Joseph was at work, and Sadie was still on maternity leave. She sat in her room, crying her eyes out. The world was being cruel to her again, and this time it was overwhelming. The baby was too much to handle by herself. She needed help, but didn't know where to find it. Her parents were in Norway, and her sister in prison, she had no immediate family. And to pay someone to help would sink the family. On top of that, she still had to worry about the wedding in three more weeks. Everything was set up, ready to go, and there was no further preparation but she thought that she did everything wrong. Her mother always stressed about her having children after she was married, having sex until after the marriage, all of this stuff that she did wrong with Joseph, but right with Martyn. She waited until after marriage to have sex with him. Just to realize that it was a one-and-done deal. She wiped her eyes and stood from the bed and walked to the nursery that was recently constructed. She saw her daughter lying in her crib, fast asleep. She knew in the back of her mind that she wouldn't be a good mother. There was this generational curse in her family. Her grandmother was a bad mother, and her mother was bad at times. She doesn't want her child and potential children to be bad mothers like her. She wanted her to have a good mother. She knew Joseph was a good father. He was a better parent than she was. She wanted to be with this man, but she wanted to wait before she had children. She didn't want to wait too long. If anything, she wanted to get her tubes tied so she wouldn't have to worry about this kind of deal. In all honesty, she was just afraid of the burden. She wanted the curse to end, and let it pass her family. She picked up her sleeping daughter from her crib and kissed her forehead. Her green eyes opened and she yawned. Sadie felt the tears welling in her eyes. She knew what she had to do to solve her problem. She had to put Josie up for adoption. It would kill her to give her away, but she just wasn't ready to have a child. Even though, she already had her in her arms, went through all of the pain of childbirth, and carrying her, she still didn't know if she wanted her. She had to run this over with Joseph first. Hopefully he would be fine with him, and he would understand.
She knew that Joseph would be home late. He had to work extra hours to get the money to buy the necessary items to raise Josie. He might not have to do that anymore. She started to fall asleep at midnight, but she kept herself awake by pacing around. All of the possibilities just crowded her mind, and made her feel anxious. She paced around for a while before her legs gave out. She sat down on the couch and sobbed into her hands. She didn't want to do this. Her own flesh and blood is upstairs, and she's thinking about giving her away to some people who she doesn't know. That would destroy her but also relieve her. She was so disoriented, what she really needed was to be told that what she was going through was okay, and that she needed to raise Josie herself with the man she loves. Joseph walked in the house and set his keys down in the bowl next to the door. He saw her crying.
"Sadie, what's wrong?" He walked over and sat down with her. She wiped her eyes and tried to calm herself down a bit. He placed his hand on her shoulder as a way of comfort.
"I.. I've been thinking, Joseph. I've been thinking about putting Josie up for adoption. His hand suddenly moved off of her shoulder." She looked at the man next to her. He looked tense. She curved her eyebrows in. "Is something wrong, Joseph." She turned her body towards him, to give him her full attention.
"Oh, nothing. Just the fact that I have three murder cases, with two weeks to do them, and now my fiance doesn't even want our child." She looked at him surprised.
"Joseph?" She whispered. She could see the heat rolling off of him, like radiation. She knew that if she left right now, he would calm down, no problem. But if she stayed to try to make it better, something might happen. Possibly something bad.
"Oh, am I scaring you again? Well, you should be." Too late, and also too soon. She got up out of her seat and tried to leave him to cool off. He grabbed her wrist and restrained her. "Where do you think you're going?" She tried her hardest to keep her cool. The smallest slip-up could either have her sprinting out of that house or in the hospital.
"Listen, Joseph, you need to calm down." She said it as calm as possible to come off as a friend and not an enemy. She tried to get her arm free from his grip
"Don't fucking tell me what I need to do." He said it through his teeth. He pulled her closer, just to intimidate her even more. It was working. She tried to get away from him, not even making any eye contact. She could see his eyes growing darker with each passing moment.
"Please, Joseph, let me go." She said it firmly, making sure her point got across. His jaw was tense and that meant she set a trigger off.
"Shut up." She gasped at the words he had just said. She needed to get away of this would go on all night. She stepped away, her hand still in captivity. Her eyes were filled -running over-with fear. She never saw this side of him before. So rough, heartless, and brutal. She started panicking and doing everything in her power to get her hand free. She honestly thought that she would be killed at that moment. She tried to break his grip, after the failing other times.
"Please, Joseph!" She pulled, trying to get her arm free. His grip was like a steel clamp, he wouldn't let go for anything. "Stop!" She yelled, grabbing his wrist.
"Shut up, bitch!" His other hand grabbed her neck. He watched her eyes widen. It felt like the life was being tapped out of her. Dots started to form in her vision. She was going to die. By the hand of the man she loves, she is going to die. Her legs started to weaken and she started to fall to the floor. She changed colors from red to pale to blue. With the one hand she had free, she tried to pry his hand off her neck. His eyes held that same darkness that she saw before.
"Joseph.. I love you-!" She started to grow weaker and weaker. Her vision went in and out of focus, and her eyes started to close. He then snapped back into it, and realized what he was doing. He let her go, and let her fall to the floor. She gasped for air and clutched her chest. She could still feel his hand on her neck, boycotting the life from going into her body. She was shaking and coughing violently. A few tears started to form in her eyes. This was the man that she loved more than anything in the world, and he tried to kill her by asphyxiation.
"Oh, God, what have I done?.." He bent over to help her up. She heaved, her lungs greedy for the air they have been deprived of. He placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to help her up. She thrashed around and kicked him, trying to get him as far away as possible.
"Don't touch me!" She shrieked, shoving his hands away. She started to cry, lying on the cold floor. He stood and walked to the couch. Her sobs died down to small whimpers and sniffles. She heard him crying. He really was sorry. And she shoved him away, refusing his apology. She stood, hand on her neck, and walked to her fiance.
"I'm so sorry, Sadie." He wiped his eyes. His glasses were off, next to him on the couch. "I don't know what came over me." She crouched down and cupped his cheeks, wiping away his tears. "I didn't want to hurt you." He continued to apologize.
"It's okay, Joseph." She wrapped her arms around him. He held her tightly. She found herself kissing his neck.
"I love you." He rubbed her back, his thumb snagging her bra strap. He ran his hand over her ass. She could feel his erection on her stomach. She rubbed her hand on his groin. He shifted in his seat. She pushed him back, to where his back met the cushion behind him. She took a seat on his lap. She unbuttoned his gray vest and loosened his red tie. He placed his hands on her ass, as she teased him by grinding her hips. She leaned in to kiss him. He felt his blood pumping faster. She wanted to feel him again. She unbuttoned her pants and stood to take them off along with her panties. She unbuttoned his pants and pulled his length from his briefs. She spit into her palm and rubbed it over his cock. She took down her hair and allowed herself to slip easily down onto his shaft. He moaned softly. Her hips moved in waves, making them both feel the same intensity of pleasure. She ran her hands over his chest, feeling the muscles through the fabric. She felt herself getting close, right at the edge of coming. She locked their lips, her breathing getting heavier. She grabbed his hands and put them on her hips. He gripped them tighter. She placed her hands on his knees and bounced on his cock. He moaned as she gasped every time she hit the sweet spot. She loved this man, more than anything in the world. She couldn't wait to be married to him. She felt herself release on his lap. He rubbed his hand over her sex. He put his hand to his mouth and returned his hand to her hip.
"I missed you, Joseph." She panted. She released him from her depths and rubbed his dick. He winced, feeling the pressure build up inside. She rubbed his sack, feeling it tighten more and more as he came closer to his orgasm. With a couple more movements of her hand, he came, his fluids dripping past her soft hand. She licked her hand clean after every drop of his jism was spilled.
"I missed you, too." He kissed her, tasting himself along with her distinct taste. He ran his tongue over her teeth. She played with the collar of his shirt. His hand ran through her long, brown locks of hair. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Sadie." He said between kisses. "You have no idea how much I love you and how much you mean to me." She broke the kiss and stared him in the eyes.
"Joseph, it's fine. Yes, you hurt me, but you didn't mean it. You don't have to apologize anymore." She stood and picked up her clothes that she dropped on the floor. He fixed himself and took off his white button up shirt and walked to their room. He put his clothes in the clothes basket and ran the shower. He allowed the hot water to run down his spine and through his hair. Sadie dropped her shirt and joined him in the shower. She winced at the temperature. She was going to have burns on her for sure.
She, in all honesty, was still afraid of him. She barely even wanted to sleep in the same room as him- let alone the same bed- just because of that little incident. She knew that he wasn't himself then, but the memory was there, and it wouldn't go away. She needed to let bygones be bygones, and move on. But that memory.. that memory would always be in the back of her mind and it will always follow her, and, ultimately, dampen her trust. That was too close a call, and it scared her. She could have died, by her fiance's hand, or she could have been severely injured. But, she just needed to get to the wedding, and then, and only then, could she get her trust back. For now, she just needed to let him do whatever he needs to do to get all of his anger out before he comes home. She can hope, pray, and assume that's what he will do, for her sake.