Thank you again for your kind words, follows and favourites; you guys are such an inspiration to me. And never in my life did I expect to get a message from someone in Brazil telling me they loved my writing, thank you Mari-Sousa2 for making my day.
I've wanted to write this story line for a while, but I had to wait for Alexis to be in the right place in my little universe, for it to be believable. And it's definitely a change of pace from my previous chapter.
And I also wanted to explore the fact that Kate is very pregnant and close to her due date. There are so many great stories that deal with the wonders of Beckett having little Castle babies, but I wanted to look at what happens to a woman, who has a career, a promotion, responsibility and authority, and how life changing having a baby is. Not just the physical side of giving birth and bringing a new life into the world, but how what makes you who you are, changes as well.
Once again, I have to send a huge thank you to my beta 41319always41319, for casting her editing genius over this chapter. It wasn't until I got this chapter back from her today, and re-read it before posting, that I sat there thinking, wow I wrote that. And it's largely in part to the mentoring and guidance I've received from her over the past twelve months.
I hope you enjoy.
Chapter 20: What could possibly go wrong?
Captain Beckett quickly tried to exit the car with as much dignity as a woman in her eighth month of pregnancy could, eager to get to the crime scene. The early August heat was wreaking havoc on her already swollen feet, slowing her naturally brisk gait.
Her day was already off to a bad start thanks to her husband allowing her to sleep through the alarm instead of waking her, which in turn caused her to be late leaving the loft. Then, having to battle rush hour traffic, Beckett ended up ten minutes late to the precinct. 'I'm sick of being mollycoddled,' she'd yelled at Castle as she left the loft, slamming the front door with enough force to rattle the surrounding pictures on the walls.
'Beckett,' Rick called before she had a chance to storm down the hallway.
'What?!'
'I love you.'
Kate had immediately turned to her husband and walked willingly into his open arms. 'I love you, too, but I hate hormones,' she'd whined and noticed her husband had remained sensibly quiet.
Sick of being encouraged to stay out of the field by well meaning, but misguided colleagues, Beckett was literally climbing the walls of her office out of sheer boredom. So when the call came through about a homicide down in West Village, Beckett decided to attend the crime scene. After all, it'd been a while since she'd had the chance to observe her team out in the field, and with performance evaluations and staff handover's coming up, this would be a perfect opportunity to…..evaluate.
And honestly, it was the West Village, one of the wealthiest neighbourhoods in Manhattan. The crime scene had already been declared safe by her team. What could possibly go wrong?
'Yo, Captain, what the hell are you doing here?' Espo asked, rushing over to his superior.
Beckett slammed the door to her cruiser with as much force as she could muster, and watched her detective wisely take a step back. There was something so satisfying about slamming doors when you were in a foul mood. 'Just because I'm pregnant, Detective, doesn't mean that I don't still have a job to do,' she stated and strode away as best she could towards the cordoned off building, adjusting her weapon as she went. Truth be told, Beckett's striding days were over for the foreseeable future.
'Yeah but…'
'But what?' Beckett stopped and turned to Esposito, her heavily pregnant belly making it difficult to move quickly these days. 'Yes, I know. I go on maternity leave in two weeks, but I'm gonna go kicking and screaming,' Beckett exclaimed. 'So, now that we've got that out of the way, what've you got for me?'
Detective Esposito quickly referred to his note pad to bring his boss up to speed. 'Call came into dispatch from neighbours around ten this morning wanting to report a foul odour coming from this residence. They also mentioned seeing strange people coming and going at all hours for the past few weeks which is apparently uncharacteristic for the owners,' Espo informed. 'Local uniforms performed a welfare check around eleven thirty where they discovered the body of a male in his mid-twenties, blunt force trauma to the head along with a fairly crude meth lab in the basement.'
'So we're thinking drug deal gone wrong?' Beckett asked.
'That's what the evidence is pointing to, Captain,' Espo agreed. 'It's either that, or the competition decided it no longer likes an open market. We're still waiting on Perlmutter to give us an estimated time of death so we can get a more accurate timeline of events, but the victim's been dead for at least forty eight hours, so as you can imagine with the current heat, it's pretty ripe in there.'
'Yeah.' Beckett went to spin and once again cursed Castle for her current state. Damn her husband and his damn penis and damn these bloody hormones. 'I want my body and I want my heels back,' she grumbled, not even trying to hide her irritation, but soothed a hand over her belly at the sudden feeling of guilt for cursing her youngest daughter. 'You hear that, Mouse? I can't wait for you to get here so mommy can show you her collection of heels and clothes.'
'What was that, Beckett?'
'Nothing,' Beckett mumbled. 'So what else do we know?' she asked, thanking her detective when he lifted the crime scene tape.
'Well, apart from the body and the meth lab, nothing much,' Espo advised. 'There's no sign of a break in, and the front door was unlocked which points to the victim knowing his killer. CSU are currently going over the house, and Uni's are canvassing the area, but so far everything points to a run of the mill drug deal gone wrong.'
Beckett stopped and looked at her detective. 'Esposito, have you taken the time to look around this neighbourhood?' she asked. 'We're in one of the most affluent neighbourhoods in Manhattan, there's nothing run of the mill about this,' Beckett chastised. 'Now, what do we know about the victim?'
'Hey Boss,' Ryan greeted as Beckett and Esposito approached him. 'What're you doing…with Esposito?' he asked, taking heed of his partner's desperate gesturing. '…because I have all of the victim's information right here,' Ryan advised, giving Esposito a discrete thumbs up in thanks. An angry, pregnant woman he was used to. An angry, pregnant woman carrying a gun was a whole different ball game. 'Victim's name is Christian Hemsworth, twenty four years old….,'
'Didn't he play Captain America?' Esposito asked despondently.
Beckett just rolled her eyes at her detective's behaviour, but decided to save their dressing down for the privacy of her office and not the middle of an active crime scene. 'It was Christopher Hemsworth, and he played Thor,' Beckett corrected and continued walking to the entrance of the house. 'What? I'm married to the biggest Marvel geek in the universe,' she justified.
'Anyway,' Ryan continued. 'Property's listed as belonging to his parents, David and Elizabeth Hemsworth, who're currently on their way back from Europe. Apparently mom and dad have been summering on the continent, and junior, here, was house sitting for them.'
'Wonder if clandestine drug labs were part of the agreement,' Espo joked.
'Alright you two, that's enough,' Beckett groused. 'Do we have an update on time of death yet?' she asked, but was stopped from entering the property by Esposito.
'Ah, sorry Captain. It's still an active crime scene,' he apologised.
'And?' Beckett asked in confusion.
'Well, Captain, we haven't been given the all clear by CSU,' Ryan informed.
'Again I ask, and?' Beckett questioned and caught a flash of red hair, meaning her daughter was currently working the scene. 'I want to talk to Perlmutter to get an idea of time of death. Is that alright with you two?' Beckett challenged.
'Well, it's just that we promised…'
'Dude, no!' Esposito hissed.
'You promised whom, what?' Beckett demanded. 'Did Castle put you up this?' she asked, her anger escalating.
Before either of her detectives could answer, there was a commotion from inside the house, accompanied by loud voices, and someone yelling gun.
Beckett went to draw her weapon, only to be moved to the side by Ryan. 'Captain, stay out here until we give you the all clear,' he commanded before disappearing into the property.
Captain Beckett was too stunned to argue, having never experienced her detective enforce such authority towards her before.
'Drop your weapon!'
'Down on the ground, drop your weapon!'
'On the ground, on the ground now!'
It was the sudden echo of gunfire that had Beckett drawing her weapon and entering the building. Department protocols be damned! Alexis was in there, and Kate would never forgive herself if something happened to her.
'Clear….weapon's clear!'
'Suspect down, I repeat suspect's down and in custody!'
Beckett carefully negotiated the foyer entrance, following the sound of yelling. Rounding the corner leading to the kitchen, Captain Beckett stopped short, not believing what she was seeing.
Face down on the ground was a male suspect currently being handcuffed….by her daughter, who was kneeling on his back. 'Alexis Harper Castle, what the hell!' she bellowed before she could stop herself and quickly holstered her weapon.
Alexis stayed true to her training, ignoring her mom's voice while she continued to handcuff the suspect she'd brought down before moving to allow one of the uniformed officers to take over.
Still ignoring Captain Beckett, Alexis stood and walked over to a young man currently huddled in the corner, and on closer look, could see he was wearing a coroner's uniform. The young woman squatted down in front of him, proceeding to give him a quick check over. Satisfied that her colleague was alright, Alexis stood and walked over to where Doctor Perlmutter was currently yelling instructions and waving his clipboard around wildly.
Beckett stalked towards Perlmutter and her daughter, anger building. Only this time, it had nothing to do with hormones. 'Alexis,'
'….no, I need to go over that area again.'
'I understand that, Miss Castle, but I also need someone to take care of what's his face,' Perlmutter hissed.
'Alexis,' Beckett said again.
'Who, you mean Damien?' Alexis asked, still ignoring Beckett.
'Yes, him,' Perlmutter said, gesturing in the general direction of the new intern still huddled in the corner. 'And to think, he was the best of the candidates.'
Alexis shook her head at her boss. He wasn't even trying to hide the disdain in his voice. 'To be fair, Doctor Perlmutter, this is Damien's first, active crime scene,' Alexis reminded. 'And can't you get one of the paramedics to look after him?' she questioned.
'Fine, Miss Castle. You organise the babysitter and then re-join me because we need to start over again,' he huffed. 'Captain Beckett,' Perlmutter acknowledged before walking off in the direction of the body, leaving the two women facing off against each other.
Alexis was saved from the wrath of her mom by Ryan and Esposito approaching them. 'So Captain, we've just detained, well actually Alexis just detained a one…..Maurice Doucheton, AKA Doucheton Dog,' Ryan informed, trying to restrain his laughter.
'Way to go Little C,' Esposito went to give Alexis the baby bird, totally oblivious to the standoff between the two women, but Alexis discretely shook her head.
'Thanks,' Alexis mumbled. 'If you'll excuse me, I need to arrange the EMTs for Damien,' Alexis added and moved towards the front of the building.
'Wow Boss, Alexis was really something. You should've seen her,' Ryan gushed. 'I mean, the guy came out of nowhere, and she took him down like a pro.'
Esposito elbowed his partner in the side, silently telling him to cool it. 'Come on Bro, we've got a suspect to put in the box.'
'Good thinking, Detective,' Beckett growled. 'I'll see you two back at the precinct. I also expect to see a full report on what happened here and why the building was declared safe,' Beckett ordered and stalked off in the direction of Doctor Perlmutter.
'If you're after a time of death, Captain, you're going to have to take a number,' Perlmutter grumbled.
'Can you at least tell me what the hell happened?' Beckett demanded. 'What were you doing in here?'
Perlmutter looked up from his clipboard. 'We were in here, Captain, because your people gave us the all clear,' the older man stated indignantly. 'So I believe that's your pile of paperwork to explain to the city why your people can't do their jobs, not mine.'
Beckett stood in stunned silence as the medical examiner stalked away. 'Can this day get any worse?' Beckett muttered to herself as she turned to walk out of the kitchen.
'Oh, and Captain Beckett,' Perlmutter called to gain Beckett's attention.
The captain stopped and turned back to the medical examiner, not even hiding her frustration and anger.
'Before you go tearing my intern limb from limb, you may want to know that, had Miss Castle not taken the actions she did, I'd be transporting more than one body back to the morgue this morning,' he stated before continuing back to the crime scene.
Kate moved to a darkened corner of the hallway and placed her palms flat against the wall, trying to calm her breathing. 'God damn you, Alexis,' she muttered, taking a shuddering breath and grimacing when she felt an extra strong kick from her youngest. It was one thing to work a crime scene with her husband, but watching her daughter in action this morning filled the seasoned cop with a mixture of terror and pride.
'It's okay, sweetheart. Your sister's okay,' Kate soothed, gently caressing her belly. 'Mommy's okay too,' she whispered.
'…..no he's through here.'
'And he's physically okay?'
'Yeah, I've already given him a quick check over, but he's definitely in shock.'
Beckett heard Alexis re-enter the house and assumed her daughter was directing the paramedics to her colleague. From hearing the two female voices, she was thankful Henry hadn't been the one to respond to the call because she couldn't deal with an anxious boyfriend as well.
'Captain Beckett, ma'am, are you alright?' Beckett lifted her head from where she'd been leaning against the wall and saw a young female officer looking at her with worry.
'Yes, I'm fine. Thank you,' Beckett assured as she straightened up. 'So, do we have any further information on the suspect in custody?' she asked, morphing back into captain mode.
'No ma'am. Just that it appears he may have returned to the property this morning and was disturbed by the officers responding to the initial 911 call,' the officer explained. 'But the medical examiner's nearly finished with the body if you want to speak with him,' she informed.
'No, I'll wait for his report. Thank you Officer…I'm sorry I didn't catch your name.'
'Officer Decker, ma'am. Rachel Decker.'
'Thank you, Officer Decker.'
'Ma'am.' And with a curt nod, Officer Decker walked off in the direction of the front entrance of the building, but stopped before exiting. 'And Captain Beckett,' Decker said, turning back to her superior. 'That young woman from the coroner's office saved a lot of lives this morning, mine included…..and I know it's probably not my place to say, but her talents appear to be wasted at the ME's office.'
'Thank you, Officer Decker.' Beckett kept her face neutral, refusing to give any of her emotions away. It was hard enough being a woman in a so-called man's world, but as Beckett had been discovering more and more as her pregnancy progressed, being a pregnant woman in a man's world was almost seen as a burden within the police rank and file. And that was something Beckett was going to fight to change when she returned from maternity leave.
'Yes, ma'am,' Decker gave a quick nod, and exited the building.
Soothing a hand over her youngest daughter, Kate followed the direction of the young officer, eager to leave the claustrophobic confines of the crime scene. Alexis must have exited the building in the past few minutes, spotting her packing equipment away in the coroner's van.
Calling on every skill she'd honed over her seventeen years in the NYPD, Captain Beckett tucked Kate away and schooled her features in an effort to distance herself because, in this moment, she needed to be Captain Katherine Beckett, not Kate, Alexis' mom.
'Alexis.'
The young woman stopped what she was doing and stood tall. Taking a deep breath, Alexis turned and came face to face with Captain Beckett. 'Captain.'
Beckett had to hand it to Alexis. The young woman wasn't backing down. 'You want to explain to me what you were doing in there?'
'I could ask you the same question, Captain,' Alexis challenged.
'Alexis, let's get one thing clear. When you're on the job, I'm your superior officer and I expect to be treated accordingly, is that clear?' Beckett commanded.
'Yes ma'am.'
'Now, please, tell me what the hell you were thinking,' Beckett demanded.
'I wasn't thinking, Captain, I was acting on instinct,' Alexis clarified. 'The ME and CSU were given the all clear by the NYPD to enter the building. It was during our examination of the victim that a man exited a hallway closet, brandishing a weapon. The suspect refused the officer's demands to surrender, and started shooting indiscriminately. As I was in a position directly behind the gunman when he'd exited the closet, officers couldn't return fire, so I took the initiative to disarm him,' she stated, ensuring to keep her answer accurate and clinically detached.
It took everything in Kate to hide her pride at the way Alexis described the circumstances leading up to the suspect's arrest. 'And you could have been killed in the process,' Beckett argued.
'But I wasn't.'
'Alexis, this is not a game. This is not some training exercise in the Twelfth's gym, this is real life, and you could've been shot and killed.'
'Seriously? Is that how little you think of me?' Alexis didn't even try to hide the indignation in her voice.
'Do you know how many regulations you've violated today? Not to mention jeopardising getting into the Academy?' Beckett stressed, deciding to try a different tact to get Alexis to answer her. 'So I ask you again, what the hell were you thinking?'
'I was thinking that if I didn't do something, I'd be standing out here piling bodies in a van, beating myself up for not doing something,' Alexis exclaimed. 'And if I've jeopardised my chances of getting into the Academy, then so be it, it was worth the sacrifice. People are alive because of what I did, of what you would've done in the same situation.'
'Don't you dare turn this around on me,' Beckett barked. 'You're not a cop, you're my…' Kate suddenly took a step back and leaned against the van, trying to catch her breath.
'Mom,' Alexis panicked and rushed to Kate. 'Mom, it's okay.' The young woman led Kate to the rear of the coroner's van in an effort to shield her from prying eyes. 'Come, sit down,' Alexis commanded softly, moving equipment out of the way so Kate could sit on the rear bumper of the vehicle.
Waving a couple of uniformed officers away, Alexis turned her attention back to her mom. 'I'm fine, Alexis.'
'No, you're not, and I'd prefer it if you'd let me get the paramedics….'
'No,' Kate stated vehemently.
'Miss Castle, what's taking you so long to come back…..' Perlmutter stopped and quickly surveyed the scene in front of him. Disappearing from view, Alexis heard the older man yell instructions, and reappeared with a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff.
'Perlmutter, I'm fine,' Beckett assured.
'Katherine, please,' Perlmutter implored, ignoring Kate's protests. 'I'd never forgive myself if something happened,' he said gruffly and placed the blood pressure cuff on Kate's left arm, having reduced Beckett to stunned silence for the third time today.
Alexis sat to the right of her mom, surreptitiously taking Kate's wrist and giving it a soft squeeze before discretely looking at her watch and checking Kate's pulse. 'It's gonna be okay,' she whispered. Kate nodded in reply.
'Your blood pressure's very elevated,' Perlmutter informed.
'So is her pulse,' Alexis agreed.
Doctor Perlmutter removed the blood pressure cuff and stood. 'Look, I know it's your choice, Captain, but I'd prefer it if you'd let the paramedics take a look at you.' Kate just shook her head.
'Mom, please,' Alexis begged. 'We can check on you, but we can't check on Mouse.'
Kate bowed her head in defeat, nodding her consent, and hugged her baby belly tightly. She'd never forgive herself if she'd endangered her youngest daughter.
Perlmutter disappeared from sight again, and Alexis heard the distinct noise of a vehicle being driven towards them.
'…of age, approximately thirty one weeks pregnant, BP's one fifty over ninety five and pulse is…'
'Ninety five,' Alexis answered and moved to stand to the side of her mom, making way for the paramedic Perlmutter was speaking to.
'I don't need to go to the hospital,' Kate objected as the ambulance reversed to the rear of the coroner's van, ensuring privacy. To an onlooker unaware of the situation, it may have looked disconcerting.
'Well, you ladies appear to have this under control, so if you'll excuse me, I have a dead body to get back to,' Perlmutter advised. 'Oh, Miss Castle, take the rest of the day.'
'Sidney,' Kate called and smiled as the older man turned back to her. 'Thank you, for everything.'
'You're welcome, Captain.' And with curt nod, Doctor Perlmutter walked back towards the crime scene.
'Afternoon ma'am, I'm Amanda,' the young EMT greeted.
'Captain Kate Beckett,' Beckett replied, her attention returning to the young woman in front of her.
'Do you prefer Captain Beckett, or is it okay if I call you Kate?' Amanda asked, resecuring the blood pressure cuff to Kate's arm.
'Kate's fine,' she nodded in response and looked up to see Amanda's partner exit the rear of the ambulance carrying a portable monitor.
'Mom, it's okay,' Alexis assured, placing a comforting hand on Kate's shoulder. 'I'm Alexis, the oldest,' she teased, trying to lighten the mood when Amanda gave her a confused look.
'That's one hell of an age gap,' Amanda laughed.
'Yeah, well her dad and I wanted to make sure we got it right the first time before going back for seconds,' Kate groused, feeling the anxious pressure slowly release from her chest.
Amanda smiled and shook her head. 'Kate, Alexis, this is my partner Gillian.' Gillian nodded in response as she set up the monitor. 'Kate's a thirty seven year old female, thirty one weeks pregnant, and presented with shortness of breath. Doctor Perlmutter checked her BP approximately ten minutes ago and it was one fifty over ninety five, pulse ninety five, and current reading is….one forty over eighty five,' Amanda informed, completely deflating the blood pressure cuff and removing it from Kate's arm.
'Good improvement,' Gillian nodded, and gently placed the pulse oximeter on the end of Kate's index finger before turning to Alexis. 'You wouldn't happen to be Henry's Alexis would you?' the EMT asked.
'The one and only,' she said.
'Good to finally meet you,' Gillian said.
'Yeah,' Amanda agreed. 'The guy won't shut up about you, or your dad, which is just plain weird.'
'Tell me about it,' Alexis muttered. 'You guys don't happen to have a fetal monitor on board do you?' she enquired.
Gillian looked up from the monitor. 'Not in this rig, no, but your mom's vitals are starting to stabilize which is a good sign,' she said, looking down at the monitor. 'Oxygen level's looking good and pulse is down to eighty.' Alexis nodded, relieved that Kate's vitals were getting back to normal.
'What do you suggest?' Alexis asked.
'You guys do know I'm still sitting here, don't you?' Kate grumbled. Now that the adrenalin and anxiety of the past hour was wearing off, Beckett was starting to feel like her normal self and wanted to be back in control of her current situation.
'Well Kate, it's up to you,' Amanda advised. 'We can take you to emergency where you'll probably have a long and boring wait to see an on call OBGYN, or you can go and see your own doctor in the next twenty four hours,' Amanda informed. 'I'm happy with the rate your vitals are stabilising, but I can't check the vitals of your baby.'
Kate groaned when she felt a kick, and rubbed her side. 'That's a good sign though, isn't it?' Alexis asked. 'That Kate can feel the baby moving?'
'Generally speaking, yes,' Gillian agreed. 'So Kate, what would you like to do?'
Kate looked at the three young women in front of her and wondered when she started feeling so old. 'I'll call my OBGYN. She should be able to fit me in this afternoon,' Kate said and looked towards Alexis, who was nodding her head in agreement. 'I'm feeling fine now.'
'Well, okay. Alexis, we'll leave your mom in your capable hands,' Amanda agreed and proceeded to help Gillian pack up their equipment. 'Don't hesitate to contact 911 if anything changes, okay.'
'Thanks guys.' Alexis sat back down next to her mom and watched the two EMTs climb into their rig, driving off slowly down the street. 'I forgot to ask them how Damien was,' Alexis sighed. 'Or where he was,' she added and turned to her mom when she didn't receive an answer. 'Oh, mom...'
Kate turned her head, trying to discretely wipe the tears from her cheeks. Apart from feeling completely mortified, coming down off the adrenaline and probable panic attack she'd had, Beckett felt completely drained.
'Let me ring dad,' Alexis pulled her cell from her pocket. 'I'd rather us talk to him before he hears it from someone at the precinct and comes charging down here. Was he at the office today?' Alexis enquired.
Beckett let her chin fall to her chest, shaking her head, already knowing how angry Castle was going to be. 'Home. He's supposed to be writing,' she murmured, hugging herself tightly.
'Okay, let me think,' Alexis said, more so to herself. 'I can drive you home, and I'll tell dad we'll meet him there. We can call Doctor Harper on the way, that way if she can fit us in now, we can just pick dad up and go right to her office. Yeah, that sounds like a plan,' Alexis dialled her father's number, quite proud of the strategy she'd come up with.
Kate rested her head on Alexis' shoulder. It hadn't gone unnoticed that her daughter had continually referred to 'we' not you, making her love the young woman even more.
'Hey dad….no, I'm at a crime scene…..no, you can't join me,' Alexis rolled her eyes. 'Look dad, something's happened, and I'm with mom….' Alexis pulled the phone away from her ear as she listened to her father yelling. 'Dad….no, dad I promise, she's fine…..yes, I'm fine too, but I'm just about to drive her home….daddy…' Alexis relinquished the phone when she felt her mom grasp her hand.
'Castle, I'm fine. I promise. Alexis and I will explain it when we get home…. yes, we're on our way now….I know…..I love you, too, Rick. So much…. Okay, bye.' Kate handed Alexis' cell back to her and scrubbed her face with her hands. 'I didn't know it was going to be this hard,' Kate said, voice trembling.
'What?' Alexis asked and stayed silent, allowing her mom to compose herself.
Kate struggled to a standing position, having sat in an uncomfortable spot for too long, and stretched out her back. 'This,' she said, gesturing to the hub of activity going on around them.
Alexis stood and quickly sent off a text to her father, begging him not to overreact when they got home, before following her mom as Kate walked back towards her cruiser. The young woman already knew her dad was probably on the phone to the precinct and would now be told a full story of half-truths blown completely out of proportion by the time she and her mom got to the loft.
Picking up the pace so she could get to the driver's side first was Alexis' attempt to reduce any argument with her mom about who was driving. Kate shook her head in resignation, dug her hand into her pocket, pulled out her car keys, and tossed them to her daughter, Alexis expertly catching them in her right hand.
Unlocking the car, Alexis climbed into the driver's seat and waited as Kate got herself comfortable in the passenger side.
After pushing the key into the ignition, Alexis sat back and took a deep breath. 'I think I know what's going on, but do you want to tell me anyway?' she asked.
'I feel like I'm losing who I am,' Kate whispered, staring out the window, watching the hub of activity. 'Don't get me wrong, I love being married and a mom and pregnant, and I can't wait to finally meet your sister,' she assured and looked down while she softly caressed her belly. 'But that used to be me,' Kate said, looking out the passenger window. 'In the middle of the action, yelling orders, commanding respect, and demanding answers….and now…'
'And now you're eight months pregnant. Everyone's treating you with kid gloves because of some misguided notion you're going to get yourself hurt,' she explained and held up a hand to stop her mom from interrupting before continuing.
'You can't operate effectively in the field any longer. Some of your colleagues and senior ranks don't take you seriously anymore and see you as a liability at best, burden at worst. You go on maternity leave in two weeks to spend twelve weeks couped up in the loft with a baby and a constantly hovering husband. And all of a sudden, you feel as though everything that makes you Captain Katherine Beckett is disappearing, which means you feel like you're disappearing….' Alexis let the sentence hang and took a breath.
'I hate you,' Beckett mumbled.
'No you don't. You just hate that I know you so well,' Alexis said. 'And I don't have an answer, or know what to say because I honestly have no idea what you're feeling.' Alexis reached out to grab Kate's hand. 'But mom, you're the strongest, most intelligent, loving, and compassionate woman I know. If I can be even half the cop you are, assuming I haven't blown that chance, then I'm gonna be pretty kick arse,' she smiled.
'Still not as kick arse as me,' Kate teased.
The two women sat in contemplative silence, each going over everything that'd happened.
'Look,' Alexis said, breaking the silence. 'Putting aside what happened this morning for the moment because I already know I'm going to be hauled over the coals in the next few days, and if I'm really lucky, the worst that will happen is I'm fired from my internship, I get that you were worried about me….'
'Don't tell me not to worry about you,' Beckett argued. 'And do not handle me like you handle your father.'
'Fine, I won't, but at least trust in my ability to make decisions under pressure,' Alexis challenged.
'Alexis….'
'No mom, I've been out here nearly every day for the past twelve months, and I've seen and experienced the best and worst of humanity already, not to mention watching newly graduated officers come and go in that short period of time,' she justified. 'And okay, I've probably broken every rule in the book this morning, but it just proves that everything you've taught me, the time, the training, the mentoring…..I was able to do what I did this morning because of you.' This time, Alexis didn't try to stop her tears as she wiped her cheek. 'It's one thing to love me like my mom, but it's something entirely different to help mould me into the person I am right now. If someone had given me a crystal ball, even twelve months ago, and showed me the woman I was going to become, I never would've believed them,' she shrugged.
Kate turned and looked at her daughter, and suddenly saw herself as a young rookie all those years ago, the revelation so startling it made her breath catch. 'Baby, I don't know what the ramifications for you are going to be, and I'm torn between wanting to throttle you for scaring the hell out of me and being so very proud of you.' Kate struggled to twist in her seat, but reached out and smoothed Alexis' hair behind her ears. Alexis grabbed her mom's hand and held it to her cheek, closing her eyes.
'Hey.' Kate waited for Alexis to open her eyes in acknowledgement. 'Thank you for taking care of me. The discretion you took to ensure I was protected from prying eyes…'
'But I'd do that for anyone,' Alexis shrugged.
'Exactly, and I love you so much.'
'Love you, too, but you know, for someone who doesn't want to be 'handled' like dad, you sound just like him,' Alexis grumbled.
'Shut up.'
'Yes ma'am.'
'Don't be a smartarse. You're still in a world of trouble,' Beckett growled, trying to secure her seatbelt. 'How about we head home,' Kate suggested and sat back, closing he eyes. 'I'm surprised my cell's not going crazy already, but I need to call Gates before it does, let her know I'm taking the rest of the day off, and give her an update.'
Alexis nodded and started the car before slowly pulling into traffic. Thankful they weren't too far from the loft, Alexis tuned her mom out while she concentrated on the early afternoon traffic which was exactly the same as rush hour traffic.
'…..yes Sir, I understand…..yes, they'll be writing it up this afternoon…I will…yes, I'll let her know…yes, my OBGYN's my next call….thank you, sir, and I'll see you tomorrow morning.' Kate pressed end on her cell and dropped it in her lap. 'Well, you'll be pleased to know you're the talk of 1PP at the moment, and it appears everyone at the crime scene this morning, including Perlmutter, has closed ranks around you.'
'I don't understand. What does that mean?' Alexis asked, slowing to stop at a red light.
'It means everyone's protecting you. Now I don't know about the ME's office, but you're going to need to make a formal statement about the chain of events this morning. Gates wants you to make it at 1PP to stave off any appearance of favouritism, so I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up in front of Internal Affairs.'
Kate noticed Alexis grip the steering wheel as she accelerated through the green light. 'Okay,' she nodded and concentrated on the traffic in front of her. 'Did you want to ring Doctor Harper's office?' she suggested.
'Yeah.' Kate picked up her cell and pulled up her doctor's details. 'Hi Susan, it's Kate Beckett…yes that's right…..look I've had a slight scare today, and I need to know…yes five thirty's perfect…..great, thank you.'
'Colleen can see me later this afternoon,' Kate informed. 'Are you free? I'd really like you to be there.'
'Of course I'll be there,' Alexis assured, pulling into the driveway to the garage of their building. 'Do you have…' and noticed her mom reaching into the centre console and pulled out her security card for the garage. Alexis murmured thanks as she lowered her window.
Swiping the card and waiting for the door to roll up, Alexis heard Kate's cell come to life.
'Hey Lanie….yeah, I'm fine, and yes, I have an appointment with Colleen this afternoon…..wow, news really travels fast doesn't it…..really? Two suspects….just a minute, I'll put you on loud speaker.' Kate turned to her daughter as she pulled into their parking spot. 'Okay, go ahead.'
'Baby girl, are you alright?'
'I'm good, Lanie, I promise,' Alexis assured.
'Well then, how in God's name did you come to disarm two suspects, one armed with a glock and one armed with a machete,' Lanie exclaimed.
'Huh?' Alexis asked.
'Girl, let me tell you, the way the story's flying through this place at the moment, anyone would think you were Wonder Woman.'
Kate looked to Alexis when she noticed her daughter's silence and saw the young woman clutching the steering wheel, struggling to control her breathing.
'Hey Lanie, I gotta call you back,' Kate said urgently and threw her cell to the floor. 'Alexis? Baby, can you hear me?'
Alexis nodded and started to look wildly around the car. 'Five things you can see, five things you can see, five things you can see,' she murmured over and over again.
'That's it, baby, name me five things you can see,' Kate encouraged, realising the diversion exercise her daughter was doing. 'What can you see?'
'Steering wheel….rear vision mirror…..'
'Look around you, what else can you see?'
Alexis looked around the cab of the car. 'Steering wheel…rear vision mirror….radio…..the Huntingtons have stolen the Buckleys' car park again….,'
'Good, that's four.' Kate turned to her daughter and cupped Alexis' left cheek. 'One more.'
'You're wearing your engagement ring today.' And with that realization, Alexis started to feel her breath slowly returning to normal.
'That's good, baby girl,' Kate soothed. 'Now, four things you can touch.'
'Your engagement ring,' Alexis said, holding her mom's hand to her cheek. 'It's so beautiful, just like you.'
Kate smiled softly. 'Okay, enough with the platitudes. I need three more things you can touch, and you can't use the steering wheel again.'
'Why not?' Alexis complained. 'Doctor Burke never said anything about not being able to use the same thing for both sight and touch.'
Satisfied that her daughter was successfully overcoming her panic attack, Kate sat and waited for Alexis to compose herself.
'I'm sorry,' Alexis apologised. 'It just hit me out of nowhere.'
'Sweetheart, you have nothing to apologise for. I'm surprised you've held it together this long,' Kate admitted.
Alexis let her head fall back against the headrest and closed her eyes. 'Please tell me Lanie's not going to make me go to counselling again,' she whined.
'That's up to the ME's office,' Kate sympathised. 'But personally, I think it would be a good idea to schedule an appointment with Doctor Burke.'
'Okay,' Alexis nodded. 'I suppose we'd better head upstairs,' she sighed.
'Yeah,' Kate agreed, unclipping her seatbelt. But truth be told, Kate desperately needed to see her husband. She urgently needed one of his all-encompassing hugs that seemed to solve every problem in the universe.
Alexis unclipped her seatbelt and exited the car. Waiting for her mom to join her, Alexis locked the car and wrapped an arm around Kate's, clinging to her. Pulling her cell from her pocket when she heard the pings, Alexis dreaded reading whatever messages were being sent to her.
'Well, they found Damien,' Alexis relayed as Kate led her onto the lift. 'And he's resigned, citing hazardous working conditions and stress, and now he wants to sue the city,' Alexis laughed. 'Oh, and apparently I'm not fired.'
'Good to know,' Kate nodded and led Alexis off the lift and down the hall to the loft.
'You ready?' Alexis asked as they stood in front of the loft's door.
Both women startled as the door flew open revealing a dishevelled Richard Castle. Alexis could clearly see not only her dad's distress, but his indecision on whether to reach for his wife or daughter first. The young woman discretely nodded towards her mom, indicating Kate was in need of his comfort and reassurance, and watched as her dad visibly relaxed while pulling his wife into his arms.
'I'm so sorry Castle,' Kate sobbed as she clung to her husband. 'I thought I could still do it…I thought I could still go out into the field…and I put both our babies in danger.'
Alexis quietly closed the front door and walked towards the kitchen. Rick grabbed his daughter's hand as she moved past him, giving it a gentle squeeze. Alexis smiled sadly at her mom before looking back to her dad, silently begging him to understand what Kate was going through.
Castle nodded and wrapped his arm around his wife again, burying his head in her hair. 'It's okay, sweetheart. I've got you,' he assured his wife. 'I love you so damn much. Don't ever doubt that.'
'But…' Kate moved back from her husband to look at him.
'No buts,' he soothed, cupping her cheeks. 'You're safe, our babies are safe, and you're exhausted and probably coming down off the adrenaline. Why don't we lay you down for a little while, then you can tell me what's going on in that beautiful brain of yours,' Rick suggested
Kate nodded, allowing her husband to lead her to their bedroom, thankful to relinquish any effort of having to think for herself for a short time.
Rick looked towards his daughter just before he entered the master bedroom. Alexis was standing in the middle of the kitchen, and from the sounds of it, was trying to assure her boyfriend that she was okay.
'Did you want a bath first?' Rick asked, leading his wife to the bed and sitting her down.
Kate shook her head. 'No,' she murmured and watched with utter adoration as her husband removed her shoes and socks.
'Kevin's filled me in on what happened,' he informed and looked up at his wife when she groaned as he massaged her feet. 'None of what happed this morning is your or Alexis' fault,' he stressed.
'But I was at the crime scene,' she argued.
Castle closed his eyes and sighed before moving to sit next his wife. 'You were just doing your job, and I'm as guilty as Kevin or Javier, or anyone else who wanted to protect you, for that matter,' Rick bowed his head and grabbed onto his wife's hand, resting them on his knee. 'And it was complete arrogance on my part for not trusting you.'
'Castle,' Kate turned to her husband, encouraging him to lie down. Crawling up beside him, Beckett lay on her side of the bed, spooned against him, and let Castle help her adjust her pillow under her baby belly and knee before she relaxed back against him.
'Better?' he murmured, wrapping his arm around his wife and kissing her gently on her shoulder.
'Hmm…almost,' Kate whispered.
Castle and Beckett lay quietly in each other's arms and could faintly hear their daughter arguing with someone on the phone.
'I hope that's not Meredith again,' Kate sighed and placed her hand over her husband's where Castle was softly caressing their unborn child.
'I doubt Meredith will be harassing her again. Alexis made it very clear to her last night that Meredith had no right to start making demands, and that all the paperwork for the adoption had already been filed with the city, and we're just waiting on a court date,' Rick assured.
'Where was I?' Beckett enquired.
'Sleeping, which is what you should be doing now,' he berated gently. Kate shook her head and looked over her shoulder to her husband. 'We don't need to talk about it now,' he said, placing a gentle kiss on his wife's lips.
Kate rolled onto her side again and snuggled back into her husband. 'You should have seen her, Castle,' Beckett whispered with wonder. 'Our daughter was brilliant.'
Castle could feel his chest tighten at the pride he heard in his wife's voice. 'How's this going to affect the remainder of her recruitment?' Rick asked.
'I don't know,' Beckett replied honestly. 'I do know she's already garnered a lot of support, including Gates, but there'll still be a full investigation into what happened this morning, and Alexis will need to provide statements and witness testimony,' she informed. 'Not to mention the take down of an armed suspect,' she sighed and felt her husband hold her closer.
'Was she….was she in any danger?'
Kate could hear the fear and trepidation in her husband's voice. 'I don't know,' she answered honestly. 'I only reached the crime scene after Alexis was handcuffing the suspect….but Rick….I had a panic attack when I was trying to find out what had happened from her,' Kate admitted. 'I was so scared,' she whispered. 'So scared I was hurting our baby, 'she whimpered. 'I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to her.'
'Kate….'
'But Alexis and Perlmutter looked after me. The paramedics were great, and I've already made an appointment with Colleen for later this afternoon,' Kate assured. 'But…..'
'But you feel like you're losing what makes you, you,' Rick finished, feeling his wife nodding in agreement. 'Sweetheart, that's completely understandable,' he assured. 'You've been a cop for almost half your life, and for a lot of that time, you were trying to solve your mom's murder. You've just been promoted to captain, and you did it all while babysitting me.'
Kate laughed at her husband's joke, thankful for the shift in mood. 'I'm scared,' she whispered.
'I know, and it's perfectly natural to be scared. Your life is changing irrevocably, and you're worried you'll be forgotten about when you go on maternity leave, and if you'll be treated differently when you go back,' Kate nodded, thankful her husband was able to give a voice to her deepest fears. 'And things will change. We don't know what's going to happen, or what the precinct will look like in twelve weeks. Maybe you won't want to go back. Maybe you'll use the time off to seriously look at going back and finishing your law degree, or maybe you'll just enjoy being a stay at home mom, okay?'
'Okay,' Kate agreed. 'Have I told you recently I'm head over heels in love with you?'
'Mmmm, not since storming out of the loft this morning,' he murmured and groaned as his wife elbowed him in the ribs.
'Daddy?'
Rick looked up and saw his daughter poking her head tentatively around the door. 'Hey Pumpkin,' he smiled, gesturing Alexis into the room.
Alexis walked over to the wall closest to the en suite and pulled the black leather chair over, positioning it next to the bed in front of her mom's bedside table. Rick noticed she'd changed out of her work clothes and was now wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.
'How're you doing there kiddo,' Kate asked, reaching out and taking her daughter's hand after Alexis had sat down and placed her feet on the bed.
Alexis yawned and nodded before slumping further down in the chair, stretching her legs out, ensuring not to disturb her mom. 'Tired, hyper, my mind won't shut down,' she mumbled while looking around the room at the ever growing mountain baby paraphernalia her parents were collecting; and noticed her dad must have finally been successful in putting the crib together. 'How're you feeling?'
'Same,' Kate agreed. 'Did you talk to Henry?'
Alexis nodded and wiggled her toes. 'Yeah, apparently I'm now a cross between Katniss Everdeen and Daenerys Targaryen, and depending on who you talk to, I either took down one suspect, or an army of white walkers,' she groaned. 'Lanie's looking for you, too. I think your cell's still in the car.'
'Hmm, I'll call her back later,' Kate yawned.
Rick looked between his wife and daughter, both struggling to stay awake. 'You two need some sleep,' he suggested and went to move from the bed, only to be stopped by his wife.
'Please, stay,' she begged quietly.
'Did Meredith call you again?' Rick enquired.
Alexis shook her head. 'No, it was Doctor Perlmutter. Now that Damien's quit, they're not going to bother recruiting for the internship until the end of the year, and…..,'
'They want you to stay,' Rick finished.
'To quote Doctor Perlmutter, "Miss Castle, it will give me four more months to talk you out of this ridiculous notion you want to become a cop, and go to medical school instead",' Alexis said in a near perfect imitation of her cantankerous boss. 'But honestly, I don't know what's going to happen. Lanie's already said there's going to be an internal investigation, and who knows how this will affect my application to the Academy,' she murmured quietly, covering her face with her hands, and resting her elbows on her knees in an effort to hide her tears. 'I was just trying to do the right thing,' Alexis said, voice trembling.
'Pumpkin, we know you were,' Rick assured. 'But we all just need to take it one day at a time, okay?'
Alexis scrubbed her face as she sat up and looked at her dad. 'Okay,' she agreed and rested her head against the back of the chair, tuning out her parents' quiet conversation. While she wasn't listening to what they were saying, the comforting tones of their voices were lulling her to sleep.
Rick noticed his daughter had fallen asleep, her hand entwined with her mom's. 'What time's your appointment?' Rick asked quietly.
'Five thirty. I asked Alexis to go with us because she was there with Perlmutter and the paramedics.'
Castle reached into his back pocket and pulled out his cell. 'It's just after two now. I'll set the alarm for four,' he advised and placed his cell on the bed next to his wife. 'Get some sleep. I've got you,' he soothed, and he felt his wife relax and her breathing even out.
'Love you,' she murmured.
'Adore you,' he replied, squeezing his wife's hand where their hands were joined, resting over their unborn child. Rick felt the movement of his youngest daughter and closed his eyes tightly, thankful that his family had come home safely instead of his worst nightmare coming true.
Looking over, he smiled lovingly at his eldest daughter. Even at twenty two, there were still times, such as now, Alexis looked twelve. But she wasn't twelve. Instead, his baby girl was now a young adult, on the cusp of doing something amazing with her life.
He felt the sting of tears at the thought of how many people she'd saved today. While Kevin hadn't told him the full story of what'd happened, just the tone in his friend's voice was enough to tell Rick how rattled the seasoned cop had been.
Even though Rick still had misgivings about his daughter wanting to become a cop, he now realised that his little girl was quite capable of looking after herself.
Settling down next to his wife, Castle also knew that Beckett had been instrumental in helping mould their daughter into the woman she'd become. And he couldn't wait to see Kate with their youngest daughter because he knew in his heart, his wife will be magnificent.