I was asked to do Englandcest as well... When I asked which version, they said "all of them"... So, this is the first one, with Pirate!Iggy and Iggy.

Pairing: UKcest (Pirate + Normal)

Angst

Arthur stared at the table full of food and the decorations hanging limply from the ceiling. A solitary balloon had escaped its mooring and was bobbing against the ceiling miserably. He took the paper hat off of his head and placed it on an empty space on the table before leaning his elbows on top of it. He buried his face in his hands and tried to control his sobbing. He was all alone on his birthday again. No-one ever remembered.

"I remember," said a voice. Arthur looked up in alarm, tears running down his cheeks. Standing beside him was a man with blonde hair, a green eye – an eye-patch over the other – and a large hat. A sword dangled at his hip and a pair of pistols were stuck into his belt.

His past self. His pirate self.

Fluff

The day was ending and all of Arthur's hints had gone unnoticed. His pirate self had completely forgotten about Valentine's Day despite his repeated mentions and his multitude of presents left around the house hadn't raised a reaction. He had spent so much time and effort on the presents, sewing his own bears and making his own chocolates.

"Arthur," said Captain Kirkland, startling the Englishman. He turned to find him staring at him. "Come wi' me. I have yer gift."

"Gift?"

"Happy Valentine's Day," Captain Kirkland stated, struggling to hold back a grimace at these words.

Humour

"What are you doing?" asked Captain Kirkland as he stared at Arthur.

Arthur glanced at him before looking back down at what he was doing. "Embroidery," he said, matter-of-factly.

"Are you a woman?"

Arthur turned red and dropped the needle. "W-What?!"

Smut

Arthur began to clear the table and was about to leave the room with some of the dishes when he felt hands grab his waist. "Wh-?!" began Arthur as he was pulled backwards. The plates and glasses toppled from his hands and he cringed as they smashed. He was drawn back and he landed on Captain Kirkland's lap. There was something hard beneath him and his eyes widened.

"Ca-Captain?" he said.

"Shut up," ordered the pirate. His hands moved from Arthur's hips and round to his front, curling his fingers around his belt buckle. It slid open easily and his hands began to undo the button and zip.

Au/Crossover (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Arthur's sword blocked the pirate's and he backed off a little. "What the hell are you doing in here?!" he demanded. "Who are you?!"

"Ah, that'd be tellin' lad. But… Since you seem strangely familiar, I'll tell ye my name at least. The name's Captain Art Kirkland."

Arthur scowled. "Well, get out of this shop. Now."

(Gakuen/School)

"Well, this class is the stupidest piece o' crud I've ever laid eyes on." The Captain's voice came from the back of the classroom and Arthur scowled. He would like to give him what for. In fact, as the Student Council President, he intended to.

Sure enough, as the class was leaving half an hour after the interruption, Arthur grabbed the Captain's arm. "Not so fast – I have a bone to pick with you."

The Captain wrenched his arm from Arthur's grasp. Then he leaned in close as Arthur blushed at his close proximity. "No ye don't, lad."

Kinky

"Ye wear a lot o' clothes," said the Captain one day when Arthur emerged from his bedroom. He had on a pair of trousers, a shirt, tie, waistcoat and jacket. His shiny black shoes clicked as he walked over to the coat rack to pick out one. He just nodded, preoccupied with his speech later.

Suddenly, Arthur found the Captain tugging at his jacket, trying to pull it off. Before he could protest, the Captain said, "Too many. Ye should take some off."

Fetish

"Aye," said the Captain as Arthur stared at the screen. "Them."

Arthur squirmed a little. "I don't really think…" He trailed off as the Captain's arms tightened their grip on his waist, pulling him backwards. He could feel the Captain under him and he knew that it wouldn't be long before he would get turned on, too.

"Alright, I'll buy them," he muttered, clicking on the buy button. He sincerely hoped that Kiku wasn't the one specifically selling these tentacle arms…

Hurt/Comfort

Captain Kirkland struggled to his cabin, breathing heavily. Throwing open the door he let himself stagger into the wardrobe, knocking it aside. There was the portal. There was home. There was a place he could heal. He staggered through and collapsed.

When he next opened his eyes and sat up, he realised he was in a bedroom. The sheets felt soft beneath him and the light was soft as if it was deliberately left low. He looked round to find himself looking at himself. The other him was watching him.

"Um… You should lie back down," he said, reaching for one of the Captain's injured hands. "I haven't finished bandaging you yet…"

First Love

Arthur had never been in love with anyone before but, when the Captain entered the bar he frequented, there was something about him that made him feel at home. He had been tense, watching over potential women to try chatting up but he immediately relaxed as the man sat next to him. His presence was overwhelming and Arthur's breath caught in his throat.

After a few minutes of his staring, the Captain finally said, "What're ye lookin' at?" Arthur blushed and turned away, staring at a woman drunkenly trying to flirt with a man who was obviously gay, considering he had his arms wrapped around his boyfriend whilst sitting on his lap.

Fantasy (It's fantasy because, well, I envisage magic being involved somehow…)

Arthur had always been a stable-boy. It wasn't as though he didn't have the brains or the talent to be something more. He was just doing what his father had told him to do. However, this caused him to become frustrated easily. He wanted to go somewhere new. Be something more.

"Hey, you," said a voice and Arthur turned to look. At the entrance to the stables was a pirate. He forced himself not to cry out in alarm and step away from him. He would protect the stables if necessary. He held his pitchfork defensively and glared at the man. He just chuckled before sweeping his hat off his head and bowing. "I have a proposition for you…"

Horror

Arthur wandered around the ghost ship. It brought back memories. He brushed his fingers along the woods, pausing at any knots he found before continuing on his way. He was beginning to get saddened as the ship now looked worn down. Old. Like him, he supposed, and the notion and romance of piracy.

He was just turning away to leave when a door banged open from further along the cramped corridor. He froze before slowly turning. In the doorway at the end of the corridor, was a man. He appeared to have a large hat. He raised a hand and beckoned Arthur before turning away himself and re-entering the room. The Captain's cabin…

Adventure

Arthur landed with a thud on the deck of a ship. He could tell that right away from the sounds of water splashing, guns firing and sword clanging against sword. He scrambled out of the way as a couple of men were expertly driven backwards by one man. With a glance, Arthur could tell that he was the captain, his large hat casting a shadow across his face.

Now standing, Arthur ducked as he heard another gun go off. With the confusion, he glanced back at the captain and, seeing him preoccupied, shooting a few men down from the rigging, he hurried off towards the bilges, head lowered. At least, that was where he was intending to go but he felt something catch his foot and he went flying, his arms flying outwards to stop himself. He landed heavily with a grunt and tried to drag himself out of the way as another few fighters came towards him.

A hand grabbed his dinner jacket suddenly and he felt himself lifted into the air. "Get ye to me cabin, scallywag," said a gruff voice behind him. Then he was flying through the air again as the man threw him towards the door he had been heading to. He landed, skidding along the deck. He hit the wall with his head and he grunted in pain before staggering to his feet, glancing back at the man who had thrown him. He was sure he had recognised that captain's voice…

UST（Unresolved Sexual Tension）

Arthur stared resolutely into his teacup. He would not look at the Captain. He was insulting and rude and… Well, he felt near to tears at what he had just said and he would not allow it to go unpunished. He would not speak to him again. He would not acknowledge his being there. He would pretend like he didn't exist. Then, maybe, he would go away…

Something brushed against Arthur's fingers and he stared at the fingers that were so close to his. "It was a joke, ye know," said the pirate, grinning devilishly at him.

Arthur turned red and said nothing, gritting his teeth to keep himself from responding.

Future

Arthur cuddled into the Captain's chest, at peace after their activities. Their breathing was still heavy but it was gradually slowing. An embarrassed smile had spread across Arthur's face and he watched the Captain's chest moving up and down.

Finally, the Captain broke the silence. But it was as if he hadn't just broken that – it was as though he had broken Arthur's very core. The words he spoke shattered his heart and broke his soul into the tiniest of pieces.

"I can't stay here forever, you know. I'll have to leave soon."

Suspense

The Captain and Arthur huddled in the closet, breathing heavily. They had almost been caught on top of the desk. The lights in the building had already gone out for the night and they were most certainly not supposed to be here. And especially not doing what they had been attempting…

However, neither was the man who walked in. Arthur squinted through the gap, being careful not to move too much. The Captain's hands were around him and he felt comforted by that.

Not for much longer, though, as, at the exact moment that he realised that the man was Ivan, the Captain's hands began to wander…

Death

"Ye blithering idiot," snapped the Captain. "Stop yer crying; it's embarrassing!"

Arthur nodded and took several deep breaths as the man in front of him began to fade away. His hand twitched as he debated holding it out to him, to hold his hand one last time.

The Captain spotted this and, with a sigh, gently lifted it, placing a kiss on his knuckles. "Don't you understand, yet?" he said. "I'm ye. I'm going to be with ye, always – to help you have more of a good time, ye know? Yer way wi' woman and such. I'm no' leavin' – I'm just goin' back to where I belong…" He pointed to Arthur's heart just before the hand pointing faded completely.

I believe most of these can be linked into the one story, so I'll probably do that when I get around to it...