The poll has been closed!

Please know that the intelligence test scores I gave your characters have absolutely nothing to do with what I think about your actual intelligence (just like the way I chose to portray your characters has nothing to do with what I think of you personally). It's a beauty pageant; I need some ditzy, stupid girls and some arrogant, snappy bitches.

14. Nobody Wiser

After returning to Shiz the next day, Fiyero and Elphaba found their way back to the café of their first (unofficial) date. She was once again leaning with her back against his side, a book in her lap, and she only paused her reading every now and then to reach for the cup of herbal tea on the table beside her. Fiyero had his chin on her shoulder and his arms around her, occasionally sipping his own drink, but otherwise quietly reading along. Elphaba realised how sappy they had to look together, but she didn't really care.

Fiyero seemed to agree, because he murmured, "This is nice."

She turned her head to look at him. "Is it?" she asked, struggling to keep her voice even. She'd been thinking about this ever since the night before and she'd been afraid to ask, but now that he brought it up himself… She tried to make a joke of it. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather ask Saraphina if she would reconsider her decision to opt out of your arranged marriage?"

He drew away with a look of mild shock on his face. "What?"

"Never mind," she muttered, ducking her head and pretending to go back to her book. "Forget I said anything."

He sighed and put his chin back on her shoulder. "Fae," he said into her ear, "if I wanted Saraphina, I would have asked Saraphina to be my girlfriend. The same goes for Glinda, or Pfannee, or any one of those other girls I know still make you insecure." She started at that – she hadn't thought he knew that about her – but he just pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I want you, okay? I've known you for about fifteen months now and we've been friends for over a year, but I must have been in love with you for almost just as long. Ever since we saved that Lion cub together."

She turned around again, blinking at him, and he gave her one of those lopsided grins she loved so much. "You'd better get used to me," he told her. "I'm not letting you go now."

She chuckled weakly, unsure if she believed him. He could probably tell – he always could – but he didn't call her out on it. Instead, he just touched her chin to bring her face closer to his and he kissed her, softly at first. She responded by kissing him back and wrapping her arms around his neck. She could feel one of his hands gliding up her back, combing through her hair and then tangling in it, cradling the back of her head to keep her close to him. They broke apart for air for a moment and the look she saw in his bright blue eyes convinced her, more than anything, that what he had just told her had to be true.

She pressed her lips against his again, muffling the surprised noise that escaped him. Normally, she would be embarrassed to be caught kissing in public; now, she found that she didn't care. They were in a faraway corner of a tiny café in a town they rarely visited. The only other people present were a single waitress and the barkeeper, both of whom had been ignoring the couple for most of the time, and two other guests who also seemed to be too wrapped up in one another to pay much attention to their surroundings.

Fiyero deepened the kiss, stroking her cheek with his free hand, and she pressed herself even closer to him. When they began to get starved for oxygen again, he instead started kissing down her jaw line to her throat, making her sigh his name.

"Yero…"

"Mmh?"

"I love you."

He pulled away so quickly she nearly fell off his lap, but his hands shot out to balance her just in time. She could feel herself flushing. She hadn't meant for that to slip out. Yes, she'd been thinking it, but… wasn't it too soon? They hadn't even been together for two weeks yet. Sure, they'd been friends for much longer and he just admitted to her he'd been in love with her for nearly a year already, but still. She shouldn't have said that.

"Again," she said with a forced little laugh, "forget I said that. I seem to be saying a lot of things I don't mean today."

His face fell and she cringed. That hadn't really come out the way she'd wanted it to, either.

She didn't say anything, though, and neither did he. They were both still breathing hard from the kissing not much earlier and they just looked at each other for a while before Fiyero carefully helped her off his lap.

"It's getting late," he said, his voice neutral. "We should go back."

She nodded, not trusting her own voice, and took the hand he offered to help her up. She wanted to say something, to explain what she had meant, but she wasn't sure how.

They were both silent until they were sitting in the carriage, at which point Elphaba couldn't bear it any longer and blurted out, "I'm sorry."

He looked at her.

She averted her gaze. "I didn't mean it that way," she mumbled. "I mean… I did mean it. That… well, that I love you. I just… felt like I shouldn't have said it, because it's too soon, and I don't usually say such things, and because I didn't even know if you feel the same way – I mean, you said you're in love with me, but that's not really the same. Or is it? I don't know. I don't feel like I know anything at all about this stuff and it's driving me nuts, because you know how much I hate not knowing something. And now I'm babbling like an idiot and… and I'm just… well, I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything. When she finally dared to glance up at him, he was grinning.

"What?" she asked defensively. "Are you laughing at me?"

"I wouldn't dare," he assured her, drawing her into his arms and kissing her softly. "And I love you, too."

She blinked. "You do?"

"Absolutely." He kissed her again. "I know you don't know much about being in a relationship, Fae, but you're forgetting that I don't, either. We decided to figure it out together, didn't we?" Another kiss. "And I love you."

She chuckled slightly, feeling more relieved than she was willing to admit. "I love you, too, Yero."

Over the course of the next couple of days, Elphaba was glad to get some peace and quiet. That Friday, the final non-live episode of Miss Emerald would be broadcast; and since the live semi-final wouldn't be until the Friday night after that, there wouldn't be any recording sessions or other pageant-related events. Of course, everyone still insisted Elphaba should look her best for any potential press lurking anywhere, but at least she could mostly just do her own thing.

That, of course, meant that aside from studying and spending time with her friends, she also went on another date with Fiyero. This time, he insisted on doing something a little more date-like and so one evening, they went out for dinner and then to see a movie at the local theatre. Much to her surprise, Elphaba found that she felt like she was actually getting used to this whole relationship thing. She was hardly nervous for their dates anymore, knowing Fiyero knew her and wouldn't do anything she didn't want him to. Somehow, both of them slowly relaxed into their new status as a couple.

On Friday, the next Miss Emerald episode was on TV and they all gathered in Elphaba and Glinda's dorm room again, both Dr Dillamond and Chistery joining them this time.

"I can't believe next week will be a live show already," said Chistery, shaking his head. "It's gone so fast!"

"Not fast enough," Elphaba grumbled as she handed out drinks and then crawled onto her bed to settle down next to Fiyero for the show. "And besides, I can't believe it's been five weeks already and I still haven't found anything out about who we're looking for."

Nessa sighed. "Fabala, we've been over this," she said patiently. "You'll figure it out."

"We'll all help," Fiyero offered. Nessa, Boq, Dillamond, and Chistery nodded. Glinda looked dubious.

"Helping you won't get in the way of my chances of winning this title, right?" she asked worriedly, making everyone groan and sigh her name in exasperation. "I'm serious! I can't be caught snooping around or anything. I'd be disqualified!"

"I'll do the snooping," Elphaba assured her friend. "Just… keep an eye out for anything strange. Maybe try to coax some people into talking to you."

Glinda nodded slowly, thinking it over. "I could do that."

The show began and Elphaba leaned against Fiyero, smiling a little when he put his arm around her and hummed the stupid intro tune into her ear. She elbowed him between the ribs, which made him gasp and Glinda shushed him.

The presentation of the girls' charities was entertaining to watch, even though a full five minutes were dedicated to some footage of Elphaba and Fiyero together and Reven and Cashel gushing about the relationship between Princess Elphaba, a promising Miss Emerald participant, and the handsome prince of the Vinkus. However, it was the second part of the episode that Elphaba really perked up at: the results of the intelligence test.

"All the girls have taken an intelligence test," Reven was explaining to the viewers. "They have each been awarded a score between 1 and 100, based on the results of this test. A score of 50 is average among Ozians. The test in question is a highly reliable, government-approved test used by many schools and companies to judge potential students and employees on their intelligence, so our contestants' results do present quite a good image of their general intelligence!"

Glinda whimpered dramatically. Elphaba rolled her eyes.

Boq said casually, "Ten pieces of silver on Elphaba having gotten the highest score."

"I'm not taking that bet," Fiyero declined.

Dr Dillamond agreed. "Honestly, Master Boq, I think we all know Miss Elphaba will probably have the highest score."

"We will now list the contestants' scores from lowest to highest!" Cashel chirped and everyone leaned forward a little.

"In the lowest place, with 38 points," Reven said, lowering her voice so as to increase the tension. "Macy Lezwis!"

Elphaba snorted a laugh, which made Glinda glare at her disapprovingly. On the screen, a picture of Macy was shown with her name, province of origin, and score in the bottom left corner.

"In eleventh place, with 40 points," Cashel continued, "is Micaela Kaunis!"

"Tenth place, 42 points, Faye Alis!"

"Ninth place, 44 points, Glinda Upland!"

Glinda let out an indignant squeal. "I scored lower than average?! How is that possible? I'm super smartified! The test must have been wrong!"

She continued complaining loudly, even as the others tried to shush her. Elphaba exchanged an exasperated look with Chistery. She glanced at the remote control and then back at the Monkey, raising her eyebrows meaningfully. Chistery, getting her hint, picked the thing up and handed it to her so she could turn the volume of the TV up, drowning out Glinda's indignant shrieks as she smirked slightly at Chistery.

On the screen, Reven continued stoically. "Eighth place, 47 points, Lunare Kaiara!"

"Seventh place, 51 points, Saraphina Bulok!"

"Sixth place, 52 points, Nessarose Thropp!"

Nessa looked pleased about that. Boq took her hand and smiled proudly at her.

"Fifth place, 54 points, Nathalinia Hearst!"

"Fourth place, also 54 points, Karise Fennows!"

"Third place, 59 points, Caila Westin!"

"And now," Reven announced, "the two girls with the highest scores – and I must say, these girls must be extremely smart! In second place, with a score of 70, is Umbia Zespri!"

"That means Elphaba Thropp is in first place," Cashel continued, beaming at the camera, "and the score she has received is positively ridiculous; but before we reveal what her score was, we will cut to the commercial break! We will continue in a few minutes!"

As Elphaba turned the volume down again, Boq shook his head in what was almost disgust. "I told you so," he grumbled.

Nessa gave him a warning look before glancing at her sister. "Congratulotions, Fabala," she said with a smile.

Chistery chuckled. "As if we didn't all know this would happen."

"Still," Dillamond said, also smiling. "Well done, Miss Elphaba."

Fiyero squeezed the green girl closer and dropped a kiss onto her hair. "I'm proud of you," he murmured to her. "Although I do wonder what score you got."

"100," Boq suggested, still looking grumpy.

Chistery laughed. "That's impossible. Isn't it, Dr Dillamond?"

The Goat nodded. "The scores of this test are designed so that no-one can ever get a score of 100 points," he explained. "I believe the highest score anyone has ever gotten in the history of Oz was 98 and that person was Oz's greatest genius. Of course, I cannot deny that Miss Elphaba is very smart…" He hesitated.

"…but I'm not a genius," she filled in for him with a little grin. "I know that. Just because I can top the year, doesn't mean I imagine myself one of the smartest people in Oz, Dr Dillamond. I don't mind. As long as my score is high enough to put those silly girls in their place, I'm good."

His eyes were twinkling behind his glasses. "I'm confident it is, Miss Elphaba."

"Aren't we all?" Boq asked rhetorically. His girlfriend gave him another look and he relented, sulking a little.

"What is your problem?" Fiyero demanded, perhaps a little more forcefully than was strictly necessary. "Aren't you proud of her?"

Elphaba grinned slightly at his fierceness. "Yero…"

"His problem is that he took this test once and he got a score of 70, just like Umbia," Nessa told the others. "Which, since Elphaba won, means that she has gotten a higher score than he did."

"I could have told you that," Glinda said snippily to the Munchkin. "No offence, Boq – you're smart, but you never did manage to beat Elphaba's exam results."

"She is brilliant," Fiyero declared proudly. "I bet she did get a score of at least 90 points. Even if she's not a genius, she's pretty damn close to one."

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Oz, guys, please stop," she said sarcastically. "You're making me blush. Yero, it's not realistic to expect a score of 90 points or more. Only, like, the one percent smartest people in Oz get a score that high. Boq, it's not a competition – well, this is, of course… the Miss Emerald thing, I mean… but just because I got a higher score than you did, doesn't mean I'm actually smarter than you are. Maybe it's only a difference of one or two points, anyway."

"It's not," the Munchkin retorted. "Otherwise they wouldn't have referred to your score as 'ridiculous'."

"Boq, those people refer to everything as 'ridiculous', or 'wonderful', or 'magnificent'," Elphaba pointed out. "They're incapable of using normal words to describe things. Besides, if they were to take the test themselves, they probably wouldn't get any higher than 40, if even that; so to them, my score would've been ridiculous even if it was only slightly above average."

"Manners, Elphie," Glinda snapped. She still looked upset over her own low score.

The commercial break ended and the show resumed. Glinda quickly stole the remote control back from her roommate and turned the volume up once more, her face betraying her anxious curiosity about Elphaba's result.

After a quick welcome back, Cashel held up one of his flash cards. "I have Miss Elphaba Thropp's score right here," he said dramatically. "In first place is Miss Elphaba Thropp from the Emerald City, with a score of…"

A big '89' appeared in the middle of the screen.

"…89 points! This score means that Miss Elphaba has gotten the highest score in the history of the Miss Emerald elections," Cashel was chirping on the screen. "In fact, it means she is among the two percent smartest people in our beloved Oz! Congratulotions, Miss Elphaba!"

"Yeah," Boq said, clearly torn between pride and resentment. "Congratulotions, Miss Elphaba."

Glinda, Nessa, and Chistery all started talking at the same time. Dr Dillamond was all but gaping at the television, then at Elphaba, and then at the TV again.

Elphaba herself, however, barely blinked. Instead, she turned to Fiyero and said, "I told you I would never get 90."

The prince just spluttered something unintelligible.

The intelligence test and the way they score (the x % smartest people in Oz thing) is inspired by the official Dutch test for intellectual giftedness. I figured Elphaba would probably be that smart. :)

Favourite lines?