Chapter One

I've been stuck at my grandparents' house for most of the day with nothing to do, so I decided to churn out another chapter far earlier than I usually do!

I know that this one is kind of slow, but it's mainly set up for the rest of the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

Enjoy!

Merlin dumped another armful of chain mail into a rickety basket. He really wished that he didn't have to polish it that evening, but Arthur had ordered it all sorted out by the next morning, and there'd be hell to pay if it wasn't done on time.

As if having to clean the king's chamber pot this morning wasn't bad enough…

Merlin grumbled quietly to himself. Arthur had truly been insufferable today; all during the court affairs of the morning and especially during the afternoon hours of training. As usual, he'd felt the need to make Merlin his "moving target" for spear-throwing practice.

And now Merlin had to take care of all the knights' chain mail. Well, I suppose I could use magic for some of it…

Merlin was startled from his private musings by Percival's hard (though friendly) slap on the shoulder. "Merlin! Just the man I was hoping to speak with!"

Rubbing his shoulder, Merlin grinned slightly and responded, "Hello, Percival." He eyed the hulking knight. "What do you want? Do I need to polish your boots, too?"

This seemed to confuse Percival for a moment, then he laughed. "No need for that, Merlin, I got them polished this morning. Actually," he lowered his voice, glancing briefly around the mostly empty armory, "I wanted to ask you…"

"Percival!" Elyan strode up to them. "Did you ask him?"

"Ask me what?" Merlin suppressed a chuckle at the mildly exasperated looked Percival directed at Elyan.

"I was just about to ask him, Elyan…" Percival shook his head slightly and turned back to Merlin. "You see, Merlin, Elyan and I wanted to ask you if you'd noticed anything odd about Gwaine lately?"

Merlin thought about that for a moment. To be perfectly honest, he had been so busy lately that he'd hardly noticed Gwaine or what the dark-haired knight had been doing. But thinking back on it, he realized that there was another reason for that. "He has been rather…withdrawn, I guess? Why are you asking me, anyway?"

"You knew him longer than the rest of us." Percival pointed out.

"Exactly." Elyan said. "You've been his friend for longer, so we thought maybe he'd talked to you."

"Talked to me? About what?"

"That's just it." Percival replied. "He hasn't been talking much lately. He's been, like you said, withdrawn. He doesn't make nearly as many jokes as usual…"

"And he went to the tavern only once last week, Merlin. Once. In a week. I mean, this is Gwaine we're talking about! Plus he wasn't up to par in training today or yesterday." Elyan sighed. "So I guess he hasn't spoken to you?"

"No, I've barely seen him, really." Merlin frowned; he had noticed Gwaine's difficulty in training, however. "Any idea when this weird behavior started?"

The two knights considered this. "Not really…" Percival murmured finally. "Three weeks, maybe?"

"Then perhaps he's in love." Merlin suggested, though somehow he doubted that was the case. "I wouldn't expect him to act like he has been if he was, but maybe…"

Suddenly, Elyan snapped his fingers. "I've got it." he said excitedly. "The patrol a few weeks back? When the bandits attacked us? He hasn't been the same since."

Merlin immediately recalled the incident. Arthur had decided to lead a patrol (so Merlin, naturally, had had to come along). While they were returning to Camelot, the knights had been set upon by bandits. They had been nothing but desperate thugs, really; the battle was over in a few minutes. The knights emerged victorious, and the few brigands that had not been killed had run away. A couple knights had suffered minor injuries; however Gwaine had not been one of them. In fact, the worst part of the whole incident had been the heavy rainfall. Everyone in the patrol had been soaked to the skin by the time they reached Camelot. "Gwaine was already acting sort of subdued on that patrol though, wasn't he?"

"I think that was just because he doesn't like to get wet. Who does?"

"Well, whatever happened, Gwaine hasn't been himself." Percival broke in. "I'm starting to get worried about him." Elyan murmured his agreement.

Merlin looked from one knight to the other. "Have either of you tried broaching the subject with him?"

They exchanged glances. "He keeps changing the subject." Elyan explained. "Laughing it off."

"Typical Gwaine." Percival muttered.

"So we thought…"

"That I might have better luck talking to him?" The knights nodded. Merlin took a deep breath. "All right, I'll try. And I'll tell you if I find anything out. Right now I have work to do; I really don't want to push Arthur's patience considering the mood he's in." He paused, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Do you know what Gwaine would say if he knew you two were so worried about him?"

They didn't even hesitate. "Mother hens." Percival and Elyan said at the same time.

It was nearly nightfall when Merlin finally found the time to talk with Gwaine. Between his conversation with Elyan and Percival and then, he had been partially occupied remembering the last couple weeks, reexamining what he had previously barely observed.

His conclusion was that something was undoubtedly wrong with Gwaine. The usually lighthearted knight had been acting like a shadow, not even playing pranks on other knights as he was wont to do. He'd seemed wearier, moved with less bounce in his step. Merlin couldn't believe that he'd missed these signs before. Gwaine was his friend; he should have noticed something was up right away.

The best he could do now was to try and get Gwaine to divulge what was wrong with him.

He found the knight in the stables, silently brushing his black charger with a distinctly preoccupied air.

Merlin leaned against the stall door for a minute, watching his friend. Gwaine didn't even seem to notice him. "I'm surprised you're not at the tavern." Merlin commented nonchalantly after a while.

Gwaine jumped slightly, proof that he hadn't noticed the servant before. "Merlin." he said in a tone of clearly forced lightness, his face showing only a hint of his usually careless grin. "What brings you to this dark corner of the royal stables?"

He's trying to distract me by joking around, as usual. Merlin realized that this method was actually quite effective; he'd used it himself. Mostly on Arthur. Abruptly deciding not to delay any longer (that would undoubtedly lead to more inane jokes) he asked bluntly, "What is going on with you, Gwaine?"

The knight's shoulders tensed suddenly. Merlin noted that he remained tense even as he said carelessly, "What are you talking about, Merlin?" His constant brushing of the horse's coat seemed less methodical and more nervous than before.

"You know full well what I'm talking about." When Gwaine did not respond immediately, Merlin went on, "You're withdrawn. You haven't gone to the tavern with the other knights in days. Even I noticed that your swordsmanship has suffered from whatever is ailing you; I'm sure Arthur has as well." Then, because he was still feeling a little guilty for not discerning Gwaine's odd behavior sooner, Merlin added, "Elyan and Percival told me that you've refused to talk to them."

Gwaine sighed dramatically. "So my fellow knights are discussing my change in behavior? Have they no shame, no sense of privacy?" He laughed, but it was taut, strained laughter. "Seriously, Merlin, it's nothing. I'm just having an off week; everyone does, even Arthur. As a matter of fact, I think that you should focus your concern on the Princess, he's been in such a bad mood lately…"

Merlin cut him off. "Gwaine, I know you try very hard to never take anything seriously, but please; we are your friends, and we're worried about you. Why don't you just tell me…"

"No!" It came out harsh, violent.

Merlin jumped backwards, startled, as the black horse in the stall whinnied and shied away from his master. Never, ever, had Gwaine spoken to Merlin like that.

Shouted, rather. And he wasn't finished. "For the last time Merlin, I am fine! Will you just leave me alone?"

Merlin locked gazes with Gwaine for a few long moments, before realizing that anything he said wouldn't sway the stubborn refusal in his friend's eyes. Suddenly, he broke eye contact, turned and strode out of the stables, feeling nothing short of bewildered.

What in the name of the Great Dragon is wrong with him?

Sir Gwaine didn't want to fall asleep.

He was actually very tired, the result of and afternoon spent training. Though he hadn't been at his best. Everyone had noticed.

I don't deserve to be so good that they notice when I'm not.

He was tired. He wanted to escape from his disturbing thoughts. But he didn't want to sleep.

Sleeping just brings the nightmares back.

Stupid patrol. Stupid bandits. Stupid rain. Why had it all had to happen like that? Why did it have to remind him?

I don't like the rain.

Especially the rain in his nightmares.

That rain always turned into blood.

I'll update as soon as possible! Reviews are most appreciated!