I'm back! And once again, I'm sorry it took so long! But I won't waste words trying to explain why this was, as I know most of you probably don't read these anyways!

Disclaimer: Is Tris still dead?...was that a yes I heard? Is Uriah still dead?...he is? What about Lynn, Marlene, and Will?...really?! Okay, so I am (obviously) not the writer of the Divergent Trilogy nor do I own the characters, as I would never allow that to happen!

Chapter 43

Tris's POV

I wake up covered in blankets. I slowly flick my eyes open and blink several times in an effort to see clearly. I subconsciously reach to the other side of the bed, but find it empty.

"Tobias?" I call out. But I get no reply.

I kick the blankets off and sit up, rubbing my bleary eyes. I'm still exhausted. I check the clock to my right, finding that it's barely seven o'clock. I sigh and decide to try to find Tobias.

"Tobias!" I call out again. I still get no reply. I frown and start to get up.

"I think...I think that we should take a break."

The memory hits me so suddenly and so hard that I collapse onto the floor and my stomach starts to twist and turn quite unpleasantly. I close my eyes.

"Why am I crying if I'm the one who said we should take a break in the first place?"

"Because you don't want it to happen."

"No...I really don't."

"But it needs to."

"Yeah…"

I open my eyes and start to blink the tears away.

"It's not anything you did. A-and it'll only be for a little while. I love you too, and it's just as hard for me to say this as it is for you to listen, but I...I need some time for myself.

I put my fist into my mouth and force myself to stop thinking about this before I start crying again.

Tobias and I are on a break. He's not here. He'll be gone for as long as we see fit. It could be months that he's gone. I need to accept this. Accept and move on.

But how can I accept when I already miss his presence so much it hurts?

I shake my head, clearing it of my thoughts. I need to remember the reason behind our break. That's what I need to recall. I take a few deep breaths.

"I don't want to do this, but I need to. I can't keep acting. All the pretending is destroying me. I love you, and I don't want you to be in the middle of this."

Yes. I need to heal on my own. I don't want someone I love to be forced to carry my burdens. The sooner I begin the healing process, the sooner I can go back to him.

Steeling myself, I stand up. Heal now, Tobias later.

I get dressed into a pair of sweatpants and a random black sweatshirt. It's not until I have it on that I realize that this isn't my sweatshirt...it's Tobias's.

Tears sting my eyes, but I will them away. I close my eyes for a moment. Heal now, Tobias later. Remember, Tris? Remember?

I open my eyes and shakily pick up my hair brush. I slowly comb through my hair, making a slight effort to look the part today. Maybe if I don't look like a mess, it'll be easier for me to remember that healing comes first.

But as his scent makes its way up and into my nose, the tears start falling. I drop the brush with a clatter, and bite my lip.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

I let out a pained groan when I feel a wet droplet fall onto the back of my hand.

To hell with it. If my brain wants to keep reminding me of him, then I won't keep fighting it. It was bound to win eventually anyways.

I carelessly throw my hair into a very messy braid, ruining whatever progress I'd made on making it look decent. I let my posture sag and don't bother to take his sweatshirt off. I pull the fabric up to my chin so the now fading cut-turning-scar on my neck is covered up.

I grab a blanket off my bed and hurry out of my room, desperate to make my way downstairs where less reminders of him await. It doesn't help much. With me wearing his scent, I'm constantly flooded with images of him. I realize when I get downstairs that nobody else is awake yet. I sigh in relief. At least that went in my favor.

I fall onto the couch and curl up into a ball. I wince as I lay on something hard. I pull it out from under me and am met with the sight of my phone. I sigh and am about to toss it out of the way when I pause. I think for a few minutes, then huff and roll my eyes at myself.

Really Tris? You're going to turn into one of those girls?

Eventually, I decide that I don't really care all that much anymore. I unlock my phone and call one of the numbers I know by heart. A couple of rings ensue before she picks up.

"Tris? Everything okay?"

"Do you feel like coming over today?"

A pause. "I mean...I guess I have five more sick days before I'm called in for truancy...what do you need?"

"Right now? Right now I need ice cream, the cheesiest romance movies you can find, and chocolate. Lots of chocolate."

"No!" she yells desperately. "Don't tell me you and Four broke up!"

"Okay, I won't," I say, both closing and avoiding the subject. "Can you come over?"

"I'm already packing my bag. I'll be over in ten minutes."

"Thank you, Christina."

"No problem, girl. I'll see you soon. This isn't my first experience with the breakup remedy. I'll take good care of you."

"Bye, Chris."

"Bye, Tris."

Let my day of self-wallowing begin.

Exactly ten minutes later, three sharp raps sound on my door.

I slowly get up, my movements sluggish even as I go to the door. I open it up to see Christina standing with a large bag in one hand and a large supply of makeup in the other. I don't even fight her on that one.

I immediately turn so she can come in. She sets the 'breakup remedy' by the couch where I was drowning in my own tears and comes back to me. She sighs and holds her arms out to me. I don't waste a moment in accepting her embrace. I silently cry into her shoulder for a few minutes before pulling back.

"I hope you don't mind, but I sort of called the rest of the girls up and they're going to join us too..." she says sheepishly.

I roll my eyes and wipe my tears, self-consciously hiding my neck from view again. "I feel like we should have a theme for this. Something like 'Self-wallowing pity party'." I pause for a moment. "That has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

She smiles at me and leads me back over to the couch. "They'll be at the self-wallowing pity party in five minutes or less. I even convinced Lynn to come."

I raise an eyebrow. "But won't the boys be suspicious when none of us show up to school?"

She giggles. "Yes. But that's beyond your concern. It's none of their business. Besides, they'll know eventually."

It's at that moment when footsteps begin to come down the stairs. Tori pops out a minute later.

"Oh! Hi Christina! Good morning, Bea. I thought I heard an extra voice down here, but I just assumed it was Caleb. Anyways...what are you doing here, Christina? Not that you're not welcome!"

"You haven't told her?" Christina quietly asks me.

"I haven't exactly gotten the chance to yet...it happened early this morning…" I tell her sheepishly.

She stares exasperatingly at me. I sigh.

"Tori, can I talk to you for a minute?" I ask her and drag her away into the kitchen before she can protest.

"What was that all about?!"

"Listen...um...Four and I….we're sort of on a...break…." I tell her slowly.

Her eyes widen. "What?! Why?! When?!" she shouts.

"Shh!" I exclaim. "I don't want Caleb to find out yet! He'll get the wrong idea!"

She frowns. "Explain. Now."

I take a deep breath. "I realized early this morning that I needed some time to myself so I could heal without worrying about T-Four. I told him everything last night...everything. And I felt so guilty about putting that burden on him. I knew that if I wanted to heal completely then I would have to do it on my own. I suggested we take a break, he agreed, end of story."

She raises an eyebrow. "He agreed? Just like that?"

I feel myself blush. So much for trying to avoid that subject. "No. He fought me for a little bit then gave in because he realized that it was really important to me. Said that he would agree as long as I remembered that he was still there for me."

"Okay…." she drags. "And Christina is here, why?"

I hang my head and wrap my arms around myself. "I wanted some company today."

"Caleb is here…" she says obviously, as if prodding me for more information.

"I...I wanted someone other than Caleb. I don't know...I just...Christina was my go to. I can't call Four back and tell him I've changed my mind."

"And why not?" she asks.

"Because this needs to happen, Tori!" I sigh, tears falling down my cheeks again. I quickly wipe them off. "I...I love him. I want to better myself, make myself stronger. I can't keep pretending that I'm alright all the time. The guilt I felt whenever I broke down in front of him caused me to backtrack on whatever progress I'd made. I...this is something I have to do on my own."

She brushes stray hairs back from my face and I finally look up at her. She kisses my forehead.

"Is there anything I can do?"

I shake my head. "Not at the moment. Maybe later."

She nods and runs her finger down my cheek, catching some of the tears. "You miss him?"

I emit something between a laugh and a cry. "What kind of question is that?" I ask, choked up.

She smiles at me. "Are you sure you don't need me to stay home today?"

I nod. "I have Christina, who invited rest of the girls as well, here. Plus Caleb," I add as an afterthought.

"Alright. But promise me something before I go."

I look at her, slightly confused. "Okay…?"

"Eat chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate."

She gets a small laugh out of me and I wrap my arms around her.

"Thank you, Tori."

She squeezes me for a few moments before letting go. "I've got to go, okay? Promise you'll stuff yourself with chocolate?"

I softly smile. "I promise."

"Good."

She kisses my forehead once more before she grabs an apple and walks out the door. I walk back into the living room where Christina awaits. She lifts her eyebrows.

"I told her."

She nods. "Good. And she's okay with us being over?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Good. Now, explain to me why Caleb is alive!" she exclaims and lightly thumps me.

"Hey! Ow! In my defense, I never told you he was dead!"

"Yes you did! I remember it! You told me he died in a car wreck along with your parents!"

"No, I remember being very careful about my wording because of this exact situation! I said 'is' instead of 'was' like I did with my parents. I said 'This is my brother, Caleb'," I argue.

She frowns, and I can see the gears turning as she struggles to remember. Eventually, she makes eye contact with me and smirks.

"You're good with words, Prior."

I smile sheepishly. "Sorry I made it sound like he was dead, but I wasn't exactly allowed to tell anyone he was alive. I didn't even find out he was alive until we were about ready to leave Haviland."

She frowns again. "Wait - so you thought he was dead?" I nod. "Then...why didn't you know he was alive?"

I shake my head. "It's a very long, complicated story that isn't mine to tell. Let's just leave it at that."

She narrows her eyes at me, as if trying to determine if I'm telling the truth.

"If it makes you feel any better, Four didn't know either the day I told you…" I trail off.

She sighs and gives in, probably only because of my mention of the thing that's making me cry. "Alright, I believe you. Just do me a favor and don't start wallowing again until the rest of the party is here. And if you can't wait that long, at least grab some ice cream from my bag beforehand."

I hug her again. "Thank you again, Chris."

We're interrupted knocks on the door and I leisurely open it. Shauna, Marlene, and Lynn stand there, Lynn looking less enthused than the others.

"Welcome to my self-wallowing pity party," I mumble to them and open the door a bit wider.

"Out of all the girls here, I assumed we'd be doing this for one of them." Lynn points her fingers at Shauna, Marlene, and Christina. "Not you," she finishes with a pointed glare. As the others stare on in horror, I smile softly. At least Lynn will be able to set me straight if I go too far.

"Nice to see you too, Lynn."

She smirks and pushes past the door, going to Christina's bag, pulling out a pint of ice cream, and turning back towards me.

"The only reason I ever come to these things is for the ice cream. This sappy shit that you're pulling right now is actually the most stupid thing I've ever heard of. Especially coming from you. I don't care how close you and Four were, a breakup is a breakup. It's done. Over. Nada. Move on. Now, where are your spoons?"

"Lynn!" Shauna exclaims.

I genuinely chuckle and start walking to the kitchen. "Follow me."

She does so wordlessly. When we get to the kitchen, I pull out five spoons and hand one to Lynn. She rips the lid off her ice cream and puts the wrapper in my hand. I throw it away with a roll of my eyes.

"Lynn? It's a break, not a breakup," I clarify.

She raises her eyebrow, taking a bite of her ice cream. "And what are you trying to prove here other than I have a better reason to kick your ass now?"

"I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm just letting you know you have every right to kick my ass should the time come."

She smirks. "Now that's more like the girl I can make fun of the others with."

I smile. "Please feel free to put me in my place should I wallow in too deep during my pity party."

She gives me a genuine smile, slightly surprising me. "Maybe I'd feel sorry for you if I didn't know that you and Four's breakup wasn't permanent."

She walks out of the kitchen.

"Pretty sure that's why it's called a break, Lynn!" I yell after her, rolling my eyes.

"Be a smart ass one more time, I dare you! I'm warning you, it won't be pretty!"

I smile as I hear the other girls immediately start to yell at her. I take a deep breath and make my way back towards the living room. Lynn is sitting on the recliner with her ice cream, obviously not listening to anything they have to say.

"It's okay, guys. I need at least one person to keep me in line."

Three heads immediately turn to me. All of them run up to me and give me bone-crushing hugs.

"What's the cheesiest movie you've got, Christina?" I ask, breaking the silence.

She breaks away from the group hug and runs to her bag. She puts in a movie and turns the tv on before running back to me. She and the other girls usher me back to the couch and lay me down. Marlene grabs three spoons out of my hand, leaving one, and replaces them with a pint of cookie dough ice cream. Christina sits down on one side of me and lays my head in her lap while Marlene takes my legs. Shauna sits in front of me with a box of Kleenexes and holds my free hand. My pint of ice cream sits between Chris's legs and I begin to eat it one-handed as the movie starts playing.

"I know this is ridiculous of me. I'm the one who suggested we take a break in the first place! Besides, it's just a break!" I angrily shove a huge mouthful of ice cream in my mouth. "Why am I acting like it was a breakup ended on bad terms? It wasn't!"

Christina brushes back stray hairs from my face. Shauna squeezes my hand.

"Because you miss him," Marlene replies.

I huff and begin to shovel more ice cream down my throat. "I'm still being ridiculous," I say through my ice cream.

"No you're not. You miss Four, you're on a break, and you want him back but know you can't; it's normal to pity yourself for a day or two," Shauna says comfortingly.

I take another large bite of ice cream in response and turn my focus to the movie.

My empty pint of ice cream sits on the floor along with my spoon. I take another tissue from the box Shauna is holding up to me and wipe my cheeks.

"You guys are the best," I say through my tears as the couple on screen kiss again.

"The 'kick Tris's ass' timer is now set for two minutes and counting," Lynn says absently, focusing on scraping out the final remnants of her ice cream.

"Lynn, stop it!" Shauna scolds.

She raises her eyebrows and licks her spoon clean. She glances at me.

"One minute and forty-five seconds," she informs me.

I finish wiping my eyes with my tissue and take deep breaths. I throw the tissue on the ground to join the pile and sigh. I thrust my hand out toward Lynn.

"Give me the chocolate and you can stop counting down the 'kick my ass' timer," I tell her pointedly.

She smirks, reaches down into Christina's bag and pulls out a smaller bag full of various wrapped chocolate.

"Done," she replies and tosses the whole thing to me. I catch it and immediately tear open several chocolates. I shove them into my mouth, glaring at the couple on screen still kissing.

"Look at them, all happy and lovey-dovey. Isn't that just perfect?" I state frustratedly. I shove two more chocolates down my throat.

I tear off another wrapper and am about to eat it when a voice sounds from behind the couch I'm laying on.

"What the hell is going on, and who are all these people?" I hear Caleb ask me.

I turn slightly to face him and can't help but glare.

"These are my friends. Meet Christina, Shauna, Marlene, and Lynn," I say in a matter-of-fact tone. Each one waves when I call their name, except for Lynn who settles for a grunt. "Everybody, this is my brother, Caleb." They all mumble their hellos, obviously knowing this isn't really a time for introductions.

He frowns as he takes in his surroundings. "Okay...but that still doesn't explain why they're here or what's going on?" he states, prodding for more information.

"Oh, I don't know, I thought you were the smart one. Why don't you tell me?" I snap. He stares at me blankly. "Use your eyes, Cal. An excess amount of ice cream and chocolate, a cheesy romance in the background, a pile of used tissues, baggy clothes, messy hair, and a group of girls...what do you think we're doing? Having a 'let's see who can look more miserable' contest?"

He raises both of his eyebrows at me and blinks once. I can tell that he isn't going to let my tone slide in the slightest. "Kitchen. Now."

I grumble as I sit up. Christina, Marlene, and Shauna all look apologetic while Lynn is snickering.

"I told you it wouldn't be pretty if you were a smart ass," she says.

I roll my eyes at her. "Very funny. Ha, ha, ha."

She snickers again as I grab my spoon and walk out of the room.

Caleb grabs a hold of my arm and starts to drag me to the kitchen. Once we get there, I yank my arm out of his grip and go to the freezer where we moved the ice cream. I take a cookies and cream pint and throw the wrapper away, immediately shoveling several bites into my mouth.

"Where's Four?" he asks.

I roll my eyes. "Not here."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as I shovel more ice cream in.

"I guess the more appropriate question would be why isn't he here?" he quietly states, correcting his inquiry.

"Because he left," I answer flatly, more absorbed in my ice cream than our conversation.

He purses his lips and I can tell I'm testing his boundaries. He shifts his jaw a few times and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Beatrice, please don't be short with me when I've done nothing wrong. I'm trying to understand what's going on. Please answer me," he says in a strained voice.

I glare at him for a few moments before I sigh and give the information up. "We're having a self-wallowing pity party and I'm the host," I tell him.

He lets go of his nose and opens his eyes. "And Four's gone because…?"

"He's gone because I told him to leave early this morning."

"Because…?" he prods.

"Because we're on a...break," I admit quietly, feeling my tears reappear.

Caleb frowns and I look away. "Why are you on a break?"

"Because...because I told him I needed time to heal myself before I could focus on our relationship," I continue softly, a tear falling. I wipe it off before he can see it.

"So you were the one who suggested a break?"

I nod. "Yes," I tell him shakily.

"And you're having a pity party...why? Shouldn't it be him who's hosting this?"

"Because I miss him. And also because I know I have a long ways to go before I can even consider getting back together with him."

It's quiet for a while, then a quiet sigh fills the air. Green apple floods my nostrils as he wraps me up into a hug. I turn my head into his shoulder and grab his arms. I cry into his neck for a while.

"I respect your decision," he whispers,"and I'm proud of you for it." I clutch him tighter to me. "As long as it wasn't Four who left you, I have nothing against the guy."

I roll my eyes. "He wouldn't leave me."

"Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it," he replies, slightly scoffing. My jaw drops at his Candor-like attitude as I pull away. "What?" he asks. "You may love him, but I still have my qualms."

Rolling my eyes again, this time so he can see it, I grab my ice cream off the counter. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a pity party waiting on me and the rest of the day to wallow in my own tears."

He chuckles and kisses my forehead. "And I won't bother you unless you need me or I need food. I'll be in my room."

I nod at him. He leaves the kitchen and I follow, him going back upstairs and me to the living room. I take my place between Christina and Marlene again and begin to scarf down the remainder of my second ice cream.

"You can play the movie," I tell them, waiting for the frozen screen to burst into life. A few moments later, it does, but it freezes again as knocks are heard coming from my door.

"Who is that?" I ask no one in particular.

"Probably Dipshit One, Dipshit Two, and the nose. Thank God they came," Lynn replies.

"Okay, nose I get, but Dipshit One and Two?" I ask.

"Zeke and Uriah's nicknames."

"Why haven't I been informed of this before?" I ask.

"Probably because we rarely address them at the same time," she replies.

"Wait!" I exclaim and sit up. "So let me get this straight. You invited the boys?! Without me knowing?!"

"Chill out, woman! I already texted Will and he said Four wasn't there today, meaning he has no idea what's going on here. Jesus, I'm not that heartless. I only invited them here because I need someone other than crying girls to spend the day with," she continues, standing up to answer the door.

I roll my eyes and shovel in more ice cream. Moments later, the door opens and the voices of Zeke and Uriah, a.k.a. Dipshit One and Two, fill the silent room.

"Where's Will?" I hear Lynn ask.

"He wanted to stay in school, but he said he'd be by later," Zeke scoffs. "Once a nose, always a nose."

"That's my boyfriend you're talking about!" Christina snaps.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Uriah replies and flops down onto the couch between Marlene and I with a large smile I've come to know as the Pedrad smile. "So, Tris, I hear you're the gracious host of this party."

"Yes, I am, but if you guys keep going against my theme I will not hesitate to kick you out," I reply sharply. "And if any of you tell Four about this, I will kill you."

Uriah throws one arm around Marlene and the other around me. "I already get that Four isn't to know about this. Trust me, Lynn made that very clear." He shoots a glare at Lynn who only smirks. "But I wasn't aware of a theme."

"The theme is 'self-wallowing pity'."

He pauses. "Well that's slightly depressing."

I roll my eyes as Zeke takes his place in front of me next to Shauna. Christina gets up, feeling squished I'm guessing, and goes to the other chair.

"The theme itself may be depressing but it does come with some perks," I say.

"And what do those perks entail, may I ask?" Zeke butts in.

I sigh and point to the kitchen. "There's at least 12 more pints of ice cream in the freezer. You each can have one, but if-"

Before I can even finish, both of them have sprinted into the kitchen.

"If either of you so much as touches any cookie-related ice creams, I'll ensure you can't have children!" I scream after them. All of the girls snicker, knowing I am completely serious.

A silence can be heard in the kitchen while they debate over their options.

"Is brownie fudge and Neapolitan okay to take?" Uriah's voice rings out.

I think about it for a moment, then reply, "Yeah!"

Dipshit One and Two both come rushing back in with their respective ice creams.

"Wait, which one of you is Dipshit One and which one is Two?" I ask curiously.

"I was wondering when you were going to find out about our secret identities," Zeke says, wiggling his eyebrows. This gets a small laugh out of me. "Now, I am, as it should be, the one with greater recognition. May I present to you, Dipshit number One!" he exclaims as he strikes a superhero pose.

"And may I present to you, the much cooler of the two, Dipshit number Two!" Uriah follows up, also striking a similar pose.

I giggle again. I would never admit to it, but I am actually kind of glad Lynn invited them now. They could provide some much needed laughs.

"Alright, alright, we get it! You're both dipshits! Good for you! Now sit down and shut up so we can finish this stupid movie!" Lynn says.

"Before we do, though, may I ask what exactly this party with a suckish theme but brilliant perks was thrown for?" Uriah asks, plopping back down between me and Mar again.

"She and Four are on a 'break' that she orchestrated herself," Lynn fills in, finger quoting 'break'.

"Wait - you and Four broke up?!" Zeke exclaims, jumping up and grabbing onto my shoulders. He shakes my shoulders a few times. "Why would you do this to me?! Why?!" he yells dramatically, but I can sense a bit of actual worry in his tone.

I grab Zeke's wrists and push him off, covering my neck up again discreetly. "We're on a break. A break and a breakup are two different things, Ezekiel. Use your ears."

He huffs. "You did not just call me by my full name."

"I did, and I will continue to do so until you get your fat butt out of the way so I can see the screen." He huffs and sits back down. "Much better," I reply.

"So why did you and Four take a break? You never really told us," Shauna asks me softly.

Fresh tears spring to my eyes at the reminder, but I look down and take a few bites of ice cream to hide it.

"It's a long story," I bluntly say.

"We have time," Christina pushes. I make eye contact with her and can see the silent question in her eyes.

Is it because of Eric?

I pause, start to shake my head at her, then pause again. I guess Eric's attack could be considered a cause of our break, indirect as it may be. So I shrug instead. She frowns and a different question shines through.

Are you okay?

I look at her with a pointed look. Of course I'm not. She rolls her eyes and thinks for a few moments. She fixes her stare on my now-covered throat and raises an eyebrow. I bite my lip and anxiously pull the fabric up again.

It isn't until now that I remember I'm supposed to be responding to Christina's statement said before our silent conversation.

"Later," I say dismissively, breaking the bout of silence. It's then that I notice everyone staring at Christina and I. Was it that obvious we were having an exchange? The staring continues for longer than what is comfortable, and I find myself flushing.

"Can we play the movie, please?" I ask pleadingly. Luckily, Christina has the remote. The movie is unpaused within moments.

Everyone slowly starts to be absorbed back into the tv but Christina and Uriah. Christina stares helplessly at me, probably wondering about the injuries I've acquired because of Eric but obviously not going to ask about them. She'll leave me alone. Uriah, however, is a different story—I can tell by the way he looks at me. His frown says it all.

You can't fool me that easily.

I avoid eye contact with him. The less he knows, the better. Apparently, though, that's not what he thinks.

"Tris, could you show me where your bathroom is?" he asks me loudly, slightly drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

I clench my jaw. "Can't you just hold it? Or find it yourself?" At this point, I see Lynn frown as well, knowing something isn't quite right about our exchange.

"Unless you want me to pee all over your floor, I would show me," he says, challenging me to do otherwise.

Damn it Uriah!

I stare at him for a few moments, already knowing he's won but refusing to accept defeat. Eventually, I sigh and consent, knowing there's no way out of this. If he doesn't get me alone now, he will soon.

"Fine," I snap, getting up. If a single person in this room didn't know by now that I wasn't just showing him to the bathroom, I would be shocked beyond belief.

Not waiting for him to follow me, I start to march my way upstairs.

"You can play the movie! Besides, they're just kissing anyways!" I yell down. A moment later, I hear the sound of smacking lips. I roll my eyes and make my way to my room. I open the door and charge in, spinning on my heel to look at Uriah behind me. As soon as he shuts the door behind us, I explode.

"Did you seriously have to do that in front of everybody?!"

He holds his hands up. "I wasn't going to get you alone if I didn't."

I roll my eyes, knowing he's right but not dropping my guard. "It couldn't have hurt to make it more believable and slightly less distracting."

"It didn't hurt to do what I did either," he defends.

"Oh yeah, of course. But it seems to me that you're forgetting one little piece of information."

He raises an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"Nothing much...other than the fact that now everyone down there knows there's something more wrong than I'm letting on!"

"Hate to break it to you, Tris, but you just admitted to that one all on your own," he states with a smirk. I shoot him an annoyed look. "Look, I'm not here to interrogate you."

"Then what are you here for?" I snap at him.

"I'll tell you if you stop being so defensive," he shoots back.

"Who says I'm being defensive?" I say and cross my arms.

"Anyone who is the least bit intelligent."

"I wasn't aware you were a nose," I snippily say.

He rolls his eyes. "You don't need to be a nose to know that crossed arms and responses that avoid the main topic are signs of defense."

I sigh in exasperation. "Whatever. What makes you think I want to know what you have to say anyways? What makes you think I'll listen?" I snap.

"Honestly? I'm banking on that Erudite curiosity in you to spark to life," he admits.

I raise an eyebrow. "Seriously? That's all you've got?"

He shrugs. "Yeah."

I feel the corners of my mouth slightly turn up at his utter lack of preparation. I try to suppress the 'Erudite curiosity' rising up in me, but eventually I can't hold it back any longer.

"You're lucky you're so likable," I state.

"So does that mean my plan worked?" he asks hopefully.

"I would hardly call that a plan, but yes, it did."

He smirks at me. "I finally broke you."

I roll my eyes. "You won once, Uriah. Don't expect it to happen again."

"Right."

I raise an eyebrow. "So are you going to tell me…?"

"Sort of."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He starts to walk around my room, scanning the various objects. "I barely know you, Tris, yet I've seen you at an all time low. Doesn't that seem wrong to you?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"Listen, you know a lot about me that I haven't told anyone. Not Four, not Marlene, not anyone. I want you to know that you can trust me."

"I do," I reply honestly.

"Then will you answer my questions?"

I bite my lip and look at the floor. "Depends."

He sighs and flops down on my bed. "It's a yes or no question, Tris. Try again."

I'm fully prepared to tell him no, so I surprise myself when the answer that comes out of my mouth is a quiet mumble of, "Yes."

He perks up almost immediately. "Yes?"

I want to say no, but instead another yes forms.

He looks a little confused. "You sound really against this. You are saying yes, right?"

I carefully sit down next to him. "Apparently my instincts trust you more than my brain does."

He nods. "I'll start small, okay? If I cross a line, just say, and I'll move on."

I nod in understanding.

"What's your real name?"

I roll my eyes. Very mature, Uriah. "I'll tell you if you promise never to use it."

He grins. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Beatrice."

His nose scrunches up as if he just tasted something ridiculously sour. I smile at his reaction.

"Moving on. Why'd you move here?"

My smile disappears. "Already getting into the heavy stuff, huh?"

He frowns. "That's heavy?"

I shrug. "The full answer is."

"How many different versions do you give people?"

"Honestly? I usually avoid the question altogether."

"Are you going to avoid it this time?"

I think for a little bit. Should I trust Uriah? Now that Tobias is gone I might need to someone else I can talk to.

But he's not gone, Tris. Remember? He's still a 'friend' right now. Plus, Christina already knows a lot of it. You could always talk to her. Caleb knows everything. Tori knows some things. You have at least 4 people you can talk to. You don't need Uriah.

I have my answer within a few short moments. "No. I'm not." I take a deep breath. "Should I go bad to worse or worst to less bad?"

He winces. "Bad to worse…?"

I nod slowly. Now I have to decide whether Eric or my parents' deaths was worse. And although I feel terrible about it, I have to choose Eric. Yes, my parents' deaths wrecked me, but I've been starting to accept it, whereas Eric keeps coming back to haunt me every night. He breaks me, I start to heal, he breaks me again at my weakest, I begin to find happiness, and then he attacks me at that source of happiness, almost repeating the past. He brought me back to the very first breaking, just ten times worse. He constantly breaks me over and over and over again with no remorse, and I'm not sure if I can take t much longer.

I'm convinced that this is some sort of game to Eric, seeing how many times I'll break until I shatter. And honestly, I'm curious how I haven't reached that point yet. Then again, maybe I have and I just don't realize it.

"When I was fifteen...the day of my birthday...my family let me plan a short trip. I've always loved the sea, so I chose to go to an aquarium in a town an hour away from where we lived. We...we never made it."

"What do you mean you never made it?" he asks me solemnly. I have a feeling he already knows.

"Drunk driver...he...he…" I can't bring myself to finish the sentence. I swallow hard. "My dad...he didn't suffer. Caleb...well, he's an entirely different story. But my mom…"

I blink several times and squeeze the blankets underneath me. I sniff in an effort to keep everything in. I jump when I feel a hand on top of mine. I spin my head towards Uriah. He gives me an encouraging nod and a little squeeze of my hand. Something about the interaction makes my fears about opening up to him disappear completely.

"I...I watched my mother die." I take in a sharp breath at the word. I see no reaction from Uriah except for a slight change in his eyes. "I know you guys wonder why I wear this necklace," I say and start to take it off. I take my hand from Uriah, unclasp the necklace, and give it to Uriah's open palm.

"Be brave?" he questions.

"They were her...last words. She gave me the locket before she…" I sigh. "She said it was so she could give me one last gift, but I think there were more reasons behind it than that."

He nods, but his eyebrows are furrowed with concentration. He fiddles with the charm for a few moments and eventually catches the switch that pops it open.

"My God, it feels like they planned for this to be their last gift to you. This gives me the feeling of death just as much as a funeral home does," he says after looking at the pictures.

I find a chuckle within me to give. "Your Candor is showing."

"Sorry," he apologizes and closes it. He transfers the necklace from his hand back to mine. I clench it in my fist tightly.

"I woke up in a hospital later and was given the news that my entire family was gone." I swallow hard.

"But that was a lie. Your brother is still alive." I nod. "How?" he asks curiously.

"I can't tell you that. At least...it's not my story to tell."

"Alright…then tell me about after. Bad to worse, right?"

I purse my lips. "Actually...I'm going to jump beforehand."

He frowns but stays silent. I take a deep breath.

"When I was thirteen, I had this huge crush on this guy, but he was two years older than me and I thought I'd never stand a chance. But I was proven wrong when one day he pulled me aside during lunch and asked me out. From that day forward, I had it all. A happy family, a huge group of friends, a boyfriend I thought loved me, good grades, popularity, everything."

I swallow hard and subconsciously touch my tingling neck.

"A year and two months later, after my fourteenth birthday, my brother threw a birthday party of his own. I never liked the party scene; crowds, alcohol, and drunks all in one room never appealed to boyfriend saw this and asked me if I wanted to get out of there."

I faintly hear Uriah take in a sharp breath. I hold a white knuckled grip on my locket in one hand, and my sheets in the other. Uriah, once again, sees this and places his hand on top of mine.

"We...we went into my room and he asked me if I loved him. I was fourteen and I had a boyfriend who doted on me and was very protective. I told him I did. It wasn't until later that I realized it wasn't at all protection or doting that he was pulling. It was control and mark of territory."

I stay silent, searching my mind for words.

"He...he had a knife, Uriah," I say, my voice shaking. His grip on my hand tightens. "I tried to fight him, I did...but all that left me with was an ugly scar."

I let go of my locket and trace my stomach where I know the scar lies.

"I passed out. All I remember are the events leading up to it. In a way, I'm glad. But I also can't help but think that if I was awake, could I have stopped it? There was an entire house full of people...eventually someone would have had to hear me, right?"

I take and release a large, shaky breath. Tears prick my eyes.

"Tris...don't focus on that, okay? You'll only dig yourself into a deeper hole if you do," Uriah softly tells me.

"I know…" I sigh. "I know."

"There's more, right? Do you want to keep going?" he asks.

"How'd you know there was more?" I ask.

"Your face. It was still holding secrets." I raise an eyebrow. He shrugs. "Candor aptitude, remember?"

I bite my lip and nod. "Yeah...there's more." I take another breath. "Skipping forward to after the crash. When I finally dragged myself back to school, my ex somehow turned everyone against me. My two best friends had already replaced me and had no trouble telling me that. Everyday I came, and everyday my ex and his lackeys beat me up until I was limping and ready to pass out. Every single day my ex told me that it was my fault my family was dead. I believed him. I made a vow to myself that I'd never speak again, if only to save me from saying something I'd regret. To save me from some pain."

"Tris…" Uriah starts to say.

"It got really bad," I softly interrupt. "I started to cut, and I thought it helped to be in control of at least part of my pain," I explain. "About a year ago, I tried...I tried to end it. Tori found me in time and I, once again, woke up in a hospital. That was when Tori decided to move us. As soon as she found this job we were packing up and moving to a different state...and then I met you guys," I finish quietly.

Uriah keeps quiet, seemingly unknowing what to say. Then he finally says, "We were moving from bad to worse, right?"

"Yes…?"

"I'm hurt, Tris. I can't believe that meeting me was the worst thing to ever happen to you."

I am unable to hold back a smile. "Well, at least you were memorable."

He snorts with laughter. "If I wasn't, I'd be worried."

"You'll always hold a 'special' place in my heart, Mr. Dipshit Two."

He laughs once more then goes into a serious state again. He squeezes my hand, lets go, and throws his arm over my shoulder. "Are you okay with telling all of that to me?"

I nod and rest my head on his shoulder. "I am. Besides, it'll be nice to have someone else to talk to about all of this. You'd be surprised at how often it comes back to haunt me."

He sighs. "The past has a funny way of doing that."

I shake my head and harshly laugh. "Uriah, I don't think you get it. I mean literally come back."

He moves away from me and frowns. "What do you mean?" He thinks for a moment, then his face contorts into one of anger. "It was Eric, right? That guy at the fair, you said he was an ex, right? He's the one who did all of that to you?"

I purse my lips and nod, looking at my lap. I see his fists clench and he breathes heavier than before.

"I should've beaten him when I had the chance," he says, seething with anger.

"Uri…" I softly say. "He's been arrested."

He looks shocked. "Wait—when? On what charges?"

"Umm...without court, the charges are assault and rape. With court, they would be assault, a slight possibility of attempted rape and murder, and breaking and entering," I finish in a whisper.

"Breaking and entering…" he mutters, frowning at me. Then something seems to click. "Tris, when was he arrested?"

I bite my lip. "Four days ago."

He raises an eyebrow. "Are you aware that Four has been out of reach for the last three and a half days? And that you've been out of reach for the exact same time period? Except for today, of course."

I gulp and fiddle with my fingers. "That's because...that's because he was with me."

He nods slowly, but knows I'm hiding something. "And can you tell me why he was with you?"

"I…." I sigh and clear my throat. I stand up and toss my phone at him. "That'll explain more than I ever could."

He looks confused. "What do I look at on here?"

I shrug. "I don't have any apps on there other than the preinstalled ones. It won't take you long to figure it out. And no, it's not my texts or phone calls you should be looking at," I say before he can ask.

I go into the bathroom, but before I close the door I say, "Three, six, eight, seven."

I sink down onto the floor and rest my head on the wall behind me. I pull my knees to my chest and pick a spot on the opposite wall to stare at. I keep my eyes trained to the wall, wondering how I got myself into this mess. My whole life is a mess right now.

What could I have possibly done to prevent what's happened to me? Even if I could go back in time, I wouldn't know what to do first to change the course of the future, aka my present. Everything is so jumbled and compact that changing one thing would not be enough to alter anything big. With my luck, I'd make the future worse; I could accidentally cause Caleb to die as well as my parents in that accident, cause Tobias and I to break up for good after our fight, which could then lead to Eric doing God knows what to me with no one there to stop him.

I softly groan and rub my head. I can't go back in time, no one can. I need to stop torturing myself like this. If I want to heal, I need to stop thinking about the what ifs and could haves. I have to accept what's happened and move forward from there. But even that process could take awhile. I don't want to wait that long. I want Tobias back now.

I sigh. I want Tobias, not need.

No. That's wrong. I need Tobias, just not right now.

Wrong again. I need him all the time. I think for a few moments. What am I trying to say?

I want his presence. I have him and his love; I have what I need. I just want his presence...which I can't have until I heal.

But I don't want to wait that long. I have to, but I don't want to.

A knock comes from the door, startling me. "Tris? Are you alright?" Uriah asks, concern dripping from his voice.

I quickly stand and open the door. His face is also concerned, as are his eyes.

"Yeah," I say, but it comes out scratchy. I clear my throat and try again. "Yeah, I'm okay. Four stopped him before he could do anything too bad."

He shakes his head. "That's not what I meant." I frown. "I meant, are you okay mentally? Emotionally?"

I soften at his understanding. "I just...I've lived through it once and heard it twice...I didn't want to watch it too. I've had enough. I...I don't know, Uri. I'm scared about what's going to happen next. I don't open up to just anybody, and now I'm going to be expected to do it to a whole room full of strangers. And I don't even know if they'll believe me or not."

Uriah frowns. "Tris, you're not going to be alone during that. We're coming, all of us will. We'll be in that room full of strangers, whether you like it or not. We're not leaving you alone."

I look at the floor. "But what if they think of me differently after that?"

"They will. Of course they will."

I snap my head up at his bluntness. I roll my eyes a moment later and turn my gaze back to the floor.

"Look, I know you're part Candor and everything, but you should learn to at least keep some things to yourself," I say, hurt.

He sighs. "Tris, you always assume the worst." I slowly look back up. "They're going to think of you differently. You can't change that. But they won't change their thoughts about you into negative ones. I know for a fact that they'll think of you as braver, stronger, and more intelligent than any of them."

"How do you know that for sure?" I whisper.

"Because that's what I think of you."

"Even after you watched that video?" I ask unsurely.

"Especially after."

I feel tears well up in my eyes. Uri sees this and takes me into his arms, wrapping me into a gentle hug.

"Thank you," I quietly tell him, blinking the tears away.

"Don't thank me," he states shortly. He pulls away from me. "Can I see your neck?"

I nod and pull my, Tobias's, sweatshirt down. I feel the fabric leave my neck and I know that the newly forming scar is showing. Uriah frowns as he looks at it.

He touches his thumb lightly to the cut and runs it across. He shakes his head and takes it off.

"He's a sick bastard," he states plainly.

I softly laugh. "Finally, something I can agree with."

He smiles at me and joins in with my laughter a moment later. "Well, I am usually right."

"The key word being 'usually'," I retort.

He rolls his eyes at me. "Marlene gives me enough of this to last a lifetime. Please don't add on."

I laugh again. I lightly squeeze his fingers when it dies down. "Really, Uri. Thank you for being there for me. It means more to me than you know."

He goofily grins at me. "Are you ready to go watch some more happy couples smooch and eat your ice cream that's probably melted by now?"

I grin. "That sounds perfect."

Guys, I am so sorry for not updating. I wish I could say that it won't happen again, but it probably will. Life has been very, very rough lately. It's getting a little out of hand for me, so much so that I'm scheduling appointments with therapists. I won't go into details about what's happening because that's between my family and I, but I want to thank you for all of your support. Also, to throw another complication in there, my computer no longer works so I have to update from work after hours...I'm writing whenever I feel like I can! This chapter was a sort of filler chapter, as you've probably figured out, but they will begin to get more exciting after this. I can promise you that!

Anyways, can we shoot for 690 reviews, 335 favorites, and 395 follows? I'm hoping to talk to you guys sooner rather than later, and no, I still have not check my PM's….I'm sure it's full. But it is on my agenda to do before next chapter! So if you've PM'd me, please don't think I'm ignoring you! I'll check it as soon as possible!

Until next time!:)