Jim wiped at the sweat dripping down his brow. It was hot, the tight press of gyrating bodies, giving off enough heat to leave the building in a perpetual state of oppressive humidity. If this was what living on the equator was like, Jim would take Vulcan any day. If he was honest with himself -whenever he was tipsy he was honest with himself- he kind of, maybe missed ShiKahr. Not the stuffy pricks but, his mum and Amanda and the illimitable desert. Sehlats. Sash savas. Being doused in sunburn cream. Golic writing. The Seleyan temples. The Katric Arc. Underground stalagmite oases. What it lacked in friendly vibes it certainly made up in its picturesque beauty.
Jim looked up from the watermark he'd been staring at for the last few minutes. He sought out and found both Phil and Jose on the dance floor. Each was pressed up against a pretty girl. Jim rubbed a hand up his face and turned to the bar where Gary was talking to a tall guy, Jim was pretty sure he recognised from the academy. Someone Holt, maybe? It didn't really matter. They looked pretty chummy. It explained why Gary left more than ten minutes ago and still hadn't bought their next round of drinks back.
He squirmed. Would it be ok to go to the bathroom? Gary looked fairly occupied. He wouldn't be missed for the few minutes it would take. And he really needed to relieve himself. He squeezed his thighs. Yeah. He was going. Fuck whatever rule about breaking the seal. He'd just keep going to the bathroom all night.
Jim made his way across the space, the world only swaying slightly. Whatever Gary had been giving him all night was clearly working. His body felt faintly buzzed. Like, he was actually buzzing whilst being buzzed. Ha! That was pretty awesome. Why hadn't drinking been like this before? This was nice.
Jim stared at his hands, trying to catch them buzzing. The thought passed his addled mind that he should show Gary. Gary looked like he could still see straight.
Without looking up, Jim turned and walked back through the hallway. He didn't get far before he bumped into a hard chest. His lashes fluttered as he tried to blink away the jolt from his abrupt stop.
"Hey Jim, you alright? You don't look so good." Gary peered down at him. He certainly seemed concerned. About what, Jim wasn't sure He felt fine. A little hot. Maybe he was wearing too many layers. He should lose some. Like his jacket. No one needed jackets inside. That was really silly.
Jim shrugged out of his jacket and held it in his hand looking down at it in confusion.
"Jim, you ok buddy? You've only had three drinks." Gary probed, staring at him funny. Was there something on his face? If there was something on his face, Gary should be a good mate and tell him. Or wipe it off. That was a good idea.
Jim grabbed Gary's hand and placed it on his face. It felt wrong. Like it was in the wrong place or something. Maybe if he just rearranged the fingers over his temple and cheek a bit. He sighed, that was nice. But, there was something different. Gary's hand must be wrong. He pulled it off and looked down, turning it over to inspect every angle. The fingers weren't long enough. And the veins were blue. Huh. That definitely wasn't right. Jim couldn't put his finger on what he was expecting. Just that this wasn't it.
"It's not right. Your hand is wrong." Jim pouted as he thought. "It's 'posed to tingle." Maybe there was something wrong with Gary. That's why he was wrong.
"Jim, we're gonna go sit down, ok." Gary asked softly. His voice was unexpectedly gentle. Like when people spoke with baby animals. Did that make Jim a baby animal?
"I don't wanna sit with you. I want- I want," Jim could feel tears starting to trickle down his cheeks. They tickled but, not in a good way. His throat felt tight. He didn't like it. He didn't want to be a baby animal. He wanted to be sitting, playing chess with Spock. He wanted to be pretty and smart and nice and interesting like that girl. Maybe that was why Spock didn't want him.
"Do you think I'm pretty?" Jim asked, employing his widest, most innocent eyes. Gary looked decidedly uncomfortable.
"Uh, you're a handsome guy." Gary was looking around like he wanted to find an escape. "Where's your comm? I'll call Spock."
Jim patted his pocket and waited until Gary sighed and put his hand into his pants. Ha, Gary was in his pants. He laughed and laughed, so hard his sides hurt. It felt nice to laugh. Refreshing. Distantly he could hear Gary talking to someone. He wanted to dance. To get lost in the writhing mass of bodies and never come out. It felt pretty nice when Gary touched him. Not tingly but still good. Maybe someone in that crowd could make it feel all tingly.
"No, Jim, come back. Spock's coming to pick you up." Gary was frowning. Did he make him angry? He didn't want to make anyone angry. He was always making people angry. Cause he wasn't good enough. They all thought he was someone else. Captain George Kirk's son. Ambassador Winona Kirk's son. The genius boy. But he was just Jim. And Jim was never good enough. And that made people angry. They expected too much. And Jim could never give it to them. Always buckled under the pressure.
Jim slid out of the seat, twisted from Gary's grip and stumbled into the crowd. It didn't take long for an arm to wrap around his waist. The body holding him felt like sweat and cheap deodorant. He was pulled into a hard chest and another hand knotted in his hair. There was still no tingling but at least he felt wanted. He melted a little into the embrace, not all together minding the roaming lips on his neck. At least until they parted and teeth dug into his collarbone.
"Let. Go. Of. Him." That gravelly voice sounded familiar and something in Jim automatically crooned towards it. He opened his eyes enough to see a pale hand grab the man holding him and break his grip without effort. The force knocked Jim out of the crush of bodies. Gary caught him whilst staring over his shoulder.
Spock looked pissed. Like, really pissed. Worse than anything he'd ever seen. It made Jim remember what he'd learned about Vulcans in his history sessions. Spock definitely looked like a warrior out for blood. His dark eyes promised retribution.
The fight was over before it began. The guy didn't stand a chance. One snap of Spock's wrist and he was out cold. No nerve pinch required. Just a straight punch to the solar plexus.
Gary led Jim away while Spock stood there, clenching and unclenching his fists. Gary's arm was shaking slightly. It was always a little scary to see a Vulcan lose a little of their famed control. To be reminded in such a violent way, of their brutality. Their superiority. The violent, bubbling abyss of emotions buried under the stoic masks.
"Jim?" He turned and gazed up at Spock. A frowning Spock. Not that his facial expression had changed, not really. It was his eyebrows. And his eyes. They looked upset. Jim was a disappointment. He'd pushed Spock into losing control again. It was his fault.
"I'm taking you home." Spock's hand replaced Gary's. "Thank you, Mr. Mitchell."
Gary just nodded stupidly and let them walk out into the night together.