'Confabulation: Noun. 1. The act of confabulating; conversation; discussion.
2. Psychiatry. A disturbance of memory, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.'
…
Spencer jumped as her cell phone started to vibrate in her pocket. Since Hanna was on a regular floor she didn't need to keep it off completely, but she had set it to the silent notification so that way it wouldn't ring and disturb anybody else on the floor. She glanced at the screen and saw that it was Emily.
"Hey" she answered in a hushed whisper as she quietly stepped out of the room.
"How's our girl doing?"
The brunette sighed heavily and frowned. "Same as before. Still out to the world" she reported, not bothering to try and hide her unease. There was a long pause on the other line and then she heard hushed voices and a shuffling noise.
"Maybe she's just waiting for her one true love to lay a kiss on those pouty lips of hers" Alison suddenly quipped. "You should give it a shot…" was added in a muttered tone, so quiet that Spencer wasn't sure she heard it correctly.
"Ali, drop it" Emily hissed reproachfully. "Um, anyway Spence, we're on our way. See you in a bit"
With that, the line went dead. Spencer blinked her confusion away and walked back to sit at Hanna's bedside. The blonde was still fast asleep, the ghost of a smile etched on her lips. Every now and then she would mumble incoherent words or let out feeble moans and contented sighs.
Spencer sat there for hours, completely enthralled by the sight. 'Must be a really nice dream' she thought.
…
It was Christmas Eve.
The Hastings had already headed out to the Country Club for their annual party, leaving their youngest daughter at home, all on her own.
Usually Hanna resented them for their poor parenting skills – she knew that Spencer suffered because of their carelessness, especially growing up. They weren't bad people or bad parents per se; they just were disbelievingly inconsiderate. Once the brunette had defined their attitude as 'benign neglect'. Not that her girlfriend would ever admit any of that: one of the things all the Hastings had in common was their stupid pride. Whenever they hurt, they did it in silence and hiding from the world. And that was something that bothered Hanna, a lot; she hated when Spencer withdrew from her and kept everything bottled up inside. Every time that happened, she felt like she had failed her girlfriend.
This time, however, was slightly different. This time it was Spencer who had come up with a pretest to stay at home a little longer, promising that she would catch up with them later, before the party would start; and Hanna could just envision the reason behind that, trembling with anticipation.
She stood at the large window in Spencer's room, absentmindedly glancing outside at the snowflakes that fell from the sky and swirled in the air. A soft smile lit up her face as she heard her girlfriend rustling through her closet and shuffling around.
"Are you alright babe?" She called out when after a loud thud the brunette swore under her breath.
"Almost" Spencer replied. "Stay put. Do. Not. Turn. Around until I say so" she warned.
"Fiiine" Hanna whined. "Try not to hurt yourself, though. You klutz" she teased fondly.
Spencer only grumbled something in response, too busy adding the finishing touches to her outfit to shoot back whatever sarcastic remark popped up in her brain to her girlfriend.
She put on a red Santa hat and straightened up her dress. "Okay, you can look now"
Hanna turned around and her jaw went slack. She couldn't believe her eyes and actually had to do a double take: there stood Spencer, hands on her hips and that damn cute smirk she so adored on her face, clad in a short sexy Santa dress with matching hat. Her legs were bare but she had on a pair of black pumps that Hanna had tried to steal from her once or twice before.
'God, she looks amazing' Hanna thought.
"Merry ho-ho" Spencer sing-sang in that low, deliciously raspy voice of hers.
It took a while, but eventually Hanna recovered from her stupor. She so not discretely licked her lips and gave the brunette a once over, effectively checking her out, and smirked.
Like a panther, she approached her prey carefully; her steps measured and deliberately slow, her hips swaying tantalizingly, until she was practically invading the brunette's personal space. Breathing the same air.
"I see how it is now…" she drawled out, her own voice dropping an octave. She slipped a hand around the taller girl's waist, pressing their bodies flush together. "Miss Hastings, are you trying to seduce me?"
"I don't know" Spencer whispered as her own hands clasped around Hanna's neck. "Is it working?"
"God, yes" Hanna breathed directly on her lips a moment before capturing them with her own.
Oh, they were so going to be late at that party.
…
"She's moaning again" Aria pointed out as she watched bewildered her friends.
One of the doctors surrounding Hanna, a redheaded woman who introduced herself as Doctor Clyde, pulled a penlight from her pocket and quickly checked the teenager's pupils. "Still dreaming. Tisdale said she was making some noise last night too?"
Mrs. Marin nodded. "Yeah. I just hope she's not in too much pain"
"Well" a nurse nearby replied, "it sounded like a happy moan to me" she couldn't help but mumble to herself as she followed the doctor outside, leaving a group of teenagers and the patient's mother in the room.
They were all so engrossed in the discussion taking place at the moment amongst each other that they failed to notice the blonde's grunts and groans of pain and discomfort, a clear signal that she was gradually regaining consciousness.
"Mom?" she attempted to call out, but her voice was too weak for them to heard. She took a deep breath and winced when a jolt of pain startled her momentarily. She felt so dizzy; the slightest of the movement caused her headache to pulse viciously and a wave of vertigo to roll over her.
"Woah" she grimaced.
That was when the others finally realized that she was awake. Her mother was the first to rush to her side, throwing her arms around her as carefully as possible, unable to contain her relief and affection.
Still enveloped in the bear-hug, Hanna glanced over her mother's shoulders and saw her three friends beaming back at her. She frowned.
"Where's Spence?" she asked in a small voice, slightly upset that the brunette was not there.
Alison scoffed. "Of course that's the first thing you can think of ask after three days of co-"
Emily cut her off elbowing her lightly on her side. "Behave" she hissed into the Rosewood's former Queen-Bee's ear.
"It's good to see you too, Han" Aria chuckled rolling her eyes at her friends' antics.
"Sorry" Hanna said, looking genuinely mortified.
"Don't sweat it" Emily replied kindly. "But Aria's right: it's really good to have you back" They grinned at each other. "Anyway, Spencer's gone to inform the doctor that you're awake. She should be back in a minute"
As if on cue, the tall brunette strolled back into the room followed by a middle-aged man in white scrubs and a nurse.
"Hey, you" Spencer greeted with a warm smile as she approached the bed, while the doctor took her chart and flipped through its pages.
Hanna immediately clasped her hand in a vice grip; she opened her mouth to say something but the doctor interrupted her.
"Good morning. I apologize for having to intrude, but I have to ask you some questions to make sure everything's okay" he suddenly spoke up, all business, clicking the pen open to take notes. "Do you remember your name?"
"Hanna Marin"
"Good" Dr. Tisdale murmured as he scribbled in the chart. "Do you know the date?"
"That depends" the blonde frowned. "How long I was out again?"
"Three days" her mother supplied.
"Then it should be December, 19th"
"Very good" he nodded again. "Who's the President?"
"…"
The doctor frowned at the lack of reply and looked up from the charts.
"Oh no, it's normal" Spencer interjected. "She wouldn't know it even without the trauma"
Hanna shot her a glare while Emily, Aria and Alison snorted loudly. Ashley Marin merely shook her head in resignation.
The man guffawed goodheartedly at this. "It's better this way. Okay, last question: do you remember what happened?"
"I… um…" the blonde closed her eyes making an effort to remember. "I was on the roof with my girlfriend. We were taking a break from decorating her house… then I think I slipped and… fell?"
"Unfortunately, that's correct" Dr. Tisdale confirmed, all the while five heads snapped around so fast it was a miracle none of them sustained a whiplash.
"Girlfriend?" Aria shrieked, fixing her glare on Spencer and Hanna. "Wait, were you holding back on us? When were you guys going to tell us? I mean, really?!" she asked disappointed.
"Wha-" Spencer stammered, completely flabbergasted. "I d-don't know what…"
"What are you talking about, Ar?" Hanna piped up, confused and a little annoyed by her short friend's outburst. "And why are you all looking at me like I suddenly grew two heads? You were the first ones to find out about us, don't you remember? Geez, and I'm supposed to be the one with the concussion". She then turned to look at Spencer, who was uncharacteristically quiet and sported a wary expression. "Tell 'em, baby"
"Uh?" the brunette was still trying to connect the dots. "Um… Tell them what, exactly?"
Doctor Tisdale looked from Hanna to Spencer and the others as he quickly realized what was going on. "Mrs. Marin, girls" he started, choosing to ignore the frown that her patient shot him; "can I speak to you in the hall?"
"Of course" Ashley replied, still trying to figure out on her own what was going on with her daughter. "Hanna, we're going to go talk to the doctor for a second, alright?"
"Fiiine" Hanna huffed petulantly. Then, pulling on Spencer's hand – that had been still clutched in her own the whole time – she brought the older girl near her and pecked her on the dimple in her chin. "And you! Hurry back, gorgeous. I lost three days' worth of your kisses" she winked.
Spencer swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and nodded dumbly, her cheeks flushed pink. Not knowing what to say at this point, or even if she was supposed to say anything at all, she gently pulled her hand away from Hanna's and made her way across the small private room to the hall. She closed the door after herself, effectively blocking the blonde from hearing the conversation that the doctor obviously wanted to have with her and the others out of the patient's earshot.
"I take it from the look on your face that you are not her girlfriend" Doctor Tisdale said, and everyone was scrutinizing her in trepidation.
Spencer squirmed under the burning stares she was for some reason receiving and chewed the corner of her lower lip, shaking her head slowly. "Nope. No, I'm not"
"So… she made up everything?"
The brunette shrugged uncomfortably. "Yeah, I s'pose…"
"Alright" Dr. Tisdale sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Well, then it would appear that Hanna may be suffering from amnesia"
"I thought amnesia was when you forgot things" Emily chimed in.
"It is" the doctor confirmed. "But, in this case, Hanna's symptom seems to be confabulation – false recollections, or false memories"
"What? How… How can we fix it?" Ashley asked, as she glanced toward the closed door to her daughter's room. She could see that her girl was now sitting up in the bed and watching them carefully through the tiny rectangular window set in the door. She smiled reassuringly at her for a moment before she turned her back to the door and forced her attention onto the doctor.
"I expect this will be a temporary condition. Hanna's scans do not show a significant amount of swelling, so I am hopeful that when what little swelling she does have goes down, this symptom will disappear"
"Do we correct her?" Spencer abruptly asked, as she also turned to glance at the blonde through the window in the door. She was relieved to see that her friend had laid back down and was no longer sitting up and watching them.
Doctor Tisdale bounced his head from side to side as he frowned thoughtfully. "It depends on how you think she'll react. Some patients get extremely nervous when their false memories are challenged. Some get upset, some…"
"So what do I do?" Spencer interrupted rather brusquely, her friends regarding her now with sympathetic and understanding eyes. She was obviously uncomfortable with this latest development, and she had all rights to be. It was a rather odd situation and she honestly had no idea about what to do. What was better to do, for Hanna's sake in the first place, but also for her own and the sake of their friendship.
"It's up to you and how you think she'll react" the man answered. "The key here is to keep her calm so that she doesn't aggravate her head injury. You know her better than we do, especially if she thinks you're her girlfriend" he snickered , but the brunette glared at him sternly, evidently not at all amused by the joke.
"Ahem" he cleared his throat. "That being said, I don't expect this little stage will last too terribly long. Keep her quiet, and hopefully the swelling will go down so that she's back to normal – memory wise – soon. For now we just have to worry about the breaks and the more typical concussion recovery issues. If she does fall asleep, she cannot sleep for longer than an hour at a time due to her concussion. You can ask a nurse to pop in every now and then to wake her up"
"We'll take care of it" Spencer asserted confidently – much to everyone's surprise.
"Like she said" Mrs. Marin sighed, the hint of a knowing smirk on her lips. "When do you think she'll be cleared for release?"
"She should be able to leave by tomorrow, provided her condition doesn't worsen overnight, that is. And if there's any problem, you know where to find me"
"Thank you for everything, doctor" the redhead smiled gratefully at him.
"My pleasure, Mrs. Marin" the man replied sincerely.
While the two adults continued to exchange pleasantries – at one point Alison was almost sure there was something going on there, after all Ashley Marin was notoriously a flirt, and had a bit of a reputation in Rosewood – the group of girls were trying to gauge Spencer's reaction to this turn of events.
"What are you going to do now, Spence?" Emily inquired quietly.
Spencer shut her eyes closed and leaned her back against the wall.
"Hey, what's going on in that big, beautiful brain of yours?" Aria asked softly, squeezing the taller girl's arm in a gesture that she hoped brought her best friend some comfort and showed her support.
"I really don't know" the tall brunette whispered. "How did things get so messed up? What am I supposed to do? I mean, I don't want to upset her and risk that this gets worse; but I don't want to lie to her, either"
"We get it, Spence" Alison said. "But let's not make a big deal out of this: Hanna thinks you guys are together. So what? Just play along for a few days, until her memory comes back. You won't be lying, not exactly; just… humoring her fantasies"
"But it's wrong!" Spencer threw her hands up frustratingly. "I mean, what if this will take longer than just a couple of days? And what happens when she'll get be back to herself, uh? She will be so embarrassed about this… I don't want things to get awkward or… or ruin our friendship"
"Aw sweetie, that will never happen" Aria assured. "You care about each other too much to let something so trivial come between the two of you. And she will understand that all you did, you did it for her sake"
"If you say so…" Spencer murmured, always the skeptical one. "Alright, I guess I'll try…" she inhaled deeply. She really didn't want to feed the delusions - both Hanna's and hers, if she was really honest with herself – but she didn't have the heart to shot her friend down completely either. "Wish me good luck"
Aria, Alison and Emily watched her turning away and making her way back into Hanna's room.
"Guys, are we sure about this?" Emily asked thoughtfully.
"Are you kidding me?" Alison scoffed incredulously. "This is exactly the occasion they needed to pull their heads out of their asses"
"Yeah, this confabulation thing will most likely work as a catalyst for them" Aria merrily added her two cents. "Hanna's memories might be false but I'm pretty sure that the emotions behind them aren't"
"Let's hope so" Emily sighed wistfully. "Quite frankly, I've had enough of them dancing around each other and never getting there"
"Yeah, it was cute for a while but now…"
"Now it's just annoying" Alison easily agreed.
The trio shared a conspiratorial laugh as they strolled down to the hospital's hall. But when they opened the door to their friend's room their laughs subsided immediately, their features morphing in matching grins.
Spencer and Hanna were in the middle of an argument; the blonde patting her bed insistently and begging for the brunette to lie down with her. She went as far as making her best puppy-dog eyes and that was Spencer's undoing.
She carefully crawled onto the unoccupied side of the bed and Hanna wasted no time to scoot closer to her.
"Good girl" she exclaimed happily, looking up at Spencer with adoring eyes. "Now hold me"
"You're high maintenance, you know that right?" the brunette groaned but complied, putting an arm around the smaller girl's shoulders and bending her head slightly to leave a soft kiss to her hair.
"Mmm, perfect" Hanna mumbled as sleep once again overtook her.
Standing on the threshold, three girls had the same thought observing the scene.
"Unbelievable" Emily muttered.
"What a pair! Two obtuse idiots" Alison continued.
"Totally" Even sweet little Aria couldn't disagree this time.
It was so obvious, what Hanna and Spencer felt for each other. Apparently, however, it had been so to everyone but them. But like they said, this could be their chance to sort everything out and found happiness; if only they knew that everyone was rooting for them.
At this point, it was up to them. They could only cross their fingers and wish for the best.
…
'The declaration of love marks the transition from chance to destiny, and that's why it is so perilous and so burdened with a kind of horrifying stage fright.' – Alain Badiou