To Find the Light

by Debir

Picking up where Enter the Dark ended, Xena and Gabrielle search for Deerdra who is doing some searching of her own. Their respected journeys will impact their lives forever.

2. Chapter 2

"To Find the Light"

by

Debir

Chapter Two: "Learning"

Margret, finished teaching for the day, puts her teaching material back into the satchel. As the last of the children file out, a young man named Kuhhirt saunters past the children and up to Margret, sitting on the edge of the desk. It's a routine he insists on performing each day Margret teaches despite her rebuffs. He leans in to make sure she knows that he has had a bath recently. "Good afternoon, Frau Margret."

Margret sighs. This is the worst part of her day. "Good afternoon, Kuhhirt. I can't stay and talk, I need to get home."

Kuhhirt flexes his arm and chest muscles so that his bulges show through his shirt. "What is your rush, Frau? Stay and we can eat dinner together."

And once again Margret has to gently yet firmly turn him down. She would like nothing more than to tell him off, but she can't afford to make any enemies. "My answer is the same today as it was yesterday and the day before. No, dinner or anything else with you does not interest me. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a visitor and need to go home."

Kuhhirt's ego takes a hit. He hops off the desk, insulted. "And just who is this- person you'd rather spend time with?"

She ignores his tantrum. "I don't think that is any of your business. Excuse me."

She attempts to walk past him, but he grabs her arm and yanks her to a stop. "It's one of those- women who came through here some time ago, isn't it?"

Despite his vise grip, Margret is not afraid. She stares him in the eyes and deepens her voice, speaking with conviction. "Let go of my arm."

His release is immediate yet he still mocks her. "Are you going to put a spell on me now?"

Margret ignores him and walks away. He follows, still jawing at her, "I know what the villagers say about you. Witchcraft is frowned upon around here you know."

Margret stops and slowly turns toward him. She starts to reply, but changes her mind. Anything she says would just get twisted around and used against her. Kuhhirt would make sure of it. Instead, she gives him a Go to Hell look then continues on her way.

Still angry at Kuhhirt, once home Margret slams the door behind her and flings her satchel in the direction of the fireside chair.

The commotion gets Deerdra's attention. She rushes out of the kitchen and sees that it's only a flustered Margret. Not knowing what's bothering her, Deerdra jokes, "Did the children give you a bad time today?"

"No, it wasn't the children. It's this jerk that won't leave me alone." Margret kicks the satchel emphasizing the word jerk.

Deerdra crosses her arms, not happy that Margret isn't happy, "Does this jerk have a name?"

Worried what Deerdra might do to him, Margret back peddles, downplaying how she really feels about his advances. "I'm fine, really. Sooner or later he'll get bored and move on to someone else."

Deerdra isn't buying it. She heard the duress in Margret's voice. "What is his name?"

Margret keeps peddling, "Deerdra, don't go making something out of nothing."

All Margret's sugar coating is doing is convincing Deerdra that there's absolutely nothing sweet about this guy. "What-Is-His-Name?" Her tone is deep and very serious.

Margret mentally crosses her fingers, "Okay, I'll tell you. His name is Kuhhirt. He has a crush on me, that's all. He's harmless."

Deerdra purses her lips, "Uh, huh. Maybe this Kuhhirt and I should have a little talk."

Margret panics, "No! I mean, you won't need to. He'll get tired of my cold shoulder soon enough then move on to someone else. You'll see."

Deerdra isn't convinced but she doesn't press the matter, "Well, if he knows what's good for him, he will. Change of subject. Dinner's almost ready. You have time to clean up if you need to."

Margret can't hide her surprise, "Oh? I didn't think you would feel like cooking. What are we having?"

Deerdra beams, "Lentil soup! I didn't think your little woodland friends would appreciate me hunting down their bigger woodland friends so-"

Margret laughs, "So soup it is!" She kisses Deerdra's cheek, "I'll be right back."

Deerdra waits until Margret is out of earshot. She growls, "Kuhhirt."

Margret returns wearing a dress with a neck line as deep as the thigh split is high.

Deerdra's eyes bug out of her head, "Wow! That's... that's some dress."

Margret flutters her eye lashes, "Thank you. I wanted to look nice for out first dinner together."

"Well you certainly do- look nice, I mean. But this is our Second dinner together."

Margret slinks over to her then slowly runs her fingers down Deerdra's cheek and across her jaw. "Not alone." Her words ooze with seduction. She moves in for a kiss and their lips do touch ever so briefly before Deerdra backs away.

"Our, um. Our dinner is getting cold." Deerdra whips into the dinning room chair and begins slurping away.

Margret chuckles at Deerdra's nervousness. She cools it-for now. She sits herself down across from the slurping warrior. "So, what did you do today? Your mood has certainly improved."

Deerdra looks up from her bowl and fights with her eyes to stay focused on Margret's face and not her cleavage, "I took a hike on that trail behind the house and went all the way to its end."

"Oh yes, the view is beautiful. I go there often and meditate."

"I understand why. It is very calming and peaceful, made me wish Gabrielle were here to see it."

Margret reaches across the table for Deerdra's hands, "Oh, Deerdra."

Deerdra swallows the lump in her throat away, "I closed my eyes trying to stop the tears and I swear felt her standing beside me. That's when something odd happened. A warm sense of peace washed over me and I knew, just knew that one day Gabrielle would be standing in that same spot looking out at the same view that I was and that everything was going to be okay." She smiles, "It was an amazing epiphany. I tell you, my mind has never been this quiet and clear. It feels kind of weird."

Margret beams, "Your're ready."

Deerdra furrows her brow, "For what?"

"The enchantment I have devised to help you control your anger."

"My anger? I never mentioned that I have anger issues."

"You didn't have to. I could see in your eyes that you were fighting an internal turmoil. As soon as you and Gabrielle left, I began working on a solution."

"Gee, and to think I wasn't even angry then."

Margret softens her voice, "Yes, you were."

Deerdra thinks back, "I guess I was. I'm at peace now."

"Yes, yes you are. That's why I said that you're ready. Your inner demons must be quiet for the enchantment to work. That's also why we must get started, your demons will reappear."

Deerdra frowns, "Well, that's a depressing thought."

Margret gently pulls Deerdra close. Her tone is very serious, "That ongoing conflict is why you were chosen to rid mankind of evil."

Deerdra doesn't say anything, she just sits there looking at Margret. After a few seconds, she begins to laugh.

Margret backs off, confused. "What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry. You sounded so...dramatic." Deerdra mocks Margret's tone, "To rid mankind of evil."

Hearing her words echoed back to her made Margret realize how ridiculous she sounded. She joins in on the laughter, "You're right. No pressure."

"Oh, not at all." Deerdra takes on a news reporter's persona. "Deerdra Reese, mankind's survival rests on your shoulders. How do you feel?"

That brings on another fit of laughter. After a few moments, Deerdra composes herself.

Sniffling and wiping away happy tears Deerdra asks, "So, about this enchantment. How does it work?"

Margret grins.

In short order, they clear the living room of all of the furniture and, using soot from the fireplace, draw a large circle in the center of the room. Then, to indicate the four points of the compass, they place four candles an equal distance apart around the circle. They tie it all together with three candles in the center, one large with two smaller ones on either side. After lighting the candles, they sit across from each other inside the circle.

Margret holds up three small squares of parchment each with funny looking symbols written on them. She shows Deerdra the first one, "This symbol represents your desire to control your anger." She sets it beside one of the smaller candles then shows Deerdra the second parchment square, "This one represents your desire to stop hurting the ones you love." It's placed beside the other small candle. She holds up the third square, "And this one," she grins, "Is a bonus."

Deerdra eyeballs the black on yellow scribbles, "Okayyy. What's the catch?"

Margret is timid with her response, "There is a chance that there will be some sort of counter balance to the enchantment."

"Swell, more Gabrielle zombies. All of this will be pointless if I still can't get any sleep."

"No. No more zombies. After what you told me happened last night, I changed the, ahem, formula so it would boomerang back on its self. I hope."

Deerdra chuckles, "A counter for a counter. Okay, what's next?"

"I want you to clear your mind of all thoughts. As a matter of fact, I don't want you to think about anything at all."

Deerdra stifles a laugh. Margret shoots her a dirty look.

Deerdra straightens up, "Sorry."

"Now concentrate on the symbols. Stare at them until they are the only thing you see."

While Deerdra focuses on the symbols, Margret begins the incantation. The soft rhythm of the chant weaves its way into Deerdra's mind. The symbols swirl and melt together. Deerdra's heart and breathing increase, matching the beat of the words. Somewhere in the flow, she hears Margret speak her name. "Deerdra, look up and into my eyes."

Deerdra feels as though she is moving through molasses. She looks away from the parchments and over at Margret. It is like looking through a tube. Margret is clear, but the rest of the room is a dark blur.

"Good. Now don't move or look away. Just focus on my eyes and nothing else." Her words are an ethereal echo. Deerdra is as still as a statue. Beads of sweat dot her forehead. Margret takes Deerdra's hands and immediately the room begins to spin, slowly at first then faster and faster until their spirits whirl out of their bodies joining together to become one. The light that is one glows in the middle of the room for a brief but glorious moment then, just as sudden as they joined, the two spirits separate and re-enter their respective host. A collective 'gasp' then the two women collapse as a mysterious breeze blows out the candles.

Unseen by the two women, Kuhhirt has been perched under the window the whole evening. He's stunned, and a little turned on by what he has just witnessed, he slinks back to the village with a glint in his eye and a devilish grin on his face.

Deerdra and Margret lay unconscious for quite some time. Deerdra wakes first. "Wow, that was some serious mojo." She looks the room over and spies Margret curled up across from her, "Margret?" Deerdra reaches over the now cold candle and gently shakes her, "Margret, wake up."

Margret eases her eyes open then stretches and yawns awake. "Mmm." She sees Deerdra, "Oh, hello there. How do you feel?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing-whoa!" Deerdra scoots backward. "What is that?" She points at Margret.

Margret spins around, alarmed, "What?"

"You're surrounded by a bright light." Deerdra looks at her in awe.

Margret springs to her feet, "It worked!" She grabs Deerdra and jerks her to her feet and into a big hug, "It worked!"

Deerdra doesn't know what to think, "What does a bright light have to do with anything?"

Margret is emotionally doing cartwheels, "That's part of the enchantment. It means that you can 'see' or tell that I practice pure magic."

"So, does that mean I'll be better able to control my anger?"

Margret beams, "Yes!"

Deerdra pulls Margret back into the embrace and they stay entwined for a long time. Deerdra tears up and whispers, "Thank you, Margret. This means the world to me."

Margret leans back and looks deep into Deerdra's eyes, running her hand softly down Deerdra's cheek, "You're very welcome."

They exchange a brief, longing look then passion takes over. The kiss starts slowly then the fire between them builds. Clothes fly off as the women slide down to the bear skin rug.

Somewhere along the route to Margret's house, Xena and Gabrielle have finished making camp for the night and are sitting around the fire. A question has been bugging Xena to be let out ever since they started on this journey to find Deerdra. Xena does and doesn't want to know the answer, but the nagging has been keeping her up at night. She takes a deep breath, "Why Deerdra?"

Gabrielle's rummaging around in her satchel mumbling to herself, "Where's my ink and good writing quill?" Xena's abrupt words startle her, "Why what?"

Xena reframes the question, "Why all this trouble to find Deerdra? She's a big girl. She can't take care of herself."

Gabrielle stares at her. She can't believe that Xena of all people doesn't understand. Her answer is short and to the point, "Because she needs me-just like you did."

Xena mumbles, "I haven't stopped needing you."

Gabrielle looks up from making out her bedroll, "What?"

Xena covers, "It doesn't have to be you."

"Xena, she's lost everyone she's ever known. Her whole world has been turned upside down and broken into a million pieces. I'm all she has."

"I think someone as old as she is has learned how to adapt to being alone. She doesn't need you to hold her hand." Xena pokes at the campfire, "Is that the only reason you want to find her?"

Gabrielle pauses her smoothing out of her blanket then resumes with a smile, "No, there's something between us. Something good and I'd like to see where it leads."

Xena thinks, "Away from me." But she replies, "Forever the bard, huh? Looking for new people and experiences for your stories."

Gabrielle chuckles, "I've had enough adventures with you to paper all of Athens a hundred times over. But you have to admit, she does have quite a story to tell." She plops down on her bed, "That's not it, though. I feel-restless, ready for a change. Do you know what I mean?"

Xena's thinking again, "I know. It's the seven year itch and Deerdra is your new project. This won't last long. "I understand wanting change, shaking things up a bit." Xena sits on he bed, "Okay, Battling Bard. Let's get some sleep so we'll have fresh eyes to can track down this change of yours."

They laugh, but each goes to sleep wondering exactly what this change will mean for their relationship.

The morning after Margret's spell. Deerdra and Margret are laying in front of the fireplace under wolf skin blankets. Deerdra's back is to Margret and she in turn is wrapped tight around Deerdra.

Deerdra opens her eyes and at first enjoys the warm body pressed up against hers. But, like an out of control chariot, guilt plows into her. Her eyes well with tears and she clamps them shut in an attempt to dam the flow.

Margret wakes and kisses Deerdra's shoulder, "Mmm. Good morning."

Deerdra clears the lump from her throat, "Morning."

Margret snuggles up closer, "I could stay like this all day."

Deerdra doesn't. All she wants to do is get up, get dressed, and get out. "Yeah, um, don't you have a class to teach?"

Not the response Margret was expecting, "What?"

Deerdra stands up, taking the blanket with her. She's nervous and begins to ramble, "Teach. You missed yesterday." She glances around for her clothes, "You go ahead. We'll talk about last night later... the enchantment part, I mean." She continues t ramble while gathering up her clothes, "I'm going to take a bath then go for a walk. No, I should go for a walk then take a bath. Either way I'll see you when you get back. Bye." Deerdra dashes out of the room, tossing Margret the blanket and leaving her alone on the floor to contemplate last night.

Margret hugs the furry pelt, "What have you done, Margret? You knew she wasn't ready, but did that stop you? Nooo. You just had to go and do it anyway." She sighs and gets dressed, admonishing herself under her breath. Deerdra has yet to come out of the bedroom, so she yells to her as she gathers her teaching materials, "I'm going to the village now, Deerdra! I'll be back before dark!" She pauses hoping for some sort of reply. Receiving none, she continues, "When I get back, I'll explain both sides of the enchantments to you, okay?"

Deerdra yells from the bedroom, "Okay! See you then! Be careful!"

"I will! Bye!" Margret shakes her head, "I am such a fool."

As soon as Margret closes the front door, Deerdra pokes her head out of the bedroom. Seeing all is clear, she walks back to the scene of the crime. "What have I done?" She looks down at the candles, "Other than make a mess in more ways then one."

She proceeds to pick up the candles, placing three on the mantle and two on the hearth. Unnoticed, however, are the three pieces of parchment stuck to the bottom of one of the mantled candles.

Deerdra talks to herself while she sweeps dirt and candle wax, ""Why am I feeling guilty? It's not like Gabrielle and I are still together." She lets out a big sigh, "Because in my heart we still are. That's why." She whisks the pile out the door and gets of whiff of fresh pine air, "I think I will go for a walk."

She mindlessly wanders through the forest, ending up on a hill overlooking the village. She scans the buildings, "Yep, just as we left it. I wonder if the food at that inn is as good as I remember?"

Making her way through the village, she nods greetings to those she passes-out of courtesy mainly. Deerdra only knows one person and she's busy molding minds. She stands outside of the inn, "Well, it looks the same on the outside." then flings the doors open and smiles, "And it looks the same on the inside." She saunters up to the counter and orders the same meal. A bowl of stew with fresh bread and a mug of ale to wash it down.

Over in the shadows, Kuhhirt is holding court at a table with some of his buddies. He spots Deerdra and cuts his bull session short, slipping out the back door before she turns around. He pauses, "If she's here, I wonder if Margret is as well." He casually walks over to the school and peeks inside, "Good. She's still talking to those brats." He nonchalantly quick-steps out of the village and heads straight for Margret's house. Once there, he stops at the front door and nervously looks around. Not seeing anyone, he dashes inside.

He waits for his eyes to adjust to the dim light then begins his search, "Alright. If I were a witch, where would I hide the spell I had just written?" He walks over to where the circle used to be, "Okay. They were sitting across from each other in this area with candles between them and the parchments were next to the candles." A light bulb goes off in his head. He snaps his fingers, "The candles!"

He looks around the room and sees the seven mostly melted candles arranged on and around the fireplace. Carefully examining each one, he pays particular attention to their bottoms. At last, he picks up the large candle that sat between the women and sure enough, there the parchments are, stuck to its bottom. A devilish smile spreads across his face while he peels the parchments off and tucks them into his waistband. "I've got you now, witch." One final scan of the room then he slithers out of the house and back to the village.

*CONTINUED*