if I fall asleep without trying, I won't be thinking when I do it. It decreases my chances of getting more than one nightmare just a little.

I get up out of bed and go into the bathroom. Without looking at my hair in the mirror, I turn the water on high and dip my head under it. I know that this doesn't need done until morning, but I may as well just do it completely to waste some time.

Once my head is completely wet, I take it out of the sink, brush it, and then dry it. I can only hope that I am not waking up Tori. Once it's dry, I brush it again, then put my dye in the right way, this time taking extra time to get a few more gray and blue highlights in there. I then brush it again, making sure it looks perfect after looking in the mirror for 10 seconds at the most, then go back out into my bedroom.

Right now it is only 5:15. I sigh and figure that I will just lay back down in bed until I either fall asleep, or my alarm tells me it's time to get up. I have an hour and 15 minutes until my alarm goes off. It's a long time still, but I think I can stay up until then.

I lay with my eyes open, tossing and turning, trying not to let myself get too comfy and fall asleep. I don't know how long I do this for when I eventually decide to let myself look at the time again. It's 5:45. I've only been doing this for 30 minutes. Well, I only have 45 more to go. Doesn't make me feel any better; it felt like I was tossing and turning for at least 2 hours. Knowing that it was only 30 minutes just makes me sigh in frustration. I know that my nightmares will decrease in number after tomorrow, and I usually can go to sleep after each nightmare. But the night before and on September 28 is miserably long. I have nightmare after nightmare every night. Sometimes it even starts a few days beforehand. I know I deserve the nightmares, but it's just hard to live with.

I decide to just get up and get completely ready and eat when Tori has breakfast ready. I roll out of bed and pull out black jeans and a black long sleeved t-shirt. I slip them on quickly, along with some socks, and go into the bathroom. I brush my hair again, since it got a little bit messy when I was in bed, then put it into a ponytail. I glance in the mirror and immediately see purple rings starting to form underneath my eyes. I guess I should've known that it would happen. I've been getting a little more sleep for the past couple of weeks. Until a few days ago, of course.

I walk out of the bathroom and see it's 5:54. I got ready pretty fast. All I have left is breakfast, shoes, and brushing my teeth. I go downstairs quietly and see that all the lights are still off. I stumble over to the couch, planning on watching TV or something until Tori gets up. I lay down on the couch, searching for the remote. I can't find it after searching for about 5 minutes when I feel my eyes start to droop. I quickly snap them open again and refuse to let myself fall asleep. But that decision is quickly broken when I feel invisible weights start to push down my eyelids again. And this time, I let sleep take me.

I'm too late. That's all I can think about at the moment. I know I'm too late. And there's no way I can save them. But I still yell for them anyways. "MOM! DAD! CALEB!" They are all bloody messes. All of them still held to their seat by their seatbelt. Suddenly, they all turn their heads towards me. "Look Beatrice. It's that boyfriend of yours. Isn't he just the best?" Mom says. My heart starts to beat a little faster. I look out the window just in time to see Eric standing outside. He smiles that creepy, overpowering smile of his that makes my blood run cold, then he opens the door and drags me out.

I start to scream. I kick, punch, swing, scratch, anything that can get me away from him. He throws me on the ground and gets on top of me. "You said you loved me. Now prove it." His voice rings loud and clear. It echoes, getting softer and softer, but somehow never completely going away. It rings in my ears. I start to fight back, but it's like I can't do anything. He removes my shirt then brings out a knife from his pocket and drags that awful line down my stomach. I start bleeding, but he doesn't just stop there. He cuts my wrists, thighs, arms, and legs. I'm bleeding so much right now, but I don't feel any weaker. He can cut me a thousand times and I still won't get any weaker. I feel the unbearable pain, but I can't get out of it.

He starts to take off all the rest of my clothing. I look back at the car where my mom, dad, and Caleb sit. They are all smiling visciously now, like they're enjoying the show. "MOM! Please help me! Please , please help me!" I'm sobbing now, knowing what's going to happen if they continue just to watch Eric. He will rape me and I won't be able to do anything but watch. I hear her talking and strain to hear her over Eric's malicious laughing and the awful sound of the ripping of clothes. "Oh but Beatrice, you deserve this. All of it. You know it. I know it. Your father knows it. Caleb knows it. It's quite fun watching you get what you deserve." I immediately start sobbing again and look back up at Eric. He's completely removed both his clothes and my clothes. "Now let's have some fun Beatrice," I hear him say, just before I feel him slip inside of me with incredible and unbearable pain, once again.

I wake up to hearing my self full out screaming. "NO! ERIC!" I see Tori shaking my shoulders, yelling at me to wake up with Four standing right behind her, looking worried, concerned, and confused all at the same time. Great. How long was I sleeping for? An hour? An hour and a half? It's something like that.

"Tris! Thank goodness you're awake," I hear Tori say. She pulls me into a tight hug. "I was so worried!" I wrap my arms around her too. I know I need to talk to her, and I mean actually talk to her, but right now Eric's voice is still running through my head and my stomach scar is searing in pain right now. I decide that it can wait. I close my eyes before I think and see both Eric and Mom. Eric with that evil smile he always had on his face, and Mom with the bloody body. I snap my eyes open, even though I know they're filled with tears and feel them start to run down my cheeks before I even consider Four being there.

That was one of the worst nightmares I've had in a long time. Eric has never been in one with my family. It's always been either him or my family. And both of them together obviously equaled disaster and the inability to wake up from it until it was finished. I see Four kneel down in front of me and wipe a few years off my cheeks with his thumb. It makes my cry more, seeing the two people that I care about most helping me, a disaster. I bite my lip to keep from sobbing loudly, but eventually the tears win and I start full-out sobbing.

I squeeze my eyes shut not wanting to see Four's reaction. I know he's seen me crying before, seen me during an anger rampage, seen me in the midst of a panic attack, but he's never seen me full-out sobbing before. All of a sudden I feel another pair of arms circling around me. I start to freak out at first, but then I realize that those arms can only be Four's, and relax a little. His arms comfort me just as much as Tori, if not even more, and I can try to stop my sobbing.

I focus on taking deep breaths, trying to control my sobs first. They start off almost unnoticeable at first, then they become shaky, and then finally my breathing is back to normal. My sobs have stopped. A few tears still stream down my face, but I quickly wipe them away with the heel of my hand. Tori releases me at the same time Four does and they both look at me.

I press the heels of my hands into my eyes so I don't have to look at them. This was all too embarrassing for me. I mean, Tori has seen me like this before. But I didn't ever really want Four to see me like this. The last thing I wanted to do was to pull him into this mess. And that's exactly what I did. That's all I ever do. Drag people into things they shouldn't ever have to mess with.

I hear Tori whisper quietly, "Another one?" She's obviously referring to my nightmares. I know that Four has seen me up in the middle of the night. But I don't think he knows about the nightmares. So maybe he won't know what she's talking about. But it's doubtful. Since he saw me in this state, I'm sure the pieces aren't hard to put together. So I just nod slightly. I hear both of them sigh. Even though I can't technically see them, I just know that they're looking at each other, wondering what to do.

Eventually I hear Four. "You know you can look at us ,right? We aren't going to turn you into stone or anything." I smile just a little bit at his comment, but still don't take my hands off of my eyes. "Tris, please just look at us," I hear Tori ask. I take a few breaths and slowly remove my hands. I look both of them in the eye for a second, then look down at the couch and pick at a loose thread. I know Tori is right in front of me and Four is right beside me, but I will avoid looking at them for as long as I can.

I pull my knees up to my chest and continue to pick at the thread like it's the most interesting thing in the world. I feel my ponytail slipping off my hair, but I don't do anything about it. Even after it falls off and lets my hair loose and I see it surrounding the sides of my head. Good. It can hide my face a bit more. "I'm going to go get you some water Tris," I hear Tori say. In my peripheral vision, I see her get up and walk to the kitchen.

"Tris, please talk to me," I hear Four whisper so quietly that if he was any quieter it would disappear into the air. "Are you okay?" I don't want to respond, but I also don't want him to think that I hate him or am pushing him away. So I answer with a whisper just as softer. Maybe even a little softer. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this." "Tris. It's not your fault. I get them too, you know. Seeing you like this made me feel better. I know you're not shutting everyone out when you're like this. If rather see you like this than see nothing at all," he replies. What he said makes sense, and I know he means it, but I still wish he didn't see me like that. I feel him kiss my temple and rub my arm a couple seconds later.

I know that he told me the truth. I know he's not embarrassed or ashamed of me. So I stop picking at the thread and turn to side where I can lean into Four. He wraps his arms around me and snuggle up into his chest. I bury my face in his chest and enjoy this relaxing moment. I know it won't last long. Especially with September 28 being tomorrow. So I try to take it all in. The feeling of his arms around me. His scent, his breathing, his heartbeat. Hopefully I can remember this tomorrow.

I hear Tori coming back into the room, so I slowly untangle myself from Four's arms. I look at Tori and gratefully accept the glass of water she gives me. I drink half of it before I set it back down on the table beside me. "Better?" Tori asks. I nod. I give her a little smile to prove it. She smiles too and says, "It's only 7:00. You can stay here for a little bit longer."

I raise an eyebrow, confused. I thought it would be at least 7:30? I mean, unless Four came to pick me up 30 minutes earlier than usual, I'm missing something. Tori smiles sheepishly, like when a little kid gets caught stealing another cookie from the cookie jar. I tilt my head slightly and raise both eyebrows, urging her to tell me what she has to say. "When I came down and heard you yelling, I ran over to Four's and asked him to come help me wake you up..." she says. I feel my cheeks heat up a little, but I smile anyways. She was just trying to help. She was worried about me. Four was able to comfort me and even though I'm still not happy with him seeing me sobbing, I'm just glad that he cared enough to come over.

Seeing my reaction, Tori smiles back at me and sighs in relief. "So I'm not in trouble then?" I hear Four ask me. I laugh a little and give him a little shoulder shove. I shake my head. He dramatically lets out a huge breath. "Whew!" He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand as if he was wiping sweat off. Tori laughs. I laugh too. Then I feel Four give me a small shoulder shove back. I roll my eyes at him but I can't keep the smile off my face. He can be such a little kid.

"Ok. So do you wanna finish getting your shoes and stuff?" Tori asks. I nod my head, knowing I still need to get my shoes, book bag, and brush my teeth. I get up and go upstairs. I see my shoes in the corner of my room, next to my book bag. I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth first, before coming out and putting my shoes on. I grab my book bag and walk out my bedroom and start to head downstairs when I hear Tori and Four talking. I know I shouldn't snoop, but I can't help my damn curiosity.

Tori is speaking. "Thank you Four. I'm not sure what you did with her, but all I know is that she's more alive, ya know? She is just doing a lot better. I still worry about her, but not as much as I used to." "Anytime Tori. You're not the only one who worries about her," I hear Four say.

Before the conversation can get any deeper, I walk down the stairs and walk into the living room. "You ready to go?" Four asks. I nod and start to walk towards the door. I turn around at last minute though, and give Tori a hug. Then I resume walking out the door, towards Four's car. I walk outside and spot his car in his driveway. I walk over there and get in. I shut the door. He gets in a couple seconds after me and starts the car. "Ready?" He asks. I smile and say, "Ready."

Hey everyone. So I actually do have a valid excuse for absence. I promise! So if you want to read the excuse(s), then read the next paragraph.

Here we go. So it turns out that my mom had forgotten to tell me that I would be babysitting two kids on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and most of Friday. Now I bet you're wondering why I just couldn't type it up on Friday. Well, my friend came over. Maybe you're wondering why? Here's why. On Friday we were going to Kansas City with each other, my mom and dad, and we were heading to my uncle's. It was late once we were there and we fell asleep almost right away. On Saturday, we went to Insurgent (Which was amazing by the way! Wish they kept it more like the book though...oh well!) and then went out to eat right after the movie. Then right after that we went to the Maroon 5 concert at Sprint Center. (Which was also AMAZING!) Then we got back SUPER late. So ya. I fell asleep. Sunday morning we got packed up and headed back home. Once I was home, I unpacked did some chores and took a 4 hour nap. Excuses are over!

So...I stayed up until 12:30 writing 2,000+ words on my phone just so I could get it posted. I know you might be wondering about the plot twist thing. Do not fret my children! I have not forgotten about it, nor have I put it off! It's coming in the next 2-3 chapters. Guaranteed. I just need to get past Tris' birthday and then it will come into play. Sound good? Good. I will try to update another time within the next week. I have lots of English to do, so I can get on the good computer and type my heart away while I'm doing English. Multitasking!:) So until next time...SEE YA!:):):)