Three's a crowd

Mikado had undoubtedly lost his mind. It was to be expected after everything he had been through. At least that's what he reasoned. Kanra was no help whatsoever and wouldn't be for a while. He hoped it was only a while. Mikado had come to enjoy the company inside his head. It made things less lonely. That still didn't account for his hallucinations. Must be guilt. Why else would he be seeing Izaya skip around his apartment like he owned it? The man had fallen. He had been the one to push him off the top of that building just like his ex lover had coaxed so many before.

Mikado had stopped screaming after Celty had subdued him with her shadows. Moments after Shinra had come through the door complaining that he was the doctor. At least that's what he thought had happened. It was a whirlwind of bandages, shadows and demands.

Now that time seemed to slow the teen looked around observing what was happening. He was on the floor handcuffed to the bed frame. One silver bracelet locked around his wrist and the other his ankle. Mikado didn't feel the need to pull at his restraints. They were secure.

Shizuo, his husband was laying still on the bed looking like a corpse. Another body to add to the growing count. Mikado felt a cruel bitter smile tug at his mouth. He was well on his way to becoming yakuza. At the door he could hear a rush of voices. Two. Both male. Mikado cocked his head trying to listen in. It sounded like Izaya but that was impossible. The other one was definitely the doctor. Maybe the other voice belonged to Celty. He had never heard her speak.

Whatever was said he couldn't make sense of. He heard the door slam and then Izaya breezed back into the room standing in front of him. The informant stared down at him a range of emotions flickering in his eyes. Mikado stared back feeling guilt sucker punch him in the gut. He felt empty without Kanra. The extraordinary part of his personality had a name. Mikado knew that now that she was gone, cloaked in a thick haze meant to numb him.

Things hadn't been as they first seemed. Maybe if he hadn't acted like a petulant child on a revenge spree things would have turned out different. Izaya wasn't saying anything. Maybe he couldn't. At that thought it became more imperative he should say something.

"...hi." The teen murmured. As far as greetings went it wasn't terrible. Ordinary, boring, safe.

"Hi." Izaya answered back sounding as empty as he thought.

Mikado nodded trying to shape his words. "I-I'm sorry I killed you."

"Why?"

Instead of answering, Mikado voiced his own question, awkwardly drawing his knees to his chest. "Was it true? Shizuo...told me."

"Ah. Of course he did. What exactly did he say?"

Mikado choked on pained laughter. What hadn't his husband said? "He told me it was all his fault. He and Kasuka-san arranged everything. They forced you to abandon me. I killed you for nothing."

"You didn't." Izaya sighed crouching down to his eye level. "A valiant effort though. If you wanted to join in the rough play, you could have just asked."

Mikado let his gaze flicker doubtfully over his ex. Izaya was on his knees shuffling forward to place a hand on his cheek. Warm. It was warm. Tears sprang to his eyes brushed away before they could fall.

"H-how?" Mikado trembled.

"It looks like we have a lot to discuss." Izaya sighed looking between him and the bed. "First things first."

Mikado froze watching Izaya loom over him like an expectant wraith. A bubble of warmth washed around his shoulder taking him long pain filled moments to realise Izaya was hugging him. Small tremors rocked the informant stunning him into silence.

This wasn't the cruelty of being coldly abandoned. Mikado desperately sucked in cold aching breaths struggling to breathe. He had made a mistake. They had made a mistake. Awkwardly the teen tried and failed to bring an arm around the older raven. His leaden limbs flopped to the floor like a puppet with its strings snipped. His tears ran freely down his face betraying his own emotions and that was okay.

Izaya backed away abruptly sitting on his butt looking down at his legs while he crossed them. His eyes were dry but barely. "You came back." Izaya said raw.

"Yes." Mikado answered forcing out the word.

"You joined Shiki." Not a question. The informant already knew the truth he just needed to confirm it.

"Yes."

Izaya nodded sucking in a breath. One hand ran back through his hair. "You're...sick?"

Mikado nodded not trusting himself to speak. He was sick in the mind. Kanra was something that shouldn't exist but she was a part of him lost to drugs. Drugs that were used to cure the ill.

Izaya said nothing making himself comfortable. The raven hadn't said anything about the body on the bed. Mikado found his mouth sparse for words containing the blonde. Betrayal coursed like hot molten lava. Vaguely the teen realised he had only moved the cross-hairs of his vengeance to another.

Instead he focused on the informant studying him like a bug in a glass. Licking his lips he wondered if it was his turn to speak. Izaya seemed to be waiting for something.

"...what?" Mikado asked.

"Don't I get the pleasure of talking with your sickness?" Izaya tossed at him.

Mikado clenched his fists refusing to look at the body on the bed. Stupidly he found himself staring at the small wedding band glinting on his finger. "She's...gone." Izaya waited for him to elaborate. "I was given something."

"Ah. Maybe when it wears off then." Izaya rocked back looking like he was about to get up.

"Is that it?" Mikado blurted. "I tried to kill you."

"You did. Compared to Shizu-chan that was more of a prank."

Mikado flinched at his husband's name. "He's not dead either." Izaya shrugged. "That little wound is only a scratch to him."

The teen chewed at his lower lip torn between pain and relief. The anger was still there but not as it had been when he had first heard Shizuo's confession.

"Shinra patched him up and he insisted on...Shinra gave him something to help him rest." Izaya told him quietly not looking at the bed either.

"To stop him leaving." Mikado tugged at the ring on his finger. It bit into his skin a little too tight. "He never intended to stay." The teen wrestled with his finger tearing the ring and a layer of skin off. It left a reddened indent.

Izaya caught it as he threw it to the floor. "No. He didn't."

Mikado recoiled at the confirmation. He had known from the beginning that Shizuo was temporary. The blonde had always been looking to say something and now he knew what it had been.

"I thought it was you." Mikado explained numbly. "I thought Shizuo wanted to leave because of you. He was always thinking about leaving. You hurt him."

"I did." Izaya twirled the ring between his fingers. Mikado felt a sharp jab of possessives wanting his ring back. The meaning was empty but that didn't mean he wanted Izaya or anyone else to have it. "I was angry at him."

"And now?" Mikado asked sensing something different. The informant was relaxed. From his days at the raven's side he knew that meant the puzzle was complete. Izaya knew everything and that brought down a sense of calm and airy confidence.

"Relieved. The break hasn't been one I would take again." Izaya shrugged tossing the ring back. "You married him."

"Yeah. I wanted to make him happy. All he wanted to do was return me to you." Mikado scowled at the ring. "I'm not a parcel."

"Do you hate Shizu-chan now?" Izaya pushed himself up taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "Do you hate me still?"

Mikado opened his mouth to answer closing it again. "I don't know." He decided. "I was hurt and angry. I felt like you'd abandoned me to stay with Shizuo. Then suddenly it wasn't just me. There was a voice in my head to keep me company. I think I lost control."

Izaya laughed pain flashing across his eyes as they momentarily flicked to the blonde sealed in slumber. "You and me both." Mikado drew back rattling the small chains connecting the cuffs. Izaya's emotions were laid bare for him to see in their entirety. "...I would have come for you. I planned to right after I confronted Shizu-chan."

Mikado sighed slumping against the wall. The pillows from the bed had been propped up behind him. "...I came back to be with the two of you." He confessed closing his eyes. There was only so long he could look at the raven without feeling his heart crack. "Shiki found me first. I- we thought about using him to meet you. Then we found Shizuo. We thought you'd abandoned him too."

"It was supposed to be his punishment." Izaya's voice was growing quieter by the minute. Mikado risked taking another look. There was no lies, no ego. Just a broken man. "Turns out I damned both of us. I couldn't eat or sleep."

"Neither could Shizuo." Mikado whispered. "We tried to heal him. It wasn't enough. He wanted you. I was angry."

"I know." Izaya said nothing further standing slowly. It reminded Mikado of a zombie trying to shuffle forward. The informant wasn't comfortable in their exchange.

"Izaya. Can you let me out now?" Mikado smiled hopefully raising his hand as far as it would go.

"No. I need you stay there whilst I figure this out." Mikado dropped his wrist in his lap knowing how futile it would be to argue. Izaya was at the bedroom door with his back turned. "I'm glad you're okay, Mikado-kun. I'm relieved you turned out to be Dual. If it was anyone else..." The door closed and that was the end of that.

Mikado sighed staring at the closed door. Izaya's words rang clear in his mind. A small shudder worked its way along his spine. If anyone else had touched Shizuo they would have suffered. Izaya still loved the fortissimo his admiration crystal clear. He was loved too. He hadn't felt a lie in any of the informant's words. "Kanra. What do I do?"

His counterpart didn't answer.

x-x-x

Shizuo was no stranger to pain. The bullet that had torn a hole in his side paled in comparison to the arrival of his ex lover. Despite the belief Mikado had told him he had known couldn't be true, it had still been a shock to see Izaya walk straight through the front door.

Caught by surprise, Shinra and Celty, the blonde had found himself cleaned, wrapped and bound. A faint buzzing numbness spreading slowly through his body like a virus. They had drugged him. But he couldn't bring himself to be angry about it.

That had been the plan to help his husband. Mikado hadn't been mentally stable, his worst fears coming to the fore. At the wedding Celty had slipped him the medication. From there he had the difficultly of getting them in the teen orally through food or drink.

Mikado had trusted him implicitly whilst they were both in the apartment lost in their honeymoon phase. Shizuo hadn't wanted the drugged teen to leave keeping an eye out for the side effects.

Shiki. The blue eyed raven had been caught up with the yakuza. Both his and Izaya's worst fears had been realised. Mikado had come home suspicious and shaky finding the box and him dosing the coffee.

Shizuo closed his eyes remembering the pain and betrayal. Mikado venting at him at the top of his lungs and a gun. Shiki had given the kid a gun. They both had ammunition. He had been hit with the news their former lover was dead and he had hit back with the truth. Izaya was innocent. He had been the one to banish the teen.

His confession had been met with strained silence, disbelief, anger, pain and lastly the crack of a pulled shot by a jittery trigger finger. The bullet went through him yet all he had felt was a slight pinch. Shizuo had been more concerned in disarming mikado so he didn't do anything stupid.

The kid had called Shinra.

Opening his eyes the blonde tried not to inhale. His heart had stuttered at the sight of Izaya standing at the door. It felt like they hadn't seen each other in so long. The raven's scent choked him announcing his presence and the fact he was still within its walls.

Shizuo reached for his chest scowling at his fingers moulded to claw. With a sigh he looked at the empty side of the bed noticing the teen unconscious on the floor. Getting out of bed, Shizuo shuffled around the bed eyeing the handcuffs. Anger and sympathy ruthlessly tore through him at the sight. Like a candle blown out the rage died all too quickly. His job was done. He no longer had a say.

That didn't stop him bending low to gently snap the restraints like plastic or lifting the teen from the floor to rest on the soft mattress. Shizuo raised the covers high smiling faintly as the teen curled into them. It was time to leave.

They'd left him naked from the waist up but not without clothes. Shizuo pulled on a clean shirt leaving the bedroom. Izaya's scent wafted under his nose making him stagger at the potency. He would always be able to tell where the informant was. Right now he was behind the closed door of the study.

If anyone could help Mikado away from Shiki's clutches it was Izaya. Slipping his shoes on the blonde quietly opened the door ready to slink out of the apartment like a guilty secret.

"Not going to say goodbye?" Izaya's voice submerged him in guilt and longing. "Or hello again for that matter."

Shizuo chose to say nothing.

Izaya darted forward faster than a snake blocking the door. For the first time their eyes met. The raven was thinner looking like he was recovering from a sickness. His eyes were wide and haunted and Shizuo realised he had been expected to leave. Izaya had been waiting for him to try.

"You look like shit." The raven told him.

"Same to you." Shizuo reached out easing his palm against Izaya's shoulder pushing him out of the way.

"You're running away." The statement made him bristle. Shizuo held onto his anger like a lifeline. It was the only thing stopping him from collapsing.

"No. My job is done." Shizuo growled.

Izaya laughed at him. "Done? You married Mikado and now you want to up and leave?"

"I returned him to you." Still Shizuo wouldn't part with the ring. He was entitled to one memento. Izaya had left a scar it was only fair the teen left something too.

"So now what?"

"I'm going to Kasuka like we originally planned." Shizuo shrugged.

"I meant us, Shizu-chan. Are we enemies again? Is that what you want?" Izaya was glaring at him emotions flicking through his eyes in a slideshow that made him both dizzy and cautious.

"We're...nothing." Shizuo said quietly. "I won't see you again. Get out of my way, flea."

Izaya held his ground stepping forward. Shizuo hissed feeling a sharp pain in his side where the raven pressed harshly against his healing wound. Even without a weapon the damn flea was so annoying.

"No. I'm not leaving. Not this time. Mikado needs you."

"He hates me." Shizuo looked back at the bedroom. "You two can be together now."

"I need you."

Shizuo laughed at that pained and bitter. Exhaustion was setting in his tired bones. "Good- ugh." Izaya's fingers stabbed inside his wound tearing at the stitches. "You want to kill me?"

"No. I want you to stay." Izaya pressed him against the door slipping his bloodied fingers out.

"I don't want to."

"Tough." Shizuo closed his eyes hating how close the informant was. He was drowning and Izaya didn't give a damn. "I'm not letting you go."

Shizuo watched the hem of his shirt turn from white to red. Izaya touched his cheek so gently it burned. "Don't." He warned. "Not that."

"Shizu-chan, I can't do this alone." Izaya whispered looking like a beautiful demon. Shizuo faltered focusing on the pain.

"I said don't." He ground out slapping Izaya's hand away. "Something is...broken. I broke it. I need to go."

Izaya's eyes flared the raven's body rigid. "You're right. But not yet. I need your help. Shiki isn't going to give Mikado up without a fight. Not to mention the other threats."

"I-"

"Please, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo lowered his head. "Fine. I'll help you take down Shiki. That's it."

Izaya smiled patting his shoulder with a bloody hand. "Thank you. Take your shirt off. I'll take care of your wound."

Shizuo took a step back. "I agreed to stay. That's it. Piss off and leave me alone. I'll deal with it myself."

"Shizu-chan-"

Shizuo shrugged Izaya's hand from his sleeve. His voice dropped to a pained whisper. "Leave me alone."

Striding into the bathroom, Shizuo closed the door peeling the shirt from his body. Izaya had reopened his wound leaving a bloody mess. A knock on the door made him flinch knowing it was the informant. Clambering into the bath, the blonde reached out gritting his teeth to turn on the water. Already he was regretting his decision to stay.