#41 – Goodbye

She couldn't fall asleep no matter what she did. Earlier, she had ventured out of her room and to the balcony, hoping her little trip would help sleep come easier to her. Little did she know, her trip there gave her an unexpected encounter with Ciel Phantomhive that made her feel more awake than ever. She had tried counting sheeps but lost count eventually. After that, she tried to tire herself by doing push-ups, unfortunately it only earned her sore arms.

Nothing worked. None could quiet her flustered mind. In the end, she just flopped down on her bed with a frustrated sigh.

Estella laid on her bed, staring intensely at the ceiling as she lifted her fingers up to her lips once more. She could still feel them tingling from the kiss Ciel and her shared. It felt surreal. Was it just her imagination making fun of her? She just couldn't bring herself to believe it but the tingle that made her lips tremble was always there to remind her that it was indeed real.

Everytime her mind wandered back to play with that memory, heat would erupt in her like fire and spread across her cheeks, colouring them red.

She never knew nor did it ever come across her mind that she would ever be kissed by Ciel Phantomhive. The way his lips had moved with hers made her feel like a fragile doll that would break if he did otherwise. The gentleness she didn't know the seemingly cold, serious Earl was capable of had taken her by surprise.

The moment they shared was wonderful, frustrating and confusing.

What did that all mean? What were they now? And how was she going to act around the boy now? Act like it didn't happen? Estella rolled to her side with a heavy sigh. How was he going to act around her? What about Elizabeth?

Like her question was synched with her memory, the words she heard from the day rang in her head.

"Your master is betrothed to my daughter. Do you think I'm going to let someone incompetent guard my son-in-law and risk the future of the Phantomhives?"

Cringing inwardly at the pang of guilt that struck her hard like a hammer, her eyebrows furrowed deeply as she thought of a certain cheerful and good-natured young Midford. Guilt grew tenfold along with shame when her mind played the image of Ciel's and Elizabeth's linked arms.

Her hands curled up into shaking fists and the sides of her mouth turned down.

She suddenly felt despicable.

….

"The guests would be arriving soon." Estella craned her head to look at Sebastian whose gaze was on his pocket watch. "Is the Young Master's tea ready?"

"Almost." She turned back to the unfinished tea with a nod.

"Excellent." The butler snapped the watch in his hand close. "Serve it quick before the guest arrive." He strode out of the kitchen without another word.

Yawning tiredly, Estella glanced down at her work with a sigh and moved to finish it. Her face hardened with a determined look as she placed the tea set on the silver platter, her thoughts set on the decision she had spent the almost whole night thinking about.

She had to tell him. She knew it was the only way to steer them back to their rightful relationship.

Eyebrows set in a furrow, Estella lifted the platter off the counter and strolled out of the kitchen, heart racing.

….

Focusing on the paperwork on the desk proved to be difficult for Ciel Phantomhive this morning. Each time he tried to read the details on the papers, he would find himself thinking about last night instead, and a smile on his lips when he did. He felt foolish everytime he realized he was doing that.

Ciel put down the papers in his hands and leaned into his chair, finally deciding to give in to his wandering mind.

He knew he was in a high spirit today, for everything suddenly seemed…great to him.

His lips were still tingling even though that kiss happened the previous night. His body still felt as if it was floating and his heart felt as it wanted to fly out of his chest. His feelings he had developed for the certain girl with icy blue eyes and fiery red hair as well as the way the sensation he felt from the kiss still lingered frightened him. He couldn't tell which one was more frightening.

These feelings…They were wrong, he knew, so wrong for someone like him. Was it even right for him who had decided to live for hatred and vengeance to even feel such…emotions for someone else? He was almost sure he had no such capability to feel something like this or at least vowed to continue living only for the sake of avenging his family and the humiliation bought upon them.

Ciel shook his head.

There was no point running through those thoughts again and again when none could help to diminish these feelings. There was no turning back, no, he didn't want to turn back. He felt like some lovesick fool right now but he never did felt even a tinge of regret over what he had done last night. It scared him how he yearned to place his lips over those soft lips of hers again, yearned for the warmth that spread through his body when he held her to him.

Did it feel the same for her? And how was he going to act around her now? Should he allow himself to delve further? Or should he stop? Which was it?

Ciel glanced up and looked at the door apprehensively, but surprise took over when a knock suddenly sounded from the other side.

….

Her fingers uncurled from the fabric of her apron which she had been clutching in a white-knuckle grip, and raised them to the door before her. Her eyes were cold and decisive as she thumped on the door, her heart pounding hard with anticipation.

"Come in." Her permission to enter penetrated through the door seconds later.

Estella inhaled a deep breath and nudged open the door with her hip, eyes kept to the platter in her hands as she stepped inside the room. She could see the Earl watching her through her eyelashes, his body upright and leaning toward her, as if he was anticipating to see her. That sight made her stomach clench and her sink deeper into sadness.

Biting the inside of her mouth nervously, she stopped before the desk and delicately placed down the tea set on the platter, ignoring the heavy gaze on her.

Ciel tilted his head strangely at the girl before him, watching her set down his tea. Her face was blank and her eyes never once raised to meet his, no matter how much he tried to meet hers. His eyebrows furrowed as worry begin to nag him.

Why was she ignoring him?

Ciel stared anxiously at her.

Was she angry about last night? Was making that move on her wrong?

His heart sank.

She didn't…

Ciel watched her remove and put down the last item on his desk with eye saddened. "Blancbaston," He paused for a moment when he saw her flinched. "Look at me."

Heart thudding against her ribcage, Estella let out a sigh and did as told. "Phantomhive," She met Ciel's gaze with the cold and decisive look that never left her and inhaled sharply. "It never happened."

She gave Ciel a curt nod when she saw his eye widen. "Enjoy your tea." Estella squared her shoulders and strode out of the study.

….

It. Never. Happened.

It was amazing how quickly his mood could be turned completely by mere three words which was stuck in his head like an annoying mantra. Those words were simple but the impact they left behind wasn't. He felt hurt, confused and lost. His uneasiness made him ache to get out of his study and find her to get to the bottom of the matter, like he intended to but was interrupted by the arrival of his guests.

Now in his study, Ciel nodded with feigned interest as he listened to the man across drone on, eye fixed on the paper in his hand with blankness in it. Those words coated by the deep voice were just fading in and out. Nothing was getting into his head, not when he was so bothered by a certain servant's words.

"…Ah, I nearly forgot!"

Perking up at that sudden raise of volume, Ciel glanced up and over his desk at the two guests before him to find a paper being slid over him. He raised his eye questionably back to them.

William Arden, a middle aged man with greying hair smiled a polite sheepish smile at him across the desk. "Forgive my forgetfulness…this is the report you had requested a month ago."

"Of course," Ciel glanced down at the paper with understanding. "I see you have-"

A soft giggle stopped him and made him look up only to realize it came from the man's twelve year old daughter, Christal Arden who he noticed had been staring intently at him ever since the start of their discussion, watching his every move with her beady eyes. He didn't miss the endearing looks she gave him everytime he spoke. They weirded him out and it took him effort not to squirm in his chair. The more the reason why he couldn't wait for this to end.

Ciel forced a smile at the girl but cringed inwardly when he received another giggle from her.

Goodness, when is this over? He thought grudgingly.

...

Ciel bounded down the hallway as soon as he was finished with the business meeting and had left Sebastian to attend to the guests. His impatience drove him to glance around urgently and peeked into rooms he passed. However, none brought him to her and he was growing more frustrated and impatient by the minute.

Stupid of him! He had hurried out of his study, excusing himself and had totally forgot to question the butler about the girl's whereabout when Sebastian entered the room to serve the guests.

Where was she?

He had checked her room, the library, the entertainment room, the balcony, the kitchen and almost every corner of the huge house including his own room but she was nowhere to be found.

Ciel pushed apart the doors to the outside, only to wince at the brightness of the afternoon sun. Stepping over the threshold with an arm raised over his eye to block the light, he quickly spotted a head of blond hair sticking out from behind a rose bush.

"Finny!" Ciel carefully made his way over to the gardener who had snapped his head up to look around, stepping over the gardening equipment that were left scattered all over the freshly cut grass.

"Young Master!" Finny with a cheerful face, scrambled to his feet and brushed dirt off his pants when he realized who it was. "You called?" He peered over the bush at Ciel who nodded in reply.

"Have you seen Blancbaston?"

Finny's face wrinkled with a frown as the gardener thought about Ciel's question. "Oh right!" His face lit up a few moments later. "She told me she was going to tend to the horses earlier on!"

"I see, the stable then…" Ciel muttered thoughtfully to himself. "Alright, carry on." He gave Finny a nod before moving off in the direction of the place in mind.

Just like what they said…

Finny watched the young Earl go, blinking curiously at his retreating back.

Something is definitely going on between them.

….

"Here you go, buddy." Estella gave the horse a pat on its neck as it crunched down on the rosy apple clamped between its teeth before the fruit completely disappeared into its mouth. The redhead rose an eyebrow when the horse turned its head to her and buried its snout into her hands, sniffing pushily against them for more of its favourite snack.

"No more apples, Apple." She chuckled, spreading her hands wide to show the horse. "You ate them all, you greedy horse." She let out another chuckle when the pale horse started nibbling her hands. The horse finally moved its head away after it found nothing in her hands, with a snort and stomping of its hooves.

Was it seriously throwing a tantrum? Estella raised an eyebrow at the horse, amazed.

"I guess you do deserve one more for cheering me up." She grinned at the restless mare and strolled out of its stall. Even if it was only for a little while. Her grin flattered and her eyes saddened as she slowed down before the barrel by the bricked wall behind the stall, sticking her arm through the little gap she made when she lifted the lid and grabbed an apple.

The deed was done. She had said it, though she had a longer speech in mind. Seeing that brilliant robin-blue of his eyes she had grew to love dissipated the speech she had lost sleep over to create, and had her blurting out three words instead.

"It never happened."

They were vague but she was sure he had figured it out, seeing the stunned look on his face.

A part of her wished she didn't say what she said, another was glad she have prevented the ruin of someone else's marriage. It was never her plan to fall in love with the Earl when she agreed to work for him. All she wanted to do was to destroy SIGMA. How in the world did things end up this way? Her in love with him? These unnecessary feelings…How do she get rid of them?

With a sigh, she walked off in the direction of the stall, her fingers curling tighter around the rosy fruit in her hand as she tried to brush away her depressing thoughts. Making her way around the wall, she re-entered the stable once more with her eyes fixed on the pale horse which had nestled itself on the thick stack of hay in its stall.

However just as she was about to take another stride forward, she found her back pinned to a wall and her front pressed up against another but warm and breathing in a flash.

What the hell just-

Looking up, she found herself staring at the face of Ciel Phantomhive whose left eye was hard and flat like a piece of blue glass but not without a hint of something which came close to pain. Shocked by his sudden appearance, she gasped sharply, her eyes wide and bottom lip hanging.

"Wha-What are you-"Not waiting for her to finish, Ciel wordlessly clasped the back of her head and smashed his lips into hers. "Mmph!" Estella's eyes sprang wide, so stunned by the warmth on her lips that she instantly dropped the apple in her hand.

No! No! Shit, no! What is he doing? Her eyes fluttered shut. Shit! Shit! Damn it, why the hell are you closing your eyes, stupid! Open them and push him away! Push him off, damn you! Instead, her arms curled themselves around his neck, like they had minds of their own.

What are you doing?! Remove them- Her thoughts was instantly vanquished by a jolt like electricity that shot through her body when she felt Ciel push himself past her lips and just like that, she felt her control slipping.

Hands burying themselves in his hair, she dimly felt him circled his other arm around her waist and let out a whimper when he pushed her snug close to himself, their lips overlapping with each other intensely. A sound close to a growl sounded from the back of his throat as Ciel tugged her bottom lip between his teeth possessively, sending shivers down her spine.

If not for the wall behind and him holding her, her quivering weak knees would have caused her to end up on the ground. She was still amazed and surprised how good a kisser her master was even thought this was their second, it was like he had done this so many times. With who? She wondered. Probably…

…Elizabeth. Her eyes sprang open as realization crashed upon her.

What the holy horse am I doing?

Her lips on his slowed.

Ciel who had sensed her sudden hesitation, stopped and gazed down at her, concerned. He felt her body tensed under his fingers, every muscle tightening and that was the only warning before he felt himself being shoved away.

He looked up and froze when he was met with the same cold eyes she held earlier in his study, astonished by the drastic change in her mood. A moment ago she was kissing him passionately, now she was glaring at him as though he was the one who had caused the massacre of her family.

"You…" Her ice blue eyes grew hard as she sent a cold glare at him through her eyelashes. "…Stay away from me."

Bewilderment filled him. "What's with you…?" Ciel's eyebrows were flattened with hurt as he took a hesitant step toward her with a hand outstretched to her. He was surprised by the obvious pain in his own voice and actions when he questioned her. She was probably the only person so far and maybe…the only one he had allowed to see him this emotional, for he was like an open book now.

"I-I…" Estella looked away, not daring to continue staring at the expression on his face which looked almost like he was pleading, very afraid that she would waver again. "…have no feelings for you. You and I should stop where we are. You are a noble and I'm a servant so we cannot do such a thing."

The look on Ciel's face fell as irritation shot through him at her words. "Rightfully, you are still a noble like me because you are born one, yes?" His mouth tightened with a frown. "And since you were raised as one, you should know that it's rude to not look at the person who's speaking to you. Even if you're not, that is basic courtesy."

Estella frowned and opened her mouth to retort, fighting the urge to raise her head. "I-"

"But of course, you can't look at me. You know why?" Glaring at her feet, she didn't realize Ciel had made his way to her until she felt her chin being held and her head being gently yet firmly turned to him. Her eyes widened when she found herself pinned down by a hard gaze which looked almost soft with affection. "That's because you're lying."

Silence.

"I'm-I'm sorry? What?" She quirked her eyebrows incredulously at him. "It's the truth, stu-stu-stupid! I already like someone else!"

"Don't lie. You know I hate liars." Ciel's gaze turned dull at her declaration.

"I'm not!" Estella ripped her chin out of his hand and glared at him. "I like…" She desperately raked her brain for a name. "…Brandon!" Clever. Very clever, you fucking idiot! Out of all people! Seriously! Out of the whole bloody world, you had to use that angel freak? She inwardly rolled her eyes at her reckless choice, fighting the urge to slap herself in the forehead and groan aloud.

"I don't believe you."

Might as well go along with that…

Her shoulders squared at her thought.

"Oh, believe what you want but it is true." Estella stuck her chin out stubbornly. "We kissed on the night of that Winter Ball at your manor!" She stared into his left eye unwaveringly, her stomach clenched at the fact that she had let out the embarrassing little information she told no one. Her heart felt like it was in her mouth.

Ciel's eye widened a fraction at her confession, as what felt like an icy hand clamped around his heart. "No…" He glared heatedly, refusing to acknowledge the absolute confidence in her eyes when she said it. Her denial was getting on his nerve. "Stop lying to me and yourself, Blancbaston. Enough with all these rubbish!" Why was she denying everything?

"They are not rubbish!" Her hands clenched. "They are precious to me. My time with him…I cherish every moment with him!" She thumped a hand above her chest with emphasis.

You're such a liar.

"He's the one I'm in love with, not you."

Wow, that's the best bullshit you've ever came up with.

"I didn't want to leave SIGMA but I couldn't bear to tell you that since it took you so much effort to get me out!"

She nearly wanted to take all those back and admit she was indeed lying when she saw his mouth twisted and saw something behind his eye that made her heart skip a beat. A starburst of pain in the eye of his that mirrored her own, behind her every word.

No, don't stop. It's for his own good and Lady Elizabeth's…and yours.

"I miss him every single day. Every time I wake up, I yearned to see him and feel his lips on mine again." Estella felt her throat swell with the presence of tears as she watched him slowly back away from her, his gaze on her growing colder and hard with the pain she saw disappearing. "So I'm sorry…for misleading you all these while." With that, Estella trailed off to an uncomfortable silence.

Ciel fought to reign control over his trembling body and his voice he was about to emit.

He didn't want to believe a single word from her but it was hard. They were relentless bullets that kept wounding him, bringing him so much pain that he rather be shot by a real one."…Let me guess," His voice managed to come out calm like he hoped for, breaking the silence. "You pretended I was him the two times we kissed." It was not a question, but a statement.

Estella gulped thickly, forcing her eyes to stay on his and nodded. "…Yes."

She watched him turn his back to her with her heart pounding hard against her ribcage.

"…Then I don't wish to see your face or hear your voice anymore."

Her eyes widened.

"Leave." Ciel turned his head back to her with his visible eye devoid of emotions. The blank, almost icy look in it froze her where she stood. "Get out of this manor. You're fired." He turned and walked away, leaving her staring at his retreating back through wavering lens of tears.

I'm sorry.

Finally, Estella turned away with a shaky deep breath, afraid she would give in to her breaking heart and run after him if she didn't look away. If that's what will help you and me move on…then I'll be gone before tomorrow comes.

….

Night came fast. Avoiding the young earl for the redhead was not a problem since the staying guests had kept the earl busy. For her, she went straight to her room right after what happened and gave in to her exhaustion. That 'talk' at the stable wore her down so sleep won as soon as she laid on her bed.

Estella let out a soft sigh as she checked the time once again.

Now, she was well-rested and it was late and safe enough for her to avoid seeing any of the manor's residents, knowing it would be harder for her to leave if she met any of the other servants she had grown to love over time halfway out of the manor. And even harder if it was…him.

Giving the pair of knee-high boots Meyrin had given her on Christmas sitting on the floor a sad look, Estella pulled them on and tightened them around her legs with secured knots, adjusting them over the black pants on her which fitted her snugly from the waist to the ankles. Once she had checked that the boots were comfortably tight enough, she swept her gaze over to the weapons she had taken from the training room, namely a short sword and two daggers.

They were necessary if she wanted to survive on her own, she thought grimly as she secured them to the weapon belt around her waist– the sword on her left and the daggers on her right.

Estella pushed herself to her feet and walked over to the full-length mirror at the corner of her room, gathering a bundle of her hair the instant she was before it and carefully tied a half-ponytail with a band. Sweeping the rest of her hair over her shoulders, she pushed away a strand of hair belonging to her fringe which had fell over her eyes when she raised her head to look herself.

Tucked into her pants was a navy blue fitting vest which was worn, buttoned over her collared white shirt. The vest was long at the sides, long enough to cover her butt and thick enough to prevent the sharp blades of the sword and daggers on it from cutting into her skin, like how it was designed to do.

Staring solemnly at the glistening silver ring hanging from her neck, she wrapped a hand around it, instantly reminded of her mother. I won't forget my promise. She let it drop back against her collarbone and turned back to her bed, snatching up the sack bag she had prepared.

Estella swung it over a shoulder and strode to the door, pausing before it to take a last look of the room she had treated her own. She had took what's hers and left what's not behind, of course, besides the weapons and a few clothes she had decided to bring along. A bitter smile curved her lips as she turned around to open the door.

This was it.

She stepped out of the room.

….

Her eyes lingered on a window of a certain dark room which she clearly knew who it belonged to, craving strongly to see his face for one last time before she stepped through the gates. No, she shook her head, leaving would be harder, she told herself.

A silent sigh escaped her lips as she turned and continued to walk away from the manor, down the long path that led to the iron gates in front. It was breezy but quiet tonight. The soft taps her boots made when they touched the ground could be heard in the silence of the night, but safely inaudible to the residents slumbering the manor behind her.

The familiar sights around her brought out memories of her time in the Phantomhive manor. Some were silly, some were dangerous and some were… Estella squeezed her eyes close and she tried to brush away the unhappy ones.

I had a good life here. A smile appeared on her face. But it's time to let go. The smile disappeared as she quickened her pace, looking forward with a straight face.

"Where do you think you are going…?"

Estella jumped at the voice with a stifled shriek and spun around, shocked to find Sebastian holding the reins of Apple, her white mane and a pouch in his other hand. She quickly regained her composure, relieved that it was Sebastian instead of a certain earl she was afraid she would see.

She blinked at the butler who looked amused. "Sebastian…" She was surprised and at the same time, glad to see Sebastian who she had sort of saw as a mentor before she left for good.

Sebastian walked toward her with Apple trotting behind him. "Take the horse and this bit of money with you."

"But…" Estella looked shocked again, as she stared at the reins and the pouch held out to her. "…Why?"

The butler suddenly looked a little impatient for a while but his features softened ever so slightly after that. "I would have failed as the head servant of the Phantomhive household for poor hospitality if I let one leave the Phantomhive manor on foot and penniless."

She wanted to cry at his words, but she stopped herself. "T-Thank you, Sebastian, I'll certainly miss you too." She dived into Sebastian whose hands were still occupied and threw her arms around his torso, surprising the demon with a tight hug.

"…Don't mention it." Sebastian blinked at the girl holding him and took a step back with the ghost of a smile when she pulled away. "Now, take these." He extended the items in his hands out toward her once again.

This time, Estella readily and gratefully took them in her hands. The pale horse behind Sebastian let out a soft whine when she took over its reins. "Good to see you too, Apple…" She smiled when it nudged her with its snout. "I need to go now, Sebastian…" Estella turned to the demon. "Thank you for having me."

"It was a pleasure," Sebastian bowed at his waist and straightened, stepping around them and took long strides over to the gates, pulling one side of it open.

Estella gave him a nod and moved to keep the money pouch in her bag before pulling herself up onto Apple, settling onto the saddle Sebastian had prepared for her. Looking up, she guided the horse toward where the demon stood and stopped right at the gates, gazing down at Sebastian. "Goodbye, Sebastian."

"Farewell, Estella Blancbaston."

Estella gave the demon a small smile before turning to face the front. "Let's go, Apple." Softly nudging the horse underneath, she rode through the gates and off into the welcoming arms of the night.

….

Morning sunlight shone through the window and decorated the room with its gentle brightness and warmth. The thick drapes that were supposed to be there to shield it away had already been drawn aside by Sebastian who was now setting up breakfast for the slumbering young earl.

Sebastian had an amused, knowing smile on his face as his red eyes laid on the head of blue, messy hair that stuck out from the thick cover, wondering how his master was going to take the news that Estella Blancbaston had left.

He knew about their little moments he quietly didn't quite agree with and how it had all ended in the stable yesterday afternoon – nothing in this manor could slip past him. He could imagine the shocking blow the boy would experience when he wakes and finds out that she was really gone. While he did appreciate her absence since she was a distraction for the young earl, he had to admit he did felt a little…sad about her leaving.

Sebastian's eyes flickered over to the clock.

He cleared his throat. "Young master, "He drew back the thick covers and was met with the sight of an annoyed earl with a glare thrown through his squinted sleepy-looking eyes. "I suggest that you freshen up now and prepare yourself to be a good host to the guests for today as well." Sebastian watched Ciel who sat up with a grunt and ran a hand through his tousled hair, noticing the small furrow between his eyebrows.

Ciel dragged a hand down his face tiredly. Whatever happened yesterday with Estella had really taken a toll on him that he readily gave in to sleep as soon as he was sure that his guests had been settled comfortably in the guest rooms and he himself had retreat to his room to do so.

He jerked his hand to a pause and he peeked at his butler behind his fingers. "Are they awake yet, Sebastian?"

"Yes, they're now taking their breakfast downstairs."

Ciel nodded and breathed a heavy sigh through his nose, letting his hand drop onto his lap. "Go tend to them now. I'll head down and take over from you when I'm done."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows in mild surprise and regained his composure with a bow. "Very well," The butler straightened. "Then I'll take my leave now."

Taking long strides to the door, his eyes danced with amusement as he stared his gloved hand that had stopped inches above the door handle. Sebastian briefly peered back at his master over his shoulder, a small smirk curving his lips at Ciel who sat on his bed, staring out of the window with an unreadable expression.

I shall let him find out on his own…

Quietly, Sebastian pulled open the door and slipped out of the room.

….

Ciel stood before the mirror, adjusting his collar with a pensive face. Once he made sure his attire looked presentable with a cursory glance at his own reflection, he raised his eyes back to his face and placed his eyepatch over his right eye, fastening it to him with a simple yet securing knot. Staring back at his reflection, he lightly brushed a hand through his hair with jaw clenched and closed his eye forlornly as he tried to remember how it felt like when a certain pair of hands were buried in them.

"He's the one I'm in love with, not you."

His eye snapped open to reveal anguish as he let his hand drop aside.

Even though those words came out straight out from her mouth, a part of him didn't believe them. Something was strange about how she had said, but they still brought about power that had overwhelmed him, pushing him out of control and made him said harsh things he didn't give thoughts about. Those things he had said, his ice cold facade when he said them…were just so that he could shut himself away, to put a stop to the way he had left himself so open to her who he had allowed to see his true, vulnerable self he had always hid away behind his cold, aloof exterior.

All he could do was hope that she didn't take his words seriously. It scared him how much the thought of her leaving him had frightened him. He could swallow the fact that she did not reciprocate his feelings though it was sure going to take him a while, but as long as she was still here, things will be maybe…okay.

He just had to think of ways to make sure of that.

"You're really turning into a soft fool, Ciel Phantomhive." He glared heatedly at himself in the mirror before turning away with a shake of head. "You're disgusting."

An exasperated sigh escaped Ciel as he pulled the door open and stepped out.

….

No, it can't be.

Ciel stared in disbelief at the depressing, empty room before him, yanking off the eyepatch on his right eye just to be sure he was seeing things correctly.

Was this a prank she played to get back at him?

He was on the way to attend to his guests when he passed the door of Estella's room and thoughts of her had tugged him toward it. He had knocked, standing outside it for what felt like a long time before deciding to peep into the room since there was no response, expecting with high hopes that he would find her snoring softly under her covers, oversleeping again. That she would be there, mumbling incoherently on her bed or maybe even glaring at him for opening the door without her permission.

But no, there was no one.

At first, he had assumed that she had already woken up and her room was empty because she was already out doing her chores or something. When he took a second look around the room, he noticed unusual about it. Her dressing table had barely anything on it, aside from the used candles and some bottles on it. Her wardrobe door was left ajared and he saw that it had nothing in it.

"…Then I don't wish to see your face or hear your voice anymore."

"Don't tell me…" He scanned the room with a bewildered look, his hand curling tight around the eyepatch in his hand.

"Leave."

The sinking sensation in him made him grit his teeth and he was caught by surprise at the way his throat had started to swell with a presence of what felt like…tears.

"Get out of this manor. You're fired."

Fear crept into his heart as he made a move toward the door, about to run out to search for a certain redhead but caught himself when his eyes fell on something on the neatly made bed. Eyes boring into it, Ciel slowly approached the bed and found himself staring at a folded maid uniform, her uniform. His eyes widened a fraction when he saw a piece of equally neatly folded paper on it, and reached out to pick it up, holding it up delicately in his hand.

'To Phantomhive', he read before pulling the paper open.

"By the time you're reading this letter, I'm already far, far away from here. Yes, I'd left but not because you told me to. I feel that it's the best for the both of us if I do…

Anyway, I'm glad we met. I was lucky to be found by you when I fainted outside SIGMA. I'm sorry for the troubles I had brought along when you took me in, and more seemed to appear during my stay in your manor. I had a great life while I was here, so thank you.

Please don't bother about the matters regarding SIGMA any longer. Yes, I know they are assigned to you by the Queen, but once you're freed from your investigation, turn away from them. I'll deal with them myself since they are my troubles. I don't know how but I will. Last but not the least…forget me.

From the bottom of my heart, I would like to give you and Lady Elizabeth my blessing ahead of your future wedding. Thank you for everything.

Farewell,

Estella Blancbaston"

Stiffly folding the paper once he had reached the end of the letter, Ciel sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, with widened eyes and shaking breath. Just minutes ago in his room, he was still thinking about ways to fix things with her and now…what he had feared has came true.

Harsh realization dawned on him. She had left. Truly left.

The wide eye expression on his face fell into a straight face as the young earl slowly stood up, his shoulders slumped with defeat. If this is what you want… He looked up and started toward the door, a cold, stoic look melting over his face. Forgetting you is what I'll do…

Stepping over the paper he had let go, he walked out of the room.

….

In the spacious entertainment room of the manor, a curious pair of red eyes belonging to Sebastian watched the young earl's lips quirk into a smirk from where he stood. Ever since his master stepped into the room to join the guests, he had been watching him closely, for signs of distraught or emotions of the same sort. But he showed none, as if he…wasn't aware of her absence. Was he? Was he really still oblivious to that?

Before him, sat in an armchair like William Arden who was by his left and Christal Arden by his right was the same Earl Ciel Phantomhive he had worked and knew for years.

As sharp as a knife.

As cunning as a fox.

As wise as an owl at a young age.

For someone like him, he should have already realized that Estella Blancbaston was no longer anywhere in the manor. Sebastian continued to study Ciel, growing more puzzled as he watched sly amusement quietly dance in the visible left eye of his master.

Sebastian stepped forward to wipe the droplet of tea that had managed land on the coffee table, still observing the picture before him, catching how Christal Arden had blushed when his master turned to address her with a charming smile.

His eyes narrowed suspiciously at Ciel. Humans can be such puzzles sometimes. What's-

"Sebastian," He quickly dropped the suspicious look and returned his attention to his master who he realized was now on his feet and was starting to lead the guests out of the room. "Do the honour of escorting our guests out."

"Yes, my lord." Nodding curtly at Ciel, the said butler turned to the pair of father and daughter with a bow. "Allow me to do that honour."

"Please do." William Arden smiled and nodded pleasantly at the butler.

With a graceful gesture at the door, Sebastian watched the guests take the cue to walk out of the room, his eyes blinking curiously at Ciel who had followed and fell in step beside them. Strange…Is it just me or Young Master seems a little more sociable than usual today.

….

Sebastian stood by the door of the carriage door, his eyes flickering over to the gates with a meaningful gleam in them for a while before glancing over to the conversation behind him.

"I hope you found your stay here enjoyable, Mr. Arden." His gaze rested particularly on his master who he watched, turning to the man's daughter after that to address her as well. "Have you, Miss Arden?" The girl curtsied with a shy giggle, nodding in response.

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at his master's action, surprised that he was playing the good, the very good host. Definitely more sociable today, Sebastian concluded, since his master would usually leave things like that to him.

"It was wonderful." He turned his attention to the older Arden who nodded pleasantly. "It's time we go, Earl, thank you once again."

"My pleasure, Mr. Arden."

Stepping aside quickly, Sebastian pulled open the carriage door when the man stepped forward with his daughter in tow. Once they were safely settled in the cushy interior of the vehicle, Sebastian bowed at the waist with his lips graced by a polite smile and closed the door. The butler thumped on the carriage twice to give the coachman his signal to drive and stood back, watching the carriage slowly trudge out of the driveway.

His eyes were on the moving carriage, but his mind was somewhere else, busy pondering about his master who now stood beside him.

Perhaps…

Sebastian took out his pocket watch and looked at the time thoughtfully.

…I should tell him now instead–

"Sebastian," A voice quiet and dark from Ciel suddenly interrupted his thought, "When did she leave?"

Stilling at his question, the butler's eyes grew wide.