Chapter Twelve

All Consuming

Jack slowly opened the door and peeked in to Pitch's room.

Pitch still lay where Jack had last seen him although his face seemed twisted in anguish as his eyes darted back and forth under closed lids while his fists gripped the sheets so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.

Jack Frost silently walked up to the bed, peering down at the boogeyman, "Uh... Pitch?" he said softly.

Pitch's eyes shot open as he gasped; his head shot back to look at Frost as if the boy was about to attack him. Realizing he was just having a nightmare, Pitch breathed out relaxing a bit as he let his head sink back onto the pillow. He glanced at Jack now looking very tired before letting his eyes drift away to nothing in particular as he responded dryly, "Frost. What do you want?"

A look of concern momentarily washed over the boy's face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just thought you'd like to talk. Tooth told me everything. I'm sorry,"

Pitch only blinked and sighed. He didn't wish to speak to anyone especially when they were taking pity on him. A long moment passed before Pitch stated gloomily, "I don't feel like talking Frost. Just let me go back to sleep." He could feel himself withdrawing into a numbness and even though he had no intention of going back to sleep, he just wanted the boy to go away, so he could go back to the lull he'd found between waking and sleeping where he was devoid of most thoughts and feelings.

Jack raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Okay, if that's the way you want it." He turned and walked through the door. "When you feel like talking, look me up." he said before leaving.

Pitch didn't even acknowledge Jack now as he continued to stare at the wall. The fearlings within him roiled like a churning wave mentally pulling at his conscious mind inviting him to fall back into oblivion and leave such pains behind, and for a moment he was tempted because hurting this badly was all encompassing, but knowing what they'd taken from him set a fiery fierceness to that part of his will that he would never be denied his memories again. It built a rage against them and himself, and for this, the fearlings were pleased. Rage was an emotion they could work with, so they quietly stoked these flames to roll through his core to harness whenever Pitch was finally able to surpass the melancholy state he'd allowed himself to permeate in to.

Later that evening, Tooth came back to Pitch's room and knocked. "Pitch?"

He heard her, but he chose to ignore her now. Why couldn't they all just leave him alone? He didn't want to talk about how he felt. He didn't want to dwell on it at all. It was hard enough to think about on his own, and to talk to any of them about it left him feeling vulnerable and exposed. She had seen them though, some of his most intimate and sacred memories. He felt stripped bare by her now afraid of what she might say to him, to any of them. It made him reluctant to speak as if he could avoid that pain simply by ignoring it, but that was not the case. Instead, that pain was swelling in him and being pushed down to settle alongside his anger as it built into a volatile mix.

Not getting a response, Tooth flew off through the hallway. She had to tell North... or someone. She zipped by several yetis, turned a corner, and almost slammed headfirst into Sandy.

Sandy smiled tipping a hat to her in salutations, but his warm demeanor changed to that of worry seeing that his friend seemed determined and troubled. He signaled a question mark over his head furrowing his brow.

"It's Pitch," she said. "He's not answering his door. I'm worried." She went off into a lengthy explanation about her giving Pitch the tooth and the memories he saw after she activated it. "If I had known it would throw him into a depressed state, I never would have given the tooth to him." she said after finishing her story. She sighed heavily. "I feel like I messed everything up instead of making it better."

Sandy listened looking quite enthralled as she spoke nodding along, but before he could respond, Bunnymund's voice wrung out from behind her, "Wow, wow, wow. I was coming by to see how everything was going, and I heard the tale you've been spinning ta Sandy. Did you talk to North about this? Giving Pitch back his memories? What were you thinking lass? Don't you remember how Jack getting his memories back made him strong enough to beat Pitch the last go around, what if you've given Pitch the same edge against us? This could be dangerous mate," Bunnymund was staring at Toothiana looking slightly miffed that she could have put them all in danger just to help Pitch.

"I don't think it's working like that with Pitch," she said. "Like I said, it's thrown him into a deep depression. He doesn't want to see or speak to anyone."

Bunnymund shrugged, "Maybe that's a good thing since usually when his mouth is running; I want to shut it for him. Besides, who cares if Pitch is depressed? After everything he's done before he came here, heck since he's come here! Oh yeah, North and I just spoke in depth about your boyo, and he caught me up on what he's been up to," Bunnymund rolled his eyes as he huffed, "Cry me a river already."

Sandy just stared blinking as he looked between his two friends who had very different stances on the situation.

"I know you haven't been in favor of all of this, but we still must try to help him." said Tooth. "It's the nice thing to do. Besides, if we don't try to help him and change him, we'll be fighting him again. And the next time might not go as well as the last time."

Bunnymund's ears flattened as Toothiana spoke a grimace plastered on his face as he didn't really agree with helping Pitch and was more of the idea of just containing him, but the others seemed to think that it was the man in the moon's plan to help the big jerk. Bunnymund wasn't too sure about it, but he did trust his friends. He sighed acquiescing, "Fine, Fine. Let's go talk to North and see what he suggests to help the bugger."

Tooth, Bunny, and Sandy walked to North's office, picking up Jack Frost along the way. Once they were standing outside the door, Tooth was the one to knock.

"Come in," North's voice boomed from inside. Tooth pushed open the door, entering. "Ah! And may I ask what brings all of you here?"

Bunnymund frowned folding his arms, "Why don't you tell 'em Tooth." He was sure if he told North, it would come out in a manner his other friends might not appreciate, and as much as he was apathetic towards Pitch, he did care about his friends and didn't wish to upset them.

Tooth sighed and flew forward, stopping in front of North's desk. She retold the story to North—everything from her giving him the tooth up until present.

"He's retreated into a state of depression now, and refuses to speak with anyone or see anyone." Tooth sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, North, I didn't mean to mess things up."

North said nothing as he leaned back in his chair, his mind still digesting everything Tooth had said.

Sandy floated forward making an image of Pitch and pouring dreamsand over him to make him sleep and dream as he had no other recourse to battle sorrow as a mute.

Bunnymund knew hope might be inspiring, but he had no thoughts on how to make a being like Pitch hopeful. It didn't help that he had a hard time wanting to make the spirit hopeful after all the trouble he incessantly had caused them.

"That's a good idea, Sandy." Tooth smiled.

Jack Frost finally spoke up. "Did it show in Pitch's memories what happened to his daughter and wife?"

Tooth shrugged and shook her head, sighing again.

"What are you getting at, Jack?" asked North.

"I just thought that maybe... I dunno..."

Bunnymund tilted his head thinking hard before looking to Sandy, "Maybe if he can find a light of hope in his dreams, it might snap him out of it."

Sandy smiled liking the idea but still feeling unsure if it would be enough. He turned to look at North who had stayed silent about the situation since Tooth had finished her explanation.

Finally, North sat forward. "I can't say I'm happy with what you've done, Tooth. But what's done is done. I know you meant well. I just wish it could have gone better." he sighed, looking around at everyone. "Hard to say what to do next. Although I think Bunny and Sandy have something." he turned to address Bunny. "What hope do you speak of? What could possibly snap Pitch out of state?"

Bunnymund grew still as he thought over everything that Tooth had told them. The first time he'd heard her explain to Sandy about Pitch's memories he hadn't really fully listened as all he'd cared about then was what perils they could have faced if Pitch had turned on her. But, as she retold the tale to North, he was ashamed that he had been so heartless. Their mission was to find a way to redeem Pitch, and Tooth had been trying to do her best with the tools she held dear. Perhaps they all should be using their gifts in a similar fashion to pull him back from where he was over pushing him further over the edge. "That's hard to say mate. There has to be something that he wants that he can attain. The memories Tooth described are diametrically opposed like a yin and yang. The problem is that they're both a manifestation of the family that he lost. I don't think we can bring them back for him. Hope comes from the heart, it's about new beginnings. Maybe we need to show him that he can have one to."

North nodded. "Good point,"

Tooth nodded in agreement. "That's good, Bunny. I never would have thought you had it in you."

Bunnymund gave her a soft scowl, "Alright, I gather I deserved that one. So where do we begin?"

Sandy just smiled arching a cloud of dreamsand to flow out and run along the hallway as he gently glided after it. The sand cascaded softly down the halls ricocheting off the walls and occasionally felling an unobservant elf along the way that dreamed of cookies and candy canes. Sandy continued to follow the wave of sand towards Pitch's room.

Pitch had not moved, but his eyes registered the tendrils of dreamsand that first lit up his door frame and then wisped under the door in light flurries not unlike freshly fallen snow. He stared at them with an odd mixture of apathy and curiosity. Sandman was always a formidable foe, but on that first night he'd been brought here, Pitch had remembered his nightmares had been quelled and he'd had a dreamless sleep. He knew that Sandman had had to be behind it as there was no other explanation.

Now, he was curious if that was what Sandy had come to do now. He wasn't sleeping though Sandy may have believed it to be so. Pitch welcomed the sand and the thought that in his state of apathy it would take him away from his pain for just a little while as there was a solace in feeling nothing.

Pitch closed his eyes, but something different happened this time the sands drizzled down to blanket him. Every other time before, Pitch's memories had been buried so deeply that Sandy's dreamsand only acted to neutralize his nightmares, but now they touched something altered as the sand made his eyelids fall shut and for the first time since he'd become the nightmare king, he began to dream and actually enjoy it. His memories pieced together moments of happiness that he'd shared with his family, and although they were tinged with the sadness of longing, Sandy now hovered over him and poured his energies into Pitch to dissipate every attempt the fearlings made to corrupt them. It was taxing and it took all of Sandy's concentration, but he kept them at bay long enough to see a smile crease Pitch's lips even though silent tears still spilled from his eyes.

Jack remained standing in North's office, thinking over everything Tooth had said about Pitch's memories. Something bothered and nagged at him, but he couldn't explain why or what it was. He thoughtfully tapped his staff on the floor and looked around the room as the other Guardians engaged in conversation.

Bunnymund's perfect ears flicked as he picked up the tapping of Jack's staff, but as he turned, he saw the troubled look on Jack's face which gave him cause for alarm. He stepped over to Jack now looking concerned, "Ya all right Jack? You look like somethings bugging you."

Jack turned an annoyed look to Bunny. "Just thinking about the subject that's been on my mind since all of this started, that I asked about earlier but no one knew the answer to. What happened to Pitch's family? Is there any way of finding out? Maybe if we knew more about his past, we could use it to help him somehow." he held up a finger to Bunny. "And before you answer, no, we are not going to go in there and knock the rest of his teeth out."

Bunnymund couldn't help but to give a soft chuckle at Jack's statement, "I won't suggest it; scout's honor," as if to make it official, Bunnymund drew his fingers to cross his heart before continuing, "I don't think him not knowing what happened to his family is making him like this, I think it's just the opposite."

Bunnymund frowned now his shoulders slumping. He knew well what it was to lose everyone you cared most about. He was the last of his kind after all, "When he's more stable, you might ask him, but l'd let him be the one to initiate that conversation. We can't change the past mate. That said, I don't think us knowing his past is relevant as it is to him knowing his past. Now that he does, all we can do is help him to build a better future with the knowledge that there is more out there than darkness."

Jack nodded. "Maybe you're right."

Bunnymund's nose twitched as he laid a paw on Jack's shoulder, "Everything will work itself out." He turned back to look over his shoulder at Toothiana and North, "Ya think everything is going alright with Sandy?"

North was still having a hard time grasping everything that was currently going on. He shrugged, "Is hard to tell. I expect we will know soon enough."

"Maybe after Pitch gets a good sleep he'll be better," said Tooth with a smile. "And will be ready to talk with us."

Sandy stayed with Pitch until the dreams melted into his subconscious and his mind had moved into a compartmentalized state of sleep where he no longer dreamed or had nightmares, he just slept peacefully taking in slow even breaths. The little golden man watched Pitch now carefully, and when it looked as though he would not wake from this restful sleep for some time, Sandy rose into the air and drifted out of Pitch's room back towards the others.

The four were now huddled around North's desk discussing the situation as Sandy quietly reentered the office.

Bunnymund scratched at the back of his head nodding his accent, "It's possible he might just need a little time to adjust. Either way, I know I said I thought it might have been a bad idea to give him his memories, but the more I think about it, the more I think Pitch needs to be whole if we're ever going to fix him. I'm sorry about my outburst earlier; you did good Tooth."

"Thank you," Tooth nodded. "It's nice to know that I didn't make a mistake after all." she looked over at Sandy. "Sandy! How's he doing? Did it go well?"

Sandy's small smile he wore broadened and his chest swelled with an obvious feeling of accomplishment being quite pleased with his efforts as he nodded vigorously. Sandman had never before been able to turn the tide of Pitch's mind from nightmares to dreams which was always vexing when he had tended to Pitch in the medical bay, but it was not unexpected since the two were polar opposites and Pitch had always remained guarded or at least the fearlings within him had remained strong enough to keep the golden man from intruding where he didn't belong.

Pitch had continuously shut himself away from Sandman so thoroughly that he'd never actually been able to touch into what Pitch had been thinking while he'd slept, but Pitch had wanted the dream that Sandy was spinning so desperately that his will to have the dream overrode the fearling's defenses allowing Sandy intimate access.

Over Sandman's head, he displayed a picture of Pitch sleeping and over the sand-made Pitch's head, an image of a little girl twirled in a carefree dance that denoted the child was happy and so was Pitch.

Tooth fluttered up to him, clapping her hands in glee. "That's wonderful! Now we just have to wait and decide what we're going to do whenever he wakes."

"Excellent!" North said, nodding to Sandy. "I know I haven't said much since all of you came in here with story of what has happened. Truth is, I did not know how best to respond. I was little upset at first, when Tooth told me story. But we're all here to help redeem Pitch in whatever way we can. And Tooth has done what she sees best. Now that I think about it, I think she did right by giving Pitch his memories. Though, some parts of this are troubling. These... fearlings... that are inside him... They may pose problem for him as well as us. If it is true that he can never separate from them, then how do we go about redeeming Pitch? How can you redeem someone if they will always have evil in them? It is hard problem."

Bunnymund straightened looking at North fully, "We all have our own inner demons to face mate; granted they aren't literal as in Pitch's case, but they are still there. He's driving the bus so ta speak, so the biggest hurdle Pitch is going to have ta face is gonna be Pitch. If you've demonstrated anything while having Pitch here is that it's a matter of willpower for him to keep them in check… or for us ta get him to want ta keep them and himself in check. Now whether that motivation is going to come from a want to do better or from a fear of consequences… well again, that's going ta be up ta Pitch. All we can do is try to put him on a path that encourages him ta want what we want, but ultimately, it's going ta boil down ta being his choice."

North nodded in agreement. "You speak truth, Bunny. It is Pitch's choice and his choice alone. I hope he makes right choice, for all our sakes and his."

Bunnymund shook his head, "With that one, you've got a hard road ahead of you North… not saying it can't be done, but Pitch always seems to make things much more difficult on himself and everyone else around him than he needs to."

North again nodded, his brow scrunching in thought. "I think it is time we include him in our daily activities. Make him feel accepted and needed. He seems to like tending to my deer. We must allow him to keep doing that. And if there is other chore he wishes to do, encourage him rather than make him feel like slave. His words, not mine."

Bunnymund crossed his arms, "I'm not bringin' him to my warren. No way. No how!" His shoulders slumped, "But maybe when Easter is getting close, I can get him to help paint some of my eggs… maybe." He was still frowning at the notion not really sure he wanted Pitch messing with his eggs.

North frowned. "He is not to leave Pole, unless he proves by then that he can be trusted, which I'm doubtful will happen. But I do like idea of egg painting. Maybe you could bring them here for Pitch to do."

Bunnymund smiled amused now, "In the meantime maybe you can get him some practice painting your toys."

North pondered that for a few minutes before nodding. "That is excellent idea, Bunny! I will make note to suggest that to him when he starts coming out of depression."

Sandy looked concerned flashing an image of Pitch working with a sun coming up and down a few times over before changing the scene to depict Pitch with the rest of the guardians assembled in a circle followed by a question mark.

Bunnymund frowned, "Yeah, I gather we should try to do something social with Pitch that's not having him doing chores. Although with his attitude, he'll likely ruin the event."

"Both of you bring up good points." North mused. "But what social thing do you suggest where Pitch would feel accepted?"

Bunnymund shrugged, "Leave that up to Mr. Fun," he pointed at Jack now smiling at the boy knowing he'd likely make a good suggestion.

Jack perked at the mentioning of his name. "Me?"

Sandy glided up next to Jack giving him an encouraging thumbs up.

Bunnymund smirked, "Well you and Toothy have been spending the most time with him; I sure as heck have no idea what Pitch would find fun."

"A walk through the graveyard might do it." Jack smirked.

Bunnymund laughed, "I'm sure the creeper might like that frostbite, 'cept North ain't got no graveyards here at the Pole… least none I know of."

"No, no graveyards here." said North.

"I was just kidding." said Jack, laughing. "It's going to be hard knowing what Pitch would enjoy doing. From the time I've spent around the old grouch, there isn't much he cares for except for spending time in the reindeer stables and staring off into the gloom and doom."

Sandy's face lit up and a picture of a cake illuminated above his head.

"A party? Hmm… I don't know Sandy. Pitch doesn't strike me as the type to like parties, but hey who knows, it might just be what the grouser needs," Bunnymund shook his head having nothing else to add.

"A party?" said Jack.

"Ooo! That sounds like a good idea!" Tooth squeaked.

Bunnymund just rolled his eyes slapping his forehead, "I have a feeling this is gonna be a disaster."

"A party sounds like grand idea!" said North, "We could have it near Christmas tree, and invite all of yetis, including Old Bill. You remember Old Bill, yes? Only yeti that can play Jingle Bells on washboard."

Sandy was beaming at the idea shaking his head enthusiastically.

Bunnymund just sighed but couldn't help smiling just to think of his friends trying so hard to please Pitch of all people, "So when do you guys want to do this?"

"Soon as we can get ready." said North.

"This is going to be exciting!" said Tooth, darting around the room.

Jack shook his head. "As much as I'm liking the party idea, I'm just not sure Pitch is going to."

Pitch slept longer than he normally would due to Sandy's dreamsand, but because of the fact he'd been lying in bed since the early afternoon, he woke in the very early morning hours which was more ideal for him anyway being that the workshop was quiet, devoid of others, and the night would always call to him as being more calming as it was his natural time to move about after all.

Feeling listless now in his room; Pitch rose pacing the length of the room slowly to pause once more in front of the portholes that the moon shone so brightly through. He observed the glacier walls and the wind whipping flurries in gusting bouts to dance across them thinking that he wished he were on the other side of the wall. His somber thoughts from earlier that day flooded through him once more, but they had been softened slightly by the good dream that Sandy had mercifully given him. The dream had left a twinge of sad longing, but it had lightened his heart from the despair he'd been feeling overwhelmingly lost in before it. These memories weighed on his soul making him feel his humanity acutely, and it left Pitch more confused than ever as the human part of his nature warred with the aspect side of his nature. He understood why the fearlings would drive this part of him away from seeing the light of day because it made him hesitate against their obvious choices for him. He wasn't their puppet any longer, and that in itself was reassuring as he'd already lost so much control lately; to regain a little of it within himself was bolstering.

Leaving his room now to wander down the hall, Pitch was grateful that there wasn't anyone watching out for whether he had left his room. This note of confidence made him feel a minute amount of freedom as he glided down the hallway back to the main hall where the massive Christmas tree lay. It was even more enchanting in the quiet of the night Pitch found as he moved once more to the banister to peer down at it for long moments before deciding to descend down the spiral casing to get a closer look.

Everything was set just so, and there were hand carved baubles that he'd not noticed before, one in particular caught his eye. It was an intricately whittled ornament in the shape of a schooner. Pitch delicately pulled the trinket from the tree now cradling it in his hands as he studied it carefully kneeling down in front of the tree. His daughter had had a similar looking ship that she would tear across their homestead much to her mother's dismay, but Pitch loved this about Emily as it showed her wild and adventurous heart, and he'd always turned a blind eye to her antics in that manner. As he thought about her now, he stared down at the ornament and tears welled in his eyes. Since he'd regained these memories, he'd shut down all his feelings about them refusing to feel anything more than the numbness of shock. But now as he sat crumpled in front this enchanted tree meant to evoke the feelings of togetherness and family Pitch clutched the trinket to himself finally letting the sob that had been crawling up his throat escape in a sorrowful wail. His shoulders shuttered violently with his mourning now letting himself fully feel the anguish of losing her as he wept uncontrollably.

North quietly came up behind Pitch and gently put a massive hand on the smaller man's shoulder.

Pitch barely registered the warm hand; he still gripped the bauble tightly as the tears refused to stop even in the face of North. The shame of crying in front of the man did nothing to help him regain his composure as he hitched, "I …I don't want to feel North, It's so much easier not to, but I can't… I can't stop it." Like a tide he continued to shutter the burden that lapped at his soul as his mind turned over so many ways he could have maybe done just one thing different to have stopped the avalanche of his life that robbed him of his family.

North remained silent, not feeling the need to speak just yet. Gently, he turned Pitch around to face him. With a compassionate smile on his face, he knelt down and pulled the nightmare lord into his arms, hugging him.

Pitch stiffened at first not wholly sure how to feel about North hugging him, but there was something inviting to be enveloped by the huge man's massive arms leaving Pitch to melt into them to cry his misery into North's chest.

After a few minutes, Pitch finally calmed feeling spent from the experience but better within this newfound comfort North had offered him. Pitch was afraid to move now just inhaling the scent of North which was a peculiar mix that smelled faintly of gingerbread spice and freshly cut wood.

His hug was different than that of Toothiana. Both were comforting in their own unique way, where Toothiana's was delicate and soft with a gentleness that was touching and sweet. North's was strong and encompassing. It was an odd sensation because the man towered over him leaving his hug to feel like that of a father's protection and security. It was a sensation Pitch couldn't even remember feeling anymore as his many years had erased the impression.

Pitch finally withdrew to stare up at North with a small bit of wonder that these guardians still would extend so much kindness to him when he surely didn't deserve it. And not only kindness but caring which had become so alien to Pitch. He stared back down at the schooner figure in his hands now as he spoke softly, "She used to have one similar to this… it was one of the things that made her smiles the brightest."

North continued to stay silent, just listening and being there, as he looked down at the ornament, nodding.

"I… I'll put it back on the tree now. Sorry," Pitch almost whispered as he ran his fingers over the indentions on the wooden figure thinking North probably didn't appreciate him taking things off of his sacred tree.

Before Pitch could move, North reached out and took his hand, carefully folding the nightmare king's fingers around the ornament and pushing it toward Pitch's chest. He shook his head, smiling, "Until now, it is just ornament. The fact that it holds beautiful memories for you makes it something special."

Pitch blinked looking from the Cossack to the ornament, "You… you're giving it to me?" It was a momentary question before it was a realization as Pitch looked back up to North's warm smile as if seeing the man truly for the first time, the gesture brought further tears to his eyes as a sad smile creased his lips and a small choked, "Thank you," escaped his throat.

He looked back down now at the trinket more so to hide his face and the tears that still silently leaked from the corners of his eyes than anything. He felt like he'd cried more in this week here with the guardians than he'd done since becoming the Nightmare king. He'd been so very good at pushing his feelings down, swallowing them, using them to fuel his anger, but in his current state, these feelings only served to overload him with these repulsive emotions that he felt ill equipped to maneuver through. It was a sea of uncharted awareness that had begun to spring up within him forcing Pitch to see what he'd previously adamantly denied himself with these simple interactions with another person.

Most had felt reviled by Pitch's presence, for what he stood for, what he'd done, and this was an understood state of being. He'd accepted this centuries ago even if it didn't settle with him well. He knew what he was and his place in the world. That life steeled him against feeling pity or remorse, it deadened his humanity, and Pitch was just fine with that because one has to preserve if they are ever to move forward. But now, he was being forced to endure simple acts of kindness towards him or just the gentle touch of another person. He'd gone so long without them that now these acts intimidated and confused him, leaving him vulnerable. On some level he kept telling himself that he didn't deserve them and never would because deep down, he was still a monster, and no monster deserves forgiveness let alone kindness and affection.

North nodded. "It is yours." he continued to smile. "Take care of it. Cherish it." He walked a few steps forward to stand in front of Pitch, gazing at the Christmas tree before speaking again. "Pitch, it is never easy to feel. Sometimes it can be hard—one of hardest things in life. But it is most wonderful, beautiful thing. It is one of the things that make us who we are. One of the things that gives us pleasure."

Pitch was silent now just thinking about what North had said. Feeling wasn't giving him pleasure now, but he knew that thinking of his family had. Even if it was a memory tarnished with sadness, he understood the implications of why it was sad was that he no longer had them and that when he did have them, they made him understand what true happiness was. He stood to look up once more at the tree feeling much lighter in heart and spirit. North would not know how much he had helped by just being there when Pitch was feeling so distraught and alone. Pitch peered back up at the man now taking in his visage where it normally would have intimidated Pitch to stand so close to North when he hadn't the strength to fight him, now it was almost comforting to bask in the other man's potency because for once he didn't fear him and actually felt comforted by his presence. "I… think it's been a lot to take in. Sometimes I have a hard time seeing things… like you… you guardians do."

North nodded. "Is understandable. You have allowed fear to take control of you and have lived that way for very long time. Fear is feeling that blocks out all other feelings if it is not held in-check."

Pitch looked away slightly ashamed by the accusation since the statement was more true than North could know, "Fear… it has its merits, but yes, I can't say that I've wielded it wisely at all junctures." It was very hard for Pitch to admit this to himself let alone North, but the man had given him something to digest mentally, and at this moment he was willing to confess some small failing on his part.

"Very true," North nodded again, "Fear does have its merits. In certain circumstances, fear can be good thing. We all fear at some point, and that is okay. It keeps us alive. But fear is also like fire. It can be dangerous, and if out of control, it will feed and consume. You have taken right step in admitting that you have not wielded it wisely. It takes courage to admit mistakes."

Pitch was silent for a long moment thinking that what he'd wanted most as an aspect was to be believed in, so it was easy to feed the need for fear in simple justification that the more he'd spread the closer he'd come to being believed in again. That and it had felt ever so good to bask in it as it made him swell in power; he'd been a glutton for power. And spread fear he had, he'd worked so very hard, centuries even, to carry out his last efforts, and when it was down to only one child, he had lost everything in a moment like blowing out a match. Thoughts returned to that child, Jaime, and his words, 'I do believe in you, I'm just not afraid of you.' His brow drew down now as these considerations went through his mind and he pondered aloud, "If I can harness fear to use it like you use your powers, do… do you think I could ever be believed in like you and your guardians?" He was afraid of North's answer, but he stared at him now to see his every reaction.

North was quiet for a long time. He reached out to poke at a few ornaments, sending them twirling, "Maybe," he finally said. "Though, do you know how to use fear in that way? Do you know how to harness it to use for good?"

His eyes followed North's hands watching the baubles spin and how the light caught them, "I… I don't know. I've used fear for good as I spoke to you earlier about, but I don't think fear can become a figure like you, Toothiana, and… the rabbit," Pitch still wasn't much of a fan of Bunnymund and sneered mentioning him at all. It grated his nerves that that flea bag even was capable of being seen by children easily and not himself.

North chuckled. "It already has become figure." he turned to look at Pitch. "You are the Boogeyman, are you not?" he raised an eyebrow. "You said that you cannot separate yourself from fearlings. So you are still Boogeyman. You will always be Boogeyman. But maybe you can change how world perceives Boogeyman."

Pitch frowned, "Belief in me is fleeting and not enough to resonate tales that you guardians have attributed to you, oh everyone loves and believes in the guardians, but they used to believe in me; they used to tell tales of me far and wide in the dark ages. I was respected then not swept under the rug as a bad dream like now." Seeming a bit miffed now Pitch grumbled crossing his arms, "And what way exactly would you see me perceived as that would fit your perception of what fear should be that would actually get me believed in?"

"I thought you were going to harness fear for good." North studied Pitch. "Boogeyman is figment of stories parents tell to children to make them behave. Who says Boogeyman has to be like stories?"

Pitch scowled, "You're suggesting I reinvent myself? In this day and age? Do you even know how hard it is to inspire fear in children at all these days? …even if I could, I don't see how that's getting me any closer to being believed in," the conversation was souring his mood, and he didn't suspect North would give him any suggestions he actually wanted to hear.

North lifted an eyebrow. "Okay, then. If you do not wish to reinvent self, then what do you suggest?" he waved a hand. "This is your chance to redeem self-to save yourself. What path do you think you should take? What path do you want to take? How do you think you should go about earning belief that does not involve consuming the world in fear? If you can harness fear and use it for good, how exactly would you approach it?"

Pitch blinked as he listened realizing he didn't really have any good suggestions either. He shrugged looking away now, "Well, I… I could… oh I don't know! You're not exactly fond of the idea of me spreading nightmares even if those nightmares are harnessed to encourage children to stay safe or behave." His eyes lit up and he held up a finger to make a point, "There is Halloween! That's a holiday to many children that fear is seen as fun, but… it's only once a year," Pitch looked stricken to think of only gorging himself on fear once a year and with only a pale comparison of fear that would be laughable to him contrasted to a blood curdling scream. Sure the fat man and the rabbit seemed to be fine with one day a year, but they didn't seem to get the same fulfillment Pitch did, that he needed or at least told himself he needed.

North's eyebrows perked, then he nodded his head once. "We shall see. You have long way to go yet before you earn freedom. In mean time, I think it is part of your job and responsibility to come up with way you wish to spend your life. As well as practice harnessing your fear and getting it under control. We can only help you in so many ways. It is up to you to make your own life choices. And I hope they are good ones this time 'round."

Pitch hated when North made mention of his lack of freedom especially in conjunction with 'you have a long way to go' which was very disheartening and frustrating. Edicts that North, of all people, would give to him about learning to control fear was insulting to say the least, but Pitch kept his anger of North's words down to a simmer now as he knew letting it be known at this point would not serve to help him get out of being a prisoner at the Pole. It would in fact hinder him more than anything. He would bide his time… he didn't have a choice but to.

Not wanting to get riled up further by the current conversation, Pitch excused himself from North telling him that he would think on what he had said, but for now he wanted to rest a bit before tending to the reindeer which seemed to be a good enough excuse to North who merely wished Pitch a good night as he watched the nightmare king depart.

Holding the schooner, Pitch stared at it turning it over in his hands actually considering North's words about life choices now over just being annoyed by them. Could he really offer anything truly good with fear? And at what cost to him would conforming to such a life mean?