So I've been reading your reviews and it seems that some of you are worried that I'm going to give up on LTLTI….DO NOT WORRY! I promise I will finish this story! I love writing it and I will never EVER give up on it! Please don't worry about that you guys! I'm going to keep writing! It may take awhile for updates now because of some big problems I have going on in my life right now, but I will always update, ok?:) I also have had a ton of tests and finals...it has just been hectic!

Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving and Christmas by the way! Oh! And a Happy New Year! :)

Also, I've gotten several 'Yay's for Four's POV and I've also gotten some 'nay's as well! I decided that I will do Tris' POV for this chapter, but Four's POV for part of next chapter. I have some ideas for a chapter, and most of those ideas came through my mind as Tobias' thoughts. So Tobias' POV for a chapter soon and Tris' POV for this one!

And also, again, I'm so so so so sorry for the wait. I just have some really big issues in my life right now and school is really hard to stay on track with so I barely even have any time for myself. And when I do (I hate to say it), but writing is definitely not on the top of my list. When I have free time I either get on my Xbox and play with some friends or just relax watching tv or playing on my phone. So I'm sorry. I hope you understand. :(

And for my next act, I will apologize in advance for this chapter. It's not my best work ever. It's just a filler chapter, but next chapter will be either the fair or the visit to the cemetery. Can I have feedback in the reviews about which one you want to see first? That'd really help me out a lot! :)

Disclaimer: I'm feeling incredibly lazy right now and don't feel like coming up with a witty and/or funny disclaimer. So uhh...I don't own Divergent.

Chapter 27

Tris' POV

Eric's chasing me.

I don't know where I'm at but I do know I'm in the woods somewhere because of the endless trees and bushes I run by.

"Beatrice, you can't run away from me!"

I try to move faster, but it seems like I'm going as fast as I can. I can hear him getting closer and I make a hard right, hopefully throwing him off and holding him back for a few more seconds.

"You can't run forever!" he yells. My turn didn't throw him off a bit.

I can feel myself getting slower, but I can't help it. It's like my legs are being filled with heavy lead. I feel his disgusting hands wrap around my waist and start to drag me. I scream and try to kick him. It only makes him angrier.

"You bitch!"

He throws me to the ground so hard it knocks out my breath. I'm gasping for air on the ground when he kicks me in the legs. I roll over on my side. My leg starts to bleed from the kick. He's wearing spiked boots.

"You're a weak, ugly, coward! I wish you hadn't been born! Everyone wishes you hadn't been born!"

He then kicks my stomach, hard. I can feel the gash open up and start to pour out my crimson blood. I scream out in pain and hold my hands over the cut, covering it from any further damage.

"Shut up you whore!"

He kicks me again, but it doesn't hurt as bad as my stomach does. I start to cough, praying that more air will find its way into my lungs. I clench my fingers tighter around the gash. It hurts so much. I can feel tears streaming down my face at a heavy pace. I risk a look down and wish I hadn't. The gash is a jagged line all the way from my stomach to my chest. I can see the blood pouring out between my fingers and pooling in the grass beneath me. I can feel more blood leak out with each beat of my heart.

I throw up on the ground beside me. Eric makes a disgusted noise and starts to drag me away from that spot, leaving a trail of blood behind us. I close my eyes and try not to focus on the immense pain that comes with the movement. How long have I been here? An hour? Two?

He sets me up against a tree a couple of minutes later. I open my eyes as he squats down in front of me.

"This will be fun," is all he says before he balls his hand into a fist and punches me in my stomach. I scream in pain but am quickly silenced by a punch to my jaw. My head throbs but my stomach throbs even more. I close my eyes again when the pain becomes too much. I can't hear him anymore. My thoughts become fuzzy and the world looks too much like a spinning top to do anything. As I feel myself drift off into unconsciousness, the last thing I feel is the unbearable pain from my stomach.

I wake with a gasp and sit up. My stomach sears with pain and my hand flies to it instinctively. My head and heart are pounding.

I look around. It's dark. I look to the clock to see that it's 2:30 am. I slept through the entire afternoon, evening, and most of the night as well.

I feel a hand on my back, rubbing gently.

"Tris? You ok?"

I turn my head quickly to see Tobias sitting right behind me with a concerned look in his eyes. My head throbs from turning and I wince in pain but close my eyes to hide it. My stomach is throbbing as well. Why does my stomach hurt this bad? It shouldn't! It was only a dream! Just a made up cut!

Then I realize that it's not made up at all. It's the same cut Eric gave to me 3 years ago with a knife. But instead of a knife, this time it was a spike from the bottom of his boot. In my nightmare, he gave me the same cut, just in a different way.

I've had dreams like this before. The ones where I get this exact cut from Eric and I wake up with the scar hurting. Like the one where I slept on the couch and woke up to both Four and Tori standing next to me. My scar didn't hurt as bad then. Then again, I probably didn't pay as much attention to it as I am now because of the absolute terror that followed; the terror after the first dream with both my family and Eric in it.

My scar is still throbbing and it almost hurts as bad as the night I got it. Almost. But not quite.

I hear Tobias shift and can now feel his presence in front of me.

"Tris?"

I nod my head slightly, answering his earlier question, and open my eyes to look at him. My scar is slowly getting better; very, very, slowly. But my headache isn't dying down at all. I close my eyes again and rest my forehead on his shoulder in front of me.

"Yeah, right," he mumbles.

He probably didn't mean for me to hear that. Or maybe he did. Either way, I don't acknowledge it. I just continue sitting in the same spot while he wraps his free arm around my lower back. His other hand continues to rub it comfortingly. Eventually, the pain goes away from my stomach and head. I reluctantly pull back from his embrace.

"What happened?"

"Just a...it was just a dream."

"A nightmare?"

I shrug, acting as nonchalant as I can. "Ya, whatever. They're pretty much the same thing."

He rolls his eyes. There's a reason I didn't get Candor as an aptitude test result. I would never be able to tell the truth all the time.

"What's hurting?" he now asks, gesturing towards my hand on my stomach. I quickly take my hand off and put it by my side instead.

"Nothing is."

He gives me a look.

I bunch down a bit.

"...anymore."

He stares at me for a few seconds.

"I'm telling the truth!"

"Since we're in the truth-telling mood, why were you hurting before?"

I purse my lips. "It just happens."

He raises his other eyebrow.

"It just happens sometimes. I'm not sure why."

He gives me that look again. The look that says 'You're lying' and/or 'You're not telling me something'.

"It happens every once in awhile after I have a dream. I get this cut, and then when I wake up, it hurts like it did in the dream and it just hurts for awhile."

He nods, knowing I at least told him part of the truth. I lay back down and he follows a second later. I let a few moments of silence pass before I speak.

"I don't usually get nightmares like that that often."

"You don't?"

"No. Or at least, I don't get one bad enough to wake me up."

"Is it because you're back home?"

"This isn't home anymore...but yes. Probably."

It's silent for a moment.

"Are you okay now?"

I nod. "Ya…I'm fine."

I can tell something else is bothering him from the way he seems more...spaced off. I'm not sure if I should acknowledge it yet or not, so I don't speak.

I let a couple of minutes pass before I realize that he's not going to tell me what's bothering him without me asking about it.

"Ok. What do you have on your mind?" I finally ask after a few more minutes.

"What do you mean?"

I turn around to face him.

"There's something bothering you."

He sighs. "You know me that well, huh?"

"What's wrong?"

I'm not beating around the bush. I'm not a fan of that...well unless I, myself, am trying to avoid telling someone something.

"Can we talk Tris?"

My entire body tenses up with those words and I sit up again. Is he breaking up with me? Tears sting my eyes just thinking about that possibility.

"You know, I don't have much experience. But from what I've heard and seen, those words never mean anything good."

"What do you mean?"

I blink back the tears almost completely. "What I mean is that those words usually end in tears and/or the end of a relationship."

"No Tris! I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. I'm not breaking up with you or going to start a fight, I promise."

My body relaxes slightly.

So if he's not breaking up with me, then what else could be bothering him that made him want to talk about it at 3 in the morning?

"Can you lay back down now Tris?"

I look at him and meet his eyes. Even in the dark, his blue eyes are so very noticeable. Not just noticeable, but something more...they...stand out. They light up every room. They are...indescribable.

After staring at him for a little while more, I lay back down next to him again. Face to face.

It's silent for far too long. If he doesn't know how to start this then I won't know how to answer.

"I'm not gonna like this...am I?"

He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. "No. Probably not."

I take a deep breath and exhale. "Ok. Then just get on with it."

"I know you've told me a little bit about this already,..but it's been running through my mind for a while and I need to know more than what you said about it."

"Faster please?"

"About the day you...uhh…"

He scratches the back of his neck. It dawns on me what he's trying to ask.

"About the day I almost killed myself?"

He tenses up just a tiny bit and looks away from my eyes. I wouldn't have noticed him tense if I didn't know him so well. I know the ways he hides his emotions. And I have a feeling I probably shouldn't have been that straightforward about it.

"Yeah. That."

"Sorry. I've had a long time to deal with it so it doesn't bother me to be that straightforward….sorry."

"No, you're fine...I...just...I need to know more about it."

"I'll answer any question you have, ok? Just...ask whatever, I guess."

It's silent for a moment and he looks back to meet my eyes again.

"Why did you do it? Other than the obvious reasons."

"You're gonna have to be a bit more specific here...I don't know what the 'obvious' reasons are."

"Okay...well first off, when did you think about it?"

I have to think for a moment.

"About a week before I tried...I think?"

"So why did you do it?"

"I told you that."

"All you told me was when you did it and what stopped you. You never told me why."

I release a breath. "I-I don't know...I just felt like I had to do it."

"Why, Tris? Tell me why."

I really don't want to tell him about the dark thoughts running through my mind at that time. Especially the thoughts that crossed my mind after I failed.

"I don't know, okay!"

"I need to know, Tris."

His eyes bore into mine and I quickly look away.

"Why do you need to know?"

"It's been bothering me."

"But...why?"

"If it wasn't important to me I wouldn't ask."

"You're avoiding my question."

"So are you."

He stops me right there from continuing the dispute.

"Fair enough."

I stay silent. I'm not sure what to say. I know he wants me to tell him why I thought I had to do it, but the truth is, I don't remember all of my thoughts from before. When I woke up at the hospital I couldn't quite remember what I did. I remembered that I tried to kill myself and that I shouldn't be there, but I couldn't remember much from about 10 minutes before I started taking the pills to after Tori stopped me.

The doctors told me that for the amount of pills I took I'm lucky to be alive, let alone remember as much as I did. They were expecting much worse obviously. They had asked me to tell them my name, where I lived, my birthdate, etc.

They made me see a therapist twice a week for two months to see if I made any progress. It didn't help. I didn't say a word to him for the whole hour and a half session, twice a week, for two months. He eventually gave up on trying to get me to talk. Tori tried to get me to talk to him as well, but she should've known I wouldn't talk. And eventually, they both learned.

I can handle myself. I don't need someone to talk to about my...problems. I have trust issues and I know that. So there is no way in hell I would just open up to somebody like that. I'm too stubborn for it and I don't trust some random stranger with all my 'problems'. Screw that.

My thoughts are interrupted.

"Tris, c'mon. Please tell me."

"Sorry...I was thinking."

He stays silent. I'm glad. I have to think about this….I need to give him a real answer.

A couple of minutes later, I think I finally have something to tell him.

"I guess I just felt hopeless in some sorts. For days after the crash, I kept hoping that I would just wake up, you know? When I realized that it wasn't a dream, I just...shut down. I only had horrible thoughts and I couldn't focus on anything but what was crossing my mind. I eventually thought that it would be better if I was…uhh...dead, so I, umm...took matters into my own hands, I guess."

It's again silent and I refuse to look into his eyes. How are you supposed to when you've just talked about….that? I start to get a little bit short of breath. I turn to my side and scoot a little bit away from him. It's silent still. The silence is killing me. It's so loud. I have to say something. Anything, to kill this deadly silence.

"I hope that answered your question, because I don't remember anything after that."

"What do you mean, you don't remember?"

My breaths start to come back a little more evenly at the sound of our voices.

"It's fuzzy around that time period...I don't remember anything much. All I remember is Tori shouting at me to stop and hearing pills scatter across the floor. And everything after that is black."

I wait for a response. Any response. But it doesn't come. My breaths stop coming in evenly and my eyes burn. I listen for the sound of...well, I don't know. Crickets, maybe? They should be up at this time, right? Right?

Apparently not. After waiting for what seemed like hours, I still haven't heard anything. At. All.

Does Tobias hate me now? I know it's stupid of me to think this, but I can't help it. Silence is one of my worst enemies. It's so loud. It overpowers everything.

My breaths are coming in shallower. I need some water to calm me down and somewhere where I can actually get some peaceful silence. Private silence. Silence that I want to happen.

I throw the covers off of me in an instant.

"Tris, what are you doing?" I hear him shift but I don't look.

"I...just need...some...water," I manage to say in between breaths. I stumble to the bathroom and close the door quickly but gently, so it doesn't disturb our neighbors. I can think clear enough to at least know not to slam it. I lock it real quick as well.

I slump against the wall and close my eyes. It's silent only for a moment before I hear consistent knocking. I know it's not that loud, but right now it sounds like an elephant is ramming the door, over and over and over again. I open my eyes.

"Tris?"

"Just...leave me...alone for a...couple of minutes. Please."

The knocking stops but I hear him sit down against the door. Probably to make sure I wasn't going to do anything stupid.

I close my eyes again. Silence. Pure and utter silence. I let myself enjoy this peace for 10 seconds before I focus on getting my breaths even again. Once that is accomplished, I slowly open my eyes. I feel tired again now.

I sit down for another few minutes before I stand up. I go over to the sink and turn the water on. I let it get warm before I splash some on my face. It soothes me. I splash it on a few more times before turning the water off and drying my face with a towel. I look up at my reflection. Is that really my reflection though? Surely it can't be. Surely this black haired, baggy eyed, hollow faced girl can't be me.

But it is. Somehow.

I stare in the mirror for a few more seconds before I turn the water back on again. I stick my head under the sink and scrub until the last remnants of black are down the drain. I turn the water off and towel dry my hair. I brush it out quickly and look back into the mirror. This girl looks much different with the blonde hair. She almost looks like the girl I once knew. Not quite, but close.

I then remember that Tobias is still outside the door.

"Go back to bed Four. I'll be there in a minute," I say softly.

Silence follows for a couple of moments before I can hear him getting up and moving away from the door. I hear the bed creak and know he's done what I asked.

I stare at my reflection for a few more moments. One tear leaks out of my eye for unknown reasons. But it's only one tear. Then it stops.

Am I really going to let Haviland get the best of me? Again? Am I going to let it do this to me again? Am I going to let it change me into someone I'm not?

Not if I can help it.

This time, I'm going to do it right. Tris Prior is back and she's not going to let this town overpower her.

I grab my necklace and hold the heart for a few moments. The feeling that something (probably bad) is going to happen is still there, but I'm going to try and ignore it for now.

I pull away from my reflection and I sit against the wall again. I close my eyes and start to count to 10. But I start to feel myself nodding off about halfway through the count and lose track of what number I was on. The only thing keeping me awake right now are the lights. They are just bright enough to make the blackness behind my eyelids become a dark yellow.

I open my eyes and stand up. Not glancing at my reflection again, I shut the lights off in the bathroom and walk out the bathroom door. Tobias doesn't say anything so I can assume that he's either fallen back asleep or he is just waiting patiently. After watching him for a few more moments, I decide that he fell back asleep. I watch him for a couple more minutes before I silently crawl back in bed, my back towards him. I feel him shift. He must've woken up.

"You okay?" he sleepily mumbles.

"I'm fine," I whisper.

After a few moments of silence, his fingers touch my back and gently run up my spine to my hair.

I expect him to ask me what happened or why I locked myself in the bathroom, but surprisingly it isn't either of those two that he decides to talk about.

"Your hair is wet."

"Yeah...I rinsed it in the sink."

"So is it blonde?"

"Yes."

He shifts again. I hear a click and a dim light fills the space. I turn around to face him.

"Why'd you turn the lamp on?"

"It's been awhile since I've seen the real...you. I wanted to see you again," he says.

I stay quiet as he looks me over. I feel my cheeks burn and avoid his eyes. He chuckles and turns the lamp back off.

"What?" I ask.

"Most girls would kill for attention, but not you. You hate it."

"Well, I'm not 'most girls'," I reply.

"No, you're not. That's for damn sure. You're anything but that."

I stay quiet for a moment, trying to contemplate what he said.

"Is that bad?"

Even in the dark, I can see him shake his head. He tucks a piece of wet hair behind my ear.

"No. That's not bad at all."

I look back up into his eyes.

"You're different than all the rest."

He stays quiet for a moment longer. He looks like he's contemplating whether he should say something else or not. He must decide to say it because a minute later he adds on to his previous statement.

"That's what I love about you."

And I swear my heart swells up to the size of a balloon. For years, I've heard people say that their heart felt like it would swell whenever their crush/boyfriend/husband would give them a compliment and/or tell them that they loved them. I never really believed them. I always thought it was a bunch of bullshit.

Until now. Now I understand what they all meant.

I stare at him for a little longer before I scoot closer to him. I tuck my head into his chest and make myself as small as possible so I can get closer. His arms wrap around me and I close my eyes. I focus on his breathing and heartbeat. It relaxes me completely and I eventually feel myself start to nod off again. The last thing I register is the steady beating of his heart.

PLEASE READ THIS AN BELOW. (Even if you don't typically read AN's, you need to read this. Please read.)

So...yes, yes I know. I haven't updated in 2 ½ months. And I am truly sorry. I don't know how many times I said it above, but I'll keep saying it! I'm so so so sorry! My mom has been in and out of the hospital twice now for a week each time. She just got home from the hospital last night, in fact. Plus, to top it all off, school has been hectic.

So, can you see why I haven't updated? I hope so. I don't want to lose any of you. You guys mean the world to me. You always manage to bring a smile to my face with your kind and helpful reviews, favorites, and follows! And even you readers out there mean the world to me! I'm so glad I got into Fanfiction guys. You have no idea how grateful I am for this choice.

Even when I was gone for a long time, none of your reviews were pushy! They were all encouraging and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that! I can't believe I got 54 reviews! That's unbelievable guys! I left you for so long without a chapter, yet, you gave me 40 more reviews than what my goal was! I don't deserve that, but thank you so much! I can't say it enough!

Anyways! I made this chapter a pure Fourtris chapter because I felt that I hadn't been giving you guys enough lately and you definitely deserve it! I love you guys so much! Now, I can't promise anything about when I will update again, but hopefully, it will be next month sometime. Crossing my fingers!

Now I usually end my AN by setting a review goal. I'm not going to do that this chapter. You guys blew my expectations out of the water last chapter by a long shot. I don't want to set a goal because I feel that you have given me so much! I don't want to ask for any more! So I'll leave this up to you guys how many reviews I get! I want this chapter to be dedicated to you guys, and you guys only. I want you to remember this chapter as the chapter meant for you! So whether I get 0 reviews or 15 reviews, it doesn't matter to me. What matters is knowing that you guys have stuck with me this whole time. And I still can't thank you enough.

I wrote this AN out of the bottom of my heart. I don't even want to call this an AN. I'll just call it a message between me and you. You guys are absolutely amazing people. Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I log into my account and check the traffic graphs for this story. What I see each time nearly brings me to tears. Every time I see it, I'm blown away by just the numbers. All of the numbers. Favorites, follows, reviews, readers, views, everything. It's amazing to think that only a year and a half ago I started out only expecting a small handful of reviews. And I still find myself expecting it each chapter. I set my goals to what seems high to me, but each time you guys just completely blow it away. You people are the best supporters ever!:') So before I keep rambling on (because there's so much more I could say), have a good day/night!:)

Sincerely,

Aubreylovesthegames