Everything lost
"No! Let me off! Let me off!" Kanra pounded the doors with her fist. Behind her the old man grabbed at her arm, calling a name that wasn't hers. The train was getting further away from the platform. They were gone. Izaya had abandoned her just like he did the humans that bored him.
Too bad then that she wasn't one to give up. She still loved the informant despite his betrayal. The tears she had witnessed only served to give hope that Izaya felt the same. It wasn't goodbye. She only had to wait until the next stop. There she would get off and catch a train back to Ikebukuro- to her lovers.
Kanra smiled at the thought slowly standing, one hand pressed against the door. The elderly couple were trying to pull her away. "Mikado, this is for the best." But she wasn't Mikado. Sure her hair was shorter but that didn't make a difference. She was Kanra Orihara, informant. Lover of the two most dangerous in Ikebukuro.
"Son, we're going home. No one will hurt you again."
It was none of her business. "Izaya. Izaya Izaya. Izaya." The rocking of the train was making her feel sick. She couldn't wait to get off. Not long now.
"Mikado..."
x-x-x
In the small town of Saitama, there was an ordinary house. In the living room was an elderly man whistling as he read the paper, catching up on the latest news, more importantly the gangs and other dangerous elements.
In the kitchen an old woman stood in front of a stove, endlessly making meals and snacks, whistling happy with the knowledge her child wasn't dead.
In the small bedroom of the house, someone opened their eyes looking around their barren surroundings. Tired blue eyes glanced down at the empty bookshelf that sat against the wall, a closet full of clothes that wouldn't fit and a large empty space next to a plug socket.
Once upon a time, an old computer had been there. It was gone now. As was every electronic device in the house. The television- gone. House phone-gone. The last link to Izaya and anyone else in Ikebukuro- gone.
A knock on the door was the only noise. It didn't take a genius to figure out who it was. "Mikado, I made breakfast."
The blue eyed figure stared at the tray in her hand. "..." Looking slowly around the room, it was clear there was no one else around. Which meant she would be talking to them. "...I'm not hungry."
"Of course you are. It's been a stressful time for you. Eventually you'll be able to go outside. Everyone in town thinks you're dead. This will be a huge shock for them." The woman continued talking setting the tray on the floor. "I'll put this here for you. Make sure you eat, hm?"
A warm fragile hand rested against their cheek, trembling as it stroked down. "I'm so happy to have you back." The blue eyed figure did nothing, arms flopped down on the covers. The woman was sobbing again holding tightly. "Make sure you eat."
Blue eyes blinked watching the woman take a step back to gaze lovingly, before backtracking from the room. The door closed with a soft click followed by the rattling of a key in the lock. Numbly getting out of bed, pain shot through their gut. Lifting up the hem of a pyjama top, revealed a reddish area around the abdomen. Curious fingers probed at the tender skin. The old man had more strength than he let on. Enough to knock them out.
Izaya would say that it was rational for a human to want something. They do stupid things because of their needs. The old couple had come back for them. "Not for me, for you. I was happy with Izaya-nii and Shizuo."
"So was I." Izaya hadn't abandoned them. It was the old couple that had taken them prisoner. "My parents."
"Nothing to do with me." The tray of food was ignored. They were hungry but it wasn't to be trusted.
"My parents wouldn't hurt me..."
"Why does it hurt then?" Stepping from the bed, they quietly made their way over to the door testing the handle. "It's locked."
"For my protection."
"For my imprisonment." The handle rattled as they tried to open it. Tugging harder summoned the old woman from the kitchen or wherever she was.
"Mikado, is everything okay?"
"The door is locked." They responded taking a step back.
"Is it?" The key twisted, the door opening wide. "Do you need anything?"
"The toilet."
"A bath."
"Right. I'll get your things together for you." The old woman made to step into the room.
"No, that's okay. We can manage." Closing the door, they went to the closet opening the doors. "Won't these be too small?"
"They'll do for now."
"If you're sure. These are all guy clothes. You pick. Make it quick."
"These will do." A hooded white and green sweatshirt along with a pair of knee length dark green shorts.
"I suppose so."
Opening the door, the old woman was still standing there. She was smiling kindly at them holding out a fresh towel and wash cloth. "For your bath."
"Thank you." Taking the towels they waited for the woman to turn away and go back downstairs.
"It's no problem. Who were you speaking with?"
"I was talking to myself."
"Not much to do when I don't have a phone."
The woman flinched away from them. "There's no need for pointless electronics. Why don't you come down and join us after your bath?"
"Maybe." Clutching the bundle, they walked the short distance to the bathroom. "It's small."
"Yeah. My parents couldn't afford much."
"Unlike Izaya-nii." Closing the door, the lock was tugged across, the bundle falling to the floor. Over the sink was a mirror. Looking into it reflected a young man with short raven hair and striking blue eyes. "We should find a away home."
"This is my home. Well my parent's home. They thought I was dead."
"So did everyone else. Are you really going to come back to life, like nothing happened?"
"Why can't I? I'm Mikado Ryugamine."
"I'm Kanra Orihara. You're a ghost."
"I was never dead."
"You might as well have been. You couldn't be seen or no one knew you still existed."
"...My friends knew."
"Yet they accepted the new reality. Anri, Celty, Masaomi-"
"Masaomi tried to kill us. He took Shizuo away."
"Masaomi tried to kill you. He's my best friend."
"Shizuo is my lover."
"Mine too. Why are we arguing?"
"Is there anything else to do? We need to get out of here. I have a bad feeling about Izaya-nii."
"I can't leave my parents. Not now. They believed I was dead all this time. Izaya sent us away on purpose. I know he's going to do something dangerous."
"Then I should be there to help out."
"What if this is for our protection? Izaya will come and get us when it's safe. Until then, let me spend time with my parents. Kanra?" Mikado sighed turning away from the mirror when there was no answer. "Thank you. Izaya and Shizuo can both handle themselves."
x-x-x
Mikado left the bathroom feeling refreshed, the hot water had helped ease some of the kinks in his shoulders. "I'm finished with the bath." The young man told his parents.
His father smiled at him as he entered the room. "Your mother is in the kitchen." Eyeing the newspaper he watched as it was folded and stuffed down the side of the sofa.
"Right. I'll be in the bedroom if you need me." His father stood ruffling his damp hair as he passed. "Sorry about your stomach."
"I forgive you." Mikado mumbled bowing his head. "I'm sorry I pretended to be dead. Things were..."
"You don't have to explain. Orihara-san already explained everything to us. You're safe here."
"Mikado, I made your favourite." His mother smiled stepping into the room. Her eyes were wide and panicked as if she was coming to terms with his return. Mikado didn't want to think about their reactions. Which raised another question. When did his parents find out? It was obvious now that Izaya had been the one to call them. Surely he hadn't started off with something that would make his parents angry. It could've been a prank call or the informant's trolling.
What evidence had been given that his parents hadn't lost their minds or kidnapped him?
"Speak for yourself."
"Sorry?" His mother's smile faltered. Mikado blinked shaking his head.
"Nothing. I was thinking aloud." He apologised taking a seat on the small sofa. Kanra had promised not to interfere. No she hadn't. Her silence hadn't been an answer at all. As it was his gaze was staring past his mother, cataloguing everything in the room. There was no phone. Shaking his head Mikado tried to focus on his parents. It was them that deserved his attention, after everything he had put them through. "Thank you."
His mother beamed becoming teary eyed. "...you're really here."
x-x-x
"Not the smartest tool in the shed, is she?"
"She's my mother." Mikado retorted climbing into bed. His clothes had been discarded in favour for nakedness. "She thought I was dead all this time." Pulling the covers around him, the raven snuggled under the covers not concerned when there was a knock at the door.
"Mikado, goodnight."
"Goodnight." He murmured back hearing the turning of a key in the lock. He had been locked in again.
"Tch, I suppose this is their thanks for such a great tour." Kanra grumbled turning away. "Izaya-nii needs us."
"Izaya abandoned us." Mikado muttered closing his eyes.
"Shizuo didn't."
"...no, Shizuo-san didn't..." But now that they were out of Ikebukuro, Izaya wouldn't have to worry about them. Shiki would have no reason to keep the informant occupied. Masaomi wouldn't have a reason for revenge or trying to save him. "Izaya-san will have more time now." There was no answer. With a small sigh, Mikado pushed all thoughts from his mind, waiting for sleep to come. Shizuo would be fine. Just fine.
x-x-x
One day turned into two and two into four, until Mikado realised he had been back home with his parents an entire seven days. His mother and father hadn't said anything but neither had he. He had gone along with everything as his path was guided.
Day by day he could feel his body becoming lax, the small amount of muscle he had gained was slowly weakening. His sharp mind was becoming dull to the tedious day to day, inside the four walls. Kanra was dying. Mikado could feel it inside him. She spoke less using his mouth. The raven couldn't deny that he was becoming ordinary. Away from Ikebukuro he was stripped of everything that made him extraordinary.
Yet it had all started in the very house he was currently in. Tired blue eyes flickered to the wall where his computer had once been. The computer he had used to first create the Dollars. It was all gone now and Mikado couldn't hate his parents for what they had done and continued to do.
Nor could he hate Izaya for the choice his lover had made. The informant must have weighted up the options before deciding to send him away. Even now he couldn't erase the last glimpse of Izaya. The raven staring at him with tears rolling down his cheeks.
"...it could be fake." Kanra murmured for the first time that day. "Izaya-nii is a master of manipulation. Maybe he didn't love us at all."
"That's not true. You know it's not." Mikado argued quietly.
"There's one way to find out..." Kanra supplied, her voice fading away to nothing. Mikado shook his head looking up at his mother as she entered the room. Wordlessly he set the crossword book to one side.
His mother joined him on the sofa, arms wrapped around him. Staying still Mikado let her confirm his presence. Her hands trembled as she pressed them against his back. "You're here. You're really here."
"Yes, I'm here." Mikado whispered his own arms around his mother. There was no amount of apologising that could make up for what he had put his parents through. It didn't mean he wouldn't try. His parents hadn't asked but Mikado could see it in their eyes. What happened in Ikebukuro stayed in Ikebukuro. It was why Izaya had sent him away. So why hadn't he just left in the beginning? Why hadn't he escaped the bustling gang warred town for the safety of his own home town?
Mikado felt his lips twitch into a smile. It had been boring. Everyday was one more thread of normality. Dull, uninteresting and tedious. Day after day had been the same. It was Izaya that had been his red string of fate, brightening his world. It was Shizuo that had shown him what extraordinary really was.
If he had returned to normality he would have been living everyday like he had been. Most likely he would still have access to the computer. The birth of Kanra had been an awakening. For their time together he had been one of the trio. The strongest threesome in Ikebukuro.
"You're giving it all up?"
"Mikado?" His mother asked giving him a strange look. The raven smiled reassuringly convincing his mother that he wasn't going mad.
"Thinking aloud." Mikado gave the excuse resting his head on the woman's shoulder. He wasn't giving anything up. Not his parents and not Izaya or Shizuo. "Just a little longer." He promised. A little longer before he threw himself back into the fire.