Louise Belcher the Smart Mark (Chapter 4: Katie Vick)
"You know, WWE has done a lot of stupid things over the years. Such as giving a World title push to the Great Khali, exploiting Eddie Guerrero's death, turning Road Warrior Hawk's real life problems into storylines, and so on. Those will all get their own review at some point, but we're going to discuss something worse than any of those. And that is the Katie Vick storyline," Louise told us as she got a serious look on her face.
"The Katie Vick storyline came at the beginning of Triple H's run as World Heavyweight Champion from 2002-2005. That of course is known to fans as the 'Reign of Terror'. So, this was a feud between Triple H and Kane. After Triple H defeated RVD to retain the World title, he immediately started a feud with Intercontinental champion, Kane. That alone was big. Having two champions fighting for both title was amazing on it's own, but it went to shit pretty quickly," Louise said ad she took a deep breath, preparing for what she was going to talk about.
"Triple H, during a promo, called Kane a 'murderer' for the death of someone named 'Katie Vick'," Louise explained, while rubbing her temples, as if she had a headache. "Apparently, Kane met this woman at wrestling school, and killed her in a drunk driving accident. OK, bullshit. Paul Bearer said nothing about Kane going to school, having a car, or having friends. His story was that Kane was basically a loner due to both physical and psychological scars. So, this whole feud is already a giant fucking plothole," Louise complained while rubbing her temples harder.
"Then, we got, one of the worst things I've ever seen on not only WWE, but any wrestling broadcast. During an interview with Jonathan Coachman, Triple H said he had evidence of Kane being a 'sick freak'. So, he shows a video, with him in a Kane mask. He goes into a funeral home, and sees what looks like Katie Vick's body," Louise said as she paused for a second. "I'm sorry, this is just… really hard to talk about without feeling sick to your stomach," Louise said as she looked like she was straining herself to continue.
"So, Triple H proceeds to take all his clothes off, and get inside the casket. He then pretends to have SEX with the CORPSE. Let me repeat that for those with a functioning brain; HE FAKED HAVING SEX WITH A FAKE CORPSE JUST TO GET BACK AT THIS GUY GOING AFTER HIS TITLE! After the 'sex', Triple H then gets a fake brain in his hand, and says that he 'screwed her brains out'. You know, the first time I watched this, I threw up in the trash can. I mean, this was just revolting on so many levels. After the video, Triple H just laughs like he was watching Impractical Jokers and calls Kane a 'sick freak' again before leaving. That is the future owner of the WWE right there, people!" Louise said, while trying to stop yelling.
"After this lovely little promo, the Hurricane decided to avenge Kane by making a fake video of Triple H getting an enema. A FUCKING ENEMA!" Louise screamed before regaining her composure. "This storyline was hated by so many fans, that WWE quickly scrapped it, and just went along with the Title vs. Title match without the Katie Vick stuff, which Triple H won," Louise said.
"You know, we're just about done here. This was a hard one to review. Not only is it one of the most offensive and revolting storylines ever conceived, this story really killed the mystique of Kane's character. Giving him this new background was stupid, and it was really unnecessary. I'm just glad that this storyline was never heard from again,"Louise said as she breathed a sigh of relief. "With that being said, I will be tackling another hard one next time; the exploitation of the death of Eddie Guerrero," Louise said as her camera faded to black.