Chapter 32

Estella threw herself on the bed the moment she entered her room, her stiff shoulders slackened as she sank into it with a weary sigh, as though the bed had the ability to absorb their tension. A groan escaped her mouth as she rolled onto her back, gazing at the ceiling through half-lidded eyes. It was already ten, and she has reached her limit, like how she would always end up by this hour of each day. However, she was especially more exhausted tonight compared to the other nights.

The awkward skittishness between Ciel and her just seemed to have intensified after their strange encounter, and it has made today more exhausting than ever. She found her mind wandering off into turmoil several times after it. She could still remember that confused look on poor Finny's face when she suddenly let out a string of swearing words in the midst of gardening.

Thankfully, she did not catch any glimpse of Ciel after the encounter. However, the relief she was feeling sank quickly at the inevitability of needing to face him again the moment the next morning comes.

Stifling a yawn, Estella let her gaze wander over to the clock and caught sight of the time. Pushing today's events and her frustration aside, she climbed off her bed with a sigh and marched toward the bathroom with a great desire to wash the fatigue off her body.

…..

The glare of the sun peeking through the drapes hit her face, and she turned away almost immediately at the intrusion. Fuzzy vision greeted the moment she opened her eyes, as soon as she was out of her sleepy state, she realized that they were going to head out for an investigation this evening. That knowledge set her groaning as a feeling of dread settled heavily on her chest.

This means I have to stick with Phantomhive. Noooo, why did THAT happen to me? Estella threw the covers aside and scrambled out of the bed with a frustrated scowl.

Estella entered the bathroom and twisted the tap at the sink. Sticking a hand under the running water, she splashed the water at her face and quickly wiped the dripping water off her face with a towel.

Flashing her teeth stupidly at her reflection, Estella narrowed her eyes curiously at the two slightly pointed teeth which had disrupted the straight set of teeth that she was secretly proud of. Poking one, she winced at the small prick it gave her. Scowling at the two teeth, she shrugged and splashed water at her face the second time, quickly wiping the water off with the towel.

She sighed at an unpleasant thought, tossing the towel into the laundry basket.

Yesterday's incident was uncalled for.

...

Estella has always loved walking out of her room to a morning like this. To be greeted by a breeze of cool fresh morning air the moment she leaves her room was the best start to a day.

The walk down the empty hallways had managed to take her mind off the frustrations she was venting in her room. Estella took another whiff of fresh morning air that filled the hallways. Someone was thoughtful enough to let the morning fresh air into the stifling hallways, that someone must be either Sebastian or Tanaka, she noted as she made a turn into a corner and made her way down the staircase.

"BARD! STOP, I'M STILL HERE!" Finny's shout came from the kitchen just as she reached the foot of the stairs.

Estella tilted her head curiously as she slowly approached the kitchen, wondering what the ruckus was about this time. Before she could even reach her first guess, a loud explosion sounded from the kitchen. Raising an eyebrow at the black fumes that were drifting out of the kitchen, comprehension dawned onto her face and she sighed before jogging to the kitchen.

"Finny! Bard!" Estella skidded to a stop at the door and squinted, trying to catch a glimpse of the two servants. She spluttered uncontrollably, feeling her nose tingle at the intrusion as she groped her way through the fumes into the kitchen.

Finny who sat sprawled on the floor was the first of the two she spotted when she got through. Estella gaped at a scene around the boy, an eyebrow twitching incredulously at the aftermath of the explosion. The floor, walls and the ceiling looked almost black. "What the…" Her eyes widened, horrified at what she saw next. The table where she was planning to have her breakfast was now just a heap of charred wood on the floor.

"Bard," Finny struggled to keep his coughs under control. "…didn't I told you to do that only after I'm out of here?" Her attention went back to the Finny and Estella grimaced at his state. His hair was stuck out in all directions and slightly singed, and his skin and clothes were a little charred.

Estella glanced up to locate the said chef and a grimace dawned onto her face once again the moment she had. Bard looked even worse and she couldn't help but smirked amusingly at him. The afro that sat on his head had led her to ponder how an explosion could possibly turn someone's hair into an afro. That afro and his skin looked charred, and the explosion had somehow managed to shred his clothes.

Bard sniffled, rubbing his irritated eyes. None of them have noticed her yet. "Well, this is my chance to show Sebastian who's the cook here! He is always doing my job and always gets all the praises!"

Still not making her presence known, Estella gave a cursory glance at the scene around her. It took her less than a second for her brain to assimilate the situation. Oh, she knew this too well, as she herself had experienced this first-hand not too long ago.

Scowling disapprovingly at her quick realization, the redhead girl could not bring herself but to cluck her tongue in annoyance and slap her forehead in frustration. "Bard! Who the hell cooks using a dynamite?!"

Two of them whipped their attention to her in surprise. "Este-"

"My my, what have you done again, Bard?" Estella jumped and spun around to the deep voice to see Sebastian standing by the door behind her. Annoyance was evident in his tone and face.

"Sebastian!" The three servants cried out in unison.

With a frown marred on his face, Sebastian sighed and pursed his lips, silently pondering in annoyance and amusement about these servants' ability to give a demon hypertension.

Sebastian heaved another sigh. "I'll fix this. Get out of here, you three." He stepped away from the door purposefully. "Now."

Estella raised an eyebrow at the butler who stared at them with calculated patience. "Fix? How? The kitchen is beyond…" Her eyes suddenly widened a fraction and her mouth snapped close. Without another word, she frowned a little at Sebastian and obediently walked out of the kitchen, beckoning Finny and Bard to follow with the jut of her chin.

Her mouth was set in a grim line.

Of course, Sebastian was a demon. Demons could do anything.

….

Ciel caught sight of the time and sighed the third time. He knew he was being silly, wishing that checking the time again and again will change the fact that it was time for them to head out for investigation.

So much for being careful! The boy cursed under his breath, rubbing a hand down his face as he stared back at his reflection, feeling dread settling heavily down on his chest. Why did that happen with Blancbaston yesterday?

He'd just made a decision to be more careful the day after they returned from the case, so that things between them wouldn't become worse. He couldn't quite place a finger on it but what he knew was that there was something more than just a master-servant relationship, teetering on their professional line. Whatever it was–

"Young Master," Sebastian's voice from the door pricked into his thoughts, bringing him out of his trance, "The carriage is ready."

"We're leaving now," Ciel hesitated. "And make sure Blancbaston knows this."

"Yes, my lord."

Ciel returned his attention to his reflection to see himself clad in a white button-down shirt which was loosely tucked into his black knee-length pants – an image of a civilian like what he hoped for.

A satisfied slanted smile curved his lips as he readjusted the white eye patch tied around his head and shifted his attention to the darkening sky outside.

"This better be good."

Giving his reflection a cursory look, Ciel darted off to grab the black cloak which was perched on the clothes rack and exited the room.

….

Even though it has been clearly stated in his pocket watch that it was still evening, the sun was out of sight and the moon was already up in the sky. The streets their carriage trudged along were lonely and empty. Winter which had London firmly held in its chilling grip was the nudge that made the civilians decide to return to their warm homes earlier, maybe except for the workaholics and drunk ones who were mumbling incoherently or slumbering the day away on the pavement and in the alleys.

Ciel silently closed his watch and slid it into his pocket, glancing over from the side of his eye at Estella who paid no mind to him or made no move to start up a conversation like she always did.

If she was not intending to, he was going to initiate it. After all, forgetting and acting like nothing happened between them was what he planned to do to make sure that their professional relationship could maintain neutral and stable as it was or at least, get rid of the tension threatening it.

Ciel cleared his throat softly. "Blancbaston…" Ice blue eyes slowly moved over to him, meeting his gaze nervously. Blinking at the expecting look on her face, he went rigid when he realized that he did not what to say. Silence stretched between them as Ciel silently scolded himself for not thinking thoroughly on how he should initiate a conversation with her before speaking. Frustration can be seen in the way his jaw clenched.

"…What is it, Phantomhive?" Estella couldn't help but be drawn by the slight jump of the muscle there when he did that.

Startled, Ciel's eye shot over to her. His mind which was in the midst of forming a sentence until she spoke suddenly went blank. All he could do was stare at her with his mouth opening and closing with the attempt to produce the words that was forming in his head before he was interrupted, only to have nothing coming out. Ciel frowned and snapped his mouth closed, jaw clenching in frustration once again when he realized that he must have had looked stupid, resembling a fish out of water.

He coughed lightly in embarrassment. "Oh…erm. Hold on a sec, I'd forgotten what I'd wanted to say…"

Ciel tilted his head slightly towards the window and went silent.

"…Okay."

Her eyes stayed fixed on his profile and she watched him curiously, somehow forgetting to be daunted by the awkwardness and tension they had been between them at the moment. The Phantomhive boy who was absorbed with his thoughts didn't seem to notice her scrutinizing stare. It was the first time she'd had took a chance to take in a detailed look at him so she took the advantage to study him thoroughly.

Her mouth dropped opened a fraction. She was surprised by his remarkable resemblance to his father. The Phantomhive genes were sure strong, from what she'd seen in the photos she'd found in the storerooms back in the manor. She shifted slightly in her seat to get more comfortable as she thought back to the younger portrait of the boy which hung in clear view on the top of the stairs.

She continued to study him, careful not to make her action too obvious which was not necessary since Ciel's attention was somewhere else.

He was no less attractive than his father. He had matured fairly well from the previous years, she observed with a blush. She thought that Ciel had developed well into an attractive teenager, almost to a man – if she was perfectly honest with herself. His features were more masculine, his jawline was stronger, his eyes narrower and shaped more like an adult's than a child's which they were in the portrait. Dark blue which colored his irises were distinctly not inherited from his father, from his mother, she assumed.

Estella leaned in closer to study his dark blue eye when it swung over to her, delighted to see it in full view. She stared in awe when she got a clearer view of his eye– it has a pretty shade of blue, close to sapphire.

What had started as a factual observation slipped into realization when she noticed the clouding puzzlement in his visible eye. She blinked and tilted her head curiously, pulling out of her thoughts only to find herself looking at Ciel who was staring back at her with a puzzled look.

"What…" An eyebrow arched at her. "…were you doing?"

"I…" She felt her cheeks warm. "…was waiting for you to recall what you were about to say earlier. So have you?" Estella quickly covered up her embarrassment with an impatient scowl, crossing her arms as though in attempt to get her impatience across.

Ciel continued to stare at her with the raised eyebrow for a brief moment and sighed softly with sort of bitterness passing over his features. "About what happened that night…" Ciel Phantomhive was someone who doesn't apologize easily, but somehow the impulse to do so was strong this time. The bitterness of the guilt and regret from that night had never left him.

He tilted his face away when he started to feel discomfort with her staring intently at his face. "I…I didn't know what I was thinking when I ordered Sebastian to kill you. It wasn't intentional. I wasn't thinking straight that night. I will never let you…" His talking faltered when he realized what was about to come out from his mouth, and feigned a cough before he continued. "And…as your master and an individual, I personally feel that I should apologize. I'm…I'm sorry."

Ciel exhaled a deep and profoundly sigh, somewhat feeling lighter after he had finished. He did not turn back to Estella to see her response to his apology immediately, still feeling strange about what he did.

"I don't blame you for that." He snapped his head over to Estella in surprise to see a small smile curving her lips. "You were not yourself that night. I know something which Doctor did must have made you snap like that." She ceased her talk and ran her gaze over his face for a moment as in trying to grasp a sort of understanding. When she'd finally got what she was searching, she started again hesitantly. "Did…Did the actions of Doctor remind you of your time in the cult?"

The way his eye darkened the moment she asked that question told her that she had stepped into another out-of-bound topic. The atmosphere in the carriage seemed have shifted to something less comfortable than a few minutes ago, along with his mood.

When Ciel finally spoke, his tone was slightly different from before. Emotionally guarded. Emptier. Darker.

"It was the same, like the ones I'd witnessed with my own eyes. Everything there was the exactly same. The whole set-up was like the exact copy of that day, even the temperature of the room. The only things that were different were the people there and… time."

"You've got that right. The people in the room and time are different." Estella discerned. "I mean, don't worry, you are absolutely safe from the past or Doctor with Sebastian and me around. I promise you, as your bodyguard and coming from someone who had the similar experience, I'll never let anyone drag you back to those days again." A slanted determined smile curved her lips. "Never."

He gave a faint, humorless smile. "Thanks."

"No problem."

They regarded each other in a long silence, somehow feeling far more comfortable with each other than hours before – the awkwardness and tension between them were somewhat lessened, much to Ciel's delight.

….

The sky was dark and cloudy when they reached their first destination. The first drop of snow landed on his nose as Ciel studied the map he brought along for the investigation, sending shivers down his spine.

He clucked his tongue in annoyance, rubbing the chill off his nose. "Snow? Now?" He turned to the carriage where Sebastian and Estella hovered around and raised an eyebrow, waiting for their cue to start investigating.

"I guess." Estella shrugged while Sebastian tilted his head towards the sky.

Ciel sighed and returned to the map where their three destinations were circled with red. He did a rough estimation of the duration of their visits to each destination and scowled at the realization of the insufficient time he'd in his hands. His eye darted about the map, taking in the distance between the destinations, and felt dread settling in the pit of his stomach when he realized that the locations were quite dispersed.

He sighed.

His eyebrows furrowed in concentration, folding the map and tucking it into his pocket. This assignment was much more troublesome than he thought. Unless…

"Sebastian," The said butler glanced over, "Head over to the two other crime scenes and investigate over there. I'll be investigating this place with Blancbaston, so meet us back here at nine sharp."

Sebastian looked surprised for a moment, but bowed to Ciel before disappearing into thin air.

Ciel turned to his investigation partner to see her blinking at the empty spot a few feet away from her – surprise was still evident on her face when she returned his attention. "I don't think I can ever get used to Sebastian disappearing and appearing from thin air. It's just so…unnatural." She smiled thinly. "I guess that's a demon for you."

A small smirk of agreement curved his lips. She reminded him of himself when he met Sebastian the very first time, like how he was surprised by how unnaturally fast and efficient Sebastian could be, even when he clearly knew what Sebastian was.

His smirk quickly faltered. "Now that you know what he is, you shouldn't use that word so carelessly." Ciel said flatly.

"I'll keep that in mind." She nodded solemnly.

"Alright, let's go."