A few days had passed and the show had been very successful. Thanks to Jimmy being haled a hero by the town, people started seeing the troupe in a new light. But one member of the troupe was never really around to soak up the lime light with the rest. Beth had noticed that after every show, Toulouse, the dwarf, would sneak off to God knows where. But he always came back much happier than when he left. So she had put two and two together and figured out that he had been seeing a woman. She was happy the little guy was seeing someone, and she had hoped to meet the mystery woman one day. Until then, she'd let him have the benefit of the doubt until he was ready to tell them.
On this particular night, however, things were turned upside down. Paul and Beth were heading for the big top when they heard Jimmy screaming for help from Dell's trailer. And they weren't the only ones. Eve, with long legs, was able to run faster than every one else to get to them. Jimmy had carried Desire outside, screaming that she had needed help. Sure enough, blood was dripping from in between her legs. Poor Pepper kept screaming, "Blood!"
"We need a car. I gotta get her to a hospital!" Jimmy yelled.
Thankfully, Ethel was there to keep order. "All of you, in your places. Now!" She turned to Jimmy. "Where's Dell?"
"He's not here." Jimmy answered.
Beth ran and helped Desire stand more evenly on one side while Jimmy continued to hold up the other. They then led her to a car. Beth had opened the back door and helped Desire get in. Once she had a seatbelt on, the tattooed lady ran to the other side and got in. Ethel got the keys to the car and got in the drivers seat. "Go on and get on that stage." She told her son. "Folks are here to see ya." She then started to car and rolled down the window. "We'll handle this."
Beth rolled down her window to yell to Paul, "I'll help them. Just go on without me, okay?" She never heard the answer as Ethel suddenly high-tailed it out of there. Beth turned back to Desire and saw her hyperventilating. She was having a panic attack. "Dezzy. Look at me." She said. The hermaphrodite turned to the young lady and looked at her. "Try taking slow breaths." Desire nodded and tried to do as she was told. Soon enough, her breathing was normal and she was able to sit upright.
When they finally got to the doctor, Beth let Desire lean on her as they walked inside. The doctor had led then into the examination room and gave themprivacy to change. While Ethel helped her change into a gown, Beth was writing down Desire's information on a sheet of paper. "When were you born?"
"August 12, 1910." She answered. She pulled the collar of the gown up higher to hide her cleavage.
"What?" Ethel asked as she tied the strings in the back. "All of a sudden now your modest?"
Desire sighed. "Well, I ain't never been to no doctor before."
The doctor then knocked on the door. "Are you ready for me?"
"Just get up on the table." Ethel whispered before turning to the door. She then grabbed a sheet and draped it over Desire's lap. "Yeah, she'd ready."
The doctor walked in and Ethel and Beth going to head to the lobby. "Wait!" Desire exclaimed. ""You two leaving?"
Beth and Ethel realized that they should stay. they closed the door and walked back to their friend's side. "We'll stay if ya like." Ethel said.
"Vaginal bleeding." The doctor read aloud from the form Beth had filled out. "Do you have regular menses?"
Desire was confused by the medical term. But Beth knew what he was talking about. "Do you bleed once a month, Dezzy?"
She scoffed at the thought. "Once a month? Oh, God, no. Maybe a couple times a year. But this isn't that. Tonight I was fooling around with Jimmy. Lobster Boy. I think he pierced a hole right through me."
"Let's take a look, shall we?" The doctor asked.
Desire slightly panicked, but Ethel settled her fears. "It's okay. He's gonna take a look. Lie down." She did as asked of her. "Let the man take a look at you." Though she was still shaken up, Desire did everything she could to keep calm. Once her legs were in the stirrups, the doctor went in. She gasped loudly and all but crushed Beth's hand with her iron grip. "Just try to relax your belly." Ethel said in a calm voice.
"Where were you born?" The doctor asked while examining her.
"Philadelphia. The midwife smacked me on my ass and said, 'Congratulations, Mary, you finally got you a boy.' My mother was over the moon." Desire explained as her grip loosened. "She named me Derek, after her father, who was a baseball player. Thought maybe I'd follow in his footsteps." She let out a sigh and shook her head slowly. "But that all changed when I turned twelve and started growing these." She said as she placed her left hand over her chest.
"Well..." The doctor said as he finished his examination.
Desire let goof Beth and sat upright. "Okay, Doc. Don't sugarcoat it."
"Well, the midwife was wrong. You're not a boy, you never were." He explained. "You probably have an excess of testosterone. Your body got confused and produced more estrogen to compensate, which may account for your accessory breast."
"What about my ding-a-ling?" Desire asked bluntly.
"Um, that is not a penis. That is an enlarged clitoris, which I can surgically reduce if it bothers you." He said. "But either way, physically and genetically, you are one hundred percent woman." Desire looked as though she had come to a realization and was now in deep thought. "Now, the bleeding that you experienced, that was a miscarriage, and I'm sorry to say that it was about twelve weeks. Now, there was no sign of injury, but the baby was just not viable."
Desire seemed to come out of a trance at the mention of that. "The baby?"
"If you wait a few months, you and your husband can try again. But now I must be blunt. At your age, I wouldn't wait too long." The doctor explained.
After a few seconds, Desire's only words were, "I could have a baby with Dell." The look on Ethel's face was not an encouraging one. But the thought of a baby suddenly scared Beth. She and Paul were not being careful when they were intimate. Could she possibly be pregnant?
The doctor got up and went to his office, Beth followed him. "May I set up an appointment?" She asked.
"Certainly. What for?" He asked.
"I'd like to know if I'm pregnant." She answered.
Once they got back to the camp, the show was long over. Beth helped Desire back to her trailer. "Come get me if you need anything." She told her. She the left for her own. When she walked in, she saw Paul sitting on the couch with a glass of whiskey. "What happened?"
Paul sighed. "Elsa bombed." He took a swig of his whiskey before putting his glass on the table. "The crowd was completely evil."
"Oh no." Beth groaned. She walked over and sat next to him. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Paul, I have a doctor's appointment next week and I want you to come with me."
"Why? Is Desire's condition contagious?" He asked.
"No. But, this does involve you, as well. If the result I get back is positive, you need to be there with me." She explained.
"Well, what could you possibly have?" He asked.
"Paul, what if I'm pregnant?" She finally asked. The look on his face would normally make her laugh. But circumstances forbid her from feeling a sense of humor. "I mean, we haven't exactly been careful."
He sighed. "No, we haven't." He then heard her start to sniffle and looked up to see a few tears roll down her cheeks. He scooted closer and pulled her to him. "Hey, hey, what's this?"
"What if I am pregnant?" She asked.
"Well, would it really be so bad to have a baby?" He asked.
"Paul, we just started this relationship. How can we have a baby so soon?" She stressed. He let out a sigh before reaching for his glass, but Beth pushed away from his reach. "Paul, I do love you. But I can't be a mother."
"Why?!" He suddenly snapped. "Why can't you? Didn't you think that maybe I wanted to be a father?"
"You're not the one who will have to bear it. I am! For nine long, agonizing months, my stomach will grow huge and I won't be able to perform onstage! But you, you'll be able to play those drums and show everyone what makes you different!"
"Oh, get off it, Beth! You're only thinking about yourself!" Paul yelled.
Beth was shocked. She then silently stood up and walked to the door. But before leaving, she turned to Paul. "You've met my father. You know I come from a wealthy home. I left that to come here." She opened the door and said, "I left what normal people would call a dream life, Paul. And my memories with my own mother were never pleasant, so I have no idea on how to even be one. I finally have my own life. And you want me to use it to raise another? Talk about being selfish." She then walked out and slammed the door in anger. Paul sat on the couch in a slightly drunken stupor, not sure how to react to what had just occurred.
Beth made her way to Meep's trailer, knowing that he would let her stay with him. Along the way, she thought about how it would be nice to be a mother, but there was sound reason as to why she couldn't have children. Slowed her pace to look down at her stomach. There was a spot, just above her right hip where the skin was sunken in just slightly. No one would be able see it because of he tattoo that covered it, but it was no longer than two inches and was pencil thin.
She remembered very clearly when mother tried to kill her in her sleep while her father was away on a business trip. She was fifteen and sound asleep after she and her mother had yet another argument. She left her mother down stairs to her bitter thoughts. Once she was asleep, Clarissa quietly entered the room with a butchers knife she got from the kitchen and was prepared to use it. For a few moments, she stood next the bed, looking down a her daughter. After taking a breath, she said, "No longer will you defy your mother." She then raised the knife and plunged it into her daughter's stomach.
Beth screamed at the pain. When she saw her mother next to her holding what it was that was hurting her, her eyes widened. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. suddenly, they heard a car horn in the front yard. "DADDY!" She screamed. But Clarissa covered her mouth and told her to shut up. She then pulled the knife out and ran out of the room. She screamed in pain before passing out.
When Beth woke up, she was in a hospital bed. In her groggy state, she looked around the room and saw her father asleep in the chair next to her bed. After a few seconds, she called to him. Marcus woke up and quickly went to his daughter's side crying his eyes out. It was later on that Beth found out her mother lied to her father, claiming that a burglar came into the house and stabbed Beth because she saw him in her room. She couldn't tell anyone any different because Clarissa threatened to kill Marcus, should she tell anyone what really happened.
For many months, Beth went to therapy and doctor offices. None of them helped her emotionally. But the worst blow was during a regular visit to change her bandages, the doctor came in with grim news. "Beth, I'm sorry. The damage is far to severe. If you were to ever have children, it would kill you."
Beth began crying, not knowing what to say except, "Why?"
"The knife pierced your uterus and damaged it. Not enough for us to remove it, but enough to make childbirth extremely difficult. You must never become pregnant."
Those words echoed in her mind. For so long, she never even thought of sex with anyone. Then Paul comes around and flipped her world upside down.
The next morning, Beth walked out of Meep's trailer to go eat breakfast. She noticed Paul wasn't up yet. She knew she had to tell him. But when she found him, he avoided her gaze and kept his head low. She walked up to him but stopped when she smelled perfume around him. And not just any perfume. It was Elsa's. She knew it was Elsa's because she could smell it on the woman every time she walked by.
Paul looked up and saw the heartbreak. He witnessed the tears and felt even worse. He had gone to Elsa after he finished the whole bottle of whiskey. One thing led to another. And the next thing he knew, he woke up next to a sleeping Elsa instead of his beloved Beth.
She turned and ran back to the trailer in a sobbing mess. She burst in and grabbed everything that was hers, having the intension of moving in with someone else, but she stopped when she saw the empty whiskey bottle. It was over half full before she left for Meep's trailer. She sat down on the couch and started sobbing even harder. She heard the door open and saw Paul come in.
The moment he saw her crying, his heart shattered. "I'm sorry." He said.
Beth sniffled a little bit before holding up the bottle. "Yeah, well, so am I." She then put it back on the table. "Sit down." He did and didn't say a word as he let her talk. "It's not that I don't want children, Paul. I do, someday. But, I can't."
"Why? Why can't you have children?" He asked softly.
Beth stood take her shorts off. She then lifted her shirt over her head. Beth then turned and took Paul's closest hand in her own and held it to her right hip. "Do you feel it?" She asked as she ran his fingers over her scar. He nodded and she continued. "Ten years ago, when I was just fifteen, my mother stabbed me." Paul immediately looked up at her face. "She told my father and everyone else that a burglar tried to kill me after I saw him in my room. The damage to my womb was very bad. If I were pregnant, Paul, childbirth would kill me."
"I'm so sorry, love. If I had known-"
"But you didn't...because I never told you." She then sat next to Paul. "Was it your intent to sleep with Elsa?"
"No. I went to go get more whiskey. She had been smoking her stash and I was so piss drunk that it just happened." He then pulled her close. "I'd take it back if I could."
"No need. I forgive you if you forgive me." She said.
Paul couldn't help but chuckle. "We're like a couple of love sick teenagers." He then sighed. "You make me feel like when I was young. Before life stole my innocence." Beth smiled and cuddled closer to him, wanting to be wrapped in his warmth. Paul then asked, "What's your favorite perfume, love?"
She thought it was an odd question, but answered. "One that my grandmother gave me when I was younger. I think it was 'Venetian Romance' if I remember correctly."
"Now I know what to get you for Christmas." He sighed.
"You don't have to get me anything, Paul. Just being with you is perfect." Beth said before pulling herself closer to him.
Two days had passed and a lot had happened. The twins up and left, Toulouse was more absent, and Elsa's birthday week was coming up. For her gift, Beth had drawn a picture of a poster. It had Elsa standing in a spotlight wearing her blue suit and above her were what were supposed to be flashing lights that read "The Elsa Mars Hour". Ever sense that Richard guy came, Elsa had been more into becoming a television star. So, Beth decided to draw what she thought could be an advertising poster for her show. Even though Elsa slept with Paul, she forgave her. Though Elsa wasn't really acting as though she were at fault with anything.
Another thing that had happened was that Clarissa returned from Orlando and dragged Mildred with her. And, of course, the rumors were starting the moment she arrived. Beth had gone to the store that day and noticed people trying to avoid her. She then went to the drug store to buy some makeup for the show, but the store clerk refused to help her. "I don't serve your kind."
"My kind?"
"Someone who whores herself out to those freaks." He blatantly stated while there other customers close enough to hear.
Beth left in tears. She had never been so insulted. And she knew exactly how it all started. She marched to her parents home and banged on the door. Her father answered and saw the anger so clearly written on her face. "Where is she?" She demanded.
"I don't-"
"You know where she is, Daddy." Beth said.
With a sigh, he stepped aside. The backyard." He answered. "What happened?"
"Everyone in town is calling me a whore!" She seethed as she walked to the backyard. Sure enough, there they were. Clarissa and Mildred were sitting together under the parasol, drinking tea and chatting. Beth marched right up behind Mildred, grabbed her by her hair and flung her to the ground, making both her and her chair fall backwards to the ground.
"Oh, my God!" Clarissa screamed.
Beth then knelt down next to her aunt and grabbed her hair again, lifting her head up to have her look at her. "Not even here for a day and you spread rumors!" Beth growled.
"She told nothing that wasn't true!" Clarissa said.
"Spare me, Mother!" She yelled behind her. "You and this bitch only ever lie to gain attention." She then let her aunt go and stood to face her mother. "And what's funny is that I use to believe that she was the worse one. But thinking back, Gran was right. You're the one she should have drowned."
"What are you talking about, Beth?" Marcus asked.
"You ever wonder why Mother never went to see me in the hospital when I was stabbed. Ever wonder why when I would cry from the pain that she'd never comfort me? She's the one who stabbed me!" Beth screamed while pointing at her mother.
"N-no." Marcus said in a stutter. "She's the one who called the police."
"And I'm sure she wasn't crying when they interviewed her, right? And I'm sure she just fawned over the attention she was receiving. Face it, Daddy. You married a sociopath and got another as a sister-in-law."
"Now, see here!" Mildred said as she finally stood up.
"No, you see here, Mildred. Gran made sure you two never got in her will for a reason. And I'll be damned if I let you ruin my reputation just because your sad, pathetic life is so boring that you need to find entertainment in hurting others. To put simple enough for even you to understand, if you mess with me or any of my friends, in any way, shape or form, I will hold you down and tattoo your whole body myself."
"You-you-you can't treat family like this!" Clarissa yelled.
"Last I checked, Gran banished Mildred from our family and said she do the same to you if you ever associated yourself with her again. And guess who's coming over next week?" Beth asked cheekily.
Clarissa reached for Marcus, wanting the only support she thought she could get. But he pulled himself away and growled, "I want a divorce. I'm making sure Peter handles all of this. And you have until the end of the day to get your things and leave."
The younger of the two sisters suddenly burst into tears. Her perfect life was now in shambles.
Marcus was all but glad to find a reason to leave his retched wife, but he never wanted it to be at the expense of his daughter. He offered to drive his daughter home and she accepted. Once they got to the camp, she thanked her father and left. The past few days had been Hell. All she could hope for were better days ahead.