A/N: It's been a couple days. My apologies. I took a mini-cation where I just needed to separate for a while. But I'm back! As always, leave your comments and reviews. It means a lot to me. Enjoy!
She woke up with a pounding headache, not sure where she was. She remembered being in Stars Hollow with her mom, talking about Logan. She obviously remembered his new death sentence. Groaning, she finally opened her eyes, taking in her surroundings. It smelled like a hospital - a smell she was all too familiar with - and it looked like it. She could hear the beeping of the heart monitor and she could feel the IV in her hand.
"You're awake," she heard Logan say, his hand squeezing hers as she looked over at him. He was sitting in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, leaning on the bed. He looked exhausted; he looked like he'd been crying. "How you feeling?"
"Like I've been hit by a truck. What happened?" A look of concern flashed on his face and she could only think the worst as her free hand went to her stomach. She could feel their baby playing soccer, so at least they were fine.
"You have gestational diabetes, Rory," he said flatly. "No more coffee, no more junk food, more exercise. Pretty much, going against the Gilmore Handbook. I know, you don't want to, but you have to." She nodded. His voice lacked emotion, lacked everything. He was flat.
"Logan," she said softly. He finally looked in her eyes and she saw everything he was hiding. "What're you thinking?" She moved her hand from her stomach to cup his face as he leaned into her touch.
"I thought I was going to lose you or the baby or both. I got a call from Lorelai and she couldn't tell me anything and when I got here she was so upset. I'm sorry." She was confused. What did he have to be sorry for? He wasn't the one that was laying in the hospital bed at that moment. He wasn't the one who scared her mother and her husband. He'd done nothing wrong. "Is this how you've been feeling for the past year? Is this how I've been making you feel?" It finally hit her.
"Every time we go to one of your doctors appointments, I feel like it's going to be it. Every time you ended up in the hospital, it felt like you weren't going to go home." Rather than answering her with words, he kissed her gently. She hated seeing him like this, hated seeing him worry.
She blamed herself. Her whole lifestyle was what put her in the hospital. Her whole lifestyle was what caused her to get so sick. She could have lost their baby. That was what was going through her mind. She could have lost their baby and it would have been her fault. The junk food, the coffee. Logan had told her to give up the coffee, but she'd been adamant. She'd refused. And now here she was, laying in a hospital bed.
"Rory, what's wrong?" he asked. She hadn't realized she'd been crying. Her hand rested on her stomach. She could have lost their baby. "Talk to me." His voice was soft, gentle. His hand cupped her cheek.
"This is all my fault," she said, matter-of-factly, still crying. "You told me to eat better. You told me to stop with the coffee. I didn't think this would happen, I didn't think…"
"This is not your fault, Rory. You can't blame yourself for this. This is genes, this is a one in a million chance of this happening. You can't blame yourself." She knew he was just saying that, and she knew he knew it as well. She knew she was to blame for this.
"How you feeling, Mrs. Huntzberger?" her doctor asked. It wasn't her normal OBGYN, and it was someone she hadn't met before. The woman wheeled an ultrasound machine in with her.
"I've been better," she answered. Logan removed his hand from her cheek, taking her free hand instead.
"I'm going to assume your husband filled you in on the situation. You're going to have to check your blood sugar regularly. Especially before and after meals. A nurse will be in shortly to show you how to do that. You need to start eating better, fruits and vegetables. Try to stay away from the carbs, So, now that all the seriousness is done with, do you want to see your baby?" Rory smiled, nodding her head.
The gel was cold as always. But when the picture showed up on the screen, she lit up even more. She could tell where her baby was now, could see it's head and its feet. If it moved right she could see it's arms and hands.
"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" she looked at Logan. They hadn't really talked about if they wanted to know, but they'd had the running argument. This was how they'd finally put the boy or girl to rest.
"I want to know if you want to know," Logan told her. She kissed him softly before turning to the doctor, nodding her head 'yes.' Her doctor moved the wand around a little bit more before smiling.
"Congratulations. You're having a boy." A boy… She was shocked. She had been so sure it was going to be a little girl, but she was happy. Her images of that girl shifted. She could see his smirk - the one he'd get from his father. She could see Logan's hair, but her eyes. She could see him bringing home a girl for the first time, or the first time he got caught out after curfew. All these images flashed through his mind.
Logan's face was stuck in a look of shock. The doctor walked out, giving them a minute. "Logan," she said softly. He looked up at her, a smile on his face.
"We're having a boy, Ace. I'm going to have a son…" His voice trailed off.
"Don't let your mind go there, Logan. Don't think about it right now. Think about this, we're having a son. Just think about that," she practically begged him. She knew he listened when his posture changed, when his demeanor changed.
"We're having a son," he almost whispered, eyes lighting up. "We haven't chosen a name yet," he then pointed out. They'd picked out a name for a girl, but not for a boy. Despite Logan insisting it was a boy, her positivity of a girl outweighed his hunch. Apparently he was right.
"We have a few more months to pick out a name," she reminded him, knowing he was going to start a list of possible names. "Just promise me we won't name him after Finn." He laughed, pulling her in for a kiss. When their embrace ended, a nurse came in, showing Rory how to check her blood sugar and telling her what to do if it's too high or low.
She saw him on the phone, most likely with Finn or Colin. Her mom walked in, taking Logan's seat as he stepped into the hall. "We're having a boy," she told her mom.
"A boy?" she asked, dumbfounded. "Surely you're mistaking. Gilmores have girls, not boys - except your grandfather. He was the exception. You were supposed to have the next Lorelai," she then said. Rory knew she was joking, so she just smiled with a chuckle.
"Well then, we have another exception. Logan thought about not being there for him as soon as the doctor said it. I had to tell him not to think about it, but it's there. It's always going to be there." She sighed as her mother took her hands in hers.
"You guys are going to get through this and that little boy will know he has the most loving parents in the world." She hoped her mom was right. She hoped their son would know how much his daddy had loved him.