Best laid plans

Shizuo woke up with the mother of all headaches. His skull throbbed. His side hurt and his throat felt like a desert. Licking his lips the blonde coughed scratching at his throat.

"Don't do that." A voice chided next to him. The owner of the voice brought something cold to his lips. Water. Taking the bottle in his hand he gulped down the cool liquid greedily.

"...more." He croaked tossing the empty bottle away. He didn't see where it went and he didn't particularly care.

More was what he got. Another bottle touching his lips. Shizuo absorbed the contents trying for a third. "That's enough, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo growled at his pet name. There was only one that called him that. "...Izaya."

"I'm here." His ex spoke softly smoothing his brow.

"I told you-"

"I don't care. You can do what you want and I'll do the same." Izaya told him. Shizuo had a feeling he was smiling. Too bad his damn eyes didn't want to open.

"What do you want?" The blonde growled.

"You. In our bed. I want what we had before."

"Not happening." Shizuo scowled turning his head. "What happened?"

"You're feverish."

Shizuo grunted. No wonder he felt like his body was burning up.

"I restitched your wound."

"Your fault in the first place." Shizuo groaned rolling slowly onto his side. It hurt like a bitch but it was the only way Izaya would get the message. He wasn't welcome in his life.

"How are you feeling?"

Shizuo snorted. He felt like he'd been shot and someone had decided to fist the hole.

"We need you better."

Doubtful. They needed his strength. His bull in a china shop reaction. No one else would sanely go against a man that worked for the yakuza and handed out guns to teenagers.

"Shizu-chan, I forgive you." Izaya whispered. "Can't you forgive yourself?"

Shizuo decided he was hallucinating and pretended it was all a fucked up dream. That's how it was with what you wished most. Nothing was ever that easy. They wouldn't forgive him. But they would be happy. Izaya and Mikado would have each other.

x-x-x

"How is he?" Mikado asked feigning interest. Izaya would tell him anyway.

"Still feverish. He woke up for a bit."

"And?" Kanra leaned forward. "What did he say?"

Izaya sighed. "Same as he has been."

"Maybe we should call Kasuka." Mikado suggested.

"No."

"But-"

"I said no. No one else gets involved. This is between us. I don't want anyone else playing influence."

"Because Kasuka hates you?" Kanra asked.

"Partly."

"Celty doesn't think much of you either." Kanra continued with the harsh truth. "After what you did I don't think anyone would persuade Shizuo to get back with you." She laughed.

"Then it's a good thing they're not here."

Mikado smothered a yawn. "Yeah. What a shame."

Izaya shook his head. Mikado clenched his fists certain that the informant was disappointed in him. "I suppose I should be thankful you don't want to kill him."

"I could have been married to you." Mikado smiled stroking the ring.

"Nah. I'm not the married type. I best serve the temptation role. Don't you agree?" Izaya said smoothly offering him a wink. Kanra laughed.

"We won't know."

"Exactly. What's done is done." Izaya stepped closer to the desk he was sitting behind. His breath hitched looking directly into the informant's eyes. "You're married to the protozoan so it's your decision that counts."

"We know that." Kanra snapped.

"But it doesn't change the fact-" Mikado cut himself off hearing the door.

Izaya scowled. "Has Shiki ever come to this apartment?"

"No."

"I'll get it." A grumpy tired voice echoed.

Mikado got up from the desk following Izaya out of the study neither of them expected the blonde to be awake. Shizuo opened the door turning paler than he already was. "Celty." A blast of inky shadow shot into the apartment knocking Shizuo flying into the wall.

"Hey!" Izaya ran over to the slumped blonde. He didn't get there in time. Shizuo slid up the wall circled by thin sharp wisps.

"Suppose I deserve that."

Mikado watched Izaya flinch back, the dullahan turning to face him. He was sure at one point she settled on him too before returning to the feverish fortissimo.

Her fingers danced across the device shoved in front of the blonde. Neither he nor Izaya could see it.

"I know." Shizuo grumbled.

More typing followed.

"I know."

Celty continued shoving message after message forward.

"I'm sorry."

More typing.

"That's not-" The point of the shadow sliced his cheek. "I can't."

"Enough." Izaya grabbed the dullahan's arm. "Shizu-chan needs to recover." He was ignored. Celty was in mid rant and Shizuo looking ashamed only had eyes for her.

"I know." Shizuo said pained reading the latest message. "I'm sorry." His head slumped, the fever taking him again. Celty poked his cheek shaking him a little. She shook him harder before Izaya slapped her hand away.

"His wound opened." The informant explained. "He was recovering from a fever."

Celty had the decency to look guilty. At least that's what it looked like. Her head lowered, the bindings holding the unconscious blonde flopped away. Izaya took Shizuo's weight.

"Aren't you going to help?" Kanra whispered. "He might seriously be hurt."

Mikado retreated back into the study. Izaya was the only one that noticed him, acknowledging his decision with a shake of his head. Closing the door he tried not to let Izaya's disappointment gnaw at him.

x-x-x

Everything was his fault. Shinra had said as much, bustling in with his medical bag. He had looked disapprovingly at the unconscious blonde.

Celty hadn't done anything wrong. Why was he accusing his beloved. Blah blah blah. Shinra was blind to the dullahan's faults.

His own mistakes hadn't helped. "This isn't my work." Shinra noted examining the stitches.

"Why? Too perfect?" Izaya teased. He didn't like how pale the protozoan was. His bangs were plastered to his forehead. The blonde was sick. Hospital sick by the way Shinra was tutting and shaking his head at the results.

"Amateur at best. You should have called me instead of playing doctor."

"What so you can turn Shizu-chan against me?" Izaya stood close to the blonde's head. "It's a delicate situation. One that doesn't need your bias."

"Well I hope it was worth it. Shizuo needs to be taken to a hospital."

"No." Izaya growled surprising himself. "It's not safe."

"He needs proper medical care. The fever-"

"Was getting better if not for your girlfriend throwing a fit."

Shinra sniffed at the accusation pausing to lovingly pat the dullahan's arm. "It doesn't matter how it happened. Shizuo needs a doctor."

"Which you are. I say he stays."

"You're not thinking straight, Izaya."

"I'm thinking perfectly logically. Shizu-chan stays here."

Celty typed something but he ignored it. "I won't have either of them out of my sight."

"Then take the other one with you."

"I can't." Izaya snapped. "Outside this apartment he'll be watched. Shiki will be waiting for an opportunity to snatch him away."

"Then leave him here."

"Did you just hear me? No. I'm not separating us. I won't abandon them."

"You abandoned them both. What's so hard about picking one this time?"

Izaya closed his eyes holding himself up by the bed frame. "I won't. Never again."

Shinra blew out a deep breath. "Tough. This isn't your choice. You're an outsider, Izaya. Did you think you could skip back into their lives and everything would be fine?"

"Shut up." Izaya turned away.

"The decision goes to his husband." Mikado. The teen wanted the blonde gone. "Celty my beloved-"

"No!"

"Shizuo is-"

"Getting pissed off with people talking about him when I'm right here." A harsh growl rose from the bed. "So noisy."

"Shizu-chan." Izaya moved to support the blonde shooting a glare at the intrusions.

"Shizuo, you shouldn't be awake." Shinra reached for him.

"Shinra, I don't need to go to the damn hospital. Providing someone doesn't tear out the stitches again, I'll be fine." Izaya scowled when the protozoan looked accusingly at him and not the one who had thrown him into a wall.

"Shizuo, I strongly suggest-"

"You of all people know this isn't enough to take me down." Another pointed look came his way. "I've been through a lot worse."

Izaya craned his head trying to read the message Celty held out. "I know. Sorry I got you involved. I won't do anything stupid."

Whatever conversation went on between them, Izaya doubted the blonde's promise. "Are you done now?"

Shinra looked like he wanted to protest more but wisely kept his mouth shut on the subject. "It's not my fault you want to ignore my advice. Let's go, my beloved."

He watched them leave the room and hopefully the apartment. Concern creased his brows, running his fingers gently through the blonde's damp hair.

"Flea?"

"Mm?"

"Don't touch me."

Izaya flashed a smile at the brute. "I'll do what I want, Shizu-chan."

"I'll break your fingers." An empty tired threat. They both knew it. Izaya humoured him with a chuckle.

"Get some sleep."

The blonde closed his eyes and within seconds was out like a light. Izaya remained where he was watching over him.

x-x-x

Outside the door Mikado leaned against the wall. He had heard everything, felt Izaya's anger and his refusal to abandon either of them again. Tears filled his eyes threatening to fall.

"What now?" Kanra asked quietly.

Mikado sighed fingers on the door frame. Izaya looked back at him placing a finger on his lips. Stepping further in, his heart tugged watching Izaya trail his fingers over the blonde's hair.

Shizuo was asleep once again, freshly bandaged. It looked like Shinra hadn't needed to re-stitch the wound. Izaya held out his other hand, which he took holding tight.

The raven smiled pulling him gently into his lap. Mikado said nothing careful not to wake Shizuo. Izaya's arm was around his waist keeping him in place.

"We can't take Shiki on like this." Izaya whispered against his throat. Mikado shivered. "Shizu-chan is hurt."

"I can take care of myself, flea." Shizuo growled opening his eyes. When their eyes met he looked away. Mikado looked down at his lap.

"I thought you were sleeping?" Izaya grumbled.

"Like I can do that with you stroking my hair!" Shizuo snapped slapping Izaya's hand away. "You keep forgetting I'm different."

"You're not immortal, Shizu-chan. You can die from a gunshot wound or being stabbed."

"I know my limits, flea."

"Then stay down and rest."

"Piss off and leave me alone." Shizuo growled.

"No." Izaya was adamant standing his ground. Mikado watched them argue back and fourth.

Shizuo rose on his elbows as if that would give him more of a presence. Izaya leaned in closer squaring up to him. The two greatest forces in Ikebukuro glared at one another.

Kanra sighed shoving Izaya's head into Shizuo's and jumping off the informant's lap. Mikado stated as their lips touched. Neither one of them shrank away. Izaya took full advantage using it to get closer. His hand cupped the back of Shizuo's head.

The blonde's eyes were wide staring forward. Slowly his eyelids slipped shut, hand falling limply to the side. His lips melded against Izaya's.

Mikado turned to leave the room giving the pair some privacy. At the movement Shizuo's eyes snapped open staring at him. Pain swirled in their depths, Shizuo pushing Izaya away. Wiping his mouth with his arm he glared at the raven.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Shizuo snapped.

"Shizu-chan-"

"Get out."

Mikado shook his head. It had looked like the duo had made up, giving into the tension between them. What had gone wrong?

"It's you." Kanra whispered. "Shizuo thinks this is what's going to appease you."

"That's not true." Mikado left the bedroom hearing the argument go back into full swing.

"You know it is. Stop and think." Kanra told him retreating back into his mind.

Mikado locked himself in the study doing just that. Sitting in the chair he closed his eyes shutting out all his negative emotions. It wasn't easy and they weren't all gone. But it would do.

Shizuo had guessed what would happen with him and Kanra. To stop it he had manipulated Izaya into sending him away.

Mikado grit his teeth, stomach churning at the thought. That incident had made things worse. All his misunderstood hatred had been pointed at Izaya.

But Izaya didn't hate him. Shizuo he wasn't so sure about. Since his return the blonde had pushed him away forcing him back to Izaya.

Mikado jolted as a thought passed through his mind. Jumping from the chair he ran from the room, back into the bedroom. Izaya looked up subtly moving closer to the blonde. Shizuo didn't look bothered, looking away from him.

"Mikado-kun?" Izaya asked patiently.

Mikado's fingers clutched the door frame. "Did you let me shoot you?"

Izaya's eyes narrowed. "Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo wouldn't face him. His head was turned away. Mikado staggered at the unspoken answer. He had wanted to get married. So they had got married. Everything he had wanted the blonde had done.

"You did." Mikado lowered his head. Shizuo had thought he wanted him dead. Anything he said would be granted. Mikado shuddered. If he told the blonde to leave he would. He was the one that held control over the fortissimo's life. Shaking his head he took a step back. "Do as Izaya says and get some rest."

Shizuo gave a small nod still not looking at him. Izaya looked between them realising what was going on.

"You didn't make him leave." Kanra noted.

"No." Mikado sighed flopping face down on the sofa. "I have to forgive him now. He's offered up his life."

"Yeah. Be careful what you say." Kanra advised.

"Mikado?" Izaya stood over him. "Shizu-chan is resting. Are you okay?"

Raising his head he looked to the informant. Sitting on the edge. "If I told him to jump in front of a truck, would he?"

Izaya shrugged. "Probably."

Mikado nodded. "What do you want me to tell him?"

"That its okay to forgive himself. That its okay for us to be together again. The three of us."

"You knew?" Mikado accused.

"I guessed. The only one Shizu-chan will listen to is you."

"What about Shiki? What do you think we should do?"

Izaya didn't look at him for a moment. "I think we should leave Ikebukuo." Mikado felt a wave of deja vu wash over him. "All three of us should meet up with Kasuka or go somewhere else until Shizu-chan recovers and we find stable ground between us."

"Leave? You said that last time. It was going to be me and you." Mikado say up slowly urging Kanra for help.

"That was then." Izaya spoke softly. "This is now. We can take a train or a taxi. Whatever helps Shizu-chan travel better."

Mikado stood up quickly stumbling. "I-I'll think about it." Making a quick retreat to the bedroom he closed the door sliding to the floor. On the bed Shizuo was asleep. Izaya didn't come after him. "What do you think?"

"Do you trust him?" Kanra asked leaving him alone to his thoughts.

Mikado remembered being pushed onto the train. The doors closing and Izaya still standing on the platform. He could do it again. Mikado knew he would be leaving Ikebukuro no matter what. The question was whether Shizuo and Izaya would be with him.

It wasn't just his life. Trusting Izaya would mean risking himself, Kanra and Shizuo. The conversation with Shinra popped up in his head. Izaya had sworn he wouldn't abandon them. The informant had been adamant they would be together no matter what.

Pushing himself up, Mikado walked to the bed staring down at the sleeping blonde. "Shizuo." He called gently shaking Shizuo's shoulder.

"Hm?" The fortissimo woke almost immediately. Mikado regretted waking him instantly, seeing the pain in his eyes.

"I want to ask you something." He tried not to be put out when Shizuo looked away from him.

"...Can't you ask the flea?"

"No. It's about him."

"...Ah. Go on then."

Mikado nodded feeling a little hope blossom within his heart. "Izaya wants us to leave Ikebukuro. He says we're not strong enough."

"So?"

"Do you trust him?"

Shizuo looked at him nodding once. "Yeah. Is that what you wanted to know?"

Mikado shook his head. "No. Can I trust him?"

"It's up to you." Shizuo sighed closing his eyes. "But yeah. The flea will do anything for you."

"...Like you would for me?"

"...yeah."

"I thought you hated me." Mikado clenched his fists.

"You? Never." Shizuo murmured.

Mikado nodded swallowing past the lump in his throat. "It-it's okay to forgive yourself. If you want to be with Izaya you can. Izaya refuses to leave either of us alone so it's the three of us again."

Shizuo didn't open his eyes or acknowledge his words. With a heavy sigh Mikado left the room in search of Izaya. The older raven was sitting on the sofa looking at him expectantly.

"Let's leave Ikebukuro."