Disclaimer: What would I do if I owned Hetalia? Hmmmm... most likely make every episode revolve around Germany and Italy- I'm so biased.
A/N: Well, here we go, Chapter 7 away! Expect a lot of cussing, and dickish behavior, since well... it is Romano's chapter after all. I hope you enjoy it all regardless! *look at me, getting this one up so fast, that's what insomnia does to me... I always end up writing*
Chapter 7: Romano Vargas proves that, even if he's coughing up blood, he's still tough
5th July, 1968
-O-
I love my Fratello, I truly do- but, why does he have to be such a goddamn bleeding heart all the time? That stupid, blond meatcake stood in my doorway, looking at me in shock. What? Do I have blood on my face, or some thing? Oh wait, I do...
"Romano." Feliciano actually snapped at me, which made me roll my eyes at his bitchy attitude, but I did stop glaring at that brain dead German. See, I can be nice... enough.
"Ummmm, should I leave Feliciano?" Ugh... he even SOUNDED German, and that harsh, guttural tone grated against my ears.
"No, Ludwig. Romano needs to say he's sorry first." Feliciano shot me a firm glance, his plump lips pulled thin, warm eyes now hard, and serious. "Take back what you said."
Fuck, why should I apologize for spouting the truth? Why did I have to feel guilty, when Feliciano was the one who invited this asshole to live in our home... but, that flat look in Feli's eyes was actually kind of frightening- who knew that pansy could be intimidating, eh? It took a few moments to dislodge the poison in my mouth, before I huffed out a very feeble, "Sorry... bastard." Look at how accommodating I could be, and people say I'm hard to get along with.
"Good," my brother nodded his head decisively, actually accepting that weak ass apology. "Now that you two have been introduced, Ludwig can go settle in for the night."
"Wait," a sudden thought occurred to me, "where is he going to sleep?" Feliciano couldn't meet my questioning stare, a heavy blush painting his soft cheeks.
"The couch Romano, where else? It pulls out into a bed, so it should be fine."
Anger began to seethe under my skin again, making my blood boil hotly. "And where does that leave you, hmmm? Where are you going to sleep, while that macho meat-head is taking up your bed?" The stupid German looked confused, his mouth opening to utter nonsense; probably something about potatoe's or Nazi's... but Feliciano cut him off, boy was he testy tonight.
"I'll be sleeping on the floor," he gave us both a warning glance, "no one argues. It's not gonna kill me. Good night, Fratello." With that, Feli grabbed the thing by his overly muscled arm, and lead him out of the room; shutting the door softly behind them. I did what any brother would do in that moment, I flipped the little prick off, and stuck out my tongue.
I didn't sleep very well that night, just knowing that German bastard was in the same room as my little brother... probably thinking extremely kinky things about him, because that's what German's did.
~O.o.o.O~
6th July, 1968
When I woke up in the morning, my Fratello and that German were already gone; off to their stupid jobs. Huffing a pissy sigh, I went over to the fridge and rummaged through it for some of Feliciano's left-overs. I would never say it to my idiot of a brother's face but, I secretly loved his cooking. He could take anything, and turn it into a masterpiece of utter deliciousness.
My brother's unnatural cooking abilities aside, I heated up some brunch and sat at the table all alone like every other day since I contracted this fucking disease. Ever since I got sick, Fratello and Nonno worked their asses off for me, and while I appreciated their sacrifices, it could get pretty lonely in this small apartment sometimes. I poked listlessly at my food for a moment, before internally slapping myself in the face for getting depressed. I had a lot to be happy for, especially since today seemed like it was going to be a good day. So far I didn't have a single coughing fit, which was always a good sign; maybe, I'd feel up to giving Antonio a visit...
My face heated up uncomfortably at the thought. I had not seen that retarded Spaniard in quite some time, and I was starting to miss that stupid, goofy grin of his. Not that I'd ever admit that to his face, I still had my pride damnit! He was my best friend, and- and well, secretly I wanted more than that. I honestly don't remember exactly when and how I started developing feelings for that idiot; but... a small part of me has always suspected I liked him from the very beginning.
Our GrandFather's worked in the fields together, mostly planting and harvesting tomatoes. We met when I was Fifteen, only a few months after I had contracted Tuberculosis. He was a sappy ball of too much joy even then, so bright and cheerful it almost hurt to see his carefree smile. How I had wished that I could smile so freely like that... but, those kinds of smiles looked ridiculous on my face; a scowl suited me best.
Antonio had gone to hug me when we were first introduced, but his Grandfather grabbed his arm, pulling him in to whisper something in Spanish to him. The way Antonio's soft green eyes darted my direction, the pity that devoured that light in his eyes... I knew exactly what was whispered to him then. It was the truth, probably something along the lines, "Don't touch him, he has Tuberculosis." I was so used to the furtive glances, the words whispered behind hands that didn't quite shield me from their harshness. Yet to my surprise, Antonio pushed passed his Grandfather, and enveloped me in the warmest, tightest embrace.
Scowling, and trying to push that idiot away, that was my very first memory I can really recall of him. I really enjoyed that hug then, the only people who embraced me like that were Fratello and Nonno...
When- when Nonno died, Feliciano was so torn apart, I didn't know how to comfort him. Antonio came that day and stayed with us, holding the both of us through our tears and screams. That's just the kind of guy he was, always there for you with a smile, and warm arms to hold you when you were about to break. That's... that's why I loved him. With all my heart, I loved him...
BANG. BANG. BANG.
Startled by the loud noise, I nearly fell out of my chair and shrieked, when I heard the voice that accompanied the banging at my door. "Loviiiii~ Can I come in?" Fuck... it just HAD to be the same stupid Spaniard that I was just fantasizing- I mean cursing to the depths of hell.
I righted myself in my chair, and waited a few moments for my erratic heartbeat to slow down. "Yeah, yeah. You know how to use the door idiota, unless you already forgot how to do that." I yelled out sarcastically, my trademark scowl curling my lips. The door was flung open a second later, and a pair of strong arms were enveloping me enthusiastically.
"Oh, Lovi! Your blushing face is as red and cute as a little tomato!" Antonio smiled, and poked my cheek with his index finger to prove his point. I tried not to melt into his forceful embrace, my fists beat weakly against his sculpted chest; my face turning to hide my reddening cheeks.
"Oh shut the fuck up already..." I grumbled, finally managing to free myself from his arms that were as strong as steel, but warmer than the sun. That simpleton just smiled brightly, and ruffled my bed head into an even further rats nest.
"So," Antonio said with his raspy Spanish accent filling up the small room, "I thought we could go do something fun today! My Lovi senses were tingling, and I got the feeling that you needed some cheering up, so here I am to the rescue!" My heart felt fluttery and warm in my chest because of Antonio's words, and the use of that silly nickname he gave me years ago. He was the only one who called me that, after my middle name, Lovino.
"Tch," but I wouldn't let him know how happy that made me, "you sound fucking creepy, you know that?" He just shrugged off my comment and continued to smile like the simple minded ditz that he was. "But, since I have nothing better to do, I guess we could go do something... idiot."
~O.o.o.O~
Thirty minutes later I was dressed in a light gray tanktop, and blue jeans, walking down a street hand-in-hand with Antonio, who insisted upon it just in case I might pass out from the heat. People gave us furtive stares, and dirty looks; but we ignored them, because we never gave a shit what any one thought of us. Besides, it wasn't like we were an actual couple anyway...
"So, where are you taking me anyway dip-stick?" Antonio shook his head, and smiled coyly; a mischievous glint in his bright green eyes.
"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it?"
My eyebrow twitched in irritation, and I scowled while flipping him off with my free hand. "You're a real pain in my ass sometimes, you stupid tomato gobbler."
Antonio only pouted, but carried on in dragging me to this mystery destination. A few minutes passed by in mutual silence, the sound of laughter and tinkling music carrying on the wind. I opened my mouth again to ask the dumb Spaniard where we were going, and let out a groan when he covered my eyes with a firm press from one of his large, rough hands. "Uno momento Lovi, you'll see the surprise soon."
So, I just huffed out a sigh to indicate my annoyance, but let the bastard lead me blindly; n-not because I was actually enjoying the warmth of his skin against my face... I was just indulging the stupid bastard okay?
"Ta-dah!" Antonio shouted joyously, his hand flying away to reveal my narrowed eyes. The sun pricked painfully at my retinas for a little bit, but when I regained my focus, I found brightly colored tents and carnival rides surrounding me. "Isn't it the greatest surprise ever?!" That idiot actually looked proud of himself...
"Tch, more like the lamest block-head..." I glanced up to see his face fall so drastically, that he almost looked like he was going to cry. "...but since you went to all the trouble, I guess I can try and have a good time, however hard it may be..."
My pride was worth sacrificing, to see him look so damn happy.
~O.o.o.O~
Okay, I'm only going to admit this once. I- I actually did end up enjoying myself at that stupid little carnival. Not that I actually liked all of the deranged Carnie's and all of the bratty, whiny children; but, well... with Antonio there, always holding my hand and smiling, it made it all worth it.
We rode on the Ferris wheel and the bumper cars at least five times, shared a candied apple, which was especially intimate, since we chomped away at it at the same time, our lips almost brushing a few times. Then Antonio played some weird balloon popping game, and won me a bright red teddie bear. Though as ridiculously fun as all that stuff was, the best part was the Tunnel of Love, which he practically forced me on.
In the darkness, as we sat inside a swan shaped boat, he put his arm around my shoulders and held me close to his broad chest. It was a little annoying, because he was so over protective of me, and I was pretty sure he only held onto me so tightly, because he was afraid that I might fall out of the boat. At that moment though, I tried not to dwell upon that sinking feeling in my chest. I blushed freely in the darkness, and leaned just a bit further into Antonio's comforting embrace; and for the first time in so very long, I felt my mouth curve into a tiny smile.
~O.o.o.O~
We left the Carnival after the ride was over, the sun starting to set behind clouds and Sky scrapers. Antonio dragged me to a small, Italian bistro not too far away to get dinner. Even though I scowled, and argued with him, the stupid bastard wouldn't take no for an answer; even though he had already dropped twenty bucks for the both of us at the Carnival. I always felt uncomfortable when people spent money on me because- I knew I could never pay them back...
Because of my disease I couldn't get a job, and any money that I received from the State went to pay for my medical bills. Feliciano and I could barely afford food in our stomachs and a roof over our heads; and I was fine with that. Antonio could be annoyingly persistent though, so in the end I gave in, and we went out for dinner. We ordered Pastrami sandwiches (with extra tomatoes) and a bowl each of Minestroni soup.
He picked out a small table by a big bay window that overlooked the street, but was still secluded in a corner away from the other patrons; I wasn't sure if it was just random, or if he was taking into consideration how much I hated to be around people. Then, like the Gentleman he was, he pulled out my chair for me when I went to sit down; making me blush, and shoot him a weak glare. A waiter brought us some water, and our soups while we waited on our sandwiches. We sipped at our drinks, and I blew on my soup to cool it down a bit, before shoveling a spoonful into my mouth.
Antonio surveyed me intently, while I ate, his food not even touched yet. I fidgeted under his stare, those smoldering green eyes making me feel hot, and uncomfortable. "So," Antonio was the first to break the silence, "are you going to tell me why you were upset earlier?" My eyes widened in surprise, mouth falling open as I sputtered for words. I forgot he possessed a rather disturbing, "Lovi sense," as he liked to call it...
"I never said I was upset, now did I shit-face?" I felt the walls closing in on me, because he had a knack for getting me to tell him my deepest, closely guarded secrets; well, except for the one that involved this ridiculous crush that I had on him, that I've harbored for years.
Antonio just shrugged as he replied, "You didn't have to, I just know you. Now, what upset you?" Geez, was he actually cutting to the chase for once? I think my heart stopped, and pigs grew wings...
"I-it's nothing..." I mumbled, stuffing another spoonful of soup in my mouth, so I didn't have to talk. I took an extra long time to chew and swallow, and the whole time Antonio's eyes were fixed directly onto mine. He stared, and stared, and STARED some more, before I gave into my rising temper, and exploded. "Okay fine!" I shouted, standing up and slamming my hands onto the tabletop; making him, and a few other people around us jump. "You really wanna know what's bugging me?
"My brother let some meat-headed German bastard, that he barely knows, move in without even consulting me first! He just expected me to be all fine-and-dandy with it, just because he said this asshole was his BEST friend! Do you realize how that makes ME feel? That some stranger means more to him than I do! Then there's the fact that every time I see your fucking face, I'm torn between punching it, or kissing you so hard it hurts!"
My chest heaved, and my head felt slightly fuzzy from lack of Oxygen; my cheeks burning as I realized what I had just screamed loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear. Antonio's eyes were wide, and for once a stupid grin wasn't plastered across his handsome face. I bit my lip, as tears began to sting my eyes; pooling along my lower lids, but I refused to let them fall now... not in front of him, because his pity was the last thing I needed right now. His mouth opened, and I knew he would probably let me down as easily as possible, probably try to instantly cheer me up because he hated to see people unhappy. Before he could try and soothe my fresh wounds, I did the only thing that made sense- I gulped in a big breath, and ran way.
Shit...
I ruined everything between us in one fell swoop. There was no way in hell he felt the same way about me- I don't think the idiot knew that two men could be together. Asphalt pounded beneath my feet in steady tandem with my ragged breathing; the only thing that I could, was to keep running, even if my lungs were on fire, and my chest felt like it was going to explode. How could I face him again? Antonio was probably disgusted with me...
"Lovi! Stop, just let me talk with you." Antonio's voice shouted from behind me, but I willed myself not to turn around and look at his pleading face; it was the last thing I needed to see, so my resolve would not crumble. No, keep running- don't let him see you crying...
A painful spasm ignited through out my entire body, and it sent me reeling forward into the asphalt; and I began to cough uncontrollably. Antonio reached me just in time to see me hack blood onto the pavement below us.
Two warm arms wrapped around my trembling shoulders tightly, while I fought with all my strength to stave off the dizziness swimming through my head. His hot breath panted against my neck, along with a weird hot liquid. It took me a few moments to realize that they were tears...
"Lovi," he whispered, his voice sounding just like my breaking heart. "Please, don't run away from me any more. I can't handle not having you in my may think that I don't share your feelings, that I don't love you; but that's so far from the truth! It's because I do love you, that I never told you my true feelings.
"You have enough to deal with, without having to worry about how I feel. Never in my wildest imaginings, could I ever believe that you would love me too."
Antonio's curls tickled the nape of my neck as he laid kisses against my shoulders, not caring evidently if people saw. Tears were falling from my eyes so heavily, there was just no way I could say that I wasn't crying. It felt so good to hear him say what I only dreamed he could, to feel his body tremble along with my own as we were wracked so full of these new emotions. I sucked in a giant lung full of air, to help steady my thundering heartbeat and dizzy head.
"You're so fucking stupid," I managed to snap when I recovered; but, I still couldn't push him away like so many times in the past... not when I felt so warm, and loved.
~O.o.o.O~
After a while we collected ourselves off of the pavement, and laughed over how stupid we must have looked; just two grown men crying, and holding each other on the ground like children. Antonio sweeped me up into his arms like a fucking Superhero, and carried me home regardless of my protests. Halfway there, I must have fallen asleep in his arms, because the next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed; Feliciano sitting in a dining chair, looking worried beside me. The spastic fucktard practically spilt water all over me, when he offered me a drink.
There was silence for a bit, while I gulped down the ice-cold water greedily. Feliciano's gaze was faraway, and I could only guess at what he was thinking. "Toni told me he would come get you when you feel well enough, to move out." Feliciano refused to meet my eyes, his gaze stuck to the floorboards... he looked incredibly sad for some reason, but I knew he would never tell me what was wrong.
"Why the fuck for?" I replied hoarsely, my throat still feeling like a desert.
He flinched at my harsh tone, and began to fidget; a guilty look falling across his features. "He wants you to stay with him for a while, at least until you feel well enough to come home... because of Ludwig." It hurt a bit, that even now, he was choosing that damn German over me. Ludwig could have been the one kicked out, not me- this was my home, and it felt like I was being forced out of it. Before the anger could bubble over, and I would lash out at my timid twin, I had to remind myself that Feliciano sacrificed so much of his own life to take care of me...
I needed to give something back to him, and if he wanted that German bastard to live with him, then it really was the least that I could do. My cheeks flared at the thought of living with the man who just recently confessed his mutual love for me. I didn't want to tell Feliciano just yet about our relationship, even though I knew he would still love, and accept me; I just didn't want the spastic idiot to flip out, and try to get us married...
I just looked away to hide my burning face, and mumbled, "Whatever."
A few days later, Antonio came to help me pack my suitcases, and then I was saying goodbye to the Brother I had never been more than a day apart from. I couldn't help feeling a little emotional, because even if I didn't show it often, I loved my brother with everything that I was. He was in tears, and I comforted him, telling him that I would be home as soon as I could; that I would try and lay aside my prejudices against that German. Feliciano smiled a bit, and nodded at that, and it made me feel good to finally reciprocate his kindness.
Antonio and I left after that, hopping into his red Chevy. I didn't know it then, but that was the last time I would live under that thin roof, in that small apartment we had learned to call home, so many years ago.
T.B.C.
E/N: D'AAAAAAWWW SpaMano fluff FTW! I hope this chapter was just as enjoyable as the last six, since this is my first time writing for these two as a pairing. It did come out rather fast huh? I pretty much decided to occupy myself with writing, instead of dwelling on my brother going to College for the first time, and the anxiousness of not seeing him every day, because we're very close. :) In fact he has a Hetalia oneshot up here, titled "At the End of the Day," with Turkey/Greece as the pairing. *Shamelessly plugs him because I want him to know he's a good writer*
Anyway, chapters as always will be updated sporadically so I don't know when I'll post the next one. Oh, and I was asked by a friend one day what my inspiration for this story was, and I had to think about it, since it just sort of happened one day... but, if I had to say what inspired me, it would be an anime called Baccano! and a novel called The Samurai's Garden, by Gail Tsukiyama. In fact, the main character of that book Stephan, lived with Tuberculosis, so I guess that' where I drew inspiration for Romano's character in this.
So, I wish you all the best and will see you again in chapter Eight, where once again Ludwig's perspective reigns!
Hasta la pasta!